Now
The elevator door opened and Phil stepped out into the lobby. A valet met him there and led him to one of the hotel's conference rooms. The engraved teak-paneled door swung open noiselessly and Phil entered, taking note of the three individuals in expensive-looking suits seated at the far end of the table.
"Mr. Smith," the apparent leader greeted him. "Augustus von Brown... although you might know that already." He smiled. "Or do you?" The fortyish man shrugged. "No matter, really. I've often wondered why you insist on maintaining this silly 'man of mystery' charade."
"Here to make small talk?" the telepath asked, hesitant to sit down. "Or did you have something to tell me?"
The other man, a younger-looking one with dark hair, tensed visibly. Phil merely looked his way and smirked, which did little to defuse the situation.
Von Brown laughed. "It appears someone enjoys living dangerously. Mr. Mullarney here doesn't take kindly to those who address us as equals. I, of course, am old enough to know that some of the most interesting individuals are those who rarely tell you what you want to hear." He leaned forward. "You've probably been told that we're from the United Nations. We are here on what you might consider a diplomatic visit. You see, while we are... content with having you and your associates contained on this island, we want to express that we truly mean you no ill will."
Phil feigned relief as he sat down. "That's good to hear. After all, we can't have the UN harboring resentment toward us, especially when... there's... you know... no reason you should. But yeah. Good to know."
"We know what you did in New York, Mr. Smith," the woman on von Brown's other side chimed in with a stern glare. "Even though the CIA had your criminal record expunged, we're well aware of what you're capable of. The UN and most of the major world governments that know of your existence consider you one of the most dangerous men alive today."
Phil raised an eyebrow. "Because I killed a bunch of kidnappers and murderers or because I played a minor role in my 'associates' fighting off an alien invasion? No matter what that pissant Merlin and his spin doctors tell you, this team has committed zero acts of terrorism. Zip. Zilch. Nothin'. You and whatever governments feel like it can consider me whatever you want." Phil leaned back in his chair. "So... why are you really here?"
Von Brown cleared his throat, unfazed. "I've told you that. Regardless of your past deeds, Mr. Smith, we are offering you and this 'team' of yours a significantly commuted sentence. I told Mr. Cicciotto the same thing I'm telling you now. As long as you and the others stay here, in this nation, and mind your own business, we will leave you all in peace."
"I take it he didn't really react warmly to your thinly-veiled threat," Smith mused with a smirk. "What makes you think I will?"
Von Brown nodded to Mullarney, who set a Samsonite briefcase on the table and opened it to reveal rows of American bills in bankrolls, his expression one of disgust.
"We are prepared to offer you a token of our good will," von Brown stated calmly. "I am a rather pragmatic man myself, and so are many who I represent. We know that you are a very resourceful individual, and one we would much rather have as an ally than as even a potential adversary. We have benefited from the work of the various Strikeforce teams Merlin has assembled, but we would prefer to have other options available when problems arise. Perhaps individual... consultants, if you will." Von Brown leaned forward. "We are prepared to compensate you quite well for being just such a consultant. We would have many opportunities to make use of your abilities in... operations of a military and/or clandestine nature."
"Let me get this straight," Phil said, on the verge of laughter. "You want me to work for the same people that have made my life and the lives of my friends a living Hell?"
"We're prepared to... to offer an... impressive sum for your... cooperation, Mr. Smith," Mullarney said, red-faced, the words seemingly prying themselves from his lips.
"It's a lot of money, Mr. Smith," Koester agreed. "And no more trouble from us. Isn't that what you want?"
"Money's helpful for things," Phil conceded. "I assume this offer would extend to my aforementioned 'associates', of course."
The three looked at one another, baffled. Mullarney spoke first. "Are you... serious?" he choked.
"No, Mr. Smith," von Brown explained, holding up a hand. "We have no use for them. We're making this offer exclusively to you." He smiled and leaned back. "With what we're offering you, I believe you will find in time that you have very little use for them yourself."
Von Brown paused. Mullarney and Koester saw his expression and exchanged quizzical glances.
Phil stood up slowly, smiling. "Since you put it that way," he began as he made his way over to the briefcase.
Mullarney and Koester leaned forward expectantly.
The lights dimmed momentarily before the briefcase full of money burst into flames, sending a small fireball toward the ceiling and singeing Mullarney's eyebrows. He and Koester jumped back, terrified.
Phil Smith stood there with his arms crossed and a smug expression on his face. "I'm not sure why out of all the people you could have tried to buy off, you picked me." He pointed at the still-smoldering briefcase. "Did you know that I have more than that in my casual spending account?" Phil looked at von Brown, who sat there, not looking very surprised but not particularly pleased either. "Did you honestly think I would sell out my friends and become your yes man for money?"
"I didn't imagine you would," von Brown said, "but I doubted we could reach any other sort of understanding. It appears we are at an impasse. We can't convince you to cooperate with us, and you haven't offered us anything to make us reconsider confining you and your associates to this island."
"You want an understanding?" Phil asked, leaning forward over the table. "Check this out. You won't have any trouble from us as long as you leave us the hell alone. None of us did anything to deserve having the world hate us. I had no reason to cause trouble with the UN before you walked in here. You would all be wise not to give me any more reasons."
"Mr. Smith," von Brown began, "I would advise against-"
"No need," Phil interrupted. "I haven't caused any trouble with any of you before, and as long as the UN stays out of our way I don't intend to. You claim to know what I'm capable of. I could very easily have killed all three of you, right here, right now, and gotten away with it. Yet I didn't. Why would you pull something like this and try to buy me off? If you'd try not being so suspicious of us because of what we are and trust that we don't want to harm anyone, we could all save ourselves a lot of trouble." He nodded toward the briefcase. "And you could have saved yourselves a good amount of money, too." Phil nodded toward the furious Mullarney. "You might wanna clean that up. The staff here doesn't take kindly to littering."
And with that, he was gone, leaving three rather displeased UN executives to write up their situation reports.
