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Main Event: Eurotrash Title Match

Black-Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" played as Captain Sammitch entered the ring, bo staff in hand, Meeko by his side. A few moments after Sammitch's music died, Joe Mama came out with a baseball bat in hand. Upon entering the ring, he walked over to Grimm and the two former competitors went nose-to-nose, arguing about something. Joe Mama was heard saying "Just make sure you call it down the middle, Larry!" before he walked to his corner and placed his bat by the ringpost. Captain Sammitch handed the bo to Meeko, and the match began.

For a while, neither man seemed able to get the upper hand. Captain Sammitch's martial arts style was neutralized by Joe Mama's Greco-Roman roots. At one point, Sammitch was able to deliver on a leg sweep, knocking Joe flat on his back. But, as Sammitch tried to get a pin, Joe Mama kicked his legs up and locked Sammitch's head and arm in a submission choke maneuver. However, Sammitch was able to hit a few pressure points on Joe Mama to break the hold and hobble him a bit.

And that's when the Bastardos hit.

Two-Ton Tommy and Chris Oakley rushed to the ring, followed by Louie Bastardo. Tommy started to whale on Captain Sammitch while Chris focused on Joe Mama and Louie issued commands from the center of the ring. However, the former allies managed to fight back. Joe Mama threw a punch that connected squarely with Chris Oakley's jewels, doubling him over and allowing the Eurotrash Champion to connect with another headbutt to the bridge of the nose. Oakley fell to the mat holding his his nose and his balls. Meanwhile, Captain Sammitch was in the middle of a Staff Meeting with Two-Ton Tommy. Captain Sammitch, having finished with Tommy, turned to see Joe Mama delivering blow after blow to Luoie Bastardo. Joe then turned to his opponent, mouthed the words "Heart Attack", and set up Louie as Sammitch executed the Hart Foundation's finisher. The two stood over the fallen manager, then Joe motioned for the Sammitch Slam. Captain Sammitch climbed to the top rope with Joe Mama's aid and Louie Bastardo on Sammitch's shoulder, then executed the power slam, driving the Leader of the Bastardo Family to the mat. The fans cheered as Captain Sammitch stood up and dragged Louie Bastardo out of the ring.

The celebration would be short-lived, though. As Captain Sammitch turned to high-five his opponent, he caught a Louisville Slugger to the gut. He fell to his hands and knees, gasping for breath, as Joe Mama worked him over with jabs to the ribs and strategic kicks. Satisfied that his opponent was softened enough, Joe Mama lifted Captain Sammitch onto his shoulders and performed the East Coast Hammer.

However, as Joe Mama was getting ready to climb up to execute a Flying Teabag Slam, the new wrestler known as Charlie entered the ring. He stood in between the Champion and his Challenger, yelling something to Joe Mama. As Joe Mama got off the top rope, Charlie lifted Captain Sammitch up and delivered a British Bulldog, then a Bulldog Brain. Content with his work, Charlie motioned to to Joe Mama that Captain Sammitch was "all his", then left the ring.

Joe Mama grinned at Grimm, walked over to Captain Sammitch, and slapped the Challenger in the Joe Mama-Lock. Looking over at the guest ref, Joe Mama yelled "Check the arm, Larry!" Grimm, with a look of anger on his face, slid onto the mat and lifted Sammitch arm.

It dropped limply to the mat. One.

As Grimm lifted the arm a second time, Mystery dropped from the rafters, with a black baseball bat in hand.

Sammitch's arm dropped a second time. Two.

Joe Mama stared at Mystery Man, confused. He said something to the man in black, who responded by raising two fingers to Joe Mama, the English flip-off. Then Mystery Man swung the bat and hit Joe cleanly between the eyes, causing Joe Mama to break the hold and fall to the mat, bleeding and unconscious.

Mystery Man glanced down at the prone body of Joe Mama, then at Captain Sammitch, then over at Grimm. Then he dragged Sammitch's body on top of Joe Mama and motioned to Grimm to count the pin. Captain Sammitch is the new Eurotrash Champion!!!

As the crowd boo'd, Mystery Man motioned for a mic. Then, in the center of the ring, Mystery Man untied his mask and slipped it off to reveal...