He's not such a bad guy! I remember when he dropped me on my head when I was born and split my skull open, he was kind enough to douse the wound in his expensive imported vodka and wipe the blood away with my old diaper. And when Joe's boyfriend left him, dad spent the next couple nights with him so he wouldn't feel so lonely! And when Pedro came into town dad bought his whole suitcase of cocaine from him so his children wouldn't lose anymore fingers to the crime lords! Of course it was only Monopoly money, and it caused the death of Pedro's whole family, but dad meant right by it! And when dad sometimes dresses as Christine to make me feel like I have a mommy, he even tucks his peepee between his legs! so guys, see? Dad's not so bad.
