RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block Vanguard Europe Story Ideas

Is this any good? I just did it, and these are my 2 characters... Vigna and Lazar.

Give me some critical analysis and if you guys still want me to join in your troop I will.....


" They live, yet we were the ones who suffered. We alone suffered for discovering the secrets of life. " His hand pauses, clenched tightly it hesitates for an instant.

His hands glide through the dark water as he contemplates the ramifications of what he is about to do. He looks upwards towards the glistening surface of the ocean and closes his eyes. His feet stand upon ancient tiles that were created by magnificent artisans. Created in a time when modern man was still scurrying across the grassy plains running from tree to tree looking for a chance opportunity to eat, or discover a new tool.

" This island, this wondrous island has been decaying at the ocean's floor for too many millennia. " He thinks to himself, eyes closed tight.

They murder each other, worship wealth, kneel before matinee idols and media stars; and live a life of gluttonous self-assuredness. His people did nothing less and surely more than modern man. Why were his people, his island home to suffer the wrath and judgment of a God who is dead now, more so than he ever was in the past? His people lived alongside the natural world, and embraced the mathematical and scientific brilliance of their own creation. They sought knowledge and wisdom, but in this man's eyes they were seeking truth- the secrets of their creation. He has been down here nearly two hours talking himself through what he is about to do. He has envisioned what the future will bring and the consequences of what he will do this day. The air around him thins. Air trapped inside an electromagnetic bubble that even the ocean's pressure cannot breach.


" Let it be done. " His hand rests atop an ancient pedestal and touches a dark orb.

There is silence and he cannot even hear his heart beat. The orb rises his hand still firmly grasping its curved shape. For a second he gratifyingly thinks he has the world in the palm of his hands. And then a bluish white light breaks through the darkness of the orb. It flickers and whirls with power. A power similar to what now surrounds him now only more ancient. At the same time, unseen by his closed eyes, across the submerged landmass hundreds of encrusted megaliths shed their plankton covered shells in a violent display of power. Atlantis ascends, and this man Vigna looks up eyes wide open, and a wry smile forms across his face.

The island lurches forth from the sea like an oxygen bubble breaking the surface. A deafening boom of mass and power fills the open ocean. The electromagnetic bubble around him dissipates, but his eyes still gaze skyward in the grandeur of defiance. Gulls fly overhead like they were floating in wait for an ancient breeding ground hidden in the genetic memory of their ancestors. His hand draws back from the orb, but it still floats and breathes heavy with the same energy. He turns swiftly his cape coils behind him like a whipping flag in the wind. He looks down from what is now revealed as a hilltop structure upon the remnants of his people. Monuments, palaces, obelisks, pyramids, statues and megaliths are still evident through their thick coatings of silt and sea life. He hears footsteps behind coming from a man who was there all the time, a man who is always behind him in resolute silence and obedience- A slave that has known no other purpose than to serve his Master for thousands of years stands towering above Vigna in awe and stark devotion. In ancient times he would have been described as a Rephaite or something like the Biblical Goliath. This is a description that would be fitting and vaguely true, but completely missing the genius of his creation. A genetically altered clone would be more appropriate. For God or nature had not made this man, but he was created, created by the hands of the master standing before him.

" Lazar, can you not see it magnificence under the muck of filth and time? Do your eyes not cry for our people and the memory of our land? " The Master's eyes well with sadness and joy.

" My lord, Vigna, the water rolls and floods from this land into the sea like the aftermath of a torrential flood. Somehow that seems fitting. When it is restored to it's former glory I will cry in gladness. I will not cry for the thing that stands before me now, because what I see before me is the tomb of Atlantis. " Lazar's massive face curls in as if in pain. " It will be returned to you like an offering, a penance for our people and the wrong done to them, a gift from the Cherubim. " His hands outstretch and point to a scene of hundreds of seabirds preying on the sea life trapped on the newly risen island, a feast of fish and urchins, a banquet in celebration of this glorious day.