As the last Mail Droid whirled and turned, watching the JLR attempt to find cover or muster up an offensive, a sound chimed from somewhere. Ding dong!
The JLR slowed to a halt and looked past the Mail Droid, which also turned to look at the front door. It chimed again. Ding Dong!
The Mail Droid tilted its head in cute robot confusion (much like that puppy look when it sees a TV or something like that for the first time... ya know?). Ding Dong!
Finally, the door creaked open on it's own and a man stepped through. "Anybody home?" He stood roughly 5'10" and appeared to be a mostly unimpressive 175 lbs. He WAS wearing a neat pair of sunglasses, though.
The Mail Droid whirled and moved to attack but the man closed the door. The Droid stopped again and the JLR all glanced out from behind their respective covers. From outside they heard some banging... followed by the sound of wood being sawed.... then some more banging... with a little glass breaking thrown in for good measure...
The door swung back open and the man returned. This time he looked exactly the same as during his first entrance but this time, he had a pipe. He charged the Mail Droid, which, if it were possible, would have wet its pants. But since the Mail Droid had neither pants (they were actually stylish shorts) nor a bladder, he just sorta electro-whimpered a la R2-D2.
"With the proportionate strength of a human and uh... this pipe I found laying outside in the street... which, if you think about, is a little dangerous, I shall destroy this robot!"
And he did.
Rather well, in fact, with lots of clanging, metal on metal scraping (which caused some to cover their ears and clench their teeth), until finally the man stood above the smote ruin of the final Mail Droid, holding a bent pipe, which he promptly and triumphantly tossed into the pile of dead droid.
Slowly, the JLR pulled themselves from their hiding pla- *cough* I mean, COVER, and assembled in front of the newcomer.
Wednesday was the first to ask the obvious, "Um, not that we don't appreciate it but... who are you?"
"I am Kaz, the Human Dude," as if it were completely obvious...
"Right, of course... what are you doing here?"
"I'm here on behalf of Sups for Hire!. Um, their exclamation mark... not mine. I'm not really excited about... I mean, not like they are." Kaz helpfully handed a business card to Wednesday who looked it over. From behind him, the entire JLR peaked up and over his shoulders to read the card as well.
"I don't remember..."
"That was me," Fused interrupted as he (and the defenseless and innocent young girl) pulled himself from the floor with a groan. The entire JLR looked at him with a quizical gaze. "Well, you know how much I've been complaining since Cowgirl Jack left that we don't have any female members. So, I placed an order with Supsforhire.com. But you're supposed to be Czech... and smoking hot."
"Then-" TTT began to say.... but instead Ace piped up, "Then why is he... a dude?"
"Actually," Kaz broke in, bringing the attention of the JLR back to him. "You placed an order for a male member. I have the invoice here." Kaz whipped out the invoice and held it aloft for the JLR to see that, in fact, Fused had placed the order for the male member.
"Oh... I thought that was asking for MY sex... heh... Well, we all make mistakes, right?"
The JLR answered him with blank stares. Finally, SMM broke the silence, "What do you think, Brit? Should we-"
Zombitanica merely groaned and smelled suspiciously of roadkill. Wednesday handed the business card back to Kaz and asked, "Do you have... credentials?"
Kaz let a huge smile split his face for a moment before it disappeared completely. "Of course! I've worked with World Hero, Hero of the World (that was up in Pittsburgh), Fishnet Lad and Bryan."
"Bryan?" Hybrid had managed to get back to consciousness.
"Yes, Bryan. What... you guys have never heard of Bryan?"
Wednesday shook his head. "Okay, we don't have time for this! Chant's up to something and he's attacked us on our own turf. We need to-"
"I'm sorry," Kaz said with a polite wave of his hand. "I am kind of new to this but... uh... who the #@%&* is Chant?"
