RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 3/15/05

6 Man Tag single choice

Spamm/Savitz/Spade (90%, 18 Votes)

Klinton/Liberal Conspiracy (10%, 2 Votes)

Total Votes: 20 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-05 7:01 PM

Heavyweight Match single choice

Balls Nasty (48%, 10 Votes)

Rex (52%, 11 Votes)

Total Votes: 21 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-05 7:01 PM

Hotties Tag Match single choice

Cowgirl Jack/Bianca (52%, 11 Votes)

PrincessE/Batwoman (48%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 21 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-05 7:01 PM

No dq Rematch single choice

Dark Lords (50%, 10 Votes)

Punch/Counterpunch (50%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 20 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-05 7:01 PM

Fear and Loathing Semifinals single choice

King Snarf/Joe Mama w Sneaky Bunny (52%, 11 Votes)

Cap. Sammitch/PenWing w Meeko (48%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 21 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-05 7:01 PM

*The show opens to find Meeko walking into her team locker room. Captain Sammitch and PenWing are preparing for their match later in the night. Sammitch seems relaxed, while PenWing looks to be preparing for war, having already taped up five Sherwoods.*

Meeko: Guys, I know this invitational battle royal is tempting, but we need to focus on the big picture tonight.

Sammitch: You don't have to tell me that. Wings, on the other hand...

Meeko: PenWing, what exactly are you doing?

PenWing: Look, I have no intention of getting involved in the battle royal. The last thing I need at Robblemania is to enter a hardcore match before the main event. Beleive me, I'm completely focused on the Heavyweight Cheese belt.

Meeko: Then why are you taping up so many sticks?

PenWing: I have no intention of getting involved in the battle royal, but there is going to be 20 minutes of total chaos around here, and anything and everything is fair game. I won't go out looking for trouble, but, you know how it is. I want to be prepared in case trouble comes looking for me. Or you.

Sammitch: Speaking of which, do you really have to come out to the ring tonight? After what Sneaky did to you at Robblemania, and with you defending your title against her, maybe you should take it easy?

Meeko: Someone has to watch your backs. And besides, I've been cleared to be here, and we all know I can take care of myself, and that little Bastardo Bunny. You just focus on the tournament tonight, and on putting some fear into King Snarf and Joe Mama.

*Backstage, Chesty Larou is standing next to the Dark Lords.*

Chesty: "I'm here with Grimm and Darth, who were disqualified from the Fear and Loathing Memorial Tag Team Tournament. Grimm, your thoughts on that?"

Grimm: "My thoughts. . .my thoughts. . .as if you could seek enlightenment by attempting to fathom the dark and narrow pathways that my mind travels down. I've been in the ring with Bibbo and I-Man before. I have respect for them. But they are only mortal men, and they too, must fall before the skeletal wrath of the Dark Lords."

Chesty: "Aheh. . ." *Chesty smiles meekly and turns to Darth.* "Darth, you were visibly upset at Balls Nasty's interference in the match. Is there anything you can do to keep his sights off of your parnter?"

*Darth gives Chesty a look that scares the crap out of her.*

Grimm: "Darth understands that my war with Balls Nasty is a personal one. I have instructed him not to interfere except under the direst of circumstances. Balls Nasty will face the ultimate penalty for his sins at RobbleMania. The match is signed. As he feels the cold shiver cross his spine, Balls Nasty will look into my eyes and know that I am the road to a forgotten people. . .I am the way to the end. . .Abandon all hope. Fear the Dark Lords."

Chesty: "Eeep. I mean, uh, back to you Mouth."

We’re back from commercial.

Monroe: Fans, Robblemania XXI is shaping up to be a truly amazing event! There’s no doubt in my mind that it will surpass every past Robblemania in excitement and spectacle!

Madman: You finally said something intelligent, Monroe! I can’t wait to see…

The lights dim.

Madman: What the…?

An easily recognized company logo appears on the Cheese-O-Tron as some three-chord heavy metal plays. From the back walks an old man with an obvious dye-job. He’s wearing a purple cap on his head with silver stars on it and a robe that matches the cap.

Monroe: Oh no…not him…not this again…

Madman: That’s a jaunty li’l cap an’ gown!

A moment later, a large man with long hair and a handlebar moustache joins the Grand Wizard. He’s in an expensive suit and, in his hand, is holding a bottle of water. He pours the water over his head, soaking himself and the suit, and then shakes off like a big dog and starts walking down to the ring. The Grand Wizard follows behind him. When he gets to the ring apron, the large man takes a big swig of the water, spits it at the audience, and throws the bottle out into the stands.

Monroe: That’s gotta be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen! Who thinks that looks cool?

As the big man enters the ring through the ropes, the water bottle is flung back and hits him on his giant nose.

Madman: BWAH HAH-HAH-HAH-HAHHHHHH!!!

The Grand Wizard bumbles over to the announce table, grabs a mic, and bumbles back to the ring. He enters the ring and half stumbles, half struts to the big man and hands him the mic.

Madman: Does the old guy have a broken hip?

Monroe: I think he calls it “stylin’ and profiling”, Marcum.

The big man speaks.

Crippled-H: I don’t know if you people know me or not – I assume you do – but I am CRIPPLED-H! And I am the GAY…uh, Game. The Game. I’m the Game.

Grand Wizard:

Crippled-H: And the gentleman next to me is a ring veteran. He has 16 World Titles in his 200+ year career, and you WILL give him the proper respect!

Grand Wizard:

Crippled-H: We’re here because last week you idiots showed my boss a lot of disrespect! That man, who is my Father-In-Law, is solely responsible for the popularity that Professional Wrestling and Sports Entertainment enjoy today! And he’s one of the nicest, smartest, most tender, loving, gentle…

Grand Wizard: Uh, Gay…Game? You might want to go easy on the superlatives…

Crippled-H: WHAT DID YOU SAY???

Grand Wizard: Uh…

Crippled-H turns back to the fans.

Crippled-H: You fans owe my Daddy a debt of gratitude! You should feel honored that he came here last week and addressed you personally! Why, in our Federa…Entertainment Promotion, there are guys who have never even seen my Pops, much less spoken to him! They think he’s an Urban Legend, like Batman or the story of the Earwig! The fact that this “promotion” has a chance to be bought and run into the ground by my Sweet Vinny should have every wrestler and official quivering in as much anticipation as I feel after our Monday Night Show as I lie in bed waiting for…

Grand Wizard: Your wife?

Crippled-H: My what? Oh…yeah. My wife, what’s her name…Stephanie. Her.

The fans are chanting “Homo!” at the pair.

Crippled-H: You fans shut up! Richard here is gay, no matter HOW he dresses!

Grand Wizard: uh, ?

Crippled-H: As a matter of fact, even though you people don’t deserve it, my manager and me are gonna give you a treat! To give you a preview of what you’ll be seeing after My Sweet Baboo buys this company, we’re willing to wrestle anyone on your roster! Bring out that superhero guy – I like randomly beating up our superhero, so let me fight your superhero! Better yet, give us a tag team! Give us ANYONE!!!

Grand Wizard:

Ghoultown’s “Return Of The Living Dead” blasts over the speakers and, amid the cheers and chants of the crowd, Grimm and Darth make their way to the ring. Crippled-H is saying “No…no…no…” as the RDCW’s resident monsters go nose-to-chest with him and his manager. Grimm takes the mic out of the unresisting hand of Crippled-H.

Grimm: The Dark Lords accept.

The crowd goes wild. Crippled-H and Grand Wizard look at each other, trembling.

Crippled-H: Aaahhh, what I meanaahhh to say isaaahhh. . ."

Grimm: What you mean to say is that without your father-in-law pulling strings for your crippled gay ass, you don't have the sac to stand in the ring and face true masters of destruction!

Darth takes a step towards Grand Wizard, who runs towards a ring corner, somehow flips over it, lands on the ring apron, runs to another ring corner, climbs and jumps off the ring post, takes three steps to where he started, turns to Darth, says…

Grand Wizard: I’m very old.

…and falls flat on his face. The crowd is chanting “Darth!” Crippled-H gingerly takes back the mic from Grimm.

Crippled-H: We’d be more than happy to wrestle you…fine gentlemen. But Richard here is late for hip replacement surgery. And I’ve got two completely torn quadriceps in my legs. And besides, I…OMIGOD! IT’S LEMMY FROM MOTORHEAD!!!

Neither Dark Lord turns. But Crippled-H still picks up Grand Wizard and sprint away, trying to escape two men who aren’t chasing them. After the pair have left the arena, Grimm picks up the mic.

Grimm: Fag.

Then The Dark Lords take a few moments to acknowledge the crowd’s cheers.

*Back from commercial break and Del Castillo's "Back from the Grave" is playing in the arena. El Superbeasto stands in the ring, towering over his manager, Louie Bastardo and Grace. Louie is flanked on both sides by the Legbreakererses. Superbeasto has a mic.

Superbeasto: "Los Azules, I have come here for one reason! To finish what we began so long ago in the rings in Tijuana. Now, I fight for Senor Bastardo. I CRUSH for Senor Bastardo. I DESTROY for Senor Bastardo. And at RobbleMania, I will make you two putas cry and bleed like the women you are. And Chris Oakley, when I am finished with Los Azules, I am coming for YOU!"

*Crowd booes the luchadore, as the Family members laugh and look on smugly.

Superbeasto: "VIVA EL SUPERBEASTO!!!!!!!!"

Everclear's "When It All Goes Wrong Again" hits the speakers as King Snarf makes his way to ring!

KS: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! It is I, your World Champ, King Snarf. I came to ring to discuss a few matters.

First, I would like to address the comments by Billionaire Vince regarding his so-called "invasion". He said he would like to run RDCW in the ground! Make all us hard-working superstars look like putzes! Make a sham of everything we've done! He even said he wanted me to job to his overrated son-in-law! Well, let me tell you, something Billionaire Vince...

I've got absolutely no problem with that. *Crowd boos* Oh, what? You've seen my antics! This should come as NO surprise. I would be honored to lie down for Crippled H. However, I would prefer if instead of beating me with his usual finishing manuever, he pins me after poking me in the chest with his finger. *Crowd boos even louder*

Now, I'd like to talk about PenWing and Son of Mxy. It seems they're all keen on facing me at Robblemania in a triple threat match. Well, first, I'd like to remind them that I won the last triple threat match I was a part of!

Marcum: That's right! He's a true fighting champion!

Monroe: Please! His last triple threat match was against the cast of Saved by the Bell!

I'd also like to remind them of just what happens to people I face in the ring- they leave RDCW forever! But those two don't seem to grasp that concept. So, next week, I'm bringing a special guest to Havoc. Someone who has faced me and hasn't been seen in some time. Someone who can tell SoM and PenWing what to expect when they face me. In this very ring, my guest for a special King Snarf interview will be none other than... TK-069! *Crowd cheers at the announcement*

Monroe: My God! TK-069! Back after almost four months! Next week is gonna be a hell of a show!

"Faded" starts up as Joe Mama steps out from the back with Sneaky Bunny. She's wearing his Inter-Cunt-Inental belt and he has what looks like a briefcase meant to hold a pool cue. When they get to the ring, Joe Mama hold the ropes open for her and she steps through them. They walk to the center of the ring where Sneaky Bunny bows and curtsies then, while Joe Mama taunts a few booing fans, she steps out of the ring to get a microphone. She re-enters the ring and hands it to Joe Mama.

JM: Last week, Captain Sammitch showed me, Sneaky Bunny, and all you fans just what kind of lying, hypocritical coward he is. Last week Captain Sammitch decided to insert himself into the Family's business. Not because we had done anything to cost him a title - he managed to lose the Eurotrash Title all by his lonesome. Not because of anything we had done to him personally - we've left him and his boy-slave, PenWing, alone. And certainly not to save Chris Oakley - Sammitch did nothing to make sure Chris was okay or get EMTs to ringside.

No, Captain Sammitch snuck into the ring and attacked me from behind with the expressed intention of showboating for you fans and trying to shame me into giving him a title shot at Robblemania XXI. Now, if Sammitch had just approached me or Louie or the RDCW's Championship Committee and requested a title shot like a gentleman, I know that the Bastardo Family would've been more than happy to grant his request. Even if the Committee denied it on the grounds that he is scumbag who helped keep his "friend" Sneaky Bunny away from the Women's Boobie Belt.

But, instead of being a gentleman and a decent competitor, Sammitch attacked me at a time when I couldn't defend myself. He snuck up behind me and used that Bo staff as a lethal weapon. And all I have to say about that decision is that you're lucky you only knocked me out. Any worse than that, and the Bastardo Family would own your contract, PenWing's contract, Meeko's contract, and you'd be Tag Team Championship pool cleaners! The fact that you attacked me from behind shows me and all these fans that you're a coward who knows that Nowhereman had more to do with your Eurotrash Title reign than you ever did! You fake like you're a fair fighter to these fans, but where was the fairness in your attack? Why not approach me face-to-face?

The fact is you're scared that Sneaky Bunny poses a real threat to Meeko's title reign. You're furious that she decided to accept my offer and join the Bastardo Family. And the only way you see to get back at me is to attack me from behind in hopes of either putting me out of wrestling for a while or forcing me to defend against you at Robblemania XXI. Well guess what? I didn't miss a day of wrestling. And I'm not afraid to grant your "request" for a title shot. You don't scare me. You never did. You're every bit the showboating, self-centered, arrogant, lying, hypocritical little pup I said you are. You want me at Robblemania XXI? You got me!

The crowd cheers, some chanting for Captain Sammitch.

JM: But I'm not making it this easy for you, little man! Our match will NOT be a hardcore match! Our match will NOT be a Hell In A Cell match! As a matter of fact, our match will have no gimmicks whatsoever! But I do have a stipulation or two, so crack your ears open, Petty-Boy! First of all, no one from the Bastardo Family will be permitted at ringside! I've made it clear to Louie and the rest of the Family that I want to take you apart myself! And I don't want to give you any opportunity to blame your defeat on anything other than yourself. Should any Family member interfere, I will immediately be stripped of the title. You won't win it, but I won't have it either.

Secondly, No one else will be permitted at ringside! Leave your girlfriend and butler, PenWing, in your locker room. And you'd better make sure that the Chris Oakleys, James Fantastics, and everyone else stays away from us while I'm kicking your ass! Should anyone, whether aligned with you or not, appear ANYWHERE ringside, the match will end and you will be disqualified with no return match for 90 days. Marcum and Monroe don't need help doing commentary either, no matter how bad Mike is, so put that thought out of your mind.

And, finally...those two stipulations apply to Sneaky Bunny's match as well. You people have been protecting Meeko enough. At Robblemania, your girlfriend fights her own battle against the "friend" that she's been betraying and ducking from the start! Let her put her title on the line like a true champion!

Madman: Great ideas! It forces both Sammitch and Meeko to fight their own battles...for a change!

Monroe: What are you talking about, Marcum? Those two have been model Champions!

Madman: Sure, if you like your Champions to duck true competition and lie and cheat to keep their titles!

JM: Ball's in your court, Sammitch. Ponder things before you sign that contract. Oh and, just so you think you settled something last week when you attacked me from behind with YOUR stick, let me remind you: I have a stick as well...

Sneaky Bunny holds the briefcase so Joe Mama can open it. He pulls out a Louisville Slugger, closes the briefcase, and brandishes it for the camera and fans.

JM: Two can play that game! Be seeing you later, Chump!

"Faded" plays again. The Bastardo Family members leave the ring, walk up the ramp, and leave the ring area.

Madman: Looks like Joe Mama is looking to get some payback tonight!

Monroe: Then he should wait for his tag team match tonight! Someone should call security before someone gets seriously hurt!!!

Spandex Monkey Man/Tommy Savitz/Shinobi Spade vs. Klinton/The Liberal Conspiracy

Despite obvious tension between Tommy Savitz and Spandex Monkey Man, the RDJL roared to victory in spectacular fashion tonight.

The Liberal Conspiracy, aided by close friend Klinton, were first down to the ring, enteringto their familiar Fahrenheit 911 entrance theme. The RDJL then followed, without Rosalita.

Marcum: Hey, where's Spandex Monkey Man's sidekick?

Monroe: She's been banned from ringisde after her interference last week

Marcum: Tommy doesn't look too pleased!

Whomod started in the ring for The Liberals, whilst Savitz stepped into the ring for the RDJL. However Whomod went for him before the bell went, nailing him with a Running DDT before hitting a Liberalizm (springboard dropkick). Savitz seemed unfased by this, however, and was quickly able to hoist himself to his feet before nailing an Anaesthetist. Unfortunately this landed Whomod in TLC's corner, and he tagged in Jim Jackson.

Jackson flattened Savitz with a Headscissor Takedown before going for an anklelock. Savitz was able to wriggle free of the hold, but could not help but be subjected to a sleeper hold before Jackson flipped him over and went for a Lionsault. Savitz kicked out on two, and staggered back to his corner to tag in Spade.

Spade went to work on Jackson, nailing him with a Deuces Wild before going for a one-eyed king. Whilst Jackson styaggered back from the move the ice-cold man of mystery went for a Royal Flush, but Klinton entered the ring and grabbed Spade before he could go into the pin, and Spade was flipped out of the arena by a Big Gay Clinch (belly-to-belly suplex). Spandex Monkey Man helped Spade to his feet and got him back into the ring, but Jackson was prepared and dropped Spade with a Missile Dropkick before going for a pin.

Spade was able to use a wild card to break out of the pin, and tagged in the leader of the RDJL. Spandex Monkey Man then proceeded to dominate the match, at one point flattening both Jim and Whomod with a Flying Banana Chop. Savitz then entered the ring to work over Jackson, but an angry Spamm ordered him to leave. Savitz obeyed, but not before grabbing Whomod and suplexing him out of the ring with an Anaesthetist. Spandex then performed a Monkey Drop before pinning Jackson for the victory.

Balls Nasty vs. Rex

Balls Nasty is walking down the ramp when Rex runs up from behind with a bulldog. He then helps a bloody Nasty back to his feet, and runs him into the ring post. Rex then sends Nasty into the ring, and enters it himself. Nasty gets back to his feet and whips Rex into the corner. He follows it up with a running elbow smash.

Balls starts to get the upper hand and sets him up for a Camero Cut, attempting to do to Rex what he did to PJP. When PJP comes running out from the backstage area to help his friend (Rex). Nasty dumps Rex to the ground and starts pounding on PJP as he hits the ring.

As Nasty goes to try and reinjure PJP, Grimm's music begins to play and Nasty dumps PJP to the floor and looks to the rampway, motioning for Grimm to come on down to the ring. Eventually, a hooded figure appears on the rampway. . .Darth!

As Darth distracts Nasty and the referee, Grimm appears from beneath the ring, and taps Nasty on the shoulder. Nasty turns and gets a face full of Grave Breath! Grimm hits him with a Triple 6 Bomb and rolls Rex on top of him for the pin.



Hotties Tag Team Match: Anibabes vs Bible Babes

This was an even match from the beginning. Bianca and PrincessElisa were evenly matched mat brawlers. There was no upper hand between Batwoman and Cowgirl Jack. Both teams made a strong case for their opportunity to compete for the Lipstick Lesbians Tag Team Titles. The turning point came when the Divas came out to taunt both teams. Although all four ladies were distracted and took the time to shout back at the Divas and their taunts, Bianca and Cowgirl Jack used the distraction to their advantage. A pair of German suplexes into small packages gave the AniBabes the victory.

20-Minute Invitation Hardcore Porn Battle Royal

Mike "The Mouth" Monroe enters the ring.

Monroe: Ladies and Gentleman, the Doctor has asked me make the following announcement to every wrestler in the back: You have 20 minutes to be in this ring by any means necessary if you want to participate in the Hardcore Porn Battle Royal. Please display the timer on the Cheese-o-ton and start the countdown.

Captain Sammitch is making his way back getting a drink for Meeko. He gets to the door of the locker room when he hears the announcement for the 20-minute invitation to enter the ring. Sammitch smiles, already having decided to sit this one out when he hears:

"Hey! Tough guy!"

Sammitch turns around and gets hit with a bat.

Marcum: It's Joe Mama! He's drawing first blood!

Joe drags Sammitch away from the door and hits him a couple more times with the bat.

Joe Mama: Look on the bright side, Sammitch: at least I didn't attack YOU when YOUR back was turned!

After a few more whacks with the Louisville Slugger, Joe Mama drops it in favor of using his fists.

PenWing hears the early part of the attack, opens the door to check on things, and sees Joe dragging an obviously dazed and bleeding Sammitch away. PenWing tells Meeko to lock the door, grabs an extra Sherwood, and starts to run to stop Joe, but he gets intercepted by King Snarf. PenWing and Snarf get separated from Joe and Sammitch. Joe takes Sammitch into an empty locker room so as not to be disturbed, as Snarf and PenWing work their way through the back.

Monroe: First Joe blindsides Sammitch, and now Snarf is keeping PenWing away from helping his partner!

Marcum: That's what family is all about!

Chris Oakley is getting a drink out of a soda machine when the announcement is made. Suddenly finding himself being attacked by the Legbreakererses, Oakley throws the can at Stupid Doog and whips Winged Creature into the soda machine. It's then that he notices El Superbeasto running at him from down the hall. Oakley picks up some cans that fell out of the machine and throws them at the giant luchadore, but they bounce off of him like Nerff balls. El Superbeasto grabs Oakley's neck and lifts him up, but before he can execute the Choke slam to Oblivion, his legs are taken out from under him by the combined force of Los Monstrous Azules. Oakley collects himself as Los Monstrous Azules begin beating El Superbeasto with bats. Stupid Doog goes after Senor Perdicion, but he takes a swing to the stomach, and falls over. Winged Creature, getting back his feat, gets knocked back down by El Daga. El Superbeasto gets back up, and Los Monstrous Azules tell Oakley to get to the ring while they fight their oldest foe. Oakley runs down the hall, and barely avoids getting decapitated by a flying steel chair.

Monroe: Oakley almost got his head chopped off!

Marcum: That's what he gets for running away!

PenWing and King Snarf are fighting through the hall. PenWing gets a hold of Snarf and throws him into a door. Surprisingly, the door holds up, until PenWing spears Snarf through it.

Oakley heads the other way, to the garage.

Marcum: Look at him! He's still running!

Monroe: Only an idiot would stick around while those two tear apart the arena! It’s been less than five minutes and already things are getting out of control!

In the garage, Nowhereman arrives on his bike. Charlie is watching from the locker room, and he and Howlerama run to the garage. When they get there, Nowhereman is gone. Charlie tells Howlerama to start heading for the ring. When they leave the garage...

Nowhereman: You sure that was a good idea, Charlie?

Charlie looks around to see Nowhereman on top of a semi! Charlie starts towards him and goes out of sight from the camera. He is then attacked by a mystery assailant.

Nowhereman: Looks like you got things in hand, I’ll leave you to it!

Nowhereman heads after Howlerama, and we see Charlie laid out on the concrete, with a shadow over him.

Monroe: Who is this shadowy figure standing over Charlie!? Could it be the same person Nowhereman has been talking to?

Oakley makes it to the garage, views the destruction, and sees Ian St. John Bond's Jaguar XKE. He runs to it and finds it unlocked as James Fantastic arrives. Fantastic asks what's going on, and as Oakley fills him in, Balls Nasty throws Rex into Fantastic's car.

Monroe: Buhgawd! It's every man for himself out there!

Fantastic: Bloody hell!

Fantastic runs over to Balls Nasty, guitar in hand, but Nasty is ready for him. Nasty picks him up and body slams him onto the roof of the car. PJP then comes out of nowhere, picks up Fantastic's fallen guitar, and knocks Nasty over the head with it several times, taking him to the ground. PJP gives him one final kick, knocking him out, and heads for the arena entrance.

Monroe: Balls Nasty may be a one-man wrecking crew, but he just made another enemy tonight!

With twelve minutes on the clock, Nuriko and Two-Ton Tommy walk down the ramp. Tommy is carrying a folding-chair. He helps Nuriko into the ring and sets the chair up for her. She sits down, and he exits the ring and takes a seat off to the side.

Monroe: What the hell? What is Nuriko doing? She's not actually going to enter the Battle Royal? Is she?

Marcum: She's a psychopath! I hope she gets what's coming to her!

Grimm and Darth are exiting their locker room when Howlerama run at them with chairs. Howler goes after Grimm, and Highwayman makes sure to keep Darth occupied.

Slick Willie: Take 'em to the ground, boys!

Nowhereman happens to turn the corner behind Slick Willie. He calmly walks up to him, turns him around, and delivers a Fuck Off Slam. A bat then slips into each hand, and Nowhereman runs at Howler, knocking him the head and back, and kicking him in the head as he falls. He then does the same to Highwayman. Grimm and Darth pick up both of their attackers and choke slam them. Darth moves towards Nowhereman, who is still brandishing his bats.

Marcum: This is it! If you thought it was bad before, you ain't seen nothing yet!

Grimm holds out his arm to stop Darth, and whispers something in his ear. He then nods to Nowhereman, and the Dark Lords head off in another direction.

Monroe: What did Grimm tell Darth?

Oakley finally finds the keys and starts the car, but when he puts it in gear he notices that the steering wheel is locked with the Club. Oakley turns off the engine and fumbles with the keys. There are three different Club keys on the ring. Oakley tries the first, but it doesn't work. Neither does the second. Frustrated, and with eight minutes to get to the ring, Oakley tries the final key, unlocks the club, starts the car, and drives it towards the ring entrance.

Monroe: You gotta admit, Madman, Oakley is using his head right now!

The Dark Lords are walking down the hall when they encounter Bibbo and I-man. Determined to be in the ring on time, the Dark Lords work together, with Grimm grabbing Bibbo, and Darth grabbing I-man. They slam them into each other, whip them into the walls, and choke slam them simultaneously. They then continue on their way, straight to the ring.

Marcum: I'll give you that, Mouth. With the Dark Lords running loose back there, it's smarter to run!

PJP comes down the ramp and enters the ring. He is immediately followed by Nowhereman. They both stop when they see Nuriko in the ring, and Two-Ton Tommy sitting off to the side, by the barrier. Nowhereman shrugs and enters. PJP follows.

Monroe: They don't know what to think!

Marcum: Sure they do! They think Nuriko is insane!

The RDJL, minus Punch/Counter Punch, is sitting around a table playing poker when Johnny Evil and Arial walk into the room.

Johnny Evil: A card game! Deal me in!

Arial: You don't know how to play poker.

Johnny Evil: Is that what their playing? Then why is the Hulk allowed to play?

The Hulk looks up from his hand.

Hulk: Hulk knows how to play!

Johnny Evil: Really? I bet you don't even know what you have in your hand!

Hulk: Hulk knows! Hulk have full house!

Tommy Savitz: I'm out.

Spade: Beat me.

Urg: Urg am fold.

Rosalita: All I have is a queen of hearts.

Spamm: That beats my pair.

Arial: I guess Hulk wins (looks at the pot) two dollars. I hope you were done betting.

Hulk jumps to his feat and smashes his fists into the table, breaking it in half.

Hulk: HULK SMASH!

Urg and Spade try to restrain Hulk, but Klinton and the Liberal Conspiracy bust into the room and start attacking the RDJL. Johnny Evil and Arial sneak out the door as pieces of chairs start flying everywhere, along with anything else not nailed down.

Arial: What do we do now?

Johnny Evil: We go to the ring.

Johnny Evil and Arial head down the hallway. As they turn the corner, Spamm gets tossed out of the room. He gets back his feet, brushes himself off, yells "SPANDEX MONKEY MAN!" and leaps back into the room.

Monroe: That wasn't very nice of Johnny Evil. In fact, that was down right evil of him to ruin their poker game.

Marcum: He's called Johnny Evil for a reason, Mouth. He's downright evil.

Son of Mxy exits his locker room to find PenWing and King Snarf taking turns whipping each other into doors. Not wanting to be left out, SoM grabs a chair and runs after them. He hits PenWing on his back, but that opens him up to a knee to the stomach from Snarf. SoM drops the chair, and Snarf Bastard Bombs him onto it. PenWing gets back to his feet, delivers a Spin-o-rama to Snarf, and starts dragging him down the hall.

Marcum: He can't do that to the champ!

Monroe: But where is PenWing taking him!?

The Dark Lords finally reach the stage entrance and make their way to the ring. Johnny Evil and Arial are right behind them. Johnny helps Arial to a ringside seat, and enters the squared circle.

Monroe: There are now six entrants in the ring, and only a two minutes left on the clock!

Marcum: Way to state the obvious!

Almost at the car entrance to the ramp, Oakley sees El Superbeasto standing in his way, and he stops the car. He notices that El Superbeasto has the masks of Los Monstrous Azules masks on his belt. Oakley revs up the car, puts it back in gear, and slams on the accelerator. El Superbeasto jumps up, slams into the windshield, and rolls over the car. Oakley slams on the breaks, grabs the Club, gets out of the car, and races to the ring, slipping in under the ropes with only a minute to spare.

Monroe: Chris Oakley has made it to the ring!

King Snarf is sent rolling down the ramp, with PenWing right on his heals.

Marcum: What the hell!? That ain't right!

PenWing drags Snarf to the ring and rolls him in. Suddenly, Spamm comes racing down the ramp. As the final seconds tick off the clock, Spamm leaps into the ring, and bell rings. Snarf looks over at PenWing as he gets to his feet.

Snarf: You bastard, PenWing!

PenWing: This is just the beginning, Champ!

PenWing heads up the ramp as Snarf looks on, and Nuriko nails him the back with her chair. This sparks the match, with PJP hitting Darth in the head with his pipe, and Spamm knocking him out of the ring with a Spandex Superkick. Grimm then hits Spamm with the flatliner, picks him up, and tosses him out. Darth, none too happy about being eliminated first, finishes Spamm off with a Darkside Slam.

Marcum: Spamm was innocent in this! How can Darth do that to him?

Monroe: Innoncent? He eliminated him! Again! You know what they say about playing with fire!

On the other end of the ring, Oakley and Nuriko work on Johnny Evil together. Nuriko swings her chair at Johnny, but he ducks, and she hits Oakley. Johnny then kicks the chair into her, and throws her out of the ring.

Marcum: Johnny Evil turned Nuriko into flubber! This is great!

Monroe: Look at Arial cheering him on. This is wrong. Nuriko is a woman!

Marcum: A woman would not have entered that ring! Nuriko is fair game! Make that WAS!

Oakley gets back to his feet as Johnny mocks Two-Ton Tommy, who is helping Nuriko back to her feet. He grabs his head from behind and delivers the Full Metal Jacket. Oakley gets back up and sees Snarf slowly getting back up. He walks over, knees him in the stomach, picks him up, and throws him out of the ring.

Marcum: He can't do that to the champ!

Monroe: He just did!

Oakley turns around to see Nowhereman and Grimm working together to take out PJP. Oakley picks up the chair and walks to that end, but PJP grabs Grimm's arm and whips him into Oakley. He then runs at Nowhereman and clotheslines him out of the ring.

Monroe: How did PJP turn that to his advantage?

Marcum: It was that idiot, Oakley! He should have finished off Johnny Evil first. Instead, he caused Nowhereman's elimination!

PJP then lifts Grimm off of Oakley, and sends him over the ropes. Johnny Evil gets back up, and he helps Oakley back to his feet and walks with him to the ropes. Johnny tries to lift Oakley over, but Oakley holds on. Oakley then gets a hold of Johnny, lefts him up. and Red Alert's him out of the ring. However, before Oakley can collect himself, PJP hits him with the pipe, sending him to the mat.

Monroe: It's down to PJP and Chris Oakley!

PJP bends down to pick up Oakley when Balls Nasty appears on the stage. PJP stops what he's doing and Oakley takes advantage, giving PJP a low blow. Oakley gets to his feet, lifts up PJP, and Red Alert's him out of the ring, winning the Battle Royal.

Monroe: I can't believe it! It will be Chris Oakley and Wednesday for the Hardcore Porn Title at Robblemania!

Marcum: We still have two matches left tonight, and there will be hell to pay!

Dark Lords vs. Punch/Counter Punch

Bibbo and I-man are in the ring when the Dark Lords make their entrance. They are visibly upset after being choke slammed during the 20 minute invitation. The Dark Lords split up, and enter the ring on opposite sides. What should be a match quickly turns into a brawl, with the Dark Lords picking up right where they left off. It's not long before Grimm is standing on the top turnbuckle with Bibbo, and Darth has I-man across his shoulders. Simultaniously, Grimm executes the Tripple 6 Bomb, while Darth delivers the Darkside Slam. Before they can go for double covers, the company comes running out.

Monroe: What are they doing here?

Marcum: Slick Willie knows it's not good business to let the comptition get you down!

Highwayman climbs the ropes and hits the Hi-Jack on Darth. Howler zeroes in on Grimm and gives him the Rage, followed by the Full Moon. They then make the Big Bucks out of the Dark Lords.

Charlie helps Slick Willie (who is wearing a neck brace) into the ring as Howlerama clear it of fallen wrestlers. Slick Willie has a mic.

Slick Willie: This is how business is done. But we're not finished! Nowhereman! No one, and Ah mean NO ONE lays a hand on ME! Just who do you think you are!? You're a NOBODY! You're going NOWHERE! And at Robblemania, mah boy Charlie here is gonna bring the gold you where around your waist home to Big Business, where it belongs! Because the only gold nobodies such as yourself get, is fools gold! And you're full of it!

Slick Willie throws down the mic and "La Grange" plays over the speakers.

Marcum: Hear that? Nowhereman's a nobody! Someone finally called him what he is!

Monroe: But will Slick Willie regret those words? Nowhereman isn't alone anymore!

Marcum: Who cares!? His new partner, if even that, is afraid to show his face, and you know what that means?

Monroe: No, why don't you tell me?

Marcum: That means he's just another nobody!

Fear And Loathing Semi-Finals: PenWing/Captain Sammitch vs King Snarf/Joe Mama

“Let’s Get It Started” played as PenWing and Captain Sammitch, accompanied by Meeko, walked to the ring. Captain Sammitch was leaning a little on Meeko and favoring his ribs. PenWing had a look of anger and intensity on his face. They entered the ring and acknowledged the cheering crowd.

Madman: Looks like Sammitch is in rough shape! I guess now he and Joe Mama are even for last week!

Monroe: This is disgusting…the Bastardo Family should be disqualified from this tournament!

“Faded” kicked in and Joe Mama, King Snarf, and Sneaky Bunny came out from the back. The crowd booed as the three Bastardo Family members made their way to ringside. Joe Mama had a big grin on his face, but King Snarf (looking extremely roughed up) was all business.

Madman: Still thinking about disqualifications, Monroe? Looks like PenWing just cost his team this match!

Monroe: It’s almost good to see things evened up!

PenWing and Meeko helped Captain Sammitch through the ropes, and then turned to see who would be starting for the Bastardo Family. Meanwhile, both Joe Mama and Sneaky Bunny managed to convince King Snarf to let Joe Mama start the match for their team. With both teams represented, the ladies hopped to the ring floor and started to taunt each other from their respective corners. PenWing stalked each other, sizing each other up and trash-talking. PenWing pointed to King Snarf and demanded that he start the match. Joe Mama did the same, pointing to Captain Sammitch. The two ended up nose-to-nose, berating each other.

PenWing: You sold yourself out to Louie Bastardo. You aren’t fit to wear a title!

Joe Mama: Big talk from a guy who’s owned by his manager! You and Sammitch are both lying scumbags!

The two started to trade blows, with neither one getting the upper hand. PenWing flung Joe Mama into the ropes and executed a back-drop, but Joe Mama was able to lure him into a small package for a quick two count. Joe Mama tried to go for the quick win, setting up the East Coast Hammer, but PenWing slid out of his grip and locked in a Spin-O-Lock to steal a quick win of his own. Joe Mama struggled until finally making it to the ropes, forcing PenWing to break the hold. PenWing flung him into the ropes to set up a Spin-O-Rama, but Joe Mama was able to duck the kick, tag King Snarf into the match, and distract PenWing with an attempt at a clothesline. PenWing was able to duck Joe Mama’s attack, but was hit by a scissor kick from King Snarf. But Captain Sammitch pulled down the top rope, sending Joe Mama over it and onto the ring floor. Sammitch hopped down and he and Joe Mama started brawling outside the ring.

King Snarf pressed his advantage with a series of punches, chops, and kicks to his opponent. But PenWing was able to fight back and gain the upper hand. A Gordie Howe that sent King Snarf to the mat gave PenWing the chance to try a High Holy Howe, but King Snarf rolled out of the way and, right when PenWing hit the mat, he executed a Wildsault. King Snarf got a two count, but once again PenWing kicked out. King Snarf slapped the headlock on PenWing, hoping to get him to tap out. But PenWing was able to slide back and get tangled in the ropes, which forced the ref to break up the headlock.

Outside the ring, the other two members of the Bastardo Family were facing off with their opposite number. Sneaky Bunny and Meeko were trading blows while Joe Mama and Captain Sammitch were trying to inflict as much damage on each other as possible. Meeko drove Sneaky Bunny through Fat Bastard and Llawler’s announce table with a Jackknife Meeko-Bomb, but Joe Mama hit an East Coast Hammer, driving Sammitch’s head onto the ring steps. As Joe Mama rushed back to his corner, Meeko ran to Sammitch to check on him and try to wake him up.

Joe Mama made it to the ring corner just in time to see PenWing spear King Snarf in his and Sammitch’s ring corner. Then PenWing Irish-whipped King Snarf into the Bastardo corner and speared him again as Joe Mama quickly tagged King Snarf’s right hand. The ref motioned that the tag was legal, but PenWing didn’t see it. Instead, he pulled King Snarf into the center of the ring and hit him with Sudden Death. PenWing climbed to the top of a neutral corner to try and hit another High Holy Howe but, once again, King Snarf was able to roll just out of the way. PenWing crashed to the mat, and then was hit with a Flying Tea Bag Slam from Joe Mama – the legal Bastardo. The ref counted the pin. King Snarf and Joe Mama will be facing Spandex Monkey Man and Tommy Savitz in the Fear And Loathing Tag Team Finals next week!

But, as “When It All Goes Wrong Again” played, it was clear that nothing between the two teams was settled. Both teams were shouting at each other as PenWing, Captain Sammitch, and Meeko walked back to the locker rooms. Sneaky Bunny was screaming Meeko’s name and trying to get through the ropes to go after her, only to be held back by Joe Mama and King Snarf who had choice words for their Robblemania XXI opponents.

Monroe: It seems like both teams are looking forward to facing each other at Robblemania XXI, Marcum. Although the Bastardo Family got the win, it looks like they still feel cheated.

Madman: What do you expect? They wanted to take out their opponents! The tournament is almost secondary to them! Both teams were looking for some clear momentum going into Robblemania, and neither of them is satisfied!

As King Snarf and Joe Mama tried to calm an obviously livid Sneaky Bunny, Tuesday Night Havoc faded out.