RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Havoc 11/10/04

Tag Match single choice

Captain of Outer Space/Notwedge (53%, 8 Votes)

Legbreakers 4 Hire (47%, 7 Votes)

Total Votes: 15 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 10:33 PM

Women's Division single choice

Butterrican (73%, 11 Votes)

Nuriko (27%, 4 Votes)

Total Votes: 15 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 10:33 PM

Heavyweight Division Match single choice

BSAMS (33%, 5 Votes)

King Snarf (67%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 15 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 10:33 PM

Lightweight Title Match single choice

Dave the Wonder Boy (27%, 4 Votes)

Son of Mxy (73%, 11 Votes)

Total Votes: 15 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 10:33 PM

Triple-Double Decker Cage Match: IC Title single choice

Rex (13%, 2 Votes)

Penwing (19%, 3 Votes)

Chris Oakely (25%, 4 Votes)

Captain Sammitch (13%, 2 Votes)

Wednesday (13%, 2 Votes)

URG (19%, 3 Votes)

Pariah (0%, 0 Votes)

JQ (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Votes: 16 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 10:33 PM

*"We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and PenWing walks out to the top of the ramp, the crowd cheering as he raises the Hardcore Porn Belt in his right hand, and his Sherwood in his left. He walks down down the ramp and enters the ring, placing his belt over his shoulder before taking the mic.*

A couple of weeks ago, Louie Bastardo approached me, and asked me to join his family.

*The crowd boos.*

He told me that he could make big things happen for me.

*The crowd boos a little louder.*

I told him...NO!

*The crowd cheers even louder than when PenWing made his entrance.*

Admit it, you all thought I told him yes. You can't help wondering what's going on in my head. You don't understand how I can continue to stand with Meeko and Sammitch, how I can continue to back them up when they won't let me in.

It comes down to one little word.

Trust.

I trust Meeko and Sammitch. And I trust them to be the future of the RDCW.

Louie Bastardo thinks he's the future? If he's the future, then how come his enforcer is the same whiny copycat whose ass I personally handed back to more times than I care to remember!?

*More cheers from the crowd.*

I've said it before, we are living in overtime. Sudden Death can occur at any moment. Tonight, the IC title is up for grabs in a Triple-Double Decker Cage Match. Both myself, and Captain Sammitch, have been invited to participate. I won't lie. I want that title. But some things are more important than championship gold...

Like kicking the High Holy Hell out of Chris Oakley and the Bastardo Family!

*The crowd roars.*

Oakers, before, you and I had bad blood. But now, joining up with someone who has no understanding of the words friendship, loyalty and trust, you've just painted a big target on your ass. Tonight, it doesn't matter so much who wins the IC belt, as who doesn't. Tonight, I will do everything in my power to make sure the Bastardo Family does not get that title. Tonight, Oakers, I'm going to lay the High Holy Howe on you!

*The crowd errupts in cheer as PenWing throws the mic down and snaps his Sherwood in two over his leg. His music hits and he heads up the ramp, giving the pieces of his stick to a couple of kids in the crowd as he exits.*

Penwing gets to the head of the ramp when his music fades out. From the back-area steps Joe Mama, wearing all three belts. He stops in front of Penwing, and the two have a verbal exchange. Penwing points to the Inter-Cunt-Inental belt as he speaks, then gestures around his waist. Joe smiles, nods, then responds. The two shake hands, then go their separate ways. Joe Mama heads ringside, grabs a mic, and enters the ring.

JM: I hope that all the competitors that The Doctor and I chose to compete for this Inter-Cunt-Inental Title have the same focus, intensity, and hunger that Penwing has!

The crowd cheers. A few chant "Penwing! Penwing!"

JM: I just hope it doesn't ruin the budding romance between him and his "partner". I'd hate to think I had a hand in ruining Penny and Sammy!

This comment gets some laughs. The crowd is hyped for the main event!

JM: I'm kidding...I'm kidding. Listen: Every wrestler in the Triple-Decker Cage Match is there for a reason. They've proven that they have what it takes to make a run for the gold. They have the respect for the RDCW and its fans that makes a champion. And, most importantly, they have my and The Doctor's respect. Every one of these guys...except for one.

Chris Oakley, the only reason you are in this match tonight is because your new "Daddy" whined and moaned to get you in it. You have proven nothing to anyone in the RDCW except that you are a cheap knock-off of your's truly and that you're smart enough to know that you need someone to interfere for you; otherwise you'll never win anything! You proved that last week when Louis Bastardo won you your match! But the match results stand, and you're listed as the "victor", so you're in this match. And, should you win, I will hand over this belt to you. But don't think for a second that our business is finished, or that you get a free pass by me. We WILL face each other again, boy! And I WILL deliver unto you the beating you so desperately are begging for!

But tonight won't be the night for revenge. Tonight belongs to eight great wrestlers who are set to win RDCW gold! And, to keep it fair and honest (I'd hate for someone to lose their chance due to outside interference!), I'll be at ringside for the match! This is DEFINITELY one that should be seen live!

Good luck, gentlemen! May the best man win!

No music. Just Joe Mama leaving the ring and heading back to the locker room. On the way, he sees most of the competitors and takes a moment to wish them luck. The only one he doesn't see in Chris Oakley...

Camera abruptly swings to the far end of the corridor, as we see Chris Oakley approaching JM with an almost homicidal glare in his eyes. Walking beside him is Louie J. Bastardo in a sequined green tuxedo that looks like a reject from a Bobby Heenan garage sale. Chris stops directly in front of JM and pokes a finger into his chest.

Let's get a few things straight right now, you pathetic loser. I didn't hire Louie because I need him to run interference . . . I hired him because of his brilliant strategic mind and because of his ability to recognize my true greatness, unlike you and most of the other idiots in RDCW. I think you have a concussion, or else you'd remember the ass-kicking I gave you and Mxy in last week's handicap match . . . . nothing felt sweeter than to drill your worthless hide through the canvas with the Green Monster for the 1-2-3. However, slamming Son of Mxy's skull into a steel chair with the Cape Cod Crunch comes in a very close second.

Camera zooms in on Louie J. Bastardo as he grins smugly, then pans back to Chris and JM.

What I did to you last week was just the beginning of a new era--not only am I going to win that double-decker IC title match tonight, but later on, I'm going to be at ringside to cheer King Snarf on as he takes the Heavyweight Cheese belt from BSAMS.

JM clenches his teeth and his fists; Chris slips a pair of brass knuckles on his own fists.

You want to start something, asswipe?

JM reluctantly backs up a step.

I didn't think so. (Briefly paces around the locker room.) As for the rest of you assholes, I will take great satisfaction in stomping your worthless carcasses into the ground . . . especially you, PenWing, you slimy little son of a bitch. The war between us hasn't ended, it's merely taken a pause. Tonight the final battle in that war is going to be fought, and I'm going to win it decisively.

Puts away the brass knuckles and high-fives Louie.

C'mon, Louie, let's get outta here. We have a match to prepare for and a title to win. See you in the cage, you overrated no-talent pieces of crap!

Chris and Louie turn around and strut back to the Bastardo Family locker room, leaving JM, JQ, Wednesday, PenWing, Captain Sammich, URG, Pariah, and Rex muttering angrily to each other about Chris' newfound arrogant attitude. Behind PenWing a few of the RDCW Divas can be seen frowning in disgust at Louie's retreating form. And as we go to commercial, Chris and Louie can be seen shaking hands with King Snarf, all three Bastardo Family members grinning like the proverbial cat that swallowed the canary.

Yes! I, King Snarf, have now beaten TWO former RDCW champions by making them tap out to the headlock!! Has TK-069 ever made anyone tap to a headlock? No. He uses his flashy, showy moves. Well, let me tell you, ANYONE can win with TK's moves. It takes a TRUE CHAMPION to win via headlock. And yet, I am still out of the running for the RDCW title. Luckily, Louie Bastardo's crack legal staff is pouring over the contracts, trying to find a legal loophole to allow me to compete for the title at Conniver Series!

Joe Mama makes his way to the announce table as the massive cage structure comes down to engulf the ring in unforgiving steel. Unlike most nights, Joe Mama is not in his ring gear - instead of blue jeans, steel-toed boots, and a Red Sox batting practice jersey (#15), he's in a pair of khaki slacks, a blue button-down shirt, a leather bomber jacket, and shoes. Gone is the baseball cap in favor of a nicely brushed hairstyle. The only belt he's carrying is the IC belt. He sits in between the Mouth and the Madman and puts on his headset.

JM: Gentlemen, it's good to see yez tonight.

Madman: Well, aren't you a handsome man! All doled up for the match? Maybe you'll get a date out of it?

JM: Sounds like you're soliciting me, Marcum.

Mouth: Seriously, champ. What's with the civilian clothes? And what was up with you seemingly backing down from Chris Oakley and Louie Bastardo?

Madman: I'll tell ya! Chris Oakley's got Joe's number and everyone knows it! Joe wants no piece of Chris after the beating he got a week ago! Of course he backed down tonight!!!

JM: Shows what kind of a moron you are, Marcum. Louie Bastardo bitched, moaned, and threatened Chris' way into this match. I don't know the details, but I do know the word "lawyers" was used. So Chris got in on this match. As for the backstage..."issue": it was a no-win situation. Either I beat the shit out of Chris in front of everyone, and Bastardo sics his legal team on the RDCW for "costing" Chris his "shot" at the title...or I get into a fight with him, get jumped by Bastardo and Queen Snarf, and possibly get injured for nothing. I've got no problem throwing down with a punk-bitch like Oakley, but I'm not gonna do it for nothing. So I decided to step aside, bide my time, and give Chris the beatdown he's been begging me for later, when it counts towards something.

Mouth: Makes sense.

Madman: You're scared, pretty-boy. Oakley's in your head.

One by one, the competitors make their way to the ring, each one with a passing comment to Joe Mama, who applauds them all. Chris Oakley makes his way to the ring, with Louie Bastardo in tow, and Joe's appause takes an almost sarcastic tone. The pair stand in front of the announce table, shooting their mouths off to the Eurotrash champ. Joe lets them run their mouths, then gestures to Chris to get in the ring. Chris does, leaving Louis to get a few more comments in. With all the competitors in the cage, the bell rings and the match starts.

The match starts, with elimination rules in place. JQ and Pariah are the first to go, barely making any mark in the match. As a matter of fact, no one notices who took them out or how.

The team of Captain Sammitch and Penwing attack Chris Oakley. The double-team is effective as the pair severely weaken the Bastardo enforcer and toss him out of the ring. Then they turn and start working on the former hardore champion, the caveman URG.

Rex, who ran down to the cage to avoid his "belle" (Christine Oakley), and relative newcomer Wednesday, exchange blows, holds, and near-pins. Brawling gives way to technical moves, and technical moves give way to brawling again.

Madman: Look at Rex and Wednesday! They're killing each other! I love this match!!!

JM: Those were the first two who came to mind when this match was set up. Rex, I know from experience, is a tough customer - his time with the Oakleys has only made him a better, more brutal, competitor. And Wednesday is just showing how good he's always been. They're my personal favorites to win the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title.

Mouth: What's Chris doing???

While the match goes on, Chris Oakley is lying outside the ring, between the ring itself and the cage. Bastardo is by his side (cage between them), seemingly giving advice. Something appears to pass from manager to protegee, then another thing. Chris continues to "catch his breath".

Mouth: What did that sonavabitch Louie just give to Chris???

Madman: Nothing, Monroe! Just some friendly managerial advice!

JM: We'll see...

The ring is in chaos! Rex, Wednesday, Sammitch, and Penwing are now battling each other! URG uses the chaos as his cover, grabs Wednesday, and bludgeons him into the ring corners before delivering a powerslam. The cover, and Wednesday is eliminated. Sammitch and Penwing deliver a double-team finisher to Rex, then cover him for the elimination. URG grabs Penwing and throws him over the ropes and into the cage itself! The whole cage shakes with the impact, and Penwing slides to the floor.

Chris Oakley is crawling into the ring.

Captain Sammitch does his best to hold his own against the caveman, but to no avail. URG tears into Sammitch as he would a mammoth, and the pin is inevitable.

Chris Oakley is lying in a ring corner, fumbling with something in his hands.

Penwing gets in the ring as URG moves towards Chris, vengeance for Sammitch on his mind. He batters the back of URG's head to get the caveman's attention, then uses his speed and a flurry of blows to keep URG off-guard. Penwing jumps on the caveman's back at locks in a modified sleeper hold, which is basically a choke-hold. URG struggles, slamming Penwing into the ringposts, the ropes, and onto the mat. But the exertion just speeds up the desired effect, and URG succumbs to Penwing's "sleeper-choke". Penwing pulls himself from underneath URG and stands to face off against his former nemesis...

And is dropped with a right, then a left, from Chris Oakley's brass knuckled fists. Chris drops onto the unconscious and bleeding Penwing...

Mouth: That's not right! Oakley cheated!


1...

Madman: Chris Oakley is about to win the match and the belt! Bastardo is a genius!!!

2...

Joe Mama frowns and squints. His right hand moves to his jacket pocket for a moment, then comes out and reaches for the coveted title.

JM: Maybe so...

3!!!

Chris Oakley is in the center of the ring, celebrating his victory. Jump Around blasts over the speakers. Louie Bastardo is jumping around in excitement, then pausing after a few jumps to ctach his breath. The crowd is booing and throwing grabage at the ring, but neither champion nor manager notices or cares. Joe Mama stands, with title belt in his right hand, and makes his way to the cage.

Madman: Joe Mama is not happy, Monroe! He does not wanna be anywhere near the new IC Champion! This is the worst day of his life!!!

Mouth: You're despicable, Marcum! Oakley cheated to win, and now the Eurotrash Champion has to reward that cheater!

Madman (to Joe Mama): Hey pretty boy! Show the new champ some respect. Spray some of that AXE body spray ya got in yer pocket before you go in there!!!

JM (turns to Marcum, who flinches a bit. The belt moves to his left hand as JM tucks the canister into the pocket, then grabs a mic): I'll be sure to do that, Marcum.

Joe Mama makes his way to the cage and a waiting Chris Oakley...

Louie Bastardo holds the cage door open for Joe Mama to walk through, a shit-eating grin on his face. Joe enters the cage and, as he climbs the steps to enter the ring, hears the cage door slam. Then he hears the click! as Louie Bastardo puts a lock on the door, stranding Joe Mama and Chris Oakley in the cage. The refs demand that Louie remove the lock, but he keeps saying "I don't have the key! I musta lost it!!!". Louie is jubilant!

Joe Mama enters the ring.

JM: Well, Chris, it looks like you did it. You held your own and were the last man standing. I guess there's nothing else to say but "Congratulations. You are the new Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion."

Joe holds out the belt to Chris, but Chris doesn't take it. Grin on his face, he motions for Joe to put the belt on Chris' shoulder and then raise Chris' hand in victory. Joe is visiblt chagrinned by the demand, but puts down the mic and complies. Then he starts to leave the ring, but as he makes it to the ring corner, he sees the refs and Louie (now joined by King Snarf) are still fighting about the locked door. Louie turns to the trapped Joe Mama, shrugs "innocently", and says "Gee, sorry." Then he starts to laugh until...

A terrible grin creases Joe Mama's face. He mouths the words "thank you" to Bastardo, which stops the gloating dead. Joe places his right hand in his pocket, turns back towards Chris Oakley, and just manages to dodge a brass knuckled attack. Then Joe pulls out the canister and sprays Oakley's face. Oakley howls in pain and drops onto the mat, hands clawing at his face.

Louie is now screaming for lock cutters: "Someone save my champ from that psycho!!!" Joe Mama hops to the floor and pulls from beneath the ring aset of lock cutters, which he places near the cage door. This just makes Louie that much more panicked and hysterical. King Snarf is trying to find a weak spot in the cage to break open and crawl through.

Joe Mama is now back in the ring. He gives Chris Oakley another blast from the canister. Then he grabs the mic, tests it to make sure it still works, and brings it to his lips.

JM: Can you hear me now, Chris?

Joe Mama chuckles as Chris alternates between rubbing his (obviously) maced eyes and blindly swinging at Joe Mama, to no avail. Joe kicks at Chris, then dodges a blindly-thrown punch.

JM: Did you think I wouldn't know something was up? Did you honestly believe, after two blindside attacks, that I wouldn't come to this ring prepared? You didn't REALLY think that this plan was gonna work, do you?

Joe Mama slips off the jacket, then proceeds to beat a blinded and still-in-pain Chris. The brass knuckles slide off Chris' hands and are kicked aside. Joe takes special care to punch Chris' face and rake his eyes, which only increases the pain for Chris. Chris, now stunned, is easily draped over Joe Mama's shoulders.

JM: I don't know what you're calling that sad imitation, but THIS is how you execute a REAL...EAST! COAST!! HAMMER!!!

Chris' head is plowed into the mat. He lies unconscious, with Joe Mama now standing over him and directing his comments to Louie Bastardo...

JM: Didn't Snarf warn you, Louie? Didn't he tell you exactly what I'm capable of? I ran his ass over with a fucking CAR, Louie!!! I destroyed him in a Last Man Standing Match, Louie!!! I am one of the most extreme wrestlers in this promotion! And your little actions did! NOT! Please! Me!!!

I destroyed Grimm! I ended the reign of the RwO by defeating Nowhereman for the very title that your boy holds! I ended a major faction in this promotion, one that your sad little scam doesn't REMOTELY compare to! You wanted my attention, Bastardo? You got it!!!

Now get in here and collect this waste! Let him know that he managed to piss off a LOT of great competitors with his win tonight...wrestlers who WILL have him in their sights, who will deserve their match against him! So you prepare him for those wrestlers, Louie. Because these little plans won't keep the IC Title in his hands for long. And they sure as HELL would help him beat me anymore!

Raise this cage!!!

As the cage eventually does start to lift, Joe Mama stands over the unconscious Chris Oakley and stares at Louie Bastardo. Louie and Snarf enter the ring cautiously. Joe Mama eventually steps over Chris, and leaves the three in the ring. The show fades out...

Joe Mama will pay for this! No one treats the Bastardo Family that way!