*Back from break, "It's A Small World" has finally stopped playing over the speakers, and The Crotch is about to conduct an interview.*
The Crotch: I'm standing outside the locker room with former Hardcore Porn Champion PenWing and his manager, Women's Boobie Champion Meeko. First off, I'd like to congratulate the two of you on your win last week, and you in particular, PenWing, on your triumphant return.
PenWing: Thank you crotch.
Meeko: It was a good match.
The Crotch: Yes it was, and I'd like to ask you about that first. Does Joe Mama's interference in the match mean that your faction is back together?
PenWing: Interference? Crotch, Chris Oakley was about to attack Sneaky Bunny, after interfering in the match himself and giving me quite a headache. If anything, we owe Joe for the save on that one. As for our former faction, Joe does what he does. I have no idea what his plan is.
The Crotch: How about tonight? PenWing, you have been entered in a tripple threat match against Bibbo and the Hardcore Porn Champ, Wednesday. You are also participating in the Rumble. Do you really think you'll still be able to be eliminated from the Rumble tonight after you lose your title shot? It is a hardcore match.
PenWing: Crotch, have you ever been in a hardcore match?
The Crotch: Well, no.
PenWing: Crotch, in order to win a hardcore match, you have to be able to take a beating that would force most people to take a month off. Crotch, I took almost two months off. I took the time off not because of a hardcore match, but because I was attacked from behind, by a two-ton loser. Last week, everyone saw what happened when that particular loser got in an actual match with me. Now, I don't know if I'm going to win back the Hardcore Porn Title. What I do know, is that the clock is ticking. We are in overtime. Sudden Death rules. When Wednesday steps into that ring and hands the ref the title belt, he is no longer Hardcore Porn Champion Wednesday. He is just another player in the game. And he has a powerplay tonight, because while Bibbo may not be there to help him, he's not there to help me, either. And whatever happens in that match, I can't speak for my opponents, but I will walk out of that ring, and later tonight, I will walk back into the ring, and I will make an impact in the Rumble.
The Crotch: Yes, the Rumble. How do you plan on fighting off the collective power of the Bastardo Family?
PenWing: I won't be alone in there. The Eurotrash Champion Captain Sammitch will also be in the Rumble, and I think we showed last week that we can handle the Bastardo Family.
The Crotch: But can you, Meeko, handle the Bastardo Family? Tonight, you defend the Women's Boobie Belt against Nuriko. After the way she tossed you around last week, how do you think you can possibly win this match?
Meeko: Nuriko is fine wrestler. One of the best in the women's division, but toss me around last week? She was tapping to the Meeko-Lock, and had she been the legal woman, that would have ended the match right there.
*The Doctor is in his office watching the interview when he notices The Crotch's hand moving in pocket.*
The Doctor: Oh shit!
*The Doctor bolts out of his office hoping to intervene before it's too late, while PenWing grabs The Crotch and throws him into the wall.*
PenWing: You sick bastard! Just what do you think you're doing?
The Crotch: I don't know what you're talking about PenWing, let go of me!
*King Snarf Rules, who was watching the interview from down the hall runs to the Crotch's aid.*
KSR: Hey! You can't do that!
*PenWing releases The Crotch and holds KSR at arms length.*
PenWing: "Stay out of this, Kissass."
*The Crotch tries to sneak away when Meeko throws him back into the wall.*
Meeko: And just where do you think you're going? We're going to finish this!
*The Doctor comes running down the hall yelling-*
The Doctor: PenWing! Meeko! Just what the hell do you think you're doing! Let go of them! NOW!
PenWing: Did you see what he was doing?
The Doctor: Why do you think I came racing out here?
Meeko: I want them. In the ring. Next week. Versus PenWing and me.
The Doctor: Are you insane? Everyone knows what the two of you will do to them in a match. If I allow this, who's going pay for the new interview team I'm going to need to hire while these two are in the hospital? Because I'm not going to go over budget for that!
PenWing: Then let them name the match. Whatever they want. Hardcore, No DQ, Lumberjack, hell, they can name a special guest referee if they want.
The Doctor: They name the stipulation? And you'll agree to it? Even if they name the special guest referee as, say, Chris Oakley?
Meeko: Even if they want Oakley to ref the match.
The Doctor: One more thing. They don't get any Bastardo Family members at ringside, and you don't get Captain Sammitch and Sneaky Bunny.
Meeko: Fine.
The Doctor: And if they can't perform their duties because of injuries they aquire in the match, the two of you will cover the cost of the new interviewers out of your own paychecks while they recover.
*Meeko and PenWing look at each other for a moment.*
Meeko: We'll be careful not to take them out of commission.
The Doctor: Damn right you will. All right. Release him, Meeko. You've got your match. The stipulation will be announed at the beginning of Havoc.
*Meeko releases The Crotch, and she and PenWing go back into the locker room to prepare for their matches.*
