Bob-I admit, when he first appeared, I was a little skeptical. But he showed great leadership skills during the Island of Transexual Gorillas story. Bob for President/Prime Minister!

Roscoe and Earl-These two zany garbage collecting brothers have made me laugh out loud so much I have to change my underwear. The team simply would not be the same without them.

Gordon-Proof that you can be a pimp and still be a good person. Gordon's love affair with Sammi Davis, the illegitimate daughter of the famous entertainer, and his subsequent emotional torment when she died during the Escape from the Vampire Cosmonauts from Mars story was heartwrenching.

Oleg-From hateful villain to rock and roll superstar! Oleg's remorse over killing Sammi and his joining of the team and his following status of rock god has been nothing short of phenomenal.

Grace-My beautiful and talented assistant. Bastardo Productions could not survive without her.

Jay Leno's Chin-Respect the power of the chin. Saved the team and the world more times than I can remember.


and of course, me. Louie Bastardo.


I make stars, baby!