RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 12/07/04

*Show opens with a replay of the final moments of Conniver Series with King Snarf lifting his shoulder off of the mat before the three count. Referees stormed the ring as Snarf and TK struggle with the title belt. Finally, Snarf takes the belt and clobbers TK with it, leaving the arena with Louie Bastardo and the title!

Mike Monroe: "Tonight, Rob K. has ordered a rematch between TK-069 and King Snarf to determine who should be the true Big Cheese Champion!"

Madman Marcum: "It's obvious that Snarf won the belt fair and square! He should have the title! Snarf used his favor to get Louie Bastardo assigned as special referee!"

Monroe: "Fans, last night PenWing suffered some serious injuries brawling with Notwedge. Rather than cancel the schedule double title match, Captain Sammitch has offered to defend the Hardcore Porn title in his place!"

Marcum: "Offered to get his butt kicked by Chris Oakley, you mean! Oakley used his Conniver Series favor to make it a TLC Match! The IC title hung on side of the ring, the Hardcore title on the other!"

Monroe: "Captain of Outer Space used his favor to get a match with the man who viciously attacked him last week, the Mystery Man!"

Marcum: "Mystery Man will get what's coming to him tonight! It's a no dq match!"

Monroe: "Also, we have the women's tag title finals as Sneaky Bunny and Meeko face off against Stareena and Butterrican!"

Marcum: "And a grudge tag match born from Conniver Series, the Legbreakererses 4 Hire against Chewy Walrus and Backwards7!"

Monroe: "I'm getting word from the back, Notwedge has just asked for as his favor. . .a petting zoo in his locker room?!"

Marcum: "Well, he does like animals. . ."

TLC Double Title Match single choice

Chris Oakley (IC Champ) (69%, 11 Votes)

Cap. Sammitch (Hardcore Porn Champ) (31%, 5 Votes)

Total Votes: 16 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 8:29 PM

No Disqualification Match single choice

Captain of Outer Space (63%, 10 Votes)

Mystery Man (38%, 6 Votes)

Total Votes: 16 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 8:29 PM

Grudge Tag Match single choice

Legbreakererses 4 Hire (71%, 12 Votes)

Chewy/Backwards (29%, 5 Votes)

Total Votes: 17 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 8:29 PM

Women's Tag Title Finals single choice

Meeko/Sneaky Bunny (75%, 12 Votes)

Stareena/Butter (25%, 4 Votes)

Total Votes: 16 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 8:29 PM

Big Cheese Title single choice

King Snarf (71%, 15 Votes)

TK-069 (29%, 6 Votes)

Total Votes: 21 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 8:29 PM

<The Black Eyed Peas' "Let's Get it Started" blares over the speakers. The crowd roars as Captain Sammitch heads for the ring. Accompanying him are Joe Mama, Son of Mxy, Meeko, and Sneaky Bunny - who is supporting a limping PenWing using his Sherwood as a crutch. Sammitch holds the ropes open for everyone else and helps PenWing into the ring before taking the microphone.>

CS: Conniver Series. Those words are still ringing in our heads at this very moment. You see, what you all witnessed there was nothing short of a shameless attempt to hijack your RDCW.

<The crowd murmurs, unsure of what to expect.>

Madman: What's he talking about?

CS: You may wonder what I'm referring to. Well, a so-called "Family" of has-beens and wanna-bes, led by a sleazy would-be "entrepreneur" with methods that are questionable at best and too damn much money to finance his schemes - <Boos from the crowd> - wasn't satisfied with fair and sportsmanlike competition. They wanted to win it all, and they didn't care how they did it.

Monroe: Can't argue with that.

Madman: What are you talking about? The Bastardo Family is a respectable franchise in this sport!

CS: Which we might be willing to let slide... If it were just that night. But it's been that way ever since this Bastard - excuse me, Bastardo - Family got together. And I for one am sick of it.

<Mixed reactions from the crowd.>

CS: Several months ago, Meeko and I began pulling together a faction. A faction whose purpose was to enforce order and maintain the balance of power in the RDCW - through the systematic elimination of anyone who might threaten that balance. We thought that threat might come from the rWo, but Joe Mama here took care of them in pretty short order. <Joe chuckles and nods.> Well, now we're starting to see that it's the Bastardo Family that wants to remake the RDCW in their own image. And we quite simply can't have that.

Madman: I'd sure love to know what he plans to do about it.

CS: Tonight, I plan on doing my part. As you all know, I will be facing Chris Oakley in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for both the Hardcore and IC titles. I have no desire to see PenWing lose his title, and most definitely no desire to see that title go to a member of the Bastardo Family. So Oakers, you damn well better bring your A-game if you wanna go toe-to-toe with me in a hardcore match.

<Cheers from the crowd.>

CS: And even if, by some fluke or trick of yours, I don't defeat you in this match, plan on getting bloody, because I fully intend to beat the living hell outta you no matter what the officials' ruling is. And don't count on that family of yours to save your ass. You've got people in your corner, and I've got people in mine. What's more, we all plan on being in TK-069's corner tonight as he demolishes Queen Snarf for the Heavyweight title. Be ready, Bastardos. We're coming for you.

<"Let's Get it Started" blasts out again. Huge applause from the crowd as the group leaves the ring in a tight cluster and heads off into the tunnel.>

Shriek the lips
Across ragged tongue,
Convulsing together.sing
Violently, move the jaw
Cry aloud. bound up the dead
Triumphantly

The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
You pray so hard on bloody knees.
The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
Down in the cool air I can see.

Hey, yeah - I’m the one that you wanted
Hey, yeah - I’m your superbeast
Hey, yeah - I’m the one that you wanted
Hey, yeah - I’m your superbeast


*Grimm appears on the rampway, mic in hand, meeting Sammitch and co on their way to the back.

"Hold on there, Sammitch. As acting GM, it's my position to deal with situations like this. Now, the Big Cheese title picture is cluttered enough without involving more people."

"Yes, Snarf used his favor to make Louie Bastardo the special referee for the match. Now there's nothing I can do about that. But I can keep anyone else from interfering in this match! All parties will be BANNED FROM RINGSIDE!!!"

"That means no Bastardo Family. No Sammitches, No Joe Mamas, No Legbreakereres, No Mystery Man, nada, zip, zero, zilch! If I see anyone leave the locker room during the Big Cheese title match and head for the ring, they will be suspended for two months WITHOUT PAY!!!"

"This title match will have a definite, conclusive ending one way or the other!"

Shriek the lips
Across ragged tongue,
Convulsing together.sing
Violently, move the jaw
Cry aloud. bound up the dead
Triumphantly

The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
You pray so hard on bloody knees.
The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
Down in the cool air I can see.

Hey, yeah - I’m the one that you wanted
Hey, yeah - I’m your superbeast
Hey, yeah - I’m the one that you wanted
Hey, yeah - I’m your superbeast

Hi above the ring somewhere in the rafters of the Cheesedome amongst a mess of jury rigged wires a tv screen shows the events happening below.

Quote:

---

Grimm said:
"That means no Bastardo Family. No Sammitches, No Joe Mamas, No Legbreakereres, No Mystery Man, nada, zip, zero, zilch! If I see anyone leave the locker room during the Big Cheese title match and head for the ring, they will be suspended for two months WITHOUT PAY!!!"

"This title match will have a definite, conclusive ending one way or the other!"

---

The camera pans out as Grimms music can be heard in the background to reveal a shadowy figure holding a baseball bat in his hand.
The mystery man shakes his head at the screen,then slowly disapears back into the shadows.

Back in the locker room,Chris Oakley watches a replay of Captain Sammitch's previous comments with an "I'm gonna kill him" look on his face.

That son of a....nobody disrespects me like that and gets away with it!

He picks up a baseball bat

And after I'm done kicking his ass,I'm going to give the rest of his so-called 'stable' a taste of their own medicine.

Camera follows Chris down the hallway and out towards the ring

Every...last...fucking....one of them.

<the RDCW locker room>

Joe Mama: What the hell were you thinking, man? If you hadn't said anything, we would've been able to take Snarf out!

Captain Sammitch: I wasn't thinking about that. I didn't think Grimm would pull something like that. I'm sorry, man!

JM: Dumb move, man. If you wanna be this big-time mover and shaker, you gotta be able to see all the angles! Now, we're not gonna be able to do anything about 'referee' Bastardo and the shit he's gonna pull!

PenWing: Unless you do something during his match... <pointing at Sammitch>

JM: <nodding> I see where this is going. I'll think about it, okay? <to Sammitch> I'm not happy about this, Sammitch. Not at all. But if we're gonna take down the Bastardos, we gotta be in this together.

CS: I understand. I'll be more careful with what I say next time.

Son of Mxy: You know how pissed Oakley's gonna be after that? You'd better watch your back out there, man.

CS: I know. Oakers isn't a pushover. Something bad could happen to me out there. Just remember what we all promised when we made this deal. If one of us is taken out of commission for whatever reason <nodding toward PenWing>, the rest of us are gonna have their back and pick up the slack until the job's done. We just gotta trust that Meeko knew what she was doing putting us all together.

JM: Gotcha. Almost match time, Sammitch.

CS: Right. <Grabbing his martial-arts staff and the hardcore belt> Let's do this.

Camera cuts back to Chris, baseball bat in one hand and IC title belt in the other. As he passes a fire extinguisher, we see Louie Bastardo come up to him and slap him on the back.

Louie: You ready to take care of business tonight, champ?
Chris: Damn right I'm ready.
Louie: Sorry I can't be out there with you, but I've got this business call from the Coast I gotta take.
Chris: That's okay, Louie, I can handle anything Sammitch throws at me. Don't forget, I took on the entire RDCW in one match.
Louie: True, true. By the way, I got you all the stuff you asked for--by the time you're done with that jagoff Captain Sammitch, he'll wish he never set eyes on you.
Chris: You're awesome, Louie. And to show my appreciation, I'm going to go out there and give you the best match of my career.


Chris and Louie exchange high fives, and Louie heads back to his office to take the phone call as the arena's PA systems start blaring the theme from Jaws to announce that Chris is coming down to the ring.

*Backstage, Grimm and several officials watch on a monitor as Chris Oakley and Captain Sammitch enter the ring for their match. Notwedge approaches Grimm.

Notwedge: "Dude, where's my petting zoo? I specifically asked for a petting zoo as my favor and I want it now!"

*Grimm sighs and holds his head in his hand.

"Notwedge, do you have any idea of the legal technicalities involved in. . ."

*Mystery Man appears from the shadows and lays out Notwedge with his baseball bat, as the officials take off. He steps over Notwedge and looks at Grimm. Grimm looks down at Notwedge and back up at Mystery Man.

"Problem?"

*Mystery Man nods his head and slaps his bat up and down.

"This have to do with my comments earlier?"

*Mystery Man nods again.

"I meant what I said. No outside interference in the title match. You want to help out Joe Mama by jumping his enemies and helping even the odds, fine. You want to jump Captain of Outer Space before your match, fine. You want to jump the Bastardoes in the locker room, fine. But once that bell rings, I don't want to see anyone at ringside. Not even you."

*Mystery Man looks as if he's considering these words. He looks at Grimm. He looks at his bat, and at Notwedge. He looks up at Grimm again.

"You want me? You want a piece of me? We can go right here, right now."

*Grimm turns his back and holds out his arms.

"You wanna go? Let's go."

*Mystery Man looks as if he's pondering this for a moment, then slowly backs into the shadows, disappearing again.

*Grimm turns back to look, and is surprised to see no one.

"Huh. Weird. Hey, someone call an ambulance for this guy on the floor!"

TLC Double Title Match

The bell barely sounded before the two competitors were at each other's throats. Chris was solo at ringside, while Captain Sammitch had Meeko. For the first few minutes of the match, there were no technical skills in use, only punches and kicks. Chris Oakley got the early upper hand and was able to tie Sammitch up in the ropes. But, before Chris could get to the top of a ladder to claima belt (the Hardcore title, in this case), Meeko freed her man. A chair-shot brought Chris back to the mat.

Now, it was Sammitch's turn to deliver a beating. Without wasting any time, Oakley was victimized by a series of Sammitch Suplexes. Content that his opponent was out for the count, Captain Sammitch set up a ladder and made his way up, hoping to at least re-gain the Hardcore title. But his progress was slow, giving Chris enough time to shake the cobwebs and run to the ropes to deliver a Logan Express to the ladder. Sammitch plummeted to the mat, stunned.

Chris took a moment to consider trying to climb a ladder before deciding to punish his opponent some more.

Monroe: Who's that coming down to the ring?

Madman: Oh, crap! It looks like...

Oakley was setting Sammitch up for a Cape Cod Crunch through a table, when Meeko started distracting the ref. As Oakley shouted for him to pay attention, Joe Mama slid through the ring, chair in hand, and delivered a hard shot to Chris that echoed through the arena. A barely-conscious Chris fell towards the ref, knocking him down and stunning him as well.

Sammitch turned just in time to see Joe Mama lay Chris across a table. He slapped Joe on the shoulder, and started motioning for his Sammitch Slam. Joe shook his head, and pointed at the two belts, still hanging in their respective corners.

Madman: Here we go again! Can't these two agree on anything???

Monroe: I don't like the interference, but Captain Sammitch should be more concerned with the titles than with some revenge on Chris Oakley!

Captain Sammitch shook his head, motioned more emphatically for the Sammitch Slam, and pushed Joe Mama back. Joe, with an annoyed look on his face, glanced out towards the crowd and then clotheslined Sammitch.

Monroe: Oh my God! What's Joe Mama doing???

Madman: He's teaching the Captain a lesson! I think Joe's joined the Bastardo Family!!!

After a series of punches to the downed star, Joe Mama flung Captain Sammitch into the ropes and delivered an Enforcer. As the crowd went crazy with rage, Joe Mama shouldered Captain Sammitch and executed an East Coast Hammer that drove Sammitch onto Chris Oakley and both through the table. Then Joe climbed both ladders to get the belts and showed them off to the crowd, who heartily booed him. He walked over to the competitors, kicked Sammitch out of the ring, and dropped both titles onto Chris Oakley, but not before clearing his throat and spitting phlegm on Chris' face. As Joe Mama made his way to the back, Meeko grabbed him, demanding an explanation. Joe shouldered her off, told her "Your boys dropped the ball, Babes!", then went out back.

Monroe: I don't believe it! Chris Oakley is the Hardcore AND Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion! And it's thanks to Joe Mama!

Madman: Sammitch got what he deserved! And Louie Bastardo may have all the men's titles by the end of the night!!!

No DQ Match

Mystery Man took an early advantage in this match, as his size and strength were too much for the Captain Of Outer Space to take. The big man took his time to inflict the most pain possible on his opponent with his bare hands before sliding out of the ring to grab the steel steps from ringside. As he climbed back into the ring, the Captain made it too his feet and hit the Mystery Man with a drop kick to the chin, causing Mystery Man to fall onto his back and drop the steps onto himself. The Captain Of Outer Space started to kick his stunned opponent all over his body, including a few in some strategically located spots.

Madman: The Captain Of Outer Space just caused havoc to the Mystery Man's mystery-men!

The Captain Of Outer Space dragged the Mystery Man out from under the steps, got him to his feet, slapped in a headlock, and delivered a Sirius Slam (bulldog) on Mystery Man, driving his head into the steps. There'd be no kick-out as the Captain got the pin.

Backstage...

Shot of PenWing lying unconscious. His already-broken leg is twisted in an unnatural way. His head is lying in a pool of blood, and it's difficult to tell if he's breathing.

There's a commotion off-camera. The camera pans up and several members of security are either pushing back or trying to contain and cuff "Two-Ton Tommy", Nuriko's bodyguard. Grimm fights his way past the chaos and towards the fallen PenWing. He can barely contain his shock. He turns towards security and 'Tommy:

Grimm: Get him outta here! Lock him up! I fully intend to file charges against that piece of shit!

He looks back down to PenWing.

Grimm: Dammit, get an ambulance! Where are the damn EMTs?!? We got a man down here!!!

Grudge Tag Match

There would be no technical wrestling in this match. These two teams have a long-standing hatred for each other, and a brawl was the order for the night. The referee could barely control the match or keep the non-legal wrestlers out of the ring. The match turned when both Chewy and Backwards7 took right fists to the face by both Winged Creature and Stupid Dogg.

Monroe: Those fists were loaded! The ref should call this match right now!!!

Madman: I don't see anything, and neither did the ref! Quit yer bitchin', Monroe!

But, as the ref admonished one Leg Breakerer for the closed-fist, the other looked to slip something into their tights. Wings and Dogg waved the ref off and placed each of their opponents in the dreaded "Breakerer-Lock" (ankle-lock submission with a grapevine on the leg). The ref, seeing both former RwO-member unconscious, called for the bell. Barely containing his disgust, he raised the Leg Breakerers hands in victory.

Women's Tag Title Finals

The two winners of the Women's Tag Tournament Qualifier Matches finally met to determine who would be crowned the first Women's Tag Team Champions. The clear favorites were Stareena and ButterRican, two veterans in the Women's Division. But no one was counting out Meeko and Sneaky Bunny, who pulled off a huge upset at Havoc a few weeks ago.

Madman: Catfight! Catfight!!! Woo-HOO!!!

Monroe: Dammit, Marcum, shut up and do your job!

The first few minutes of the match were a see-saw battle as the two teams fought to gain the upper-hand. But Meeko, the current Women's Boobie Belt holder, had something to prove after what happened to her men earlier. She took control of ButterRican and overpowered her with a series of punches, kicks, and Meeko-Plexes. Stareena was calling for the ref to take some control in the match, so Meeko tossed Butter into her own corner, daring Stareena to get in the ring.

Unintimidated, Stareena tagged her fallen teammate and attacked Meeko with a series of holds and dodges. But Stareena was outnumbered and, when Sneaky Bunny delivered a Bunny Hop to Stareena while her back was turned, it was clear who would walk away with the belts. Meeko held Stareena while Sneaky Bunny punched and kicked her. Then the two delivered the Midwest Thunder for the pin. Sneaky Bunny jumped onto an obviously emotional Meeko and the two celebrated.

Big Cheese Title Match

It was clear going into the main event that TK-069 had his work cut out for him. The deck was stacked, with Louie Bastardo as the "Special Referee". Before the match began, Louie took an extra long time checking the champ for any "foreign objects". As Louie bent over to check TK's boots, King Snarf ran in and hit TK with a clothesline. The bell sounded, and the match "officially" began.

Louie made it a point to waggle his finger at King Snarf for his action as Snarf delivered blow after blow to TK. The champ was forced into a corner where Louie took his time counting, then pulling King Snarf out of the corner. King Snarf started to attack TK-069 again, but took a boot to the gut as TK fought his way out of the corner. The champ scooped King Snarf and delivered a body slam, but was delayed in going for a pin when Bastardo admonished him for "closed fists".

Monroe: That's not fair! Bastardo's full of it!

Madman: What are you talkin' about! TK's using fists! Louie's callin' it down the middle, ya big crybaby!

The match was back and forth as neither wrestler could gain the upper hand. Bastardo accused TK-069 of hair-pulling, which elicited laughter and boos from the crowd. King Snarf was a victim of a sidewalk slam from the champ, but was able to kick out as Louie counted to two.

Monroe: That was a slow count, ref!

Madman: (A bit surprised) Actually, that was right on the money, Mike. I told you he was calling it down the middle!

TK-069 threw King Snarf into the ropes, but missed the clothesline as he ducked the arm. King Snarf bounced off the opposite ropes and planned to try a flying cross-body, but TK had the same idea and the two crashed into each other and fell to the mat. At that point, it was only a question of who would recover first and use their finisher to win the match.

KIng Snarf was the first to his feet, and positioned the injured champion for an atomic drop that would cause him to bounce off the ropes and into the challenger's dreaded headlock. But as he turned to get the proper position to deliver the old-school move, one of TK's legs hit Louie Bastardo in the head, and the "Special Referee" was knocked out!

Madman: Omigawd! OmiGAWWWWD!!! Someone get help! The champion just knocked the ref out! Call the match!!! CALL THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!!!

Monroe: TK-069 had nothing to do with it! King Snarf's carelessness is the culprit! Finally we might get an even match!

Madman: Shut up, Monroe! Someone get the EMTs! Where's our GM? He needs to end this match and give King Snarf the title!!!

As King Snarf tried to revive his fallen manager, TK-069 was able to recover and lay in wait for King Snarf, then deliver the Orchepocalypse. As TK-069 hooked a leg, the crowd counted the pin. But, with no ref to give the official pin-count, the match had to continue. TK-069 made his way to the top rope and executed a Flying Negra and pinned King Snarf again. This time a ref made it to the ring in time to count:

1...

Monroe: The champ's got the pin! TK-069 will retain the title despite the Bastardo Family's efforts!

2...

Madman: This is a travesty! Someone should sue! Someone should sue someone else!!!

King Snarf kicked out!!!

The match became a battle of wills. Two battered warrior slugged it out, trying to regain the upper hand. King Snarf set TK-069 up for another atomic drop, but the champion was able to throw an elbow at the challenger's gut. TK landed on his feet, turned, and delivered a super-kick. But King Snarf ducked and a SECOND ref was laid out!

A third ref rushed to the ring as the two competitors, bloody from the match, traded blows. King Snarf dropped TK-069 with a Power Slam and then, taking a page from his old repertoire, ran to the ropes to execute a Wildsault. But King Snarf was rusty and overshot his opponent, hitting the third ref and knocking him to the floor.

With no ref to maintain order, the two competitors used any means to gain control of the match. TK used an uncharacteristic low-blow, then was able to get King Snarf into position for a pile-driver. But no ref meant no count. The audience was getting restless, demanding a ref and a clear victor.

Grimm rushed to the ring, ready to give the impatient crowd their champion. King Snarf was able to kick out of Grimm's two-count. As the competitors stood up, King Snarf punched TK in the gut then, grabbing him by the tights and the back of the neck, blindly threw him into the corner, where TK hit the pole face-first. King Snarf stumbled to the corner, pulled out his obviously unconscious foe, and slapped the headlock on him. Grimm, stunned, didn't move. King Snarf started screaming at Grimm to make the count. Grimm raised TK's limp arm and let it fall to the mat.

1.

Grimm paused, then lifted the arm again. The champ's hand hit the canvas.

2.

A longer pause. Grimm clearly did not want to finish the count. King Snarf was screaming again! After a moment, Grimm, with hatred in his eyes, raised the arm one last time.

THUD!!!

3!

The show closed with King Snarf celebrating his victory in the ring, brandishing the Big Cheese Title and mocking Grimm with it. Grimm glares in anger and disgust at the display as we fade out...

snarf's music plays and he celebrates as grimm reluctantly hands him the belt. show closes as grimm and snarf stare each other down, snarf brandishing the title.