JE: First of all, I'd like to thank Chris Oakley for his invitiation to join the Bastardo family. As you can see, I've decided to take it. I just wanted to wait for them to remove a little dead weight.
*The Bastaerdos laugh as the crowd boos.*
Now, I know this is a celebration, but I'd like to take a few moments to remember a fallen man who was beloved by many. *The Bastardos bow their heads as The lights dim, on the screen an image like an old home movie is shown with scenes from Notwedge's career. The song "Shine Your Light" plays.*
The cry of the city like a siren's song
Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long
Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky
Must be someone's soul passing by
*Nw is shown announcing he is the fourth member of the Triple Set.*
These are the streets
Where we used to run where your Papa's from
These are the days
Where you become what you become
These are the streets
Where the story's told
The truth unfolds
Darkness settles in
*Doc Mid Nite is shown walking into Nw's locker room. Nw turns around, wearing his mask for the first time.*
Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength
To carry on, carry on
*Nw is shown smashing Joe Mama's CD and then fighting him in the Best Buy Gift Card on a pole match.*
Don't wanna be a hero
Just an everyday man
Trying to do the job the very best he can
But now it's like living on borrowed time
Out on the rim, over the line
Always tempting fate like a game of chance
Never wanna stick around to the very last dance
Sometimes I stumble and take a hard fall
Lose hold your grip off the wall
*Nw is shown on a motorcycle hanging from a wire while all kinds of crazy stuff goes on during the entrance he made after kidnapping the crew's pets.*
Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on
*Nw is shown in front of a map, pointing out the fact that Southern Ireland isn't shown on it.*
I thought I saw him walking by the side of the road
Maybe trying to find his way home
*Nw is shown beating 13 people in one night for a shot at number 1 contender for the Eurotrash title.*
He's here but not here
He's gone but not gone
Just hope he knows if I get lost
*Nw is shown making an entrance in the vaguely UFO-like golf cart with the Captain of Outer Space.*
Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on
*Nw is shown winning the Tag team titles with CoOS, the image of him holding up his belt freezes as the music ends, at the bottom of the screen it says "Notwedge 2004-2005".
*The Bastardos are all laughing at the video and some even applaud Johnny Evil as he starts to address the crowd.*
JE: Some of you are probably expecting an explanation. You want this to make sense. You think that there must be some rational reason for everything I did last night. The fact of the matter is, hell, I just felt like it. I decided I wanted to mess with you idiots. I was sick and tired of coming out here night after night risking and busting my ass so all of you could laugh at me. I never wanted to be Notwedge. That was never the real me. OK, I really am a bit off. I admit that. But I am not the kind of person who should be entertaining children with goofy antics. That was just a way to get my foot in the door here at RDCW. It went on far too long and now it's over. I can finally be the real me. No more holing back. No more masks. No more carrying that dead-weight partner. No more pretending I care about you idiots. I'm finally back on the road to success I detoured from so long ago, thanks to my new family. You probably think I'm heartless now, but that's not true. My priorities are just different, but I still care. In fact, I want to tell you about someone I care about very much...
*It seems like he's about to indicate Ariel.*
Spandex Monkey Man.
*JE, Ariel and their assembled allies seem pleased with the deception.*
I see you, and I see someone making the same mistakes I did. Following that same path that I took. I just can't stand by and let that happen. You have to see what that will lead to. And, well, there's a little something called Robblemania coming up. I've checked with Grace and Mr. Bastardo and it seems my schedule is clear for that evening. Is that right?
*Grace checks her computer.*
Grace: That's right, Johnny.
JE: So, Spamm, you want to be RDCW's biggest joke? You want to be the new Notwedge? Fine. Then face me in the biggest, most gimmicky match in the history of wrestling. A Chicago Style match. You see, I've had the privilege of living in Chicago, the greatest city on Earth. A much better place than the town we're in tonight. And I have frequently enjoyed Chicago Style hot dogs. Now. a Chicago Style hot dog is topped with many things, mustard, tomatoes, relish, a pickle. The list of toppings is long, but does not include ketchup. So, I'm proposing a match that can be ended in many ways, none of which are a pinfall or disqualification. You won't get the list of stipulations until after you accept. Now, I'll wait for your response, but I know what it will be. You are the hero after all.
*The Bastardos laugh while the crowd boos.*
Monroe: Just when it looked like the Bastardoes were on their way out, they've come back stronger than ever!
