Coolness. I'll keep it up then.
*****
Almost every night, the residence of the Alfords, tucked away from city limits on its own little hill, is dark and empty. But on this night, its routine silence is disturbed by a soft jingling at the knob of the front door, followed by the door opening and two figures sauntering in.
"You should, like, teach classes on how to do that," one of them said to the other. "You know, spread the wealth."
"There's nothing to teach, it just makes sense to me. This gift doesn't keep on giving. Get the light for me, would you, Lavi?"
"Of course. It's not like I get to do anything else on this mission." Lavi flipped a switch, shedding light throughout the house for the first time that night. The two were surprised to find themselves standing right in front of the entrance into the house's living room. "Well...that was easy."
"Yeah, he said it would probably be in the living room, right?"
"Yeah-huh. So the hard part is over." The two entered the living room and fanned out to opposite ends, scanning the walls and floor. Lavi eventually called out in a hushed tone, "Hey, Asad, the window here's locked from the outside, so we'll have to leave the way we came in."
"Check," Asad called back.
"Got anything at your end?"
"Just a weird ass collection of old weapons or something. These things look older than George Burns."
"Dated reference, Burns is dead."
"Is he? Shit. I've been away too long. Alright, let's check out the safe." Asad and Lavi both silently converged at the fireplace at the far end of the living room, over which hung a Munch print. "So what's this one called?"
"Evening on Karl Johan Street. The Scream's better, but I like this one, too."
"I don't think either belongs over a fireplace. When you have guests over, they usually want something happier to stare at when they're not paying attention to you."
"This guy once did a painting called The Great Masturbator. You should bring that up when you see a hot chick checking out a Munch in a museum sometime."
"Yeah, I'll do that," Asad replied. While the two were discussing artistic nuances, Asad had already pulled off the painting to reveal a compartment behind, protected further by a lock.
"Will you need to be quiet while you do this?"
"Makes no difference, I just need you to look out for me." Asad wheeled the combination a little before slowing down to a methodical pace.
"You've got five minutes," came a voice from a third party that made Lavi start violently.
Without missing a beat, Asad said evenly, "For future reference, Lavi, when you're on lookout, don't be watching me."
"Oy vey, you just took years of my life," Lavi panted while his breathing returned to normal. "Why weren't you here earlier, Kyle?"
Kyle shrugged. "Wasn't a need. You two still may be teenagers, but you don't need a babysitter." Meanwhile, Asad continued to methodically turn the combination left and right, eventually putting in a five number sequence that unlocked the safe.
"What is it exactly?" Lavi asked. "Super hearing? Can you hear the tumblers or something?"
"I keep telling you," Asad started while turning the handle and opening the safe door. "It's nothing like that. I can't explain it, it just makes sense to me while I'm doing it. Alright, then, let's see what we have." The three gathered around while Asad reached into the safe and felt around. "Hm, only one thing in here." He pulled out a round object, small enough to be held in two hands, wider than it was thick.
"It feels like a toy or something," Asad commented before handing it to Lavi. Lavi ran his hand over the surface--it felt quite smooth, but had a small patch of glass as well as some other bumps and dimples.
"It's like a model spacecraft or something, very childlike. Only..." Lavi trailed off.
"Only what?" asked Asad.
"Well, it's got, like, little holes where legs or something could come out, right? But there aren't any buttons or something, that you'd expect on a kid's toy, to bring the legs out. And look inside here--" Lavi indicated the glass. "That's a lot of fine detail for a model, isn't it?"
"You're absolutely right," Kyle interjected, taking the object for himself to observe. "There's also the setup for something like a ramp on its bottom, next to where the legs would be, but nothing to bring that out, either. See those buttons on the inside?" Kyle paused while the other two once again peered inside the glass to the model's inside. He hesitated and slowly said the next sentence. "I think this is the real thing." Before letting that sink in, however, Kyle handed the object back to Asad. "We've wasted too much time. They're in the driveway."
"You're fucking kidding, right?" Lavi asked as Asad put the object back in the safe and shut it, then replaced the painting. Immediately, the sound of a door slamming not far away could be heard. "Oh, fucking--" Lavi bolted to the front door, only to see that a figure was about to open it. Lavi turned back, "Hey, guys, where do we--" and stopped himself as he realized he was alone in the room. The door opened, and Lavi positioned himself right against it, but without putting any pressure on it, as the figure on the other side slowly pushed it open.
"Clive, dear," a woman's voice, inches away from Lavi but with the door between them, called to the outside. "You realize you left the door open and the lights on?"
"I'm sorry, dear," came a male voice from not too far away as the sound of another car door slamming echoed. "Tough few nights lately, you know."
"Oh, I don't mind," the woman sighed as she entered the house and strolled toward the living room, shedding a fur coat. "It's the most interesting thing to happen to me tonight." The door slowly started to close, leaving Lavi in plain sight behind the woman. Suddenly, Clive threw open the door with enough force that Lavi had to jump forward to avoid being hit full on.
"Let's forget bad things," Clive cried out as he bounded after the woman in the living room. They shared a laugh and tumbled onto a couch together. Lavi took the distraction to sneak out the front door before it closed again, then sprinted through the driveway and down the hill without looking back. After a minute, he finally slowed down to catch his breath, before feeling a shoulder knock him to one side. A second of panic engulfed him until a familiar laugh calmed him down. "Asad..."
"Way to be, man, way to be!" Asad shouted joyously. "That's the toughest situation I've seen you get out of!"
"Yeah, how the fuck did you get out?" Lavi panted exasperatedly.
"Went up the stairs and out a window on the second. You really need to avoid hitting panic mode and think more logically next time."
"Man, I'm not allowing there to be a next time. If I'm told I got five minutes, I'm just booking, no questions asked. What about Kyle?"
Asad shrugged. "Man's always disappearing into thin air. He was probably already back with Velo while we were providing the theatrics. They should make a movie about us."
Lavi nodded, then slowly smiled and shook his head slowly. "Speaking of which, the night's still young. Let's get the report back to Velo. The sooner we're through with this, the sooner we can get back to the real excitement!" The two shared a laugh and walked away from the hillside.
