RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW RDCW Arma Gadda Da Vidda!

Mike Monroe: "It's the day after Christmas and welcome to RDCW's Arma Gadda Da Vidda!"

Madman Marcum: "Have some more eggnog, Monroe!"

Monroe: "No thanks, I think you've had enough for both of us, Madman. Our main event bout tonight is the Asylum Rules Match for the Eurotrash title! Joe Mama defends against Captain Sammitch!"

Fat Retard: "BUHGAWD!"

Marcum: "That's right, that means weapons are legal, outside interference is legal, tables, chairs, whatever! I don't think Sammitch stands a chance, this is Joe Mama's type of match! Whoooaahhhh!!!!!!" *Marcum falls over out of his chair and passes out drunk. LLarry LLawller takes his place immediately.

LLawller: "Man, he's got a nice butt!"

Fat Retard: "SLOBBERKNOCKER!"

Monroe: "I give up. Fans, we also have a debate tonight where Rex and Christine Oakley will tell us why they think Rex deserves a shot at the Big Cheese Title! On the opposing end will be the Big Cheese Champ, King Snarf, and his manager Louie Bastardo!"

Fat Retard: "DROP TOEHOLD!"

Monroe: "Let's just go to ringside and James White."

Triple Threat Match 1st Fall (Hardcore Title) single choice

Chris Oakley (Champ) (22%, 5 Votes)

Bibbo (52%, 12 Votes)

Wednesday (26%, 6 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

Triple Threat Match 2nd Fall (IC Title) single choice

Chris Oakley (Champ) (65%, 15 Votes)

Bibbo (17%, 4 Votes)

Wednesday (17%, 4 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

Women's Booby Title single choice

Meeko (Champ) (74%, 17 Votes)

Difficult Kind (26%, 6 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

6 Man Tag single choice

GMan/DaveTWB/Wbam (57%, 13 Votes)

Whomod/JJackson/Klinton (43%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

Lightweight Match Non Title single choice

Son of Mxy (42%, 10 Votes)

James Fantastic (58%, 14 Votes)

Total Votes: 24 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

Bra and Panties Elimination Tag single choice

Stareena/Butterrican (78%, 18 Votes)

Uschi/Shazamgrrl1 (22%, 5 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

Debate: Should Rex get a title match? single choice

Rex & Christine Oakley (35%, 8 Votes)

King Snarf & Louie Bastardo (65%, 15 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

Asylum Rules Match (EuroTrash Title) single choice

Joe Mama (Champ) (35%, 8 Votes)

Captain Sammitch (65%, 15 Votes)

Total Votes: 23 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 5:55 PM

A non title match? What the hell? I appreciate the management's concern, in the sense that you wouldn't want me to lose my title to someone with a gay name like James, and an even gayer surname like Fantastic. Specifically because I am the biggest draw in the roster, and am popular with teenage girsl!!! But come on...hello? Third generation superstar in here! I cannot be harmed by earth weaponry!

Knock knock?

I'm assuming you said Who's there already.

Lose the the title.

And then here's the part where you say Lose the title who?

And I'm going to say "There's no way I'm going to lose my title to a fag with a faggy name!" and then I'm going to call each and every one of you little fags out there queer. Also, fag. Damnit.

Of course, I'm not going to lose this match. But just in case a miracle happens and Ayn Rand wills herself back to life to throw all the retards into the gas chamber, I'm going to make a stipulation for the next PPV...

Son of Mxy VS Gaymes Fagtastic...Hell in a sperm cell match!!! Loser has to bathe in MisterJLA's cum!

He/she's back!

After a short break to plug RDCW's January PPV, we come back to the action at ringside. Alice in Chains' "Snuff the Rooster" blasts from the arena's PA speakers and we see Chris Oakley strutting down to the ring wearing combat boots, camouflage pants, and a T-shirt that reads KILL 'EM ALL, LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT! He climbs into the ring as the crowd boos him at the top of their lungs; responding with a contemptuous scowl, he picks up a wireless mike and begins to talk.

Well, well, well . . . . life just isn't being very good to your hero Joke Mama these days, is it? First he has to hand over his IC title to me, then his little mascot Bilgerat Sammitch bails out on him, then he and SOM lose their tag team belts to Notwedge and the Captain of Outer Space, and tonight he's going to lose his beloved Eurotrash title!!!

Chris smirks as the crowd boos him again.

And just to really rub some salt in his wounds, I'm going to kick his ass at next month's RDCW PPV in a Fenway Park street fight! Yeah, you heard me right, I'm throwing down the gauntlet for Jerk Mama to meet me in a no holds barred street fight match at next month's RDCW PPV event! And I can assure you that whatever else happens tonight, two things are absolutely guaranteed: one, I'm going to kick the crap out of Bibbo and Wednesday in the Triple Threat match; and two, at next month's PPV I'm going to end the legend of Jobber Mama once and for all!

Security moves to surround the ring and the aisle back to the locker room as it becomes apparent that the crowd wants to rip Chris apart and feed him to the sharks.

Oh, and by the way, I thought you all might like to know that I had some remodeling work done a short time ago on Joke Mama's car. I'd get more specific than that, but I have a match to get ready for, and the sooner I start prepping for it, the faster I can beat Bibbo and Wednesday. Besides, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so . . .

Chris gestures towards the Cheese-O-Tron monitor, then puts his mike down and makes his way towards the locker room. The crowd murmurs first in astonishment and then in anger as they see a closeup of Joe Mama's car; the vehicle has quite clearly been trashed within an inch of its life. Its tires are slashed, its windows and windshield are smashed in, and the body is littered with a plethora of dents from where it was caved in by repeated blows from a sledgehammer. Camera zooms in to reveal a brief message sprayed on the car's hood: "JOE MAMA'S CAREER R.I.P."

With no entrance music, Joe Mama steps out onto the ramp. The crowd is decidedly mixed as he walks towards Chris Oakley, who has the grin of a man secure of his imminent victories. Joe's face, on the other hand, is conspicuously blank. Security braces for the confrontation as the two are now nose-to-nose. Joe Mama raises his own mic to his lips.

JM: There are three things you should probably have clear in your mind. One: That's not my car. It's a rental. And not only did I purchase the insurance for it, I also have you on tape admitting to vandalizing it. So I'll be sure to send that tape to the rental company, and make doubly sure that you get the bill. Boy.

Chris is obviously angry, but holds his temper in check. He's still got one for title than Joe Mama...

JM: Two: I accept your challenge. A Fenway Park Street Fight is too enticing to pass up. And I'd probably have accepted anyways, even though I'll bet your first choice of match was a Bra-And-Panties Match - you seem to swing that way. But I'm gonna add a stipulation: whatever title you walk away with tonight, it goes on the line in January. I don't think I'm gonna allow you to be a champion anymore, Chris, much less a double champion. Junior.

Chris has a harder time keeping his cool in the face of JM's accusation and stipulation demand. But he holds things together. He'll OF COURSE have both titles at the end of Arma-Gadda-Da-Vidda, and he isn't gonna lose to Joe Mama in January! Not with Louie Bastardo guiding his career...

JM: And three: I don't see losing this title (holds up the Eurotrash Title to Chris' face) to Captain Sammitch tonight. Let's face it, I thrive in TRUE hardcore-style matches. Sammitch only thrives in matches where he can have a title handed to him or Meeko fight for him. I don't see Meeko getting involved here...

Joe Mama grins and drops the Eurotrash belt. Chris Oakley glances down as it hits the ground, then glances up just in time to see Joe Mama head-butt him.

The two men erupt into a brawl. Both wrestlers trade punches to the face, with neither one gaining the upper hand. Security tries to break up the fight, but quite a few officers take punches meant for the foes before both Joe Mama and Chris Oakley are restrained and dragged backstage.

James Fantastic appears on the ramp, looking pissed off and hostile. He strides down and vaults into the ring.

JF: It has come to my attention that a certain son of Mxy happens to question my...suitability to fight him. Well, he can kis my arse, cos like hell am I losing to that faggy little gaysbian.

the crowd boo, unhappy at Fantastic's remarks about Mxy

JF: I'll beat his ass tonight, and in January, when I face him again, it'll be him bathing in cum, not me. Because, and get this right, you are looking at a man who will one day be the greatest wrestler in the RDCW. Except maybe for Chris Oakley, who I note allready has two titles. Here's hoping you make it three, Mr. Oakley!

The crowd are really angry now, infuriated by Fantastic's praise of a member of the Bastardo family

JF: Ladies and Gentlemen, you stand in the Presence of Greatness. Thankyou and goodnight

Street Fighting Man plays, and Fantastic strides out

High above the ring in the rafters of the cheesedome a dark shadowy figure lurks bathed in the dim light of a jury rigged tv monitor.

*Backstage. Son of Mxy is watching the monitor...*

What the hell? What gave That fagtastic dude any right to call me faggy? Listen...*grabs the cameraman and makes out with him for 5 minutes*

Now...that is faggy! And I am certainly not that!

Listen Fagtastic, The RDCW is all about earning your dues! or sucking the management's cock, or earning your dues by sucking the management's cock...but you? You have not yet earned your dues despite the fact that you clearly have a lot of experience in sucking cocks...you have no right to call me faggy. Gay, yes...but not faggy!

*Son of Mxy throws the cameraman out the window*

Fantastic approaches Mxy, appearing calm and in control

JF: Son of Mxy, my dear fellow, I'd just like you to answer a question...how can you be gay and not faggy?

With that, Fantastic smacks Mxy in the head with a cricket bat, and lays into him savagely

JF: That is for calling me Gaymes Fagtastic, arsehole!

slowly, Mxy staggers to his feet, finally getting up as Fantastic walks away

SoM: Hey, Fagtastic!

Fantastic turns, and Mxy slams him with a Subject-Verb agreement. Fantastic goes down, and Mxy slams him in the balls with his own cricket bat

SoM: That's for being an asshole, asshole!

Everclear's "When It All Goes Wrong Again" hits the speakers as the Big Cheese Heavyweight Champion King Snarf makes his way to the ring!

Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight is a glorious night for RDCW! For tonight, Louie Bastardo and myself shall engage in a debate with Rex and Christina Oakley on whether or not Rex should be allowed to challenge for the World Title. In a very real sense, the World Title shall be decided not by wrestling, but by words! *Crowd boos* Yes, and this is just a start to the glorious future I envision for RDCW! I have a dream where I compete in a title match where the only legal maneuver is the hip toss! Title belts being decided by a game of tiddlywinks! And other inane concepts! And you folks have to deal with it!

As for the debate tonight, you all know my position, and I'll not give Rex an advantage by stating my arguments now. But let it be said, I will win tonight! In this mutliple participant, public debate, which I will refer to as a mass debate for simplicity, I will emerge victorious! Why is that? Because I am an expert at mass debating! I mass debated through out high school, I mass debated all through college, hell I even mass debated before coming out here! I've mass debated in front of men, women, and even children! And they were all shocked and awed by my mass debating! And tonight, I will mass debate in front of all of you, and truly, my greatness shall explode forth and will leave it's mark on you all!

Why? Everyone should know about my mass debating habits! Why, I once mass debated for well over an hour!

What are you so high and mighty about? You're going to be mass debating in this ring, right alongside me, with Christina Oakley and Louie Bastardo looking on, not to mention all the RDCW fans!

Rex, you only say this 'cso you're gonna LOSE!!

That's right, boy, Snarf is gonna mass debate you into next century!

<No music can be heard and no entourage can be seen as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring, but the crowd cheers wildly. Rather than his usual Colts warmup, the two-time hardcore champion is wearing black warmup pants, all-black New Balances, a black bandanna, and a black T-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a white skull-and-crossbones on the chest. His martial-arts staff is either made of ebony or painted with a matte-black finish; the casual observer can't tell. Sammitch steps into the ring and quiets the crowd with a wave of his hand.

CS: Thank you all. Thanks. Some of you may have noticed that one lucky fan in each section of the arena found a Cap'n Sammitch pirate tee beneath their seat. <Sporadic cheers from people scattered throughout the arena.> Just a gift from me to you, the fans of the RDCW.

Marcum: What's Sammitch doing? Trying to buy off the fans?

Monroe: He's doing the same thing he's always done - showing his respect and gratitude for the people who have supported him. Sammitch's career was going nowhere until he won the approval of the fans...

CS: I'm here on more serious business tonight. But before I get in this ring again, I wanted to take a moment to recognize you, the fans. Because I wouldn't have made it this far if I hadn't earned your support.

Marcum: And got Meeko to do his dirty work, of course!

Fat Retard: Drop toehold!!!

Monroe: <Casting a puzzled glance in Retard's direction> True, the circumstances surrounding Captain Sammitch's various victories in the ring are... well, controversial. But there's no controversy whatsoever about what happened the last time he was given a title shot...

<Footage of Joe Mama's surprise attack on Sammitch at Havoc three weeks ago plays over the TV feed as the Cheese-O-Tron continues to display Sammitch's video montage.>

Monroe: A vicious and - some would say - unprovoked attack on Sammitch by none other than Joe Mama allowed Chris Oakley to walk away with two titles.

Marcum: Joe was just fed up with Sammitch's grandstanding! He was sick of his attitude!

Monroe: Be that as it may, some have questioned whether Joe Mama's attack and Chris Oakley's subsequent title wins weren't intended to give Joe a chance to win a title from what he might consider to be an easier opponent.

Marcum: That's crazy, Mike Monroe! Chris Oakley is a champion in this arena, and he proved it by defeating Sammitch! Plus, he's a worthy member of a proven family of champions, the Bastardo family!

Monroe: <ignoring Marcum> Of course, all parties concerned would deny such accusations vehemently. At least Joe Mama would. After all, wouldn't it be sad if such a dominant force in the RDCW felt threatened by a relative newcomer? Regardless of all that, these two former allies will have a chance to face one another tonight, and I'm sure Sammitch is intent on settling the score.

CS: I'm sure you're all wondering when I'm going to call Joe Mama out for the little stunt he pulled three weeks ago. Trust me, it's not that big of a deal. You see, Joe was sending a message when he did what he did. He was telling me that he's the real champion here, and I'm just a pretender. <Sammitch shrugs amid mixed cheers and boos from the crowd.> It's okay. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. <Sammitch brandishes his staff imposingly.> You just better be prepared to back it up once you start talking smack.

Monroe: Obviously no love lost between these two...

CS: Like I said, I'm not taking it personally. That may be hard to believe, but it's true. After all, only a true champion would deliver a title into the hands of a sworn enemy by a sneak attack on someone who trusted him. And all because he said I was grandstanding. <Sammitch shakes his head.> Joe, Joe, Joe... Do you think if I were that worried about what people thought of me that I'd wear my badass pirate shirt out here?

<Laughter and cheers from the crowd.>

CS: I'm here because it's what I love to do. And lately, I've been here because I've been on a mission, with the help of Meeko and Penwing. But tonight, I'm here not because they decided to give me a shot at a title, but because I've decided to give Joe Mama a chance to put his money where his mouth is, in a straight-up, no-holds-barred match. If he beats me, then you'll know that he's the real deal. But if I happen to win this one, I hope all of you in the locker room will be paying attention. Especially the Bastard Family.

Marcum: Big words from the former 'champ'...

CS: I'd like to apologize to all of you, the fans. I haven't been concentrating on winning lately, and for that I'm sorry. Tonight, win or lose, I want to give you all the best show I possibly can. I hope you'll give me the chance. Enjoy!

<Big cheers from the crowd as Sammitch walks out of the ring, sets the mike down on the announcers' table, and heads off into the locker room...>

As Sammitch leaves, 'Ace of Spades' sounds, and a new figure runs down the ramp wielding a table leg. Screaming like a maniac, he clambers into the ring and grabs a microphone

Charlie: Shuddup and listen, all of yez!

The crowd falls silent, shocked by the new arrival

Charlie: Now, I've got a little announcement to make, and it's for Joe Mama. Joe, I know what's gone wrong for you over the last few weeks

Cries of NOTHING! greet this announcement

C: You've consistently hung around with wimps and faggots. Sammitch was an asshole, and Mxy? I won't deny he's a great wrestler, and his family have a lot to be proud of, but what he was doing with you is a mystery!

The crowd mutter angrily, evidently unhappy with Charlie's somewhat ebullient remarks about a very popular team

C: You need someone more like yourself, with a hardcore attitude and the style to match. Somebody like me, for instance!

Silence falls over the crowd

C: I'm not gonna force you to take me along, because I honestly don't believe you need to. But, hey, anytime you wnat me around, I'm right here! And if it looks like you need it, I'll probably show at your fight with Sammitch tonight! Hell, it's legal, so maybe I will anyway!

Shriek the lips
Across ragged tongue,
Convulsing together.sing
Violently, move the jaw
Cry aloud. bound up the dead
Triumphantly

The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
You pray so hard on bloody knees.
The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
Down in the cool air I can see.

Hey, yeah - I’m the one that you wanted
Hey, yeah - I’m your superbeast
Hey, yeah - I’m the one that you wanted
Hey, yeah - I’m your superbeast


*Grimm enters the ring, mic in hand.

"Well, this is it. Our main event for the evening is almost upon us."

*The fans cheer loudly, clapping and screaming.

"Only we have a small problem. After the brutal matches at Conniver Series, and the problems with the officials being knocked senseless during the last Big Cheese title match, all of our referees have refused to officiate this match!"

*Crowd booes the refs.

"No, no, I understand, this will be one of the most hardcore matches in RDCW history! They have a right to worry about their health. So, I have decided that, there will be a special referee for this match. And that referee is. . ."

*Pauses as crowd waits, silently.

"ME!"

*Crowd erupts again at this announcement.

"There will be a winner in this match, and I. . ."

*Grimm is interrupted as familiar music sounds from the speakers throughout the Cheesedome. . .

Generals gathered in their masses
just like witches at black masses
evil minds that plot destruction
sorcerers of death's construction

*The Doctor appears on the ramp with mic in hand. Grimm looks annoyed by the interruption but waits as the GM makes his way into the ring.*

To start off with, I have to thank you, Grimm, for taking over the role of GM while I was away. I hope you enjoyed your short reign, because.... well, things are about to change for you. You see, unbeknownst to everyone else, I was not simply taking time off to lay back in some resort or fancy hotel. I was on what is referred to as a working vacation.

I began to realize that I didn't know too much about the wrestlers on my roster. I don't know where the Captian of Outer Space gets his saucer's oil changed. I'm not aware of BSAMS's favorite color. Hell, I don't even know what sex Son of Mxy is! So I decided to take some time away from the book and the arena to do some digging on the men and women of the RDCW. And the first name on my list was yours.

*Grimm crosses his arms and wait for an explaination.*

Grimm, I want to take you and all of the fans here in the Cheesedome on a little trip back in time. Come with me. It's 1992. There is no RDCW. The Hellions haven't formed for their first rampage through wrestling's tag team ranks. Nowhereman doesn't exist. Even the beast known as Grimm doesn't exist. But there is a seventeen year-old young man by the name of Larry Grimmonowski who has stolen his grandfather's Plymouth. Instead of going to his high school prom, he drives over a hundred miles to Bogalusa, Louisiana to an outlaw wrestling promotion. With big dreams of fame and fortune, he steps into the square cirlce for his first match. He had no money for boots or fancy ring gear. Just his workboots and an old pair of jeans. A curtain jerker who the promoter had billed as The White Trash Kidd. He stepped into that ring and faced another newcomer to the business. A man who not only defeated him that night, but every Saturday night for the next two months. This man might have continued to hand young Larry his ass over and over again had he not been arrested and sent to the state penn for the illegal transport, selling, and use of livestock.

You see, Grimm, the question I had to ask myself was this: Could Larry Grimmonowski twelve years later face the very same man he was never able to pin? Can Grimm finally beat the long standing black smudge on his career?

*Grimm shakes his head in disbelief.*

Grimm: No. No, I heard he was dead. He was working in laundry.... a horrible accident.... the spin cycle.....!

The Doctor: No, Grimm, he is alive, well, and a free man in just under two weeks. With me being the charitable man I am, I have decided to assist a reformed man rejoin society. Waiting for him outside those barb wired fences and gun towers will be waiting a limo and a plane ticket to here, Roboken and the Cheesedome. So you can put the moth balls back into your dad's old church suit *(point to Grimm's outfit)* pocket and hang it back in the closet. It's time for you to pull out those ring boots and gear.

*Turns to the audience.*

The Doctor's back in the dome and in charge with the promise that the new year is going to be pure Havoc!

*Music hits as The Doctor leaves a visibly angered Grimm standing in the ring.*

I'm sick as a dog, but honor demands that you people get your Play-By-Play, so here it goes. Note: I'll leave the debate portion of this month's PPV to either Rex and King Snarf or to Grimm and the newly-returned Doctor...


Triple-Threat Double Championship Match: Bibbo vs Wednesday vs (Champion) Chris Oakley

The Hardcore and the Inter-Cunt-Inental Titles were on the line in Arma-Gadda-Da-Vidda's opening match. Chris Oakley entered the ring and was immediately jumped by both Wednesday and Bibbo. Though he tried to gain the upper hand, the law of numbers was against Chris Oakley in the early goings, as both challengers used brutal brawling tactics to soften up the champion. A See-You-Next-Tuesday Superkick from Wednesday stunned Chris Oakley, but Wednesday's attempt at a pin was broken up by Bibbo who then flung Wednesday into the ropes and clotheslined him over. Once Bibbo was alone with a still-stunned Chris Oakley, a Bibbo Bomb and a quick pin won Bibbo the Hardcore Title!

Bibbo tried to extend the three into a six-count in hopes of sweeping the match, but Wednesday was able to break up the pin in time. The match continued as Bibbo and Wednesday battled in the center of the ring, giving Oakley enough time to shake off the cobwebs. Upon hearing that he'd already lost the Hardcore Title, Chris flew into a blind rage and threw himself at his opponents. A series of fists and kicks gave Chris Oakley an advantage which he extended by delivering a Cape Cod Crunch to Wednesday and a Big Dig to Bibbo. With both men lying in the ring, Chris took a page from another playbook by picking up Wednesday and executing The Green Monster, driving Wednesday's head into Bibbo's gut. A double pin, and Chris Oakley retained the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title. However, after getting his hand raised, Chris threw Wednesday over the top rope and started to beat on an already-unconscious Bibbo, who became the victim of a second Green Monster.


Women's Boobie Belt

Meeko continued her dominance in the Women's Division. Difficult Kind's technical prowess was no match for Meeko's onslaught-style wrestling. Meeko overpowered the challenger, delivering a series of brutal Meeko-Plexes, before finishing the job with a Meeko-Bomb. After getting the pin, Meeko stood up, pointed to the Women's Boobie Belt on her shoulder, then pointed at the camera and mouthed the words "You're next, Nuriko!!!"


Six-Man Tag Match

Partisanship was the name of the game as Liberal faced off against Conservative. The Liberals tried to throw off the Conservatives' slow, methodical pace with some high-flying, high-impact wrestling, but would ultimtely fail when Klinton was put in the Weapon Of Mass Destruction by G-Man and WBAM (a 3D). After the match, Dave The Wonder Boy started spouting of some partisan rhetoric, but the crowd's boos drowned him out.

Lightweight Non-Title Match-Up

Son of Mxy was the first to enter the ring amid cheers from his adoring fans. However, cheers turned to boos when the newest member of the Bastardo Family, James Fantastic, came to the ring accompanied by Two-Ton Tommy. The match started, and the crowd watched as the two competitors treaed them to some great high-flying wrestling. James Fantastic showed that, even as a new-comer, he could go toe-to-toe with the best. However, the tide turned against him when the Second Generation Superstar executed a textbook Mxyplex. Son of Mxy ran to the ropes to deliver a running Elbow Smash, a move that would soften James Fantastic enough for him to deliver the Son Of Mxyplex, when Two-Ton Tommy threw a fist into the back of SoM's right knee. The punch caused Son of Mxy to stagger into a Classy Kick by his opponent. James then delivered a Flying Fantastic to complete the upset.


Women's Tag Team Match

Uschi and Shazamgrrl1 entered the ring, whereupon Shazamgrrl1 "treated" the crowd to a diatribe about a Geoff Johns and "Freddie Marvel's cape". The monologue was cut short, though, as Stareena and ButterRican came to, and cleared out, the ring. The match began with Stareena and Uschi locking up. But Stareena would quickly get the upper hand and, after Stareena's "Wiccan Law Of Three" (three concurrent German suplexes), Uschi had no choice but to tag out to Shazamgrrl1 as Stareena brought ButterRican into the action. ButterRican would make quick work of her opponent with the Latina Fury, and a Three-Way would finish the job. Chalk another one up for Stareena and ButterRican!

Main Event: Eurotrash Title Match

Black-Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" played as Captain Sammitch entered the ring, bo staff in hand, Meeko by his side. A few moments after Sammitch's music died, Joe Mama came out with a baseball bat in hand. Upon entering the ring, he walked over to Grimm and the two former competitors went nose-to-nose, arguing about something. Joe Mama was heard saying "Just make sure you call it down the middle, Larry!" before he walked to his corner and placed his bat by the ringpost. Captain Sammitch handed the bo to Meeko, and the match began.

For a while, neither man seemed able to get the upper hand. Captain Sammitch's martial arts style was neutralized by Joe Mama's Greco-Roman roots. At one point, Sammitch was able to deliver on a leg sweep, knocking Joe flat on his back. But, as Sammitch tried to get a pin, Joe Mama kicked his legs up and locked Sammitch's head and arm in a submission choke maneuver. However, Sammitch was able to hit a few pressure points on Joe Mama to break the hold and hobble him a bit.

And that's when the Bastardos hit.

Two-Ton Tommy and Chris Oakley rushed to the ring, followed by Louie Bastardo. Tommy started to whale on Captain Sammitch while Chris focused on Joe Mama and Louie issued commands from the center of the ring. However, the former allies managed to fight back. Joe Mama threw a punch that connected squarely with Chris Oakley's jewels, doubling him over and allowing the Eurotrash Champion to connect with another headbutt to the bridge of the nose. Oakley fell to the mat holding his his nose and his balls. Meanwhile, Captain Sammitch was in the middle of a Staff Meeting with Two-Ton Tommy. Captain Sammitch, having finished with Tommy, turned to see Joe Mama delivering blow after blow to Luoie Bastardo. Joe then turned to his opponent, mouthed the words "Heart Attack", and set up Louie as Sammitch executed the Hart Foundation's finisher. The two stood over the fallen manager, then Joe motioned for the Sammitch Slam. Captain Sammitch climbed to the top rope with Joe Mama's aid and Louie Bastardo on Sammitch's shoulder, then executed the power slam, driving the Leader of the Bastardo Family to the mat. The fans cheered as Captain Sammitch stood up and dragged Louie Bastardo out of the ring.

The celebration would be short-lived, though. As Captain Sammitch turned to high-five his opponent, he caught a Louisville Slugger to the gut. He fell to his hands and knees, gasping for breath, as Joe Mama worked him over with jabs to the ribs and strategic kicks. Satisfied that his opponent was softened enough, Joe Mama lifted Captain Sammitch onto his shoulders and performed the East Coast Hammer.

However, as Joe Mama was getting ready to climb up to execute a Flying Teabag Slam, the new wrestler known as Charlie entered the ring. He stood in between the Champion and his Challenger, yelling something to Joe Mama. As Joe Mama got off the top rope, Charlie lifted Captain Sammitch up and delivered a British Bulldog, then a Bulldog Brain. Content with his work, Charlie motioned to to Joe Mama that Captain Sammitch was "all his", then left the ring.

Joe Mama grinned at Grimm, walked over to Captain Sammitch, and slapped the Challenger in the Joe Mama-Lock. Looking over at the guest ref, Joe Mama yelled "Check the arm, Larry!" Grimm, with a look of anger on his face, slid onto the mat and lifted Sammitch arm.

It dropped limply to the mat. One.

As Grimm lifted the arm a second time, Mystery dropped from the rafters, with a black baseball bat in hand.

Sammitch's arm dropped a second time. Two.

Joe Mama stared at Mystery Man, confused. He said something to the man in black, who responded by raising two fingers to Joe Mama, the English flip-off. Then Mystery Man swung the bat and hit Joe cleanly between the eyes, causing Joe Mama to break the hold and fall to the mat, bleeding and unconscious.

Mystery Man glanced down at the prone body of Joe Mama, then at Captain Sammitch, then over at Grimm. Then he dragged Sammitch's body on top of Joe Mama and motioned to Grimm to count the pin. Captain Sammitch is the new Eurotrash Champion!!!

As the crowd boo'd, Mystery Man motioned for a mic. Then, in the center of the ring, Mystery Man untied his mask and slipped it off to reveal...

"Yes,its me,I'm back!
You,Joe Mama & the rest of the RDCW are gonna learn the real meaning of pain!"


The crowd is visibly stunned as it would appear are most of the locker room!

Nowhereman drops the mic & stands in the middle of the ring with his ebony baseball bat held above his head!