"What happened was -- and, again, this is something I haven't shared with anybody. I should explain myself. I'm on steroids, and one of the side effects is called roid rage. The side effects have been awful. I have terrible back acne, shriveled genitalia. What I didn't realize is when you take steroids, you're supposed to work out. I've just been taking them. So it's causing that kind of anger. I remember going on the 'Crossfire' set and saying hello to the host, and then waking up naked with my ass cheeks taped together on Connecticut Avenue. So I don't really know what happened." --"Daily Show" host Jon Stewart, on his controversial interview on "Crossfire"
"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." --Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, responding to a U.S. soldier serving in Iraq who asked him why troops had to dig through scrap metal to armor vehicles
"Now, settle down, settle down. Hell, I'm an old man, it's early in the morning and I'm gathering my thoughts here." --Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, fielding hostile questions from U.S. troops in Iraq (Read more Rumsfeldisms)
