CUT TO: Full shot of the interior of a church. Organ music is heard and a baby is crying. Grace is carrying a small bundle to the altar, followed by Louie Bastardo, who is also carrying a bundle. They stand before a priest, who speaks in Latin.

PRIEST: Let us pray.


As the priest continues off-screen:

CUT TO: A caption

CAPTION 1: They are one of the most powerful factions in the RDCW


CAPTION 2: They rule with an iron fist.


CAPTION 3: They have taken on all comers, and many have fallen in their wake.


CUT TO: The church again. Louie and Grace are standing before the priest and in front of the Holy Water. The priest speaks.

PRIEST’S VOICE: Louie Bastardo, do you renounce Satan?


CUT TO: A clip of King Snarf’s title match. He has TK-069 in the headlock and, after a few moments, TK-069 taps out.

CUT TO: Church.

LOUIE BASTARDO: I do renounce him.


CUT TO: A clip of the Fenway Park Street Fight. Chris Oakley is crawling towards Louie Bastardo, who slams the World Series trophy replica over Chris’ head.

CUT TO: Church.

PRIEST’S VOICE: And all his pomps?

LOUIE BASTADRO: I do renounce them.


CUT TO: Another clip of the Fenway Park Street Fight. Joe Mama has just delivered the East Coast Hammer to Chris Oakley and climbed the ropes. He delivers a Flying Tea Bag Slam.

CUT TO: Church.

PRIEST’S VOICE: Louie Bastardo, will you be baptized?

LOUIE BASTARDO: I will.

PRIEST’S VOICE: In nominee Patri – et Filii, -


CUT TO: No Way Out Of The Closet. It’s the Lipstick Lesbians Tag Team Title match, at the moment of Meeko and Sneaky Bunny’s accident. But, from this angle, we see the Sneaky Bunny, with the hand meant to tag into the match, drives Meeko’s head into the turnbuckle. Then, as Meeko slides to the mat, unconscious, Sneaky Bunny feigns being hit and falls to the ring floor.

PRIEST’S VOICE: et Spiritus Sancti


CUT TO: Now Way Out Of The Closet: El Superbeasto chokeslams Los Monstros Azules.

PRIEST’S VOICE: Louie Bastardo…


CUT TO: Last week’s Havoc. The Legbreakers are Taking Out The Trash, with Chris Oakley as the victim.

CUT TO: Church. A candle is held before Louie Bastardo.

PRIEST’S VOICE: Go in peace, and may the Lord be with you. Amen.




DISSOLVE TO: Church exterior steps. Louie and Grace are walking towards to the camera. The Bastardo Family is congratulating them. In Louie’s hands, we see that the bundle is the Heavyweight Cheese Title. Grace’s bundle is the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title. FADE OUT to:

CAPTION 4: The Bastardo Family.

CAPTION 5: Only On Tuesday Night Havoc.