OCEAN’S 12 – It’s just like OCEAN’S 11, but with one more forgettable supporting character!
FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX – It’s also like OCEAN’S 11, but with a plane crash.
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA – A film version of a Broadway musical directed by Joel Schumacher. Somebody call Guiness, we’ve found the gayest thing ever!
HOTEL RWANDA – I think the Eagles said it best when they sang, "You can check out any time you want, but you can never be sure you won’t perish in a horrible, senseless genocide."
THE AVIATOR – Oh, sure, he was an aviator, but they also could’ve called it THE NUTCASE WHO STORES HIS OWN URINE IN MILK BOTTLES.
BLADE: TRINITY – It’s THE GODFATHER III of BLADE movies!
SIDEWAYS – Paul Giamatti puts the "whine" and the "cunt" in wine country.
THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU – When I went to see THE LIFE AQAUTIC, I accidentally saw THE SEA INSIDE instead. I sat there thinking, "This isn’t funny, but Bill Murray’s Spanish is impeccable." Then when I actually did see THE LIFE AQUATIC, I thought, "This isn’t funny, but Bill Murray’s Spanish is impeccable."
A LOVE SONG FOR BOBBY LONG – Key word: Long.
THE ASSASSINATION OF RICHARD NIXON – Finally Sean Penn makes another comedy. Welcome back, Spicoli!
FINDING NEVERLAND – Make a left at Michael Jackson’s giraffe.
