Oakley gloats over Rex before turning and immediately getting hit with a Flying Banana Chop from Spandex Monkey Man! Outside the ring, Rosalita jumps for joy. As Spamm
stands up, Tommy nails him with a forearm smash. Tommy gets caught with a Sammitch Spin. Sammitch is caught in a Wildsault from King Snarf. As Snarf gets to his knees,
Grimm hits him with a Crapping Wizard! Grimm gets hit with a Subject-Verb Agreement from SoM! SoM is hit with a Reverse Monkey Death Drop from Notwedge! Notwedge
gets a Doldrum from backwards as Brian Owlmouth cheers his protege on. Backwards is hit with a Rex Kwan Do Attack from Rex, just as the countdown finishes again.
Monroe: “There are bodies all over the ring, Madman!”
Marcum: “It’s crazy! Who knows what will happen next?!”
Rex stands over the fallen bodies and pulls a small wad of paper out of his tights. He attempts to read some of his poetry, but is cut off as AC/DC’s Back in Black comes from
the speakers and PenWing strolls into the arena. In one hand, he carries one of his trusty Sherwoods. In the other, he lifts up his newly won Hardcore Porn title!
Monroe: “PenWing is the 29th man! What a lucky draw!”
Marcum: “Maybe not so lucky! Remember who #30 is!”
Rex attempts to rush PenWing, but gets nailed with the Sherwood! Pennie turns and blasts Tommy with the stick, cracking it over the head of the former Bastardo enforcer!
PenWing grabs Tommy and hurls him out of the ring!
Rex recovers and hits a T-Rex Bomb on backwards and tosses him to the floor! As Rex turns around, Grimm plants him with a DDT and tosses him out of the ring! SoM attempts
a cross bodyblock, but Grimm catches him. . .her. . .whatever and begins Gorilla Pressing the Lightweight Faggot champ multiple times before tossing him. . .her. . .whatever into the crowd! The crowd catches SoM and bodysurfs the favorite around the arena. SoM
disappears somewhere in the crowd and is not seen for the rest of the night!
Grimm does the crucifix pose and is hit by a Spandex Superkick! Chris Oakley hits a Full Metal Jacket on Sammitch, to Meeko’s horror. PenWing nails his longtime nemesis with a Gordie Howe! Rosalita jumps up on the ring apron to cheer on Spamm, but serves as a distraction as Grimm recovers from the superkick to toss Spamm out from behind!
The countdown ends for the final time as Ben Harper’s “Faded” cues up and the crowd booes heartily. The in-ring action stops once again as the competitors look towards the entranceway where Joe Mama appears, IC title in hand, and Louie Bastardo in tow.
“I’ll kill both of you!” Oakley screams just before Snarf locks him in a Headlock. The fight picks back up as Notwedge comes off the middle rope with a Flying Death Chop 2000
onto Grimm! As JM climbs into the ring, the new IC champ is attacked by his former allies, Captain Sammitch and PenWing!
Once again, Johnny Evil appears on the Cheese-O-Tron, pleading with the competitors to eliminate Notwedge and remember the money. Grimm picks Notwedge up in an attempt for a Kobe Special, but Notwedge escapes and dropkicks him into the ropes and out of the ring! PenWing and Sammitch attempt a doubleclothesline on Joe Mama, but Joe ducks under and nails PenWing with an Enforcer, then hits Sammitch with an East Coast Hammer! Joe dumps the EuroTrash Champ out of the ring with a laugh and a promise of
“I’ll get that belt back, too!” before PenWing catches him with a Drag ‘n Whip! The Hardcore Porn Champ tosses the IC Champ out to the floor!
Monroe: “This is it, Madman! The final four!Oakley! Snarf! Notwedge! and PenWing! ”
Marcum: “Johnny Evil can’t be happy that Notwedge is still in there! King Snarf’s gonna win! I can feel it!”
As if on cue, Snarf catches Notwedge with a Bastard Bomb and hurls him from the ring! The crowd booes the Big Cheese Champion heartily, as he smiles to himself, he’s just become $10,000 richer. And he’s still in the Rumble.
Marcum: "That's how a Champion does it!"
Or he was, before being hit with a Full Metal Jacket, followed by a WMD from Chris Oakley. In a fit of rage, Oakley tosses the World Champ to the floor, emitting a guttural
scream as he does so!
Marcum: "That's not fair! Snarf wasn't ready!"
The last two men in the Rumble. . .Chris Oakley and PenWing. . .longtime enemies. . .once again at odds. . .
Monroe: “IT’S OAKLEY AND PENWING!! OAKLEY AND PENWING!! THE LAST TWO MEN!!”
Oakley explodes and rushes PenWing, attempting for a Lock and Load, but PenWing reverses into a Sudden Death! PenWing dumps Oakley over the top rope, directly on top
of King Snarf! PenWing is the last man in the ring! He drops to his knees as “Back in Black” plays over the sound system and James White declares him the winner of the 2005 RDCW Rumble!
