RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Media I Love Star Wars!

George Lucas recently gave an interview to ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY to promote the release of the “directors cut” versions of the first three STAR WARS movies that just came out on DVD. What follows are actual real (true!) quotes from George, along with what I would say if he said that shit to me…

Pit Pat: Why the fuck did you have to go and add a bunch of useless crap to the original trilogy?

GEORGE LUCAS: When STAR WARS came out, I said it didn’t turn out the way I wanted—it’s 25 percent of what I wanted it to be.

Pit Pat: 75 percent of the movie wasn’t there? Funny, it seemed pretty complete to me.

GL: So the choice came down to, do I please myself and [finally] make the movie I wanted, or do I allow the audience to see the half-finished version that they fell in love with?

PP: Half-finished? That’s only 50 percent.

GL: If you really look at it, there’s hardly any changes at all.

PP: First you say 75 percent, then 50 percent, then hardly any changes…are you retarded?

GL: The thing that really caused the trouble on STAR WARS is the whole question of whether Han Solo or Greedo shoots first.

PP: Yeah, Han Solo understandably shoots Greedo because Greedo is holding him at gunpoint.

GL: He didn’t shoot first.

PP: But he did. I saw it. At least 50 times.

GL: In my mind [Greedo] shot first or at the same time.

PP: Sounds like you really don’t know what your mind thinks.

GL: We like to think of [Han Solo] as a murderer because that’s hip...

PP: Yeah, murderers are awesome!!

GL: I mean, I don’t see how you can redeem somebody who kills people in cold blood.

PP: Greedo, the green ant-eater faced monster, is a person now? You’re so crazy, I wanna have your baby.

GL: Every other change is, you know, I wanted to have a good matte painting in here.

PP: So you’re saying STAR WARS is 75 percent matte paintings? I thought it was mostly characters and plot and shit. But then again, I’m not a filmmaking genius, I’m just an asshole comedian.

GL: Half of directing is great casting.

PP: You should really stop throwing around percentages.

GL: It really is. If you cast it right, you don’t have to do much work.

PP: That kid you hired to play young Anakin in PHANTOM MENACE was terrific.

GL: I said, well [PHANTOM MENACE] is not going to work because I’m making it about a ten-year-old boy, and nobody is going to want to see this.

PP: I certainly wish I didn’t.

GL: And then [ATTACK OF THE CLONES] is a love story.

PP: No wonder I didn’t like it. Love is stupid.

GL: It’s not a hip, happening romantic comedy with the Olsen twins.

PP: Um, I know you’ve been busy making horrible movies, but there’s no such thing as a hip, happening romantic comedy with the Olsen twins.

GL: So at least Darth Vader is in [EPISODE III]. Only for two minutes, but he’s in it. If you take them all together it’s a fascinating saga.

PP: Oh, I get it, if I see EPISODE III next May it will magically make EPISODES I and II not suck. I’m gonna go get in line right now!

I want my time back for reading that shit.

GL: I mean, I don’t see how you can redeem somebody who kills people in cold blood.

Further proof that George had one great idea and for the rest of the time, has no idea what he's talking about (see also, Luke and Leia's kinship...George simply resolved to have them be siblings because he had no easy way to break up the love triangle without keeping them all friends).

Bit I digress...

He turns Darth Vader, a man who killed others by his own hand, into a Christ Figure at the end of RETURN OF THE JEDI. If that ain't redemption...

Um, George....

Even in the original I would hardly call Han shooting Greedo first "in cold blood"

See, if you could read...like I can, you would have seen sub-titled dialog at the bottom of the screen.

In this dialog Greedo in a beat about the bush kind of way told Han Solo he was going to gain favor with Jabba by bringing Jabba Han's ship over Han's dead body.

Now I realize first as I said, you have to read.

Second, you have to comprehend what you read.

And sometimes you even have to use common sense (something else you seem to not have a need for nowadays) and assume a little bit.

So more educated people than yourself realize Han didn't kill Greedo in cold blood. He was protecting himself from the threats of a villianous gangster. He was being proactive!

Han was also a bad ass who had no intention on taking shit from anyone let alone a glorifed Jabba errand boy like Greedo.

George Lucas is a cunt!

GL: So at least Darth Vader is in [EPISODE III]. Only for two minutes, but he’s in it. If you take them all together it’s a fascinating saga.

STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK...fascinating. JEDI...mostly a "let's cash the check and get outta Dodge" story.

TPM? AOTC? ROTS? Movies devoid of an interesting story with a climax that has been known since George revealed that he released the middle part of the whole story ca. 1977-1983.

ANAKIN SKYWALKER is DARTH VADER!

I just want Lucas to release the Star Wars Holiday Special on DVD! As bad as its reputed to be, I'd rather watch that than Episode I.

Happy Life Day everybody!