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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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No 8 year old boy would be safe!!!
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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He would probably create giant green penises with the ring. Not to mention wipe out certain minorities...
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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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I thought he WAS a giant green penis.....
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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Yeah, but then again, aren't we all?
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[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
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Quote:
Ultimate Jaburg53 said: I thought he WAS a giant green penis.....
Actually, most of the time it's a flaccid green penis... That is, until the new line of green lanterns built by Viagra were released. 
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Son of Mxy said: Great. The most powerful weapon in the universe given out just like that. What if the first person Ganthet found was Chris Oakley?
He would send all the black people back to outer space where they came from.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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10000+ posts
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I'm Not Mister Mxypltk said: He wasn't a choice, he was the first guy Ganthet bumped into, and that's the whole point of the character. Ganthet says "You'll do" and not "I've found the chosen one!". He isn't perfect like the rest.
Ok....but don't you see how ridiculous that is?
He didn't need to be perfect, but when you're given the responsibility of protecting the galaxy with a weapon so powerful it could level planets........shouldn't there be standards?
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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What's the fun in everything going well all the time? Why can't it go horribly wrong, to the extent of having a regular guy have a responsability like that and have him constantly fuck up and actually learn how to be a superhero instead of getting there in two seconds after getting his powers like Hal and Scott in their original versions?
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2000+ posts
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You're all anal!  Kneel before ZOD! 
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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I think Kyle is just too bland. If we're going to fuck up the selection process, why not go hogwild? Give the ring to a KKK clan leader, or give it to Osama Bin Laden. Or give it to Richard Simmons.
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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I think we covered racism, terrorism and gayness when we talked about Chris Oakley getting the ring.
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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So, the general concensus is that Chris Oakley should be Green Lantern?
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Chris Oakley should be Black Lightning. The irony and comedy gold is off the charts!!!
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Chris Oakley, Powerman. Brotha!
My nipples are getting hard just imagining Chris Oakley in the powerman outfit.
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Joined: Oct 2001
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10000+ posts
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I sense a photoshopped picture shall appear shortly...
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Quote:
I'm Not Mister Mxypltk said: What's the fun in everything going well all the time? Why can't it go horribly wrong
You mean...like Hal going insane and wiping out the Green Lantern corp?
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to the extent of having a regular guy have a responsability like that and have him constantly fuck up and actually learn how to be a superhero instead of getting there in two seconds after getting his powers like Hal and Scott in their original versions?
If you were hiring a bodyguard...would you rather have some random Joe Schmoe with no skills in that area...or would you rather have someone actually qualified to be a bodyguard? I'm fine with the whole "struggling hero" thing in comics..but use it where it's applicable, like with Wally becoming the Flash.
In a way, you're right that my problem was how he was handled. If he was used just as a punchline, like the aforementioned Guy Gardner and G'Nort, I'd be fine with it...but instead writers like Judd Winnick try to pass him off as some savior, a Neo-like figure. Not only is that uncreative, it's lame.
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Quote:
Animalman said:You mean...like Hal going insane and wiping out the Green Lantern corp?
Exactly like that.
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If you were hiring a bodyguard...would you rather have some random Joe Schmoe with no skills in that area...or would you rather have someone actually qualified to be a bodyguard? I'm fine with the whole "struggling hero" thing in comics..but use it where it's applicable, like with Wally becoming the Flash.
If I was hiring a bodyguard, I'd go with someone like Hal. If I was writing a story about a bodyguard, one of the possibilities would be Kyle, because it would be out of the oridinary. In superheroes, the ordinary is having a perfect guy, like Hal and Alan, fight villains without a problem and become the best in what they are in a second. Kyle is out of the ordinary, because he was one of the few heroes out there who wasn't qualified at all to be a superhero when he started. What happens? He fucks up constantly. His girlfriend gets murdered because of who he is, he willingly gives his ring to Parallax, he blows up a planet, he gets a horrible crab stuck in his face... If anything, I would have liked to see Kyle fuck up more often. But still, the way Ron Marz had him start learning how to be a good hero (see "Capital Punishment", "Parallax View" and "Trial of Fire") was quite nice until it was interrupted by DC's need to keep him a newbie (which is why Judd Winnick's take made no sense at all).
Quote:
In a way, you're right that my problem was how he was handled. If he was used just as a punchline, like the aforementioned Guy Gardner and G'Nort, I'd be fine with it...but instead writers like Judd Winnick try to pass him off as some savior, a Neo-like figure. Not only is that uncreative, it's lame.
I agree that Winnick's take is lame, but we also have writers like Ron Marz and Grant Morrison who used the real potential in him.
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Grant Morrison did what he could with the character, but it's not as if he became magically interesting simply because a good writer had control of him. If anything, Morrison just showed how completely out of place he was in the JLA. Apporpriate, and about as good as could be expected, but I still wouldn't say it justified the character's existence. As I said, the struggling hero thing is fine when it's used in the right situation, like with Wally as the Flash. Superheroes don't have to be perfect, because most superheroes aren't "chosen", they're either the end result of a cosmic coincidence, or born into a family tradition of superheroism. Green Lantern is different, though, because the Green Lanterns are hand-picked because their specific talents make them the perfect candidates to protect people. Sometimes it can go wrong anyway(like with Hal), but not because the guy picked was a flat out poor choice.
Ron Marz just isn't a good writer. Period. Some interesting ideas, and, to his credit, he did take a few risks with the title that most other comic book writers probably wouldn't have...but in the end, he was simply a poor storyline executor, so it all became moot.
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Grant Morrison has said that he's more interested in Kyle than in any "classic" GL (or maybe it was Silver Age characters? I'm not sure), and it shows in his writing in JLA. He's out of place in the team, which is why he fits in so nicely in the book. Kyle was already interesting when Morrie picked him up, and Morrie made him even more interesting through team interaction. Kyle being picked out from the street was a poor choice in the traditional sense, and certanly a poor choice for the universe he's supposed to protect, but as a story, it's an interesting choice and, along with Emerald Twilight, the most interesting thing to happen in the book since GL/GA in the 70's.
Ron Marz screwed up in the first four or so Kyle issues. Maybe he was drained from having to write Emerald Twilight so quickly, but the fact is that he didn't execute what was an excellent idea very well: the concept was to set a status quo with Kyle and his on-off girlfriend/semi-sidekick Alex fighting crime in California, and then fuck up the quo by having Alex killed because Kyle is GL, and have Kyle move to NY. He failed in making the story interesting and making the concept clear. However, after that the book had quite a nice moment, with Kyle actually learning and developing relationships with the rest of the DCU, including Hal. The first space adventure, the first meeting with a super team, a long series of fuck ups (the more I think about it, the more fuck ups I find, and these are obviously intentional on Marz's part)... these are things you don't see in other books, because they just magically happen from one moment to the other. If anything, they're shown as lame retroactive "Year One" type stories set in gray areas of the character's past.
I can understand why most GL fans didn't like Marz's run: the book had nothing to do with the Green Lantern concept. It was a book about the superhero world and the making of a superhero from scratch.
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Quote:
I'm Not Mister Mxypltk said: Grant Morrison has said that he's more interested in Kyle than in any "classic" GL (or maybe it was Silver Age characters? I'm not sure), and it shows in his writing in JLA. He's out of place in the team, which is why he fits in so nicely in the book. Kyle was already interesting when Morrie picked him up, and Morrie made him even more interesting through team interaction.
I would disagree with the last statement, but I do understand fully why Kyle Rayner would be interesting for any writer of JLA -- like the Post-Crisis Wally West, he's got a different personality than the old-timers. One thing any team book writer wants to do is establish individual personalities for each of the characters. Hal Jordan (or Alan Scott) would not have been as interesting in a team book simply because their personalities are so similar to Superman and other classic heroes of his mold, such as the Barry Allen Flash (who really was dry as toast -- I can't understand why anyone would want to bring him back. The greatest thing that he -- like the Kara Zor-El Supergirl -- did was get a great death scene).
The main GL book with Kyle Rayner was really boring, though. It was pretty bad before EMERALD TWILIGHT, of course, but it did not improve after Kyle Rayner became Green Lantern. Unlike the expectations the developments brought up for the reader, it ended up being extremely repetitive. I quit reading it sometime before the 100th issue.
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Millenium hand and shrimp!
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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OK, I hope this is a farce to build interest. I have no problem with Kyle...I didn't like the bizarre Hal treatment, but I certainly don't hate Kyle..it's a tradition as a Green Lantern.new ones are chosen all the time. But Jack Black? That is really just stupid because a serious green lantern movie could be even better than spider-Man is as a movie. Plus green Lantern has a built in audience of 20 and 30-somethings who remember him from the Superfriends.
Warner bros has brain cramps when it comes to their heroes...Marvel took risk when they made the director/producer of Evil dead and Hercules the director for their characetr , but he was faithful.....How faithful is jack black?...shudder.
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Goddess of the Universe 200+ posts
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Quote:
Pig Iron said:
Green Lantern has a built in audience of 20 and 30-somethings who remember him from the Superfriends.
This is true.
Quote:
Warner bros has brain cramps when it comes to their heroes...Marvel took risk when they made the director/producer of Evil dead and Hercules the director for their characetr, but he was faithful.....How faithful is jack black?...shudder.
Pig Iron, Sam Raimi is an admitted Spidey fan. A HUGE Spidey fan. He wasn't going to be satisfied with something that wasn't, at least, mostly faithful to the source material.
I can even forgive the "organic webshooters" (i.e., spinnerets) bit. At least they weren't in his butt, like a real spiders are.
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They picked a comedian for the 89 batman...
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Keaton had already been doing serious dramatic work by that time, tough. I'm a Jack Black fan, but this isn't meshing all that well with what I think would make a good Green Lantern film. Warners is really screwing themselves over by not allowing DC more input on the productions. As far as Kyle goes, he's just what Hal was back in the 50's. It's a restarting of the GL mythology. Hal started a more sci-fi flavor with the Corps and space adventures. I think Emerald Twilight was meant to give Kyle a clean slate as well. And, really, he's been no worse written that Hal had been over the years. No Lantern was ever perfect, so I don't see why all the Hal fans (who had been noticeably missing for some time prior to him going insane) give the character such shit over not being the perfect GL. And it's nice to have change every once in a while. Unless it's a mullet or Electric Blue Superman. 
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Actually, the more I think about this, the more I like the idea.
Assume Kevin Bacon or Michael Ironside plays Hal Jordan, a former Air Force test pilot, a man of guts and glory, injured in the line of duty as Green Lantern, possibly in fighing Sinestro. His ring, for reasons not apparent, picks out a replacement - Guy Gardner (Jack Black).
So you have Gardner goofing off with the ring, creating giant green boobies, green kegs of beer, green lesbian porn, green cloud-sized farts: Jordan the hard man in a hospital bed trying to tell Gardner how to patrol his section of the galaxy and prevent suns exploding and other cosmic disasters: a rogue Lantern - Sinestro (a grotesque alien in disguise as a human - played by Salma Hayek?) - out to finish the job of killing Jordan and Gardner.
I'd at least think about watching it.
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MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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