Wednesday- Well don't just stand there man! Step on the gas! Go, go, GOOO!!!
Alex slams on the pedal but it's already too late. Looking to the back he sees giant mutated form of Wednesday's wife. The tires screech on the road but the car remains in place.
Alex- Do something! Hit her!
Wednesday- Oh yeah, that's it. Hit my wife! I guess you've never heard of a little thing called spousal abuse. Why can't you just use whatever powers you got?!?
Alex- Kinda lost mine.
Wednesday- What?!?!
Alex- When the whole time shift thing happened they kinda left.
Wednesday- Oh that's just great. So what the hell are we supposed to do?
Alex- Umm... Well you could always try just talking to it....
Wednesday- Ya.... yeah, talking to it. It's my wife after all I should be able to talk to it.
Yelling to the beast- Honey- Honey calm down. Look I can see your obviously not happy about me running away but look at it from my point of view, huh?
He shrugs his shoulders and smiles an awkward smile.
The Wife slams her enormous fists onto the pavement crushing it to pebbles. Wednesday jumps back.
Wednesday- Gah. I hope you've got a better plan man.
Alex- Trust me, I'm working on it.
Alex looks around from in the car to find something he can use to help. He spots a small sporting goods store just off the road. He jumps from the car and heads into the store. Suddenly an idea pops into his head.
Alex- I hope they've got it.
Alex gets to the store and grabs the first employee he can find.
Alex- Hey man, you got any bungee cords?
Employee- Yeah sure. Check in aisle 8.
Alex- Perfect!
Meanwhile outside the Wife grabs Wednesday by the feet and starts clubbing him on the ground like a bat.
Wednesday- Oof! Ow! Ohhhhhh gawd, the pain....
Suddenly his pack of cigarettes falls out. The Wife looks at the cigarettes and then at Wednesday and back at the cigarettes.
Wednesday- Oh no...
Wife- SO YOU'VE BEEN SMOKING NOW TOO!?!
Wednesday- No! No, they're not mine I swear! The kid, he's a freakin chain smoker! He just puffs one after another!
Wife- GRRR, I HATE BEING LIED TO JASON! TELL ME THE TRUTH!
She wraps her fingers tightly around Wednesday's entire body and lifts him to her face.
Wife- TELL ME!
Wednesday crushed in her fist tries to breath out any words he can manage but nothing comes out. The Wife throws Wednesday fifty yards away into a brick wall. He collapses down onto the ground.
Wife- TELL ME THE TRUTH!
Alex runs out of the store with the bungee cord dragging behind him. He finally reaches the car and goes to the back. Attaching the cord onto the back bumper and the other end to a phone pole he gets back into the car.
Alex- Well, if cartoons have ever taught me anything then this should work! If not...
Alex shakes off the thought.
Wednesday makes his way to his feet. Angered and annoyed he's filled with testosterone. He yells back to his Wife.
Wednesday- ALRIGHT, YOU WANT THE TRUTH! THE TRUTH IS I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOU AND THAT BRAT! I'M TIRED OF MY JOB AND I'M TIRED OF BEING WALKED ALL OVER LIKE A DOORMAT!
The Wife jerks her head up listening to every word. Her eye's focus on Wednesday and only Wednesday as she grunts and stampedes toward him.
Alex- Now!
He steps on the gas and the car rockets down the street, cord dangling behind it. He speeds past the Wife about 30 yards away and gaining fast.
Wednesday- THAT'S THE TRUTH! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE "HONEY"-
Suddenly the slack on the cord draws tight and the car jerks to a stop.
Eyes still transfixed on Wednesday the Wife doesn't seem to notice the cord and charges right into it. A foot away from Wednesday the cord stops her in her tracks.
Wednesday saying smoothly and satisfied- -I want a divorce.
She growls at him. Reaching out a hand she's too late as the bungee cord slingshots her into the horizon.
Wife- GRR-RAHHHH!
Wednesday breathes a sigh of relief as he sees her disappear.
Wednesday- Ha ha ha. Oh man, that felt great! Did you see that? Ha ha!
Alex opens the car door and jumps out. He runs to Wednesday.
Alex- I saw it alright! We did it!
Wednesday- Yeah. The JLR....
Well we'd better head back out, kid. 'Specially if we wanna save the world, huh? Let's get the rest of the team.
With that he bats Alex on the back and heads to the car.
