"Comfortable?"

"No."

"...good...good...."

"...horrible person..."

"You know, continuing to say it over and over doesn't make it not true..." Ian added, his voice drifting clearly over the corner speakers.

Victor Reilley sighed, laying flat on the slowly moving scan pad in nothing more than a gray hospital gown. The CAT Scan tube slowly covered his whole body, the pad coming to a rest.

"...now, just relax and pray that I'm not so drunk as to accidentally fry your ovaries...."

Reilley's eyes gained a bit of a panic, unsure of which part of that sentence to be worried over.

In the control booth, peering out the glass with Dr. McGregor, Nurse Piper glanced up at him with a quizical eye.

"You're not really drunk, are you?"

"Don't be absurd." he remarked, tapping a few commands on the keyboard. "Of course I am...."

"You're drunk?"

"Pretty sure."

"Why?"

"Well, I'm relatively certain it had something to do with the quantifiable amounts of scotch I drowned myself in about an hour ago."

Ruby stared at him for a second, finally leaning in a bit for sniff. She straightened back up, narrowing her eyes.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?"

"It's not that hard to do, really..." he shrugged, still fiddling with the computer controls.

Piper rolled her eyes, with a sigh.

They sat in silence briefly, studying the scan readings.

"Stoned?" she finally asked.

"As a bat..." he nodded.

She nodded, turning back to the monitors.

"What about him?" she asked, motioning towards the readouts.

"No, he's completely sober." Ian suggested. "Shame, really..."

"Doctor..." she sighed. "...you know what I mean..."

McGregor grinned, looking up at the bottom of the feet sticking out of the scan tube.

"He's a marvelous specimen." he said. "Perfect reflexes. Perfect stamina. Perfectly healthy..."

"...perfectly naked..." Ruby interjected, squinting her eyes towards the glass. "...you can see straight up his gown..."

"You can, can't you?" McGregor nodded, joining her view of the man.

"Wow...." she breathed. "...stroke of luck..."

"How dare you?" McGregor gasped. "Ruby, you have known me far too long to think that being able to see up that man's gown is in any way, shape, or form, not strictly done on purpose by myself..."

Her flipped a few switches, grumbling a bit.

"...luck, indeed..." he muttered.

"Well, nice show, either way..." she added, still staring at Victor Reilley's testicles.

"...I wouldn't know..." Ian added.

Piper paused, looking over at him.

"You're messing with me again, aren't you?"

He looked up at her, completely amazed with himself.

"Am I?"