The zombie stirs.
Fused's arm hums.
Stupid Dogg's gun pressurizes.
A britannerang falls out of the zombie's pocket.
Wednesday [running into the room]: Wait! Is that who I think it is?
He turns the zombie-man on his back and takes his first good look at him.
Wednesday: Holy bartender, it's Britannica!!!!
JLR:
Wednesday: Look at his toes.
Both middle toes are twitching uncontrollably.
SpandexMonkeyMan: It's Brit. He's back
!
Registered Member 552: You remember him
?
SpandexMonkeyMan: No, but I remember that I like him a whole lot more than that other guy
!
Wednesday: I have the sneaking suspicion he's talking about me.
Centurian: So Britannica’s back?
The Time Trust: As--
Stupid Dogg: As a zombie
?
The Time Trust: Will you people stop stealing my lines
!!!
Stupid Dogg: Oh, sorry
.
SpandexMonkeyMan [hugging the returned hero]: All that matters is that our leader's back.
Wednesday: Hey! Wait a second--
Hybrid: That's true, I suppose.
Fused: Just like old times.
Stupid Dogg: So what’s our next move, Britannica?
Wednesday: Wait a second!
Hybrid: Oh, we’re sorry. Were you saying something, Wednesday?
Wednesday: Well, YEAH!
JLR: …
Wednesday: …
JLR: …
Wednesday: …
Hybrid: Okay, whenever you’re ready to tell us.
Wednesday: How’s he supposed to lead a group of superheroes?
Stupid Dogg: I don’t understand. What’re you getting at?
Wednesday: Am I the only one that realizes that Britannica’s a zombie? I mean, he’s a freaking zombie!
The Time Trust: But--
Wednesday: But nothing! How’s a zombie supposed to lead a group of superheroes?
Fused: He’s Britannica. He’ll be fine.
Registered Member 552: I agree.
Wednesday: You can’t agree! You have to actually remember Britannica to agree!
Registered Member 552: I’m just saying…
Wednesday: What’re you people? Nuts?
Fused: Says the guy who quit being a pimp to be a superhero
.
Wednesday: Okay, you know what? I say we vote on it.
SpandexMonkeyMan [still hugging the zombie-man]: Vote on what? There’s nothing to vote on.
Wednesday: Well, we still live in America, right?
The Time Trust : Well, technically I--
Wednesday: So technically, we should vote on something like this, right? So let’s vote. Who do you want as your leader, me or the walking undead?
The Time Trust: Are you--
Wednesday: Yes, I’m very sure. So raise your hand if you want me to continue to lead this team against the forces of evil.
Wednesday raises his hand high and looks around the room.
Cricket: *Chirp*
Wednesday: I don’t believe this
.
Hybrid: Raise your hand if you want Brit.
Everyone except Wednesday raises his hand. Even Registered Member 552, who was just going along with everyone else. Even the young girl, and all she knew was that Fused was raising his. And, of course, SMM raises two hands as high as they would go…
…plus Brit’s.
Wednesday: I just don’t believe it.
SpandexMonkeyMan [placing a zombie hand on Wednesday’s shoulder]: Don’t feel bad, Wednesday, just because you’ll never be half the leader Britannica was
.
Wednesday: Words hurt too, you know
.
SpandexMonkeyMan:
The Time Trust: So--
Hybrid: What do we do now, Brit?
The Time Trust:
Zombitannica: <Grunt>
Registered Member 552: What? You want us to eat the salsa?
Zombitannica: <Grunt>
Young Girl: What? You want to know if Fused has a girlfriend?
Zombitannica: <Grunt>
Wednesday: I don’t believe this. It’s like the mute leading the chronically stupid.
Zombitannica: <Grunt>
Hybrid: Maybe he wants us to do something about Chant?
Young Girl [jumping back in horror]: You work for Chant?
Centurian: No, it’s not like that. We don’t work
for Chant--
Centurian reaches for her, in hopes of calming her down.
Young Girl [her hands glowing]: No, don’t touch me!
The young girl throws a fire bolt that propels Centurian’s barbarian body back against the wall.
Registered Member 552: Whoa.
Young Girl: He won’t use me to build that machine of his! Never!
Her hands begin to glow brighter than before, enveloping the room in a jade light.
Wednesday: Not this again.
To be continued…
