The lights dim, the arena monitor lights up. Wednesday, dressed in an impeccably assembled purple tux, is being interviewed by the ever-boobacious Chesty Lerou...
Chesty Lerou: I'm standing backstage with former Hardcore Porn Champion, Wednesday. Wednesday, last week you earned a rematch with PenWing, and a chance to win back the Hardcore Porn Title. Can you tell us what this means to you?
Wednesday: What does it mean? It means another chance to give another Seven-Day ass whippin', is what it means. Thanks for the stupid question.
Aren't you single?
Chesty Lerou: Yes, but in the match last week, you went up against some the RDCW's finest wrestlers. To win your title shot, you had to defeat Nowhereman. What was it like taking on a wrestler of his caliber?
Wednesday: A little boring, actually. Usually, I wouldn't lower myself to give a wrestler of Noone'swoman caliber the time of day, but a man's gotta do...
And speakin' of what a man's gotta do, that shirt button looks like it's about to come loose. Here...
*SPRING!!!*
Chesty Lerou: Mr. Wednesday!
Wednesday: I'm just helping you out, Ms. Big'ns. I am a true gentleman, after all.
Chesty Lerou: If you say so. Were you at all worried when PenWing destroyed the final table?
Wednesday: Did I look worried? I'm Wednesday, woman. Seven days!
Another silly question, Ms. Big'ns. That's another button for you.
Chesty Lerou: I think I better wrap this up. As the winner of the Table Royal, you get to name the type of match you will face PenWing next week at No Way Out of the Closet. Have you made your decision?
Wednesday: Oh! Another button!
Chesty Lerou: Well, I think we're done with the interview, Wednesday. It sounds like we're going to see a very exciting match.
Wednesday: A match? Is that what you call it? Oh wait, you mean the wrestling.
Fade to black. The crowd cheers...of course.
