While YOU, on the other hand, are doing everything you can to defuse it, right?

Chris, you're as guilty as anyone else for the "trauma" that is inflicted on you here. Your responses are lame at best, and fuel their volleys. Your inabilty to grasp personal responsibility leads you to make comments that are inane or completely offensive. I gotta wonder if, had you either ignored the comments or responded to them the way I respond to Nowhereman's shots on me (with witty retorts or SELF-EFFACING HUMOR - a concept that's alien to you), you might never find yourself in the situation you're in. How's about, instead of whining "poor me, poor me, I'm a victim", you ignore their posts (go to their profile and click on "ignore this user")? Or take a sense of humor about them, since you'd NEVER ignore the attention. Or leave altogether?
Do whatever you want. Like I said, I think you like the attention...