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We're back on ppv with a big one, people!  Our main event, the heavyweight cheese title on the line as Bsams takes on Velo in the first ever Hell in a Cheese Grater! The champ has enlisted Drzsmith to be his cornerman for this deadly and dangerous match! Nowhereman puts the Intercuntinental title up against King Snarf in a Chained Fury match as both men are chained together at the wrist! TK-069 puts the Eurotrash belt up against the winner of the four way match on Havoc, Grimm! Cowgirl Jack defends the Women's Booby title against Stareena, winner of the women's battle royal a few weeks back! Captain Sammitch defends his newly won Lightweight Faggot title against the new number one contender, Dave The Wonder Boy! Urg and FNB go up against Bibbo and Iman in a hardcore tag match! Notwedge goes one on one against Doc. Mid-Nite! And in a tag team grudge bout, Joe Mama and Son of Mxy seek revenge against rWo members Chewy Walrus and Backwards7! This is Bad Cheese! 
JoeMama/SonofMxy (47%, 23 Votes)
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ChewyWalrus/Backwards7 (53%, 26 Votes)
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Notwedge (71%, 35 Votes)
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Doc. Mid-Nite (29%, 14 Votes)
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Urg/FNB (34%, 17 Votes)
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Bibbo/I-man (66%, 33 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch champ (82%, 40 Votes)
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Dave The Wonder Boy (18%, 9 Votes)
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Cowgirl Jack champ (70%, 35 Votes)
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Stareena (30%, 15 Votes)
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TK-069 champ (44%, 22 Votes)
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Grimm (56%, 28 Votes)
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Nowhereman champ (56%, 28 Votes)
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King Snarf (44%, 22 Votes)
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Bsams champ (68%, 34 Votes)
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Kristogar Velo (32%, 16 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, welcome to Bad Cheese! As you may or may not now, I am King Snarf, the cornerstone of this company and, quite frankly, the single most entertaining sumbitch in RDCW today! Tonight, I get another shot at the IC title in a Chained Fury match! I am eagerly looking forward to this for two reasons. First, Joe Mama, after having hit me with an El Camino, has refused my challenge of a match, saying I have nothing to offer him. Well, when I win tonight and become the new IC champ, I'm willing to bet that he might change his toon. The other reason I'm excited is it gives me the opportunity to beat the living hell out of my biggest fan, Nowhereman. Even though he idolizes me (and I can't say I blame him), I don't much cotton to the way he handles himself as co-General Manager. He has used his power and influence to bring himself glory. He has conned his way into not one, but two championships! He makes matches for the sole purpose of fueling his twisted ego, when he should be making matches to satisfy you, the fans of RDCW! *pause for cheap pop* Now, many of you might think that this is just an act, that when he goes home he's a regular Joe like you or me. Well, not too long ago, I handcuffed myself to Nowhereman, and let me tell you, he's an even bigger freak at home! He listens to Yanni, his favorite movie Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, and, though I can't quite verify (it's too horrible a secret to delve further) I have reason to believe that he had phone sex with LLance! Well, his egomaniacal shenanigans end tonight! Chained Fury! Nowhereman! King Snarf! Blood, mayhem, and perhaps a delightful beverage after I win! Tonight! King Snarf has spoken!
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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My house? I thought it was yours?
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The Cheese-O-Tron comes on. Joe Mama is in the Trainer's Room, getting his wrist taped before his match.
Do you two listen to yourselves? Do you hear the homoerotic ramblings that come out of your mouths? "I handcuffed myself!" "I thought it was your house!" Christ, is your title match gonna be a wrestling match or a slapfight? When did the Cheese-Dome become The Birdcage???
Now, tonight, me and that second-generation superstar, the GREAT Son of Mxy, are in a tag match that can only bring us closer to our goal of taking Championship Gold away from the corruption that is the RwO (and the Power Trip). After that, I may very well take a ringside seat to watch you two cabana boys provide the RDCW fans with a laugh for five or ten minutes. Hell, I may even make my presence felt before the comedy that is your match is through.
Because, Nowhereman, you created a belt specifically to go around your waist. As far as I'm concerned that's a RwO belt, not a REAL RDCW belt, and you're nothing but a fake champ. A phony who desperately needs a cold slap of reality.
And, Snarf, whether you leave this pay-per-view with a belt around your waist or without, you're nothing but a zero with dreams of RDCW glory. And putting you out of your misery may be the most merciful thing I can do for the RDCW fans.
Cheers, boys!
Joe grins and flashes the middle finger, then lift his index finger to give a more "British" sentiment. The Cheese-O-Tron goes black.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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If I realized I was going to main event an LPV, I would've cut some promos and stuff in the past couple of weeks...
And that's terrible.
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king snarf = WBVC champion
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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*Backstage, Doc Mid-Nite walks up to Cowgirl Jack's locker room. As he about to knock on the door, it opens and Grimm walks out, smiling. * "Hey there, Doc."  DMN: "What are you doing in there?" "Just wishing the champ luck." DMN: "Riiiighht. . ." *The two stand nose to nose.* "Watch yourself, Doc." DMN: "You watch yourself." *Grimm walks off as Doc Mid-Nite knocks on the door. Fade out.*
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Hollywoodman is sitting in Robs officeHM:"You sure about this gimmick Rob,is it really me?" RK:"sure,it worked for hogan didnt it?" HM:"Yeah but ya know how I feel about that wanker!" RK:"hey,cut it out,dont take the lords name in vain!" HM:"........." RK:"  " HM:"Ok,I'll go with the name for now,but do I really have to dye my jawline black?"
Go fuck a horse.
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Quote:
King Snarf Rules said: King Snarf Rules!!!
I like him!
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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You Rule!!! RULE!!!
I'm your #1 fan!!! Your gonna KILL nowhereman!!!
king snarf = WBVC champion
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I really like this poster! All hail King Snarf!
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Lets hope he is like that guy who liked John Lennon so much that he shot him!
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SHUT UP! Your just jealous that KING SNARF is a legend and your a big loser that noone likes! KING SNARF is gonna beat you, take your belt, and steal your girlfriend. Then hes gonna kick joemama's ass for what he said! KING SNARF sjould win the heavyweight title too!
HAIL KING SNARF!!!
king snarf = WBVC champion
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Ya hear that? Legend. Can't really argue there....
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Guess that'll make me the "Legend Killer"... Damn. I don' wanna be Randy Orton!!! 
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Yeah,who'd wanna argue with someone who's grammar & spelling is that bad?
Obviously Snarfers goes for inbred hicks!
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Quote:
Nowhereman said: Yeah,who'd wanna argue with someone who's grammar & spelling is that bad? Obviously Snarfers goes for inbred hicks!
Y'know why this statement is so funny? Not because it goofs on RDCW's own Eugene. Not because it's directed at King Deadweight.
It's funny because it comes from the same guy who recruited Sneaky Bunny into the RwO. That's right...Sneaky Bunny, Queen of the posts that make the reader say, "Is that even ENGLIGH?!?"
Snarfers may go for inbred hicks, but at least he doesn't push them for title shots and RwO membership. Which shows how deep Nowhereman's corruption and hypocrisy goes...
But that's okay...I have a feeling there's a little surprise in store for Nowhereman, of the "El Camino" magnitude...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Just cause I recruited a pair of boobies over a huge boob like you!
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DROP TOEHOLD 25+ posts
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DROP TOEHOLD 25+ posts
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What a slobberknocker!
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Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Oh look,Snarf has chosen another of my old avatars! I'm thinking of reporting you & Joe Mama as stalkers..........you sick freaks!
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Quote:
King Snarf Kiss it, bitch! Reged: 03/11/2003 Posts: 652 Loc: The Wastleland that is the Gre...
By the way,what is a Wastleland?
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Howdy sucks! Howdy sucks! Howdy sucks!
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This replay may not be up to usual standards due to health issues, but the Madman does what he can! Last time I let Mike Monroe set me up on a date. . .
Chewy/Backwards over Joe Mama/SoM by dq.
rwo member dave accompanied Chewy and Backwards to ringside, taking every opportunity to interfere in the match and turn the tide every time the rookies got the advantage. Finally Joe Mama had had enough. Reaching under the ring he pulled out his trusty barbed wire baseball bat and assaulted all three rWo members with it, earning his team a disqualification. “Tonight the rWo learned! I am the future of hardcore! I am pain! I am vengeance! I am JOE MAMA!”
Notwedge over Doc Mid-Nite
This was a highflying bout that brought the fans to their feet on multiple occasions. In the end, it was a missed Nite-Cap that allowed Notwedge to hit the Reverse Monkey Death Drop followed up by the Deadly Knee Drop. . .of Death! for Notwedge to pick up another win.
Bibbo/I-man over Rrg/FNB
This match came about as a result of the Lightweight title match between I-man and Urg a few months back. I-man defeated the giant for the belt, but was stripped of the title later by CEO Rob Kamphausen citing grammatical errors in the contract, and the belt was returned to Urg. These two brutal teams squared off in a hardcore tag that saw them both using every conceivable weapon they could find. They fought through the arena, backstage, and out into the streets surrounding the Cheesedome. Finally, the end came when Bibbo and I-man spikepildrove FNB on the hood of a rusty firebird. I hope Monroe was paid up. . .
captain Sammitch over DaveTWB Capt. Sammitch came out swinging and annihilated his opponent this night in a mere thirty two seconds. Nailing his finisher the BBW Bomb and keeping his recently won title.
More replay to come.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Quote:
madman marcum said: captain Sammitch over DaveTWB Capt. Sammitch came out swinging and annihilated his opponent this night in a mere thirty two seconds. Nailing his finisher the BBW Bomb and keeping his recently won title.
The Bath & Body Works Bomb...?
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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He fixes the cable?
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Joined: May 2003
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Quote:
King Snarf said:
Quote:
madman marcum said: captain Sammitch over DaveTWB Capt. Sammitch came out swinging and annihilated his opponent this night in a mere thirty two seconds. Nailing his finisher the BBW Bomb and keeping his recently won title.
The Bath & Body Works Bomb...?
*breaking kayfabe*
Dude, that is the funniest thing I've heard! 
Back in Character
I hate you.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Quote:
Joe Mama said: [Dude, that is the funniest thing I've heard! 
Well, technically, it's the funniest thing you've read....
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Quote:
madman marcum said: More replay to come.
WHEN?!?
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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keep your goddamn panties on!
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Quote:
King Snarf said:
Quote:
madman marcum said: captain Sammitch over DaveTWB Capt. Sammitch came out swinging and annihilated his opponent this night in a mere thirty two seconds. Nailing his finisher the BBW Bomb and keeping his recently won title.
The Bath & Body Works Bomb...?
Don't. You. Wish.
bath and body works. no wonder women aren't attracted to you, Snarf. they think you're one of them! 
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Cowgirl Jack over StareenaI'll just let that mental image settle in your perverted little minds and say "best. match. ever." Grimm over TKAbout midway through this bout, the Women's Booby champ, Cowgirl Jack made her way down to the ring. Both opponents were distracted as she seemed to stop and attempt to decide something. And decide she did! She made her way over to TK's corner and began cheering on the first ever EuroTrash champion! Later, she grabbed the title belt and climbed up on the ring apron and screamed at Grimm. As they argued, TK snuck up behind the challenger. As CJ reached back to hit Grimm with the belt, he ducked and she hit TK instead! As TK reeled in shock, Grimm kicked him in the sternum. . . Fat Retard: The sternum! The sternum! and ddt'd the champ on his belt, getting the one, two, three! After the match, CJ entered the ring as if to attack Grimm, but the two embraced! Cowgirl Jack had defected to the rWo, giving them not one, but two more titles! Nowhereman over Snarf-Chained FuryThis match grew out of the incident where Snarf handcuffed himself to Nowhereman for several weeks! (tellin you, man, fruity. . .) These two used the chain to batter and bloody each other all across the arena. The end came for Snarf when he went for a Wildsault, but failed to notice the chain between his legs! Nowhereman yanked the chain upwards violently, nailing a low blow on the challenger and dropping him to the canvas! Afterwards was a Fuck Off Slam for the pin. Bsams over Velo-Hell in a Cheese GraterThe Cheese Grater, the most vile, demonic, diabolical, and smelly structure created by man. Only one man tonight would exit victorious. And that man would be the reigning champ, Bsams. After a hardcore and brutal bout that saw both men sliced open on the walls of the Cheese Grater, the champ hit his finisher, the blitzkrieg bop, not once, not twice, not three times, but four times in succession on the challenger. As he pinned his foe, Drzsmith raised the cage, allowing the rWo to storm the ring and brutally assault the former champion. As they beat him down, however, the RDCW locker room emptied out as Bibbo, I-man, Doc Mid-Nite, TK-069, Snarf, Son of Mxy, and Joe Mama stormed the ring and took the fight to the rWo as the show ended.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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He fixes the cable?
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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Hahahahahahah. . .one by one you fall like dominoes over the relentless march of the blood tide of the rWo. . .
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Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Quote:
Nowhereman said: rWo in the hizouse!
There's nothing sadder than an 80s-Metalhead trying to be gangsta. Except for an 80s-Metalhead trying to convince a 18-year-old Midwestern gal to get naked for him. Or an 80s-Metalhead using a gimmick title match as an excuse to touch another man's balls. 
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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You on the other hand do not even bother using excuses!
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Not with you always offering to toss your's at me. Y'cunt.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Joined: Oct 2001
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