[gulp!] Can I post here? I just wanna warn you guys that this is gonna be a collection of some of my deeper thoughts, so don't laugh at me until I'm out of earshot. [wink]

Since human beings are obviously a mixture of physical, mental, and spiritual aspects, the logical conclusion is that men (myself included) are generally idiots when it comes to defining what they look for in a woman without offending somebody. [no no no]

Quite honestly, I find it a bit difficult to define. And when I do manage to get it all out, nobody believes me. But in all honesty, I think three of the most important things I look for in a woman I am interested in are

- whether or not I can have a good time when I'm with her,

- whether or not I'm able to just be myself around her,

or

- whether or not she challenges me to become a better person.

Yeah, I know, it sounds completely manufactured. But bear with me. Of all the girls I've dated (as of my sophomore year of college), three model at least on a part-time basis, and one was a Miss Ohio (it's more prestigious than you'd think) runner-up. I consider myself at least something of an authority here.

But I'm not here to brag on myself, or else this would be one depressing post. [no no no] Let me explain. Looks are important to a certain extent - pretty much any guy who says otherwise is either lying or so desperate that his eyes have been disconnected from his... [gulp!] I better leave it at that.

But appearance is a purely subjective thing. A guy can say a girl looks good and be absolutely right in his own mind yet totally wrong according to the guy next to him. Personally? Of the three models I dated, the one I found most attractive was the plus-size model, and I'm not at all ashamed of that. Yet what I find attractive a lot of guys are put off by. What's more, everyone changes their minds about what they find attractive from time to time. Add to that the simple reality that appearance is a very temporary thing, and you start to realize that yeah, appearance can be the only criterion you go on, but it's not a very solid foundation for selecting someone you want to share yourself with.

One other thing that a lot of people overlook - nobody agrees on everything, and it's both impractical and unwise to try and seek out someone who agrees with you on absolutely every issue, and even less advisable to try and convince them to see eye-to-eye with you on everything. All the same, it's probably not a good idea to try and build a relationship with someone who disagrees with you on almost everything, or on something really major like religious beliefs. Quite frankly, the purpose of forming a relationship is not to debate every single tenet of what someone believes, and any relationship that actually thrives is cemented through the things people have in common. It may work out on TV, but relationships between people of extremely different beliefs don't appear to work very well at all in my experience.

Hmmmm, what else? Oh, yeah. Human beings change, by the way. Quite frequently. You can't expect the person you fall in love with at 17 to be the same person at 23. I have no problem with people forming relationships at a young age, but I think it's very naive to expect people not to change. As human beings we are in a constant state of growth and change, as we start to discover new things and realize that some of the things that were important to us when we were younger aren't so major anymore. I have come to realize that I need to give anyone I love room to grow, and that requires a lot of patience. But at the same time I sometimes try the patience of those who love me too. So it's in my opinion extremely important that you choose someone you can grow with, someone flexible, patient, and trusting who elicits the same virtues from you.

That's pretty much my reasoning behind what I look for in a woman. Appearance is important, but not the most important thing to me. I place a lot of emphasis on being able to have fun and be myself when I'm in a relationship, because after all, if you can't be you and have the other person love you, chances are it's not you that they love to begin with.

Those are, once again, my own opinions, and I have no desire to offend or upset anyone. If you disagree with me on any of my points, feel free to tell me - I would welcome the chance to learn something.