The fans join in counting down as #16, Winged Creature, enters the Rumble. The Legbreakerer considers a target for a moment, before going after the EuroTrash Champ. Creature and Sammitch square off, while Oakley attempts to stalk Snarf around the ring.
As the four men go at it, the countdown begins again and Stupid Dogg is the next man in the Rumble! Dogg helps his tag partner as the Legbreakererses work over Sammitch in the
corner. Dogg then turns and kicks Creature in the groin and dumps him over the top rope. “Every man for himself, tonight, buddy.” he says, before returning to Sammitch.
“Princes of the Universe” starts up again, as Notwedge heads to ringside. The crowd goes wild as Notwedge enters the ring. Just as he does so, Johnny Evil appears on the
Cheese-O-Tron screaming “Remember, you fools! $10,000 to the man who eliminates Notwedge from the Rumble! Get him!”
Monroe: “As if they needed any extra incentive to win! Notwedge is a marked man!”
Marcum: “Notwedge is a crazy freak! Johnny Evil’s brilliant! Almost as brilliant as Louie Bastardo!”
Stupid Dogg decides to go after the bounty and charges Notwedge with a clothesline. NW ducks and drops the Legbreakerer into the ropes with a drop toehold!
Fat Retard: “DROP TOEHOLD!”
Monroe: “Oh, lord, who woke him up?”
Marcum: “Not me. . .”
The countdown begins again and “Street Fighting Man” plays as James Fantastic heads out to the ring, still attempting to wipe away bits of MisterJLA’s sperm. Fantastic
attempts to go after the bounty and Notwedge, but ends up running into Stupid Dogg. Dazed, Dogg wanders backwards into Notwedge’s grip, as the Donkey Lovin Tag Champ suplexes the Legbreakerer out of the ring and onto the floor.
In another ring corner, King Snarf is pounding away on Chris Oakley, and Fantastic immediately hits Snarf from behind with a low blow. Snarf crumbles to the canvas as Fantastic gloats and attempts to help Oakley up. Both men are knocked down however, as Notwedge and Sammitch hit them with simultaneous dropkicks!
The two shake hands and look at each other for a moment, before attempting to toss each other out of the ring.
Marcum: “What idiots! They should work together to throw out the Bastardos!”
Monroe: “It’s every man for himself! Besides, who even knows who’s a member of the Bastardos anymore? Louie publicly fired Oakley and James Fantastic tonight!”
The countdown finishes again as we discover #20 is Lightweight Faggot Champ, Son of Mxy.
Monroe: “We’re two thirds of the way into the Rumble, and the number one entry, Chris Oakley, is still in there!”
Marcum: “He’s lasted a lot longer than I thought he would, that’s for sure. But also, #8 King Snarf, the Champ is still in there, too!”
SoM enters the ring to thunderous applause and is immediately targeted by James Fantastic. As Fantastic readies for a Classy Kick, Notwedge and Sammitch grab him and dump him over the top rope.
Monroe: “Is that what you had in mind, Marcum?”
Marcum: “Shut up. This is terrible. They should be going after Notwedge and the money!”
Sammitch, SoM, and Notwedge begin working together to eliminate Oakley and Snarf. “Badd Company” starts up over the loudspeakers as Balls Nasty slowly walks into the
Rumble with a smirk on his face.
Balls Nasty steps into the ring and takes a shot at every one of the faces with brutal, forearm smashes. King Snarf offers a hand to shake and Nasty grabs it, and kicks Snarf in
the midsection.
Marcum: “That’s fucked up. That ain’t right.”
El Daga hits the ring and goes right for the fresh Balls Nasty. Nasty ducks a clothesline from Daga and hits the monstrous luchadore with a kick to the gut followed by a
Kentucky Waterfall. Nasty dumps the luchadore over the top rope, dusting his hands off and flipping his mullet afterward.
Balls goes after Notwedge, pounding away at the tag champs forehead. He tries to dump Notwedge out, but NW is saved by Captain Sammitch.
Marcum: “That was dumb! They could’ve dumped Notwedge out and split the money!”
Monroe: “Sammitch is too much of a good guy to care about things like that!”
Marcum: “Too much of a dummy, you mean.”
“SPAAAAANNDEEX MOOOOONNKEEEEY MAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!” is heard throughout the arena followed by "Won't Get Fooled Again" as Spamm and Rosalita head towards the ring. Snarf and NW are in
corner, Oakley and Sammitch in another, and SoM is being pounded down by Balls Nasty in another. Spamm immediately attacks Balls Nasty in true superhero fashion!
The brawls continue as the arena lights dim, then go red as the “Imperial March” plays.
Monroe: “Uh oh, you know what that means. . .”
Marcum: “Yeah, that means Grimm’s afraid to face Balls Nasty and he sent his boy to do his dirty work!”
Monroe: “He is not afraid!”
Darth climbs into the ring and competitors walk over to attempt to weaken the monster from below. Darth hits Sammitch with a Sithspawn, followed by one on Oakley, and one for Notwedge. Balls Nasty delivers a boot to the face of the robed monster, knocking him off of his feet. Balls attempts to dump Darth over the top rope, but Darth holds on as the countdown starts again.
“When there’s no more room down there in Hell anymore. . .Old Man Lucifer’s gonna laugh and slam the door. . .leavin’ us to walk the Earth when we die. . .make this place a living Hell for those left alive. . .” Grimm’s music hits and he walks slowly out onto the rampway as the fans go crazy.
Monroe: “I told you he wasn’t afraid!”
Marcum: “Then why is he taking so long?”
Grimm pauses on the rampway, looking directly at Balls Nasty. Grimm points towards Balls as the other competitors move silently away from the RDCW newcomer. As Grimm
stalks down to the ringside area, Balls backs away and steps over the top rope on the other side of the ring, hopping down to the floor just as Grimm enters the Rumble.
“I told you it wasn’t gonna happen like this, Grimmonowski. It’s gonna be on my terms, not yours. My terms.” Balls says, backing down the rampway to the locker room, as the fighting resumes.
Monroe: “It looks like Balls Nasty is the one who’s afraid, Madman!”
Marcum: “He’s just playing mind games.”
Grimm turns back to the match and begins to help Darth pound Spandex Monkey Man as Rosalita pounds on the ring apron excitedly. Chris Oakley somehow fights off Notwedge
and Son of Mxy’s attempt to eliminate him. Snarf and Capt. Sammitch battle each other, as Meeko exhorts the EuroTrash Champ to fight on.
The countdown finishes again as backwards7 steadfastly walks to ringside, lead by his manager, Brian Owlmouth. Brian looks at Rosalita’s skimpy outfit and enquires where he
can purchase one in his size. Rosalita looks confused.
Darth holds Spamm up as Grimm bounces off the ropes for a clothesline, but Spamm wriggles free of Darth’s grip and Grimm hits his partner, sending him up and over the rope! “Shit!” Grimm exclaims as Spamm plays to the approving crowd.
Marcum: “I told you! Grimm’s not thinking right! Balls Nasty is in his head!”
Backwards goes after Sammitch, attempting to lock the EuroTrash Champion in the dreaded Hackney Chin Grip, but Sammitch manages to avoid him, wrestling out of the
maneuver. Backwards and Sammitch begin a series of chain wrestling counters in the middle of the Rumble brawl.
Monroe: “Who would expect a wrestling match in the middle of all this?”
Marcum: “Too bad it ain’t Meeko and Rosalita!”
“Turning Japanese” hits and Two-Ton Tommy makes his way down to the ring, accompanied by Nuriko.
Monroe: “He’s #27, Madman, only three more men left!”
Marcum: “And we know who #30 is, Joe Mama!”
Monroe: “#1, Chris Oakley, and #8, King Snarf, are still in the match!”
Sammitch looks up from one of backwards’ counter holds just in time to see Tommy punch him right in the face. Tommy backs the EuroTrash Champ into a corner as
backwards goes in search of other prey. . .and finds it in King Snarf!
Monroe: “The ring is really starting to fill up here near the end!”
The fans count down again as Rex joins the Rumble, walking right into a WMD from Chris Oakley!
Monroe: “Oakley’s still fighting! Unbelievable!”
Once again, to be continued. . .
