Elsewhere... The Narrator: A huge crowd of Evil-Postal-Worker-Minion-Types fills the square the of the Postmaster General of the Royal Postal Service of Chantania.
At the top of the stairs leading to the entrance a Postmaster Captain is holding up Postal uniform and a mailbag whilst chanting
Postmaster Captain: In the name of CHANT!
The Narrator: The crowd of Evil-Postal-Worker-Minion-Types responds...
EPWMT crowd: CHANT LIVES IN DEATH!
The Narrator: Thus it continues until suddenly...
Postmaster Captain: In the name of CHANT!
Unknown figure: Chant.....LIVES!!!
The Narrator: Chant steps out of the shadows and into the light like a Messiah reborn. A hushed silence falls over the crowd, though small whispers can be heard everywhere.
Chant steps up to the Postmaster Captain and claims the uniform and the mailbag from him. After donning the uniform he steps to the front of the staircase and raises his arms to roar of approval.
Chant: Friends, Chantanians, POSTAL WORKERS!!!
The Narrator: The crowd explodes into a frenzy whilst chanting...CHANT, CHANT, CHANT, CHANT...
Chant calls for silence, and when the square is utterly quiet he continues!
Chant: My friends, a new dawn of Postal service is upons us! NO more shall we toil under the ungrateful stress forced upon us by spiteful people. No longer shall we tolerate dog-bites and icy sidewalks! And no longer shall we tolerate the low, low, low wages given to us for our toils!
The Narrator: A frenzied roar erupts from the crowd, even bigger than the last roar.
Chant: We shall FORCE our demands upon the world, we shall bring them to their knees!
We shall deliver mail days late! We shall deliver the mail ruffled and badly handled! AND we shall deliver it to the WRONG adresses!
We shall charge them for insufficient stamping, both the sender AND the reciever!
The Narrator: The crowd erupts into a roar that makes the windows shiver and shatter all around!
Chant: My friends, I ask of you! What is Christmas without Christmas Mail?
The Narrator: The crowd stands puzzled and a buzzing of suggestions begin, stupid questions abound!
Chant: You imbeciles! Christmas without Christmas mail is NOTHING!
My friends, Christmas in cancelled!
The Narrator: The crowd steps back as a whole and a huge gasp echoes across the square
Chant: 
EPWMT Crowd: 
The Narrator: Slowly the crowd begins to cheer again!
Chant: But wait, there is more! As we all know my....OUR plans has time and again been foiled by the do-gooders known as...The JLR!!!
EPWMT Crowd: 
Chant: BUT FEAR NOT!! For I have a secret weapon which will spread chaos and confusion amongst their ranks!
I present to you...THE SWITCHER!!!
EPWMT Crowd: 
what is the switcher? Is Chant really the Postmaster General? And can Christmas really be cancelled? Read more some other time!
