The bubbles pop and burst, growing in frequency. All eyes are fixed upon the growing doom. Fear fills the heart of every man (woman) and SpandexMonkeyMan present. Thunder crackles (despite the lack of clouds) and lightning streaks the sky. And then a horrible, blasting sonic screech pierces the air. Sweat pours down the spines, hairs stand on end, and teeth are gnashed in terror. And finally, Larry moves over and rescues the fries from further burning grease pain and anguish.
A collective sigh sounds through the hallowed halls of the great Dairy Queen.
Chant (as Darren): Now, BACK TO THE PIE! Thanks alot, you bags, you've gone and busted my portal. Now I have FLY to Dairy Queen!
Kaz (as SMM): Excuse me!
Chant (as Darren): Eh? What?!
Kaz (as SMM): Over here. The one with the erection. The one that's totally gay for you. Yeah, me.
SMM (as Kaz): Cut that out! I'll totally rip your arms off!
Kaz (as SMM): From this body? Probably wouldn't make much of a difference.
Chant (as Darren): Okay, okay! I know which one you are!
Kaz (as SMM): Can you switch us back?
Brittanica (as Midnight Spectre 2.0) *whispering to Ace (as Fused)*: Do something, Ace.
Ace (as Fused) *whispers back*: Have no idea how this stuff works! *holds his cybernetic arm up uselessly*
Kaz (as SMM): I mean, maybe a couple of us at least? Look, in return, I won't kick your ass so bad, okay, you mamby-pamby creme-soda lovin' babysiiter!
Chant (as Darren): I'll unleash my MailBots of Doom! I'll slaughter all of you where you stand!
Kaz (as SMM): Yeah... see.... about that...
Chant (as Darren): What? What is it?
Hybrid (as Doog): I mean, if we're gonna go down fighting. We'd like to at least do it in our own bodies.
Chant (as Darren): What?.... You're missing the genius of my plan, here. Why do you think I switched your bodies?!?!
Brit (as Midnight Spectre 2.0): Okay, Fused, you do something!
Fused (as Ace): Okay! Here goes..... *concentrates, tying to find the part of Ace's body that would allow him to tap into Ace's amazing abilities* Alright!
Centurion (as Jade): Why do you
do anything? Oh my god! I can't get over how different my voice sounds! And that I have a vagina! I mean, this is awesome... I've never even seen one before!
Chant (as Darren): Again, you guys are completely missing the brilliance.
Centurion (as Jade): Who's got a mirror?!?!
Fused (as Ace): Okay... Here goes! *everyone turns to Fused (as Ace), who flips up the collar on Ace's jacket, seemes to move without moving {with motion-lines and EVERYTHING!}, and suddenly (and quite arrogantly) drops into the the coolest #!%$in' pose ever, mother$%#$ers* Your card
is ... 7 of diamonds!
Chant {as Darren): What??? I haven't picked a card, you mook!
Fused (as Ace): *still looking cool as hell* ... Jack a Spades?
Ace (as Fused): *slaps forehead*
Chant (as Darren): My one moment of victory, and instead of being in anguish over the switches, you bags are just goofing off!!
Kaz (as SMM): Actually, that was the whole basis of my-
Jade (as Centurion): What's this? *pulls hand out of Centurion's pocket*
Centurion (as Jade): Oh... *coughs nervously* those... aren't mine. I was holding them for a friend! Honest!
Brittanica (as Midnight Spectre 2.0): *looks around nervously, finally his vision falls on Midnight Spectre 2.0 as himself, in the undead body* Midnight! It's up to you!
Midnight Spectre 2.0 (as Brittanica): [What Midnight thinks he says:] It's good to be working with the JLR again. My life as Brian has seen too many downturns lately...rejected by fans, shunned by friends, mistrusted even by the few who do know my secret. Despite it all, I can only think of my mother, who is now in a similar place I was just a month ago. If she doesn't emerge from her gradual state of deterioration...
[What everyone hears:] UHHHHHHHHHH MMEEEEEERRRRR UNG!!!
Jade (as Centurion): What are these? *she drops the dice.... they roll to a stop, revealing the numbers 1 and 2*
12 - Gerard de Rapierwitte, Human, Fighter: Swashbuckler{Smoke rises and ethereal magicky stuff oozes from the thin air, and from the plane of D&D heroes, comes Gerard.}
Gerard: What ze bloody 'ell eez going on here? *conciously smoothes back his pencil-thin, handle-bar mustache*
Chant (as Darren): Wow... You've got new members popping up out of the pavement now, do you? Who is this one?
Jade (as Centurion ((as Gerard de Rapierwitt))): Attack him! Attack the one in the postal uniform!
Gerard: What eez diz postal, womAHn? Show yerzelf!
Jade (as Centurion ((as Gerard de Rapierwitt))): I'm in another... Plain.
Centurion (as Jade): Plane, actually.
Stupid Doog (as Hybrid): Gawd... no wonder you've never seen a vagina before.
Jade (as Centurion ((as Gerard de Rapierwitt))): Okay... whatever! Listen, old man.
Gerard: I eez not an old mAhn! I am zirty yirs young, mon sheri! Do you not recognize ze face of Gerard de Rapierwitte!
Fused (as Ace): You've yet to say anything remotely funny.
Ace (as Fused): You don't even sound French.
Gerard: What is ze dis "French" you speak of?
Chant (as Darren): Can we get back to my kicking of your asses?
Kaz (as SMM): Hey, kid... do you got any powers I can use?
SMM (as Kaz): I have no idea. The switcher stole my powers.
Kaz (as SMM): Okay, I'll work with what I have. *much like Fused (as Ace) but with much less coolness, Kaz (as SMM) concentrates, trying to find the link that would allow him to control SMM's meta-proficiencies*
Chant (As Darren): Is this all you've got, JLR!?? I laugh at your inferiority!
{Suddenly, there was the smell of Funky Munky Ice Cream and smoke the color of bananas, straight from the forests of Brazil, and in the wake, Kaz (as SMM) has metamorphozed into a short feral-looking monkey.}
Kaz (as SMM): OOK OOK ACK EEK!!! Wow.... Man! Not exactly the best of powers....
SMM (as Kaz): Oh sure... it can't beat "proportionate strength of a human."
Chant (as Darren): That's it! I've reached the end of my patience!
Gerard: Zen make your move, Postal!
Chant (as Darren) begins launching brown packages around the the resturant, blowing members of the JLR and Denise (who was fixing a Chocolate Genocide Blizzard for Brit (as Midnight Spectre 2.0)) around the headquarters of Hot Eats! Cool Treats!
Fused (as Ace) and Ace (as Fused) both dive behind the counter where Denise (sans braces, since she had gotten those taken off last month) was recovering.
Kaz (as SMM) leaps into the air, and using his prehensive tail he grabs a hanging light fixture, and using his newfound stretching meta-faculties, he reaches his arms down and grabs Chant's wrists.
Chant (as Darren): A stretching monkey?
SMM (as Kaz): Who woulda thunk it?
Kaz (as SMM) stretches his spandex-monkey body into the form of a blanket and wraps his body around Chant, completely smothering him. The two wrestle on the tile floor of the Dairy Queen. The two roll around causing further damage to the diner until Chant (as Darren) manages to force Kaz (as SMM) off him. Chant manages to get to his feet and Kaz (as SMM) remounts his attack, only to catch the swinging foot of Chant's (as Darren) kick to the face. The force sends him tumbling backwards, ultimately crashing into Gerad who had just begun to get his bearings. The two come to a halting crash on the other side of the counter from Fused (as Ace), Ace (as Fused) and Denise.
Chant looks over the finally defeated, deflated and ultimately confused JLR. He reaches into his mailbag and pulls forth the largest Buck Rogers Space Gun anyone had ever seen (except for Stupid Doog but that's a tale for another day). It looks impossibly huge a) for Chant to even hold up and b) to fit into his mailbag.
Chant (as Darren): Fools! Did you think that the Switcher was the only weapon I had?
He turns the gun and points it directly in the face of TTT (as Wednesday) who watches the barrel with crossed-eyes.
TTT (as Wednesday): What? I've just been standing here! What do you want from me?
Wednesday (as TTT): *sleepily comes to from his KO'ed status* Oh! Gotta point the gun at the BLACK man! Okay I see how it is!
