As the opening credits end, this week's Havoc starts in the locker room of the Bastardo Family. Grace is at her laptop. King Snarf is getting worked on by a masseuse while Joe Mama talks to him.

JM: ...So I ended up getting her the dozen white roses with a card that said, "Without the red, these roses are incomplete. Without you, so are we." And I had them shipped with some Bath & Body Works stuff with a card telling her "A woman of your caliber deserves support and pampering". I'm telling you, Champ, Sneaky Bunny got spoiled rotten this Valentine's Day!

KS: I would've sent her a Hickory Farms basket. And the card would've said "Don't judge us by our words. Judge us by our meat."

JM: (laughing) Yeah, Champ...that's why I'm handling recruitment.

Louie Bastardo enters the locker room.

LB: Gentlemen, good to see you in high spirits! Tonight will be history-making for the Bastardo Family! Tonight, Joe Mama represents us in our Tag Team Lottery Match to decide the #1 Contender for the Donkey Lovin' Tag Team Titles!

Grace: Don't forget the mini-Rumble next week. That decides the #1 Contender...

LB: Whatever! This type of tournament allows us to scout the best in the RDCW! To see which teams are the wheat of the division, and which ones are the chaff! We may see a team worth inviting into the Family! Grace, who are the candidates?

Grace: Captain Sammitch and Penwing...

KS/JM: Too 'pretty-boy"...

Grace: Howlerama...

KS/JM: Two jobbers...

Grace: Spandex Money Man and Tommy Savitz...

KS: Too goofy...

JM: Too quirky...

LB: Hey, guys! What about those Mexican fellas? Los Monstros Azules?

There's a pause, as both wrestlers look at each other, then glance at Grace and Louie. The four of them bust out laughing together.

KS: Damn, Louie! You had us for a second! Don't they have a shiny-new manager or something?

JM: I heard they went back to Mexico 'cause they couldn't hack it here. Something about their masks being defaced...twice.

More laughter...

LB: (serious now) Listen guys: Stick to the plan. The #1 Contender's spot is nice - it's our main objective. But we really do want to scout these other teams to see who's Bastardo Family material. And, if we can send a message to those people who've run at the mouth about us, then so much the better!

JM: Don't worry, Louie. We've got everything worked out. We've gone over strategy with Grace. We're in perfect accord with each other. Even if the Champ here really didn't send me a nice gift basket yesterday.

KS: YOU RAN ME OVER WITH A CAR!

JM: I gave you the keys...you do still have it, right?

KS: (mutters) I'll grab you something from the vendors outside...

LB: It's good to see you two getting along! Tonight is a Havoc that no one will be able to forget!!!

Uschi said:
I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry.

MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost!

"I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock

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