*Havoc opens with the Family gathered in the ring. They are dressed in a very "business casual" attire. King Snarf brandishes the World Heavyweight Cheese Title. Joe Mama pats the IC title over his shoulder. "Sabotage" is playing over the loudspeakers as the Legbreakererses (no longer 4 Hire, but now on permanent retainer) climb into the ring and take their place at Joe Mama's side. The Family is soon joined in the ring by El Superbeasto, then Johnny Evil, along with his girlfriend, Ariel. Grace hands Louie the microphone.
"To all those of you who doubted me, who thought that the Family was finished, that two wrestlers, a manager, and a secretary couldn't hold things together, couldn't dominate and thrive, to all those of you out there who thought the Family was on it's last legs, I say to all of you, right now, if you want to make it out with your careers and integrity intact. . .bow down and KISS MY FEET!!!!"
*Crowd booes heavily as the Family members laugh and congratulate each other.
"All you johnny come latelies out there like "Mr. Ian St. John Bond" and that trust fund baby billionare "Slick Willie" Williams, who think you can just walk in here and leech off of my success and try to run me into the ground, need to remember something! No one gets over on the Family, because Louie Bastardo always has an angle! When Ian Bond was out playing detective, I was fighting and scratching and yes, thinking my way to success. When Bill Williams was out losing his family's hard earned money on booze and prostitutes, I was making myself and my clients rich!"
"You see, what you saw last week at No Way Out of the Closet, was the culmination of months of planning and hard work. Johnny Evil!" *Louie points at Johnny, who smiles crazily and waves before falling forward, leaning on the ring ropes. "I bet you people forgot Johnny Evil was a teammate of the Family at Conniver Series! He was all set to bring the Donkey Lovin Titles to the Family! But his partner was too soft! So he had to be made an example of!"
*Crowd booes the former Notwedge. Some throw drinks at him. He laughs and tries to knock them back into the crowd.
"The Legbreakererses! These boys have for months been making life hell for Captain Sammitch and PenWing! And soon they'll rip those Donkey Lovin Tag Titles from around your waists!" *Legbreakererses motion around their waists and high five each other. "Now they're full members of the Family!"
"El Superbeasto!. . .Chris, I do have to thank you for this one." Louie laughs. "If you hadn't brought those two tortillas into the Family, I never would've come across this true, giant monster!" *El Superbeasto motions for a chokeslam as the crowd continues attempting to jeer the Family right out of the building.
"But wait. . .Grace, it seems there's another member of our Family that we haven't discussed yet."
"That's right, Louie." Grace leans into the mic to speak. "But instead of telling them, why don't we show them?"
"Excellent idea, I knew there was a reason I hired you. Chris, do you remember this?"
The Cheese-o-tron comes to life with a black and white video. While the picture quality isn't 100% perfect, we can very clearly make out the RDCW World Champion standing beside his stretch limo talking on his cell phone. He's grinning like the cat that swallowed the proverbial canary.
Monroe: That's the tape Chris showed us before the Rumble!
King Snarf: Yeah, JD, everything's working out perfectly. The Bastardo Family is starting to come apart like wet paper. I guarantee that by the time the RDCW Rumble rolls around, they'll be at each other's throats, and that fat idiot Louie Bastardo will be a complete mental case--as if he wasn't one already. (gives evil laugh)
LB: "Keep watching."
King Snarf puts his phone away and looks towards the camera.
KS: How was that?
Woman's Voice: Perfect!
Monroe: Wait. I know that voice!
KS: Now, you mind telling me why I was pretending to talk to this JD person?
Woman's Voice: Actually, you sort of messed up the name. That's not a "D" on the card.
KS: It's not?
King Snarf pulls out his cue card and takes another look at it.
KS: Oh crap! I was supposed to say JB! I get the "B", but why the "J"?
Woman's Voice: You'll know that at the Rumble.
KS: You really are a sneaky bastard, aren't you, honey?
Woman's Voice: I ain't no honey. When we finish pulling this off, they'll be calling me the Bastardo Bunny.
King Snarf and the woman laugh as the video fades from the screen.
LB: I think we all get the "J", Chris. (Louie looks over at a grinning Joe Mama) But the "B", the "B" is another story.
Monroe: Well, we all know who the "B" is! It's-
LB: "I'd like to introduce everyone to the Bastardo Family's future Women's Boobie Belt Champion...Sneaky the Bastardo Bunny!"
"Scar Tissue" plays as Sneaky makes her way to ringside to join the Family.
