-I'm not sure, but I think I'm in love. But not really.
Blow up doll, or real dol?-I think I was a knight in one of my former lives.
Of the Dinnertable?-Apparently, in the Chinese Zodiac, Dogs are most compatible with other Dogs, Pigs, Horses and Tigers. All this stuff about interspecies dating sounds SO wrong.
I'm a boar. Or is that Bore?-At least once in your life, you've all eaten cat. And earthworms.
That sounds vaguely sexual.-Despite my damndest to start opening up, I still wonder why I do so to complete strangers here. Do you really want to know of my struggles when you have your own to deal with?
Well, if we read about your struggles, we feel better about our own, because we can always think "Well shit, 'least I don't have it as badly as that poor fucker. Explosive anal herpes... damn...."-I watched helplessly as one of my former high school classmates died from being hit by a truck. She was almost certainly brain-dead at the scene. All my mom and I could do was keep her body warm with a blanket. She officially died a few days later.
In reading about this, and the Terri Schiavo case on Fark, I wonder, why would anyone keep a shell alive after the brain is dead. It's not like we've perfected brain implants, or even know what about 70% of the brain does. Presumably, the brain makes us what we are, and without it, we're just meatbags. But that's just my opinion.-Is marriage healthy?
www.nomarriage.com answers this question. Short answer: No fuckin' way.-Hell is just a state of mind.
Seemingly, so is reality.-If I had the opportunity to hump a fictional alien, I think I'd have a go with a Wookiee. Kiddin'! Damn. I'd hump a Hutt.
Hutt? You like fat chicks, eh? I'd nail Tigra. Maybe I'm a furry at heart.-Pale white girls with black girl-sized asses are the latest thing.
Ain't no white girl that can match a Black girl's ass! It's genetics!-I don't know what I want or what to do for my birthday. June 25, by the way. I'll be 23, but I already feel like I'm close to retirement.
Drinking and strip clubs is always a great fallback plan. And you're only a year older than me? Hm.-Star Wars used to be cooler than Star Trek. But now, both franchises suck.
Star Wars is Lucas' fault solely. If Enterprise had been written by Ira Steven Behr and the rest of the DS9 Crew, it would still be on the air!-Kobe was guilty.
Eh. The girl was a whore. Six of one, half dozen of the other.-Why must everything be Red and Blue now? What're we, some fuckin' Gang Nation?!
No, just a gang of idiots.-I wish I could eat a Choco Taco a day. The DESSERT, you perverts.
I'd take the girls.-For all you haters, soy isn't all that bad. Still, it's not as good as a stack of pancakes. Delicious golden pancakes. If I can find a girl who can bend like a pretzel, make pancakes and is just as much a omni-geek as I am, I'll marry her.
No soy titty, no soy milk. Soy juice. Lewis Black said so.-Cheech is no one near as cool as Chong.
Cheech went mainstream. Chong stayed a pothead. That should say it all.-Everybody must see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when it comes out in April.
Never even read the books.-When I die, I'd like a 'Nawlins/Viking Funeral combo. I'd like a band playing and dancing down the middle of the street to the edge of the shore, where they'd place my body on a barge and light that sumbitch up as it sinks into the sunset.
You could always pull a Hunter S. Thompson and have your ashes shot out of a gonzo fist cannon... or maybe be like Bob Marley, and have your widow smoke some of you in a blunt.
