Sammitch over Urg
Flaming Tables
Hardcore Porn Title The former lightweight champion started the mindgames early, as Meeko began distracting the caveman as soon as he entered the ring. Sammitch struck from behind with the Staff Meeting, eventually breaking the staff over Urg's cranium. This had little effect on the caveman as he turned around and nailed Sammitch with repeated chokeslams. At times, it seemed as if Urg's long Hardcore reign could continue unchallenged, but Sammitch continually bounced back, nailing several of his signature maneuvers on the seven foot monster.
At one point, Sammitch trapped Urg in the Sammitch submission for several moments, but the caveman not only refused to submit, but actually powered out of the move, flinging Sammitch across the ring and into the ref, knocking him out!
It was at this point, that the hardcore champ actually lit one of the ringside tables on fire and tossed Sammitch through it with a devastating powerbomb! But the referee was still unconscious and did not see this!
Meeko, once again, jumped up on the ring apron and distracted the cavemen by blowing kisses at him. As Urg wandered over to her, Sammitch set up the remaining table and lit it on fire. Attacking Urg from behind with a low blow, Sammitch followed up with a Sammitch Suplex, smashing the cavemen through the flaming table. Meeko revived the referee, who raised Sammitch's hand and awarded him the title!
Legbreakererses 4 Hire over
Team GOP and Liberal Conspiracy
Triple Threat Elimination Tag All three teams had a score to settle in this match, as they went at it with wild abandon, tagging in and out, repeatedly. At one point, Winged Creature and Stupid Dogg were both tagged in at the same time and had to face each other. They quickly tagged out, however, and the match continued.
Things went bad for the Conspiracy early on, as their manager, the Insane Liberal, was pulled into the ring and trounced by the G-Man and Dave The Wonder Boy. The ref then ordered the beaten down manager to the back.
The Conspiracy fell quick without their leader's guidance as Jim Jackson fell victim to the Legbreakererses trademark double team moves and was pinned by both men.
This left two teams in the ring to battle it out, as Team GOP went on the offensive, using their technical knowledge and submission maneuvers to try and weaken their adversaries. The mercenaries turned the tide, however, when Stupid Dogg bashed DaveTWB in the back of the head with a crowbar he found under the ring, allowing Winged Creature to score the pinfall.
With this win, no doubt the Legbreakererses are quickly moving into tag title contention!
Son of Mxy over PenWing
Lightweight Faggot Title As SoM paraded around the ring, showing off the newly designed Lightweight title, PenWing strode up behind the champion, nailing him(?) with a Gordie Howe elbow to the jaw!
As the bell rang, Pennie went for a British Columbia Two-Hander, clobbering the champ with his hockey stick!
Fat Retard: "Shot to the sternum! Buhgawd!"
Pennie then ascended the top rope, going for the High Holy Howe and attempting to finish off the champ early and walk out with the gold! But, SoM rolled away at the last moment, and Pennie hit the mat hard!
SoM then blasted Pennie with several high flying maneuvers, including a missile dropkick and an Apocalypse takedown!
Fat Retard: "BUHGAWD!!! BUHGAWD!!!!"
Madman: "Stop flinging barbecue sauce all over the place, dammit!"
LLarry LLawler: "Mmmm! Needs a little spice!"
Fat Retard: "BUHGAWD!!!!!!!!!!!"
SoM then trapped Pennie in the DEVASTATING Everyone Must Die wristlock submission for the tapout win.
