*Following the Fenway Park Match, the RDCW Rumble takes a forty minute intermission to clean up the ring and arena. Twenty minutes into the intermission, ring announcer James White attempts to perform to the . . .enjoyment. . .no, that's not it. . .disgust. . .yeah, disgust of the audience.

After the intermission, James White returns to the ring to announce the beginning of the Rumble. “Thank you, thank you, and I’d just like to remind you all that I have cds for sale at our merchandise booth. . .”

*Crowd booes at the mention of James White’s terrible music.

“It is now time for the RDCW Rumble. First off, the contestant who has the unfortunate experience of being the #1 entry. . .”

“Yeahhhh, they come to snuff the rooster. . .” blares out over the speakers in the Cheesedome.

“. . .Chris Oakley!”

“. . .but you know he ain’t gonna dieee!!!!” On the last note, Oakley walks through the curtain and out onto the rampway. Battered, bruised, and holding his ribs. Most of the crowd booes him, some laugh at his misfortune earlier in the night, while still others applaud his determination to continue on and to fight in the Rumble.

Monroe: "Chris Oakley looks beaten half to death, Madman!"

Marcum: "Yeah, and if he goes through with this, someone may send him the rest of the way there!"

Monroe: "You have to respect him for continuing to fight after what Joe Mama and Louie Bastardo did to him earlier!"

Marcum: "Well, he always did have more guts than brains."

Defiantly, Oakley steps into the ring to await the #2 entry. . .Bibbo! Bibbo storms the ring and the two former Hardcore Porn champs begin pounding away at each other, trading lefts and rights. Bibbo, however, has had more time to rest and soon takes the advantage, stomping away at the former IC champ in a corner. The countdown begins as the crowd counts along to the next entrant. . .Wednesday! Wednesday hits the ring and it’s a three way brawl as Wednesday and Bibbo pick up where they left off earlier in the night, while Oakley lays in the corner.

As Wednesday and Bibbo continue to battle in the ring, the countdown hits again and Senior Perdicion enters. Oakley smiles as the fresh Perdicion works over the two battered
hardcore warriors. Oakley recovers and he and Perdicion stomp away at Bibbo and Wednesday. The countdown hits again and a familiar howling reverberates through the arena as Howler blasts through the curtain and into the ring, aimed straight for Senior Perdicion.

Howler and Perdicion brawl around the ring and Howler whips Perdicion into the ropes and sends him flying up and over with a thunderous clothesline. The massive luchadore manages to wrap his legs around Howler’s head, however and yanks him out of the ring as well with a huracanrana to the floor! Both men eliminated, they brawl down the rampway as the countdown starts again. The next contestant actually jumps the count and the Hulk rips the curtain down to batter Howler and Perdicion with it on the floor.

Officials finally manage to wrangle the Hulk into the ring, where he begins tossing Oakley, Bibbo, and Wednesday around at his leisure. The next contestant in. . .PJP! The returning PJP immediately jumps on the Hulk's back, attempting to lock in a sleeper hold. The Hulk shrugs PJP off and prepares to throw him out when the countdown finishes.

Everclear’s “When it All Goes Wrong Again” starts and the Hulk drops PJP in the middle of the ring and smiles evilly. King Snarf walks out onto the rampway, holding the RDCW World
Heavyweight Cheese Title aloft with both hands as the crowd booes him heartily.

Monroe: "The World Heavyweight Cheese Champion is about to enter the Rumble!"

Marcum: "He's my pick to win it!"

Monroe: "Why do you say that?"

Marcum: "Cuz he's the champ! Duh!"

Snarf, realizing the Hulk is in the ring waiting for him, takes his time getting into the ring. He walks around the arena, brandishing the title, and mocking various fans. The Hulk reaches over the top rope, and grabs Snarf by the head. As the RDCW champ squirms in the creature’s grip, PJP, Oakley, Bibbo, and Wednesday rush the behemoth in an attempt
to work together to eliminate him. The Hulk is fighting on two fronts, as he tries to pull Snarf into the ring, and to keep from being eliminated himself.

Finally, he has to release Snarf to fight off the competitors attempting to throw him out. Snarf turns and whacks the beast in the head with the title, knocking him senseless, and allowing him to be tossed out. Oakley backs up and bounces off the ropes, slamming into Bibbo and Wednesday and knocking them out on top of the Hulk as well. Snarf slides into the ring under the bottom rope, and also clobbers PJP with the belt, and eliminates him.

Marcum: "What a brilliant competitor our Champion is!"

Snarf turns, still holding the belt high, and comes face to bloody face with a smiling Chris Oakley. Snarf backs away, begging off Chris, as Oakley rubs his hands together gleefully.

Monroe: "Oakley's gonna take his revenge on the Bastardos right now!"

Marcum: "That's not right! Snarf is innocent!"

Monroe: "How can you say that? He was probably in on it all from the start!"

Both men fail to notice the countdown has ended until Metallica’s “Creeping Death” rattles the speakers in the Cheesedome. Snarf and Oakley temporarily forget each other as they turn towards the rafters to await Nowhereman.

To their surprise, Nowhereman slides out from beneath the ring behind them and quickly bashes both competitors with his black baseball bat. Nowhereman takes particular relish in attacking King Snarf, as they fight around the ring, forgetting Oakley.

As Nowhereman attempts to eliminate Snarf, Charlie enters the ring and goes right after Nowhereman, continuing their conflict from earlier in the night. Brandishing his table leg,
he hits a Tower of London on the former GM, knocking him silly. Charlie and Snarf dump Nowhereman over the top rope just as the Black Eyed Peas “Let’s Get It Started” starts up as the EuroTrash Champion Captain Sammitch heads to the ring, Meeko in tow. Nowhereman takes a shot at Snarf from the outside of the ring before heading to the back.

Sammitch joins Charlie in pounding away on Snarf as the two each take a side and punch the Big Cheese Champ back and forth between the two of them. The fans howl in delight at Snarf’s predicament as he backs away from the two before falling flat on his face! Sammitch motions to the fans for a Sammitch Slam just as a crazed Chris Oakley jumps on
him from behind and begins pummeling him. Charlie attempts to pull Oakley off only to get an elbow to the jaw.

The countdown finishes again and the caveman Urg makes his way into the ring, stepping over the top rope. Like the Hulk before him, Urg immediately goes after everyone in the
ring, tossing competitors aside at will. Oakley takes a Caveman Crunch and goes down on the mat. Sammitch eats a Prehistoric Clothesline. Snarf and Charlie also get tossed
around the ring.

Monroe: "Urg's destroying everyone!"

Marcum: "He's my pick to win!"

Monroe: "I thought Snarf was your pick?"

Marcum: "He is!"

#13 enters the ring as Chewy Walrus steps in behind Urg and awaits the Caveman to turn around. Urg turns and Chewy blasts full force into the behemoth with a Walrus Tusk Attack (Spear). Chewy and Sammitch work together on the caveman hitting a combined Walrus/Sammitch Slam on the monster.

Chewy and Sammitch whip Urg into the ropes and attempt to double team him again, but the cavemen hits both of them with a Prehistoric Clothesline, just as the countdown finishes again. Highwayman enters the ring and goes right for Urg, belting him with huge right hands. He presses Urg against the ropes, but Urg seizes the biker in a chokehold and picks him up, chokeslamming him to the arena floor.

Monroe: "What a monster!"

Highwayman pounds on the ring apron and kicks the stairs in disgust as he walks to the back. Urg next grabs Chewy Walrus and sends him flying over the ropes. Charlie attempts to hit a Tower of London on the beast, but Urg also sends him flying over the top and out of the ring. Urg roars in defiance at the remaining competitors, Snarf, Oakley, and Sammitch.

“Heeeeeeeerrrrrrreeeee we are. . .born to be kings. . .we’re the Princes of the Universe. . .” #15, the Captain of Outer Space, drives out to the ring in his UFO shaped golf cart.

Monroe: "Number fifteen, Madman, we're halfway to the end, and Chris Oakley is still in there fighting!"

Marcum: "So is King Snarf still in there fighting!"

Monroe: "Well, you're right. . ."

Discarding his Donkey Lovin Tag Title, he jumps into the ring and hits Urg from behind with a low blow. The crowd goes insane as the four men unite and dump the cavemen out of the ring, eliminating him from the Rumble! Captain Sammitch sees an opening and tosses Captain of Outer Space out directly behind the giant. The tag champ drives his golf cart back to the back.

Monroe: "Well, easy come, easy go."

Marcum: "Canceled! Just like Enterprise!"

The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."