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Last week's Havoc saw Chris Oakley win the 20-Minute Invitaion Hardcore Porn Battle Royal! For 20 minutes, total anarchy ensued and many of the RDCW's finest wrestlers took advantage to settle some scores. Some even created new ones!
Also last week, King Snarf and Joe Mama eliminated Captain Sammitch and PenWing from the Fear and Loathing Memorial Tag Team Tournament!
What will happen this week, the final Havoc on the Road to Robblemania!?
Dark Lords (30%, 6 Votes)
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Punch/Counterpunch (50%, 10 Votes)
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Howlerama (20%, 4 Votes)
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Johnny Evil (70%, 14 Votes)
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The Hulk (30%, 6 Votes)
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Wednesday (50%, 10 Votes)
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Nowhereman (50%, 10 Votes)
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James Fantastic (78%, 14 Votes)
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Balls Nasty (22%, 4 Votes)
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Charlie (30%, 6 Votes)
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Son of Mxy (70%, 14 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch / PenWing (Champs) (52%, 11 Votes)
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PJP / Rex (48%, 10 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man / Tommy Savitz (33%, 7 Votes)
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King Snarf / Joe Mama (67%, 14 Votes)
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Durango 95 plays, and Charlie makes his way down to the ring. Climbing into the ring, he speaks
Charlie: At Robblemania 21, I hope to prove to you all just how overrated Noweherman is. He may have given us the Intercuntinental belt, a belt that I notice he has still yet to retrieve, and he may once have led the RwO, but that was a long time ago. Now he;s simply a washed up LOSER who's got lucky.
Marcum:That's what I call trash talking!
Charlie: Somehow I can't help but notice that the last time we face off, he sent his lackey after me. Do you know why that was? Because he was too damn scared to come after me himself!
The crowd boos
Charlie: Go on, boo all you want. It won't change the fact that I'm gonna be the first member of The Company to bring home a title next week at Robblemania!
Monroe:Charlie seems very sure of himself!
Marcum:Why shouldn't he be? With The company on his side, he's invincible!
Charlie: Tonight, I'm facing off against Son of Mxy, who has seen fit to challenge for the RDCW Big Cheese Championship. Tonight, I intend to prove just how misguided that was!
Monroe:You can tell that Bill Williams has been educating this boy!
Marcum:How?
Monroe:Charliwwould never have used a word like 'misguided' before now!
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*As we come back from commercial, Lying From You playing and Johnny Evil is standing in the ring with Ariel. There is a stand in between them with some signs set up on it.*
JE: I know there is lot of speculation about the ways there will be to win the Chicago style match at Robblemania, and I will get to that. First, I'd like to address the members of RDJL. As long as you're on Spandex Monkey Man's side, you're a target. You're a medium for me to use to send messages. I've already done so with Bibbo, and tonight I'll do it again when I send the Hulk through a poker table. Now, I realize some of the words I've used are a little big for the Hulk's comprehension, so allow me to put it in terms he can understand:
*JE clears his throat and takes a deep breath.*
JOHNNY EVIL SMASH PUNY HULK!!
*Ariel laughs and the crowd boos.*
Now, on to Robblemania. On the signs behind me, I have all the different ways there will be to win the Chicago Style Match. To the best of my knowledge, none of these methods of victory have ever been used in a wrestling match. My lovely assistant, Ariel, will display the appropriate sign with a pointing ability that Vanna White and Barker's beauties can only dream about. Victory method number one is Performing one of your opponent's finishing moves on any wrestler who is not involved in the match. Next, trapping your opponent in a yellow car that is not a Taxi. For the purposes of the match, a light truck or SUV will count as a car. Semis or other large trucks, however, will not. Next, is getting Michio Kaku to sigh a copy of one of Stephen Hawking's books. That way, the show will count as educational. Particularly appropriate for the match, you can win by getting your picture taken next to a man in a hot dog suit. Conversely, you can win by taking your opponent's picture with fitness guru Richard Simmons.
Monroe: GOOD GOB! NOT RICHARD SIMMONS!
Marcum: Hey, our mics are on!
JE: You can also win by stealing your opponent's female assistant's left shoe. Sandals will count as shoes in this instance. Next is forcing your opponent to say Notwedge is cool backwards three times. Another way of winning is to lock your opponent inside Joe Mama's locker. Also, you can win by getting ANY cubs fan in the building to admit that the Cubs probably won't win the World Series this year. I know, that's basically impossible, but no one said this would be easy, just gimmicky. Now, you've already agreed to the match so there's nothing you can say about the methods of victory I've chosen. So, I guess that's it.
Ariel: Johnny, you forgot. You said I could pick one too.
JE: Oh, yeah. What did you pick?
*Ariel shows the last sign and it says "Say 'I've never wrestled under the name Spandex Monkey Man' without lying.*
JE: Well, I'm not going to argue with that one.
*Ariel and JE laugh as JE's music starts up.*
Monroe: That's totally unfair!
Marcum: Not unfair, just plain evil!
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Camera fades to the backstage area,where Chris Oakley and Ian St.John Bond are watching the replay of Johnny Evil's promo and shaking their heads in amazement.
BOND: How utterly and embarrassingly childish.
CHRIS(nodding): Spandex Monkey Man is gonna KILL him.
BOND: Now then,old sport,have you reviewed the tapes of Mr.Wednesday's recent title defenses?
CHRIS: Every last frame. (grins) When we hook up at Robblemania,he'll be the one getting knocked into the middle of next week. And after I'm done with him,I've got some unfinished business with Peasant Snarf and Joke Mama--I might even have a little something for Johnny Evil,if there's time.
BOND: First things first,Christopher. Concentrate on winning the Hardcore Championship from Mr.Wednesday,and the rest will take care of itself in due time.
CHRIS: Speaking of taking care of business,let's see how Los Monstruos Azules are coming in their preparations for their handicap match with El Superbeasto.
With that,Chris and Ian turn off the tape and walk off camera to an adjacent locker room,where Los Azules are working on a top-secret new finishing move they plan to unveil at Robblemania.
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"When It All Goes Wrong Again" hits the speakers as King Snarf makes his way to the ring!
KS: Ladies and gentlemen, Robblemania is one week away! Are you all excited? *crowd cheers* Are you ready for Robblemania? *crowd cheers louder* Do you think that Son of Mxy and PenWing fighting me for the World title will be a helluva main event? *crowd cheers really loud* Well, too bad! 'Cause nothing is going to make me happier than retaining my World Title on the grandest stage of them all when I win with a headlock! *Crowd boos*
Now, clearly, PenWing and SoM aren't quite aware of what they're getting themselves into. So I've invited an old acquaintance here to set them straight. Ladies and gentlemen, you know him, you love him, here he is- TK-069!
"Wanksta" by 50 Cent hits the speaker as the crowd goes wild. There cheers quickly turn to boos as it is not TK but an old man dressed in TK's Hammer get-up who makes his way to the ring.
Marcum: Look, TK's back! Man he's let himself go!
Monroe: Oh for the love of... That's not TK-069!
Marcum: King Snarf said it was! The champ wouldn't lie, would he?
The old TK slowly gets in the ring and is handed a microphone by one of the ring crew. Old TK looks befuddled.
KS: TK? It's me, King Snarf!
Old TK: Aaah! Don't retire me again!
KS: No, no, no! I just invited you here because I beat you for the title and you haven't showed up in the Cheesedome since. Now, you used to be quite the regular here. What happened?
Old TK: I stopped taking my Metamucil.
Marcum: Ah-ha-haa! He's not regular!
Monroe: I'm less than amused, and so are these fans.
KS: TK, I gotta say, you've seemed to age a bit. What's the deal?
Old TK: Well, when you beat the holy hell out of me, it took a few years off my life. I had no choice but to retire.
KS: How's that been?
Old TK: Not so good. Stareena left me, and even Llance has stopped making obscene phone calls!
KS: Oh, that's TOO bad... So any plans for Robblemania weekend?
Old TK: Well, I'm gonna wake up a 6 a.m., go to the local mall and walk around for a couple hours, go home and watch Matlock, then some warm broth for dinner before turning down for bed at 6:30 p.m.
KS: WOW. That's the highlife right there. Any words for PenWing or SoM before you go?
Old TK: For Gob's sake, don't show up unless you want to be retired like me! Treasure your youth and don't face King Snarf!
KS: Well, there you have it boys! You've heard what happens to folks who face me in the ring, straight from the horse's mouth! And if that didn't convince you squaring of with me is a bad idea...
King Snarf drops the mic and boots the old man in the stomach, setting him up for a vicious Bastard Bomb! King Snarf raises his arms triumphantly as he leaves the ring, crowd booing fiercely the whole time.
Marcum: Look at that! King Snarf took out the ex-champ in no time! He's gonna make short work of the challengers at Robblemania!
Monroe: That was, without a doubt, one of the most appalling things I have seen in all my years here! I hope that King Snarf gets whats coming to him this Sunday!
Last edited by King Snarf; 2005-03-25 5:32 AM.
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Pinball Wizard plays, and Spandex Monkey Man makes his way down to the ring, accompanied by Tommy, Punch/Counterpunch and Hulk. Rosalita is once again notable by her absence. Spandex gets into the ring, and speaks
SMM: Greetings, fans of the RDCW! Tonight is undoubtedly a big night for the RDJL!
Major pops from the crowd, and a chant of R-D-J-L!
SMM: Thankyou very much. Tonight, Bibbo and I-Man will be facing off against The Company and The Dark Lords in a triple threat tag match. I don't need to tell you how dangerous those men are. Well, the Dark Lords, at any rate!
Laughter from the crowd
SMM: On a slightly more serious note, Hulk will be facing off against Johnny Evil tonight. Hulk, leave a little bit for me won't you? Otherwise there'll be nothing left for the match at Robblemania!
Hulk Hollers HULK SMASH PUNY JOHNNY EVIL!
SMM: Finally, Myself and Tommy will be facing off against Joe Mama and King Snarf in a match to determine who will face off against Penwing and Sammitch at Robblemania for the Tag team Championship.
Tommy grabs a microphone and speaks
TS: I would also like to announce that my tag oartner has forbidden his sidekick, Rosalita, from ringside, in what can only amount to a surefire determination to get our arses kicked.
SMM: Look, you saw what happened last time, didn't you? I'm not having people from my team interfere in a match. Besdies, when she did that we lost, so it works both ways.
TS: They're the Bastardo's! They're gonna have the whole Family at Ringside!
SMM: Hmmm, that's a point. Still, you know what they say
Tommy sighs. He does know
SMM: SPANDEX MONKEY MAN!!!!!!
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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Paper Plane plays, and Fantastic makes his way to the ring, playing along on his guitar. The crowd cheers him with their usual enthusiasm, but as he gets into the ring he becomes serious
JF: Last week on Havoc, Balls Nasty did something unforgivable. Not only did he attack me with little or no justification, and pummel Rex for looking out for his buddy, but he wrecked my car. A vintage Aston Martin DB5, as seen in James Bond.
Fat Retard: BUHGAWD!
Monroe: For once, the Retard's right! Balls Nasty has to pay!
Marcum: Surely everyone's overreacting a bit! It's only a car!
Monroe: Didn't you hear the man! It's a DB5!
JF: Tonight, The doc has set up a match between me and Balls in which I fully intend to get my revenge. Four soft-top cars will be set up in the parking lot, and Balls or I will have to put our opponent through two of those cars in order to win the match. I call it the 'You Fucked Up My Car!' Match.
Marcum: This really is absurd!
Monroe: You just don't get it, Madman! What Balls has done is unforgivable!
JF: Of course, Balls Nasty is not solely to blame for this piece of destruction. I issue an open challenge to Rex and PJP, as they too are to blame.
Marcum: I can see that Rex is involved, but what about PJP?
Monroe: It's because of Balls's attack on PJP that Rex went after him in the first place!
JF: Also, there is one other man I must confessed to being dissapointed in. Chris Oakley and I are, as you know, good friends. And yet, Chris did nothing to aid me during that particular brawl.
Marcum: This is ridiculous! Fantastic is overreacting completely!
JF: Instead, you focused on getting to the ring to win the match. Fair enough, you did just that, and well done. But I've always placed friendship above titles, and I would expect my friends to show the same courtesy. As such, I'm issuing you a challenge, in any kind of match you wish, to face me. 'Course, if you're fortunate enough to win the title, you can include that in the match as well if you accept.
Paper Plane plays again, and Fantastic leaves the ring, shaking hands and singing autogrpahs for the fans
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-03-29 2:20 AM.
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<"Strike it Up" blasts over the speakers and the crowd lights up as the Boobie Belt Champion, Meeko, and the Tag Team Donkey Lovin Champions, Captain Sammitch and PenWing, walk to the ring. The champs are wearing their belts, and PenWing is holding up his Sherwood. Sammitch bends the ropes for Meeko as PenWing grabs a mic. He enters the ring and hands it to Meeko.>
Meeko: So Sneaky Bunny needs Joe Mama to make demands for her now? Sneaky, in case you were wondering, the reason I never offered you a title shot is because you never showed the initiative to take it on your own. All you had to do was ask. You know that, and the fans know that. But, instead, you decided to sneak behind my back to get your shot. Well, Sneaky, you've got your shot at Robblemania, but look what it cost you.
<The crowd booes as the Cheese-o-tron shows Sneaky Bunny knocking Meeko's head into the turnbuckle and then falling backward off the ring apron. The video continues, showing the Divas pinning Meeko for the Lipstick Lesbian Tag Team Championship.>
Meeko: That wasn't just any championship we held, Sneaky. We were the first ever RDCW Lipsitck Lesbian Tag Team Champions. We were the Mid-West Hotties. We were something special. And you gave that up for a shot at a title you won't win. You want me alone in that ring, without Captain Sammitch, without PenWing at ringside? Well, all you had to do was ask.
<Meeko hands the mic to PenWing.>
PenWing: Speaking of asking... King Snarf, I know you didn't ask to be entered in the Hardcore Porn Battle Royal, so I took some initiative. How did you like it? Was it good for you, because it was damn good for me. Sure, you got some revenge later that night, when you and Joe eliminated us from the Fear and Loathing Memorial Tag Team tournament, and I hope you guys win that tourney. I hear there will be a nice trophy awarded for it. And that will be the last thing you win. You talk about retiring wrestlers from the RDCW. You talk about retiring me. You can't retire me. And do you know why? Because we're in overtime right now, and that means Sudden Death rules. One match. One move. One title. The Heavyweight Cheese Title will be mine at Robblemania!
<PenWing hands the mic to Captain Sammitch.>
Captain Sammitch: You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking since everything that happened last week. And I have to say that maybe attacking Joe Mama from behind might not have been the best thing to do.
<The crowd murmurs, unsure of what to think of this...>
CS: After all, maybe I could have just asked for a matchup instead of breaking up a match he was in. But then I'd have to watch another one of those dumbass Bastardo Family in-ring celebrations at the end of the match! And I wasn't sure if any of you fans deserved that either.
<The fans respond with a mixture of laughter and cheers...>
CS: So Joe, I'd like to apologize for knocking off a Bastardo Family trademark and attacking an opponent from behind like a candyass. I assure you that next time, you'll see me coming - although it may not help you all that much. At any rate, I wanted to let you know I accept your stipulation. My friends and I don't need any help putting the Bastardos in their place. So I hope you'll be at your best when RobbleMania rolls around. I know we'll be spending more than enough time getting ready for it. You may wanna keep your eyes peeled for a little surprise. Don't panic, it won't be during our match. I'd hate to spring anything on you without your entourage there to bail you out.
PenWing and Meeko seem amused by this.
CS: I'm told you think I'm into grandstanding. Well, you're entitled to your opinion. We do what we do for three reasons. I'll admit it right away - one of the reasons we do what we do is the fans. <Sammitch pauses and grins at the applause that follows.> They deserve to see a good show with fair, quality competition. And you and your 'Family' have been denying them that with your backstabbing, sneak attacks, and of course Snarf's pathetically unamusing antics.
Which brings us to reason number two. We do what we do because we're interested in shutting the Bastardo Family down. We can tolerate you as individuals. We just can't stand you as a group. It's only personal if you make it personal.
But yeah, reason number three? We do what we do because it's fun. Sure, we've lost a few matches. But we've won our fair share of them too. We stick up for each other, and we enjoy what we do. If that scares you - if PenWing, Meeko, and I are a threat to all of you - that's your problem, not ours. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let you and your 'Family' ruin our fun!
<"Let's Get It Started" blasts over the speaker and the crowd roars as the trio leave the ring.>
Edited because I didn't give PenWing props for framing this in-ring.
Last edited by Captain Sammitch; 2005-03-26 12:48 AM.
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And now, another RobbleMania moment!
March 14, 2004
We see Aussie Scumbag Dave move to hit Grimm with one of the Donkey Lovin Tag Title belts. At the last moment, Grimm ducks and Dave hits his partner Danny with the belt, knocking him out. Grimm chokeslams Dave and tosses him out of the ring. Grimm tags in Doc. Mid-Nite and the two hit their finisher: Sloppy Seconds! Doc pins Danny for the one two three and the tag titles!
Backstage, the Power Trip locker room later that night, we see Grimm, Doc. MN, and the new Women's Booby Champion Cowgirl Jack, celebrating their wins with champagne.
Grimm(Uncorking a champagne bottle and inadvertently(?) spraying down Cowgirl Jack: "We told the world! We took it all tonight!"
CJ: "Grimm! Stop spilling the champagne on my new white blouse!"
This RobbleMania moment has been brought to you by Mars Bars! RDCW presents RobbleMania live March 28th, 2005!
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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As the RM moment fades from the Cheese-O-Tron, Grimm's music hits and he walks down the ramp towards the ring.
Monroe: "Certainly, Madman, we saw happier times for Grimm in that RobbleMania moment."
Marcum: "Yeah, but it's gonna be a different story this year. Balls Nasty is gonna finish Grimm off!"
*Grimm enters the ring and begins to speak.
"Balls, has it started to sink through that lice infested head of yours yet? Has it? I'm never going to stop. The monster's been unleashed for a long time now. No more games. No more "Little Grimminowski." No more running and hiding. You'd better hope that you don't get hurt in your match with Fantastic tonight. Because I've got the match signed for RobbleMania. The Back Dock Brawl. I'm going to enjoy devising new ways to hurt you, Balls."
"The match starts on the back dock of the Lucky Dog's behind the CheeseDome. The goal of the match is to make it into the CheeseDome and into the middle of the ring where Lothar will declare the winner. There can be only one. Balls, it's time to fin-"
Grimm is interrupted as the Company's music hits and "Slick" Bill Williams makes his way to the ring accompanied by Howlerama.
Monroe: "What is this? It's not their time to speak!"
Marcum: "Obviously, Bill Williams recognized that Grimm was putting people to sleep and came out to liven up the show a bit!"
BW: "Now just hold on a moment theah, son. You're out heah talking about Balls Nasty and RobbleMania when you've got some unfinished business with mah boys heah."
Grimm: "Blah blah blah, get to the point. This is MY time."
BW: "The point is we want a match against the Dark Lords next week on Havoc. I know you have some concerns, but rest assured, I will pay any price to get what I want. Money is no object."
Grimm: "No object."
BW: "That's right. No object. The Dark Lords. Howlerama. Havoc. No object. Any Price."
Grimm: "Any price, huh?" *Grimm looks at the crowd, who cheer profusely. He turns back to Bill Williams. "You got it. Here's my price." *Grimm hits "Slick" Willie with a Flatliner as the Howlers jump him. He fights them off as Darth runs down to the ring.
Together the Dark Lords clear the ring of the Company men as the Imperial March plays over the Cheese Dome speakers.
Monroe: "Bill Williams paid Grimm's price! But I don't think it was what he expected!"
Marcum: "Yeah, but next week Grimm's gonna have a bigger price to pay when the Company gets ahold of him and Darth in the ring!"
Grimm: "See you next week boys. And Bill, don't forget to say goodnight to the sandman!"
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“Faded” plays over the speakers as Joe Mama walks to the ring. Sneaky Bunny, King Snarf, and the rest of the Bastardo Family are conspicuous by their absence. Joe Mama grabs a microphone, barely looking at Monroe or Marcum, and enters the ring.
JM: I’m out here to respond to Captain Sammitch’s laughably biased revisionist history. For those of you out there who have trouble understanding words that have more than two syllables, that means that Sammitch tends to make things up as they suit him. The reason I’m out here solo is because, when the rest of the Family, specifically King Snarf and Sneaky Bunny, heard the ramblings that Sam-bitch and his boy-servant, Penny, passed off as the truth, it was all any of us could do to keep those two under control. And, at Robblemania, the Family doesn’t want either Meeko or PenWing using an attack tonight as the excuse for why they failed to win their matches.
First of all, Meeko, you’re awfully cocky for someone who hasn’t defended her title in over a month, which, by rights, should have forced the Championship Committee to strip you of your title. Maybe it was the lingering concussion talking, I don’t know. Be that as it may, Sneaky Bunny doesn’t need me to speak for her. I think, at No Way Out Of The Closet, she did all the speaking she needed. But the fact is, when she mentioned competing for the Women’s Boobie Belt to her “friends” PenWing and Captain Sammitch, they found every reason to put her off and keep her out of contention. Isn’t it interesting, then, when I CHOOSE to speak on her behalf, I have their undivided attention? The truth of the matter is that you’ve been protected for far too long by your boyfriend and slave. At Robblemania, you WILL be forced to show just what kind of Champion you are when you face the one competitor that you’ve spent your entire reign avoiding. And you WILL be found wanting!
PenWing, all jokes about your hockey fetish aside, I don’t want to spend much time talking about you. Everyone in the RDCW knows about the…untenable situation you find your career in. There isn’t a wrestler in the back, a fan in the stands, or a suit behind the scenes that doesn’t know you’re just making the best of a bad situation. You’re Meeko’s property, so you do what you can to make it appear as your choice. But the Family knows better and, at Robblemania, King Snarf has promised to put you out of the misery you cover up so well.
As for you, Sammitch…I don’t think you truly understand what you’ve gotten yourself into. You see, I never liked you. Our “alliance” was built on mutual need, not respect. Frankly, you sicken me. You are a sad, delusional little man. You babble about “Bastardo Family interference”, but we’ve never interfered in any of your matches. You complain about “Bastardo Family celebration” – I guess your “professional” jealousy truly is toxic. Otherwise, why would you complain about anyone – besides you – enjoying the fruits of their labors? You “tolerate” us? Little man, you don’t have a choice in the matter! The Bastardo Family has proven itself to be one of the most dominant forces in the RDCW, whether you like it or not! We are in the business of winning titles and, so far, we’re a perfect two for two! And what’s this crap about “It's only personal if you make it personal”? Are you finally admitting that you’ve decided to make things personal? Because there wasn’t a single thing about your title demand that anyone would call “professional”! Face facts, Sammitch...you know that the Family’s Legbreakers are gunning for your Tag Team Donkey Lovin’ titles, and it scares the Hell outta you. So, because we’re handling our business as “business”, you’ve created a personal feud in a desperate attempt to psyche yourselves up and try to avoid your inevitable downfall! Hey, whatever works for you, boyo! But last week should’ve shown you that the only thing on the Bastardo Family members’ minds are the gold you wear and the attempts you’re making to steal ours. Last week, King Snarf and I ousted you from the Fear And Loathing Tag Team Tournament. Next week, at Robblemania, we’re finishing what we’ve started. You and your boy are going down! And, this time, Sammitch, you won’t have Nowhereman or anyone else to come in and save you when I lock you up in the Joe Mama-Lock! No one’s coming to your aid when I drive that thick skull of yours to the mat with my East Coast Hammer! And no one can help you when I…well, you’re not the only one with a few surprises up your sleeve. So play up to the fans, Sammitch, and try to forget that, at Robblemania XXI, you’ll have no friends, no family, no one to save you when you face the inevitability that is Joe Mama!
And, as for the Fear And Loathing Tag Team Finals, I only have one thing to say. Spandex Monkey Man…Tommy Savitz…last week, the Bastardo Family dispatched two people who’ve been running their mouths about the Family. This week, we face another pair who shot their mouths off one too many times. We hope you took notes and did your homework on us. Because, last week, we tasted the blood in the water; this week is the feeding frenzy! Tonight, we’re taking you two out!!!
Joe Mama drops the mic as “Faded” starts again. He steps out of the ring and walks up the ramp to the back. The crowd is booing, but he doesn’t acknowledge them
Madman: It looks like the Bastardo Family is as focused as ever! I’d hate to be in Spandex Monkey Man’s or Tommy Savitz’ shoes!
Monroe: I have to agree that this has been the most focused and aggressive that Joe Mama, or any member of the Bastardo Family, has been!
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
No Interference Triple Threat Tag Team Match: Dark Lords vs. Punch/Counterpunch vs. Howlerama
Punch/Counterpunch are already in the ring when "I Want It All" starts playing and Howlerama comes out to the ring. They are shortly followed by the Dark Lords. At the ring stairs, Grimm holds up his hand to stop Darth, and tells the other two tag teams to start the match. Howler starts mocking Grimm, and calling him a coward. Bibbo grabs him from behind for a Bibboplex, and the ref orders Highwayman and I-man into their corners.
Marcum: That ain't right! Bibbo shouldn't attack people from behind before the match starts!
Monroe: Someone had to start things. Folks, this is a triple threat tag match. Two wrestlers fight in the ring, and they can tag anyone in to replace them, so one team always stays on the outside.
Bibbo keeps working Howler over, and he tags in I-man. I-man throws Howler into the unmanned corner, and splashes him. Howler falls to the mat and I-man covers him, but Darth steps into the ring and kicks I-man off of Howler. The ref orders Darth back into his corner, but Darth takes his time as Highwayman sneaks into the ring and pulls Howler to his corner. Darth then steps over the ropes, and the ref turns to see Highwayman tag himself in.
Monroe: Why is Darth helping Howlerma?
Marcum: Like you said, in order to win, the Dark Lords have to be tagged in.
Highwayman heads straight for I-man and commits Highway Robbery. He goes for the pin but Bibbo starts entering the ring, and the ref goes to stop him. Highwayman goes over the Bibbo, but the ref keeps them separated, and I-man gets back to his feet. He grabs Highwayman's arm for an Irish Whip, but Highwayman reverses it and sends him into the Dark Lord's corner so hard he knocks Darth from the ring apron.
Monroe: Oh no. He didn't want to do that!
Grimm grabs I-man by the throat, tagging himself in, climbs the top turnbuckle, lifts I-man up, and delivers a Kobe Special onto the arena floor. Grimm then steps into the ring, turns around, and tags in Darth, who has stepped back onto the ring apron. Highwayman quickly smacks Bibbo and steps out of the ring. Bibbo starts going after Highwayman, but the ref orders him into the ring.
Marcum: See that? That's a good business decision!
Bibbo starts trading blows with Darth. Finally, Darth kicks Bibbo in the stomach and lifts him up into the Sabre-Stretch. Before Darth can lock in the submission, Bibbo slips out of his grasp and pulls Darth down with a neck breaker.
Monroe: Unbelievable! It's no wonder Bibbo is a member of the RDJL! Only a superhero could take down a monster!
Marcum: Don't speak too soon!
Darth gets back to his feet and grabs Bibbo, throwing him into Howlerma's corner. Darth grabs Bibbo's throat for the Sabre-Slam, but Howler tags him. The ref orders Darth to release Bibbo and return to his corner. Darth does release Bibbo, and turns towards his corner as Howler enters the ring. But Darth quickly turns around and grabs Howler by the throat, lifting him up and delivering a devastating Sabre-Slam, so hard that he sends Howler through the ring.
Monroe: Buhgawd! That may have been a Sabre-Slam, but it looked more like Darth sent Howler straight to hell!
Darth exits the ring. Bibbo shrugs and makes the cover for the pin. As the Dark Lords exit, the Paramedics race down the ramp with a stretcher. Highwayman runs up the ramp, but when the Dark Lords turn to face him, he stops and they stare each other down as Havoc goes to break.
“Poker Tables” Match: Johnny Evil vs The Hulk
Johnny Evil and Ariel make their way to the ring as “Touch Me” by Samantha Fox plays over the speakers. Before entering the ring, Johnny and Ariel walk over to each poker table (set up around the ring) and test them for weight. Seemingly satisfied with how heavy and well made they are, the pair enter the ring. Ariel hands Johnny Evil a microphone.
JE: Cut my music!
The audience, Madman Marcum, and Mike Monroe audibly sigh in relief.
JE: Now play the Hulk’s music!
The “walking away” music from the “Incredible Hulk” TV series plays. Everyone groans in pain. From the rafters (or possibly outside the Cheese Dome), the Hulk falls and slams onto the arena floor. He grabs a table and lifts it over his head.
Hulk: HULK SMASH!!!
The Hulk flings the poker table into the ring. It bounces twice, barely missing an impassive Johnny Evil, and falls out of the ring.
Hulk: HULK SMASH JOHNNY EVIL!!!
Another table in hand, the Hulk jumps into the ring. Johnny Evil looks unimpressed as the Hulk looms over him. He still has the mic in hand.
Hulk: HULK STRONGEST THERE IS!!! JOHNNY MAKE HULK LOSE LOTSA MONEY!!! NOW HULK SMASH!!!
JE: Hulk likes to bet?
Hulk: (pause) HULK BEST POKER PLAYER!!! HULK BEST GAMBLER!!! HULK WINS EVERY TIME!!!
JE: Hulk wanna bet now?
Hulk: WHAT JOHNNY’S WAGER?
JE: Johnny bets that, from the top rope, Johnny jumps higher than Hulk.
Hulk: JOHNNY ON!!! HULK WIN BET, THEN SMASH!!!
Johnny climbs to the top rope, and then jumps up as high as he can. He lands onto the mat and looks at the Hulk in a very cocky manner. The Hulk laughs.
Hulk: PUNY JOHNNY NO MATCH FOR HULK!!! HULK NOT EVEN USE TOP ROPE!!!
The Hulk, from his standing position, leaps up as high as he can. The audience loses sight of him. Johnny, while he waits for the Hulk to fall back down, sets up the heavy oak poker table that the Hulk brought into the ring. Then he takes a chair that Ariel slides in and sets it up at the table. He sits down, pulls out a deck of cards from one of the table’s drawers, and starts playing Solitaire, occasionally glancing up at the rafters. After a few hands, Johnny looks up and, seeing something, drags the table towards the ropes. The Hulk comes crashing down, smashing through the mat, and lodging himself in the ring. Though he can’t seem to move, the Hulk is still laughing.
Hulk: HULK WIN BET!!! HULK JUMP HIGHER THAN PUNY JOHNNY!!! HULK IS BEST THERE IS!!!
Monroe: It looks like the Hulk is stuck! The ref will have to call this match a draw!
Johnny walks over to Ariel, who hands him something small, black, and hinged. Then he walks back to the Hulk and leans against his huge shoulder. He unfolds the object and sets up its tiny “legs” – it’s clear by now that the object is a small Travel Poker game. He finished setting up the small table, and them slams it into the Hulk’s head, shattering the table. The bell rings and the ref quickly raises Johnny’s hand before running out of the ring and towards the back.
Monroe: I can't believe it! Johnny Evil actual put the Hulk through a table!
Marcum: Johnny Evil can do anything! That's why he's part of the Bastardo Family!
JE: Hulk may be strongest there is. Hulk may be best jumper there is. Hulk may even be best gambler there is. But…
Johnny goes nose-to-nose with the trapped Hulk.
JE: JOHNNY IS EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!
The Hulk struggles to get free as Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler” plays and both Johnny and Ariel nonchalantly walk out of the ring area.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Hardcore Porn Match: Wednesday vs. Nowhereman
"Bring the Pain" hits and Wednesday makes his way to the ring, armed with his trusty lead pipe. He enters the ring and raises the Hardcore Porn title for the fans. That's when "Creeping Death” by Metallica starts playing, and Nowhereman rides down the ramp on his bike. He circles the ring and parks the bike on the ramp. Nowhereman then enters the ring. The two wrestlers waste no time, as Wednesday attacks Nowhereman with his pipe. But Nowhereman blocks it with his arm, and a "clunk" is heard. A bat slips down his other arm into his hand, and swings at Wednesday, who blocks Nowhereman's arm. The two struggle with each other, with neither wrestler able to use his weapon to get a hit. Wednesday finally uses Nowhereman's size against him, and falls back into a roll, flipping Nowhereman over him and onto the mat. Wednesday then flips up, and tries to give a superkick to Nowhereman's face as he gets to his own feet, but Nowhereman manages to catch Wednesday's leg, and he whacks his knee with the bat. Nowhereman releases Wednesday, who falls to the mat. Nowhereman then steps on Wednesday's knee.
Monroe: This is looking very bad for the Hardcore Porn King!
Wednesday summons the strength to kick Nowhereman's knee with his other leg, and then quickly maneuvers himself to strike the knee with his pipe, causing Nowhereman to go down.
Marcum: Both wrestlers are crippled now! Hey, maybe they could team up with Crippled H to form the Crippled Club!
Wednesday slowly gets back to his feet, but Nowhereman is a little faster, and he hits Wednesday with the Fucking Cuntline. Nowhereman then gets ready to set up the Poof Smasher, but Charlie comes out of nowhere with a steel chair and hits Nowhereman in the head, sending him to the mat. Lothar stats yelling at Charlie, but he drops the chair, kicks Lothar in the stomach, and gives him Big Business.
Marcum: Charlie just fired the ref!
Monroe: Someone needs to teach him a lesson in manners!
Charlie picks up the chair and looks over to Wednesday, who is getting back to his feet.
Marcum: It's about to be lights out for Wednesday!
The crowd then erupts as TK runs down the ramp.
Monroe: Buhgawd! It's the Daddy Mack himself! TK has returned!
Charlie turns to face TK as he enters he ring, and Wednesday knocks the chair out of his hands. TK then grabs Charlie for the Orchepocalypse, right onto the steel chair. A number of referees finally race down the ramp, too late to stop the chaos and save the match, and "Everything Is Raw" blasts over the speakers as TK hands Wednesday the Hardcore Porn title and raises his arm in triumph.
Marcum: I can't believe my eyes! TK must have found the fountain of youth!
Monroe: I told you that wasn't TK! The Daddy Mack is Back!
“You Fucked Up My Car” Match: James Fantastic vs Balls Nasty
The Cheese-O-Tron came alive with a live feed from the Cheese Dome parking lot, where four soft-top convertibles were set up as a makeshift ring. Balls Nasty was the first competitor to arrive for the match. Seeing the camera, he stood on the trunk of one of the cars and started to berate James Fantastic, Grimm, Darth, the RDCW fans, and a few people that no one recognized. As a matter of fact, aside from the names, most of Balls Nasty’s tirade was bleeped out.
Monroe: There’s no need for that! This is an all-ages program! There are kids in the crowd!
Madman: I think I just heard him say your name!
Balls Nasty was so involved with badmouthing everyone he ever met that he didn’t notice James Fantastic running at him until it was too late and James bulldogged him through the first convertible. After getting a few punches in, James Fantastic jumped out of the car and started to taunt Balls Nasty. Balls crawled out of the wreckage and, in a blind rage, ran at James, who sidestepped him and pushed Balls Nasty into the side of another car. There was a dull THUD!!! as Balls Nasty’s head smacked against the car door and he slumped to the concrete, stunned.
Monroe: That’s the way you fight Balls Nasty! Let him do the work for you! James Fantastic has this match well in hand!
Madman: I’d hate to be near Balls Nasty when he wakes up!
James dragged Balls Nasty to the next car. But, as James was trying to lift his opponent onto the hood of the car, Balls Nasty came to. An illegal choke allowed Balls Nasty to gain the upper hand, which he used to bludgeon James Fantastic and use a Tavernsmasher to drive the young man through the second car. Balls Nasty pulled James’ body out of the car and carried him to the center of the “ring”, where he alternated between punching him and Irish whipping him into the sides of cars.
Monroe: C’mon! It’s obvious that James Fantastic can barely stand, much less compete! Put him through a soft-top and let this match be over!
Madman: Let Balls Nasty finish his work! James demanded this match, and now Balls is going to finish it at his leisure!
Finally Balls Nasty pulled James Fantastic onto the top of a large convertible’s hood and set him up for a Jackknife Power Bomb. But Balls nasty was distracted when both Grimm and Darth walked into the parking lot and stood, staring at Grimm’s Robblemania XXI opponent. Balls Nasty started yelling at Grimm, which gave James Fantastic the time to shake the cobwebs off and free himself from Balls Nasty’s grasp. James quickly grabbed Balls Nasty’s wrist and used a basic fireman’s carry to send him through the soft-top and win the match.
After the match, as James Fantastic celebrated his victory, Balls Nasty pulled himself out of the car and ran off to go after Grimm and Darth. But James’ celebration was short-lived because, from out of nowhere, Chris Oakley hit him with a WMD from the hood of a car. Chris used the element of surprise to give James a beat-down, then pulled him onto the final car and delivered a Red Alert through its soft-top roof.
Charlie vs Son of Mxy
In Charlie's final match before his bout with old foe Nowhereman at Robblemania, The Company man showed how dangerous he could be, despite losing the match. However it was an unusually clean match, with no genuine interference from The Company.
The match started at a furious speed, with both wrestlers exchanging a furious series of chops and kicks. Eventually Son of Mxy was able to score a Running Elbow Smash, but Charlie bounded up almost immediately and went for the Zeitgeist. He then went for the pin, but Mxy's leg was draped over the ropes and the ref broke the pin up.
The Third Generation Superstar then took charge of the match, hitting Charlie with a series of venomous moves before going for the Son of Mxyplex. However Charlie's manager Bill Williams leapt up onto the ring apron and distracted the ref long enough for Charlie to break out of the pin. A furious Mxy then went over to Bill and hit him with a Running Elbow Smash, knocking him onto the floor. However, this set up Son of Mxy for a clothesline by Charlie.
With Son of Mxy on the floor, Charlie went for a Kapitalizm. Mxy was able to get hold of the ropes to break the hold, but Charlie dragged him back into the middle of the ring and re-applied the hold. Mxy was able to break out of it again by kicking Charlie in the back of the knee, and hit a Mxyplex. Charlie was able to break out of the pin, but Mxy kept up the pressure, eventually kicking him into the turnbuckle and scoring a Son of Mxyplex to score the pin and win the match.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Tag Team Donkey Lovin’ Title Match: Captain Sammitch/PenWing vs. PJP/Rex
The challengers, PJP and Rex, make their way to the ring first. The crowd gives them a warm reception, clearly backing them in their feud against Balls Nasty. However, when "Let's Get It Started" starts playing over the speakers, the crowd erupts in cheer for the Tag Team Donkey Lovin’ Champions and their manager, Meeko.
Marcum: Look at this! They can't go anywhere without Meeko! What is she, their Mommy?
Monroe: There is nothing wrong with a manager accompanying her wrestlers to the ring.
Marcum: There is when she is known to interfere in their matches!
Monroe: You must be confusing Meeko with Rosalita!
Marcum: Now you're just disrespecting the Human Lovebomb!
In the ring, PenWing hands Meeko his Sherwood as she exits, and she walks over to the announce table.
Marcum: What the hell? What does she think she's doing?
Monroe: I think she wants to join us, Madman. Now stand up and pull out a chair for her.
Monroe stands up and hands a headset to Meeko as she places the Sherwood across the announce table and takes a seat.
Meeko: How are you today, boys?
Monroe: Doing fine, Meeko. Thank you for joining us.
Meeko: Well, I never actually sat at this table before, so I thought I would give it a try.
The bell rings and the match gets underway, with Sammitch starting against Rex. Sammitch keeps it technical, and gets several two counts on Rex with some quick roll ups. He then switches to various holds, and starts working over Rex's upper body.
Monroe: Captain Sammitch is looking on his game tonight. This is by far one of the better technical displays I've seen him put on.
Meeko: That's something he wanted to get back to. Lately all we've been doing is getting into brawls, mostly with members of the Bastardo Family. That hasn't given Sammitch much of a chance to work on his mat skills.
Marcum: I'll agree that he's going to need to hone those skills in order to have any chance at beating Joe Mama.
After getting another two-count, Sammitch pulls Rex to his corner and tags in PenWing. Sammitch then whips Rex into the ropes, and PenWing spears him to the mat, but Rex kicks out at two. PenWing starts to quicken the pace of the match, whipping Rex into the ropes to set up another Drag 'n Whip, but Rex hangs on, and PenWing hits the mat on the missed spear. Rex then drops an elbow onto the PenWing's back. Slowly, Rex gets back to his feet. He helps PenWing back up, and delivers a chop to his chest, sending him towards PJP in the corner. Rex follows up with another chop, and tags in his partner.
Marcum: The momentum of the match has completely shifted! Now PJP and Rex have PenWing trapped in their corner!
Meeko: There's no question that PenWing clearly has a disadvantage in size here, but he's very resourceful.
With that comment, Rex lifts PenWing up for the T-Rex (Jack Hammer), but PenWing quickly shifts his weight and somehow pulls himself and Rex back to the mat.
Monroe: Unbelievable! How did he break out of the finisher?
Rex gets back to his feet first, but PenWing is already on his knees. Rex grabs PenWing's arm, but PenWing uses Rex help him stand up then whips him into the ropes. Rex slingshots back to PenWing, who connects with the Spin-o-Rama and both wrestlers fall to the mat.
Monroe: PenWing just saved himself with a Super Drag 'n’ Whip!
Marcum: Both wrestlers need to tag!
PenWing starts moving first, and he tags in Sammitch, who grabs Rex's legs and pulls him just out of PJP's reach. He then locks in the Sammitch Submission. PJP tries to enter the ring, but Lothar stops him as Rex taps.
Monroe: That's wrong! Rex is tapping! The match should be over!
Marcum: No, you're wrong! PJP is trying to interfere with the legal men! Lothar is doing his job!
PenWing, having enough time to collect himself, steps off the ring apron and walks around to PJP's side. He then pulls PJP's legs out from under him. PenWing tries to lock in the Sharpshooter, but PJP kicks him away, and PenWing slams into the barrier. Sammitch breaks his hold on Rex and tries to leave the ring, but Lothar stops him. This gives Rex time to recover. Outside the ring, PJP tries to set PenWing up for the PJPDriver, but PenWing pulls Sudden Death. In the ring, Rex grabs Sammitch, lifts him up, and executes the T-Rex, but before he can get the pin, PenWing slips into the ring and gives him Sudden Death, too. PenWing then slips into his corner and starts banging on the turnbuckle. Lothar starts to count.
Marcum: PenWing just interfered! Rex should have gotten the pin!
Monroe: You're memory is very selective, Madman! Sammitch already had this match won with the Sammitch Submission!
Marcum: If the ref doesn't see the tap, than it never happened!
Meeko: And if the ref disqualifies Sammitch and PenWing, then Rex and PJP don't win the titles. Right now, things look pretty even to me.
PJP gets back to his corner, and both wrestlers start crawling for tags. Lothar is about to count to ten with Sammitch tags PenWing. PenWing enters the ring, and Rex tags PJP, who tries to decapitate PenWing with a running clothesline. PenWing ducks, runs into the ropes, sling shots off of them, and flies into PJP with a spear, taking him to the mat.
Monroe: One thing we have seen here is a clear contrast in wrestling styles between Sammitch and PenWing.
Meeko: I think it's why they are so successful as a tag team.
PenWing locks PJP into the Sharpshooter. PJP struggles to pull himself to the ropes, but PenWing somehow manages to keep him away. PJP then reaches towards PenWing's legs and somehow manages to break the hold and send PenWing to the mat. PenWing gets back to his feet, but PJP hits a DDT, and both wrestlers stay down on the mat.
Marcum: I can't beleive PenWing actually thought he could lock PJP into the Sharpshooter! That's going to cost him!
PJP starts moving first, and gets to his corner to tag Rex back in. PenWing gets up slowly, but he can't defend himself against Rex Quan Doe. PenWing manages to fall back into his corner, and Sammitch makes the blind tag. Rex tries to pull PenWing away, but Lothar makes the tag signal, and forces Rex to let go as Sammitch enters the ring.
Marcum: See that? PenWing needed Sammitch to bail him out! Has PenWing ever gotten a pin since they won the title?
Rex is fuming, and he runs at Sammitch. Sammitch begins to fall back on his own martial arts training, and uses Rex's size and speed against him, with various throws to the mat.
Meeko: Rex is playing right into Sammitch's hands.
Sammitch finally gets a hold of Rex, and starts to deliver a series of Sammitch Suplexes. The crowd rises to their feet as they count.
Crowd: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six!
Sammitch sees PJP enter the ring, and instead of going for the pin, he takes PJP down with a Sammitch Spin. He then leaps across the ring to tag PenWing, who climbs the ropes and hits the High Holy Howe on Rex for the pin. "Rock And Roll Part 2" starts playing as Lothar returns the belts to the Champions.
Meeko: Well boys, it's been fun! See you at Robblemania!
Fear And Loathing Tag Team Finals: SPAMM/Tommy Savitz vs King Snarf/Joe Mama
The RDJL’s entrance music plays as SPAMM and Tommy Savitz walk to the ring. There seems to be some tension on their faces as they enter the ring.
Monroe: They look worried…and I notice that Rosalita’s not around…could she have gotten hurt?
Madman: I think they just realized what they’ve gotten themselves into tonight! I’d be scared, too, if I were them!
“When It All Goes Wrong Again” plays. King Snarf and Joe Mama walk down the ramp and enter the ring. Barely giving their opponents a glance, they walk to the corners and hold up their titles as the crowd boos. They eventually hand the ref their belts and walk to their corner to figure out who will start the match. SPAMM and Tommy walk over and grab them by a shoulder to get their attention.
SPAMM: What have you two done with her?!?
Joe Mama: Done with whom?
Tommy: We know that you two did something to Rosalita! Where is she?!?
Joe Mama: We have no clue what you’re talking about, so you best get your hand off me before I forget the rules and…
King Snarf: Maybe she realized what losers you two are and decided to find a real man! Did you check my hotel room?
The bell rings and the Bastardos use the distraction to punch their opponents in their faces. King Snarf goes to work on SPAMM while Joe Mama throws Tommy Savitz out of the ring and follows him to continue the attack. King Snarf continues to alternate blows to SPAMM, using both punches and chops to press the advantage. He flings SPAMM into the ropes and uses his momentum to hit a textbook power slam, but SPAMM rolls away from the Wildsault attempt and counters with a Monkey Drop.
Outside the ring, Joe Mama and Tommy Savitz are brawling back and forth. Joe Mama gets the advantage and tries to use an East Coast Hammer, but Tommy kicks out of his grip and tries to use a German Suplex. But Joe Mama blocks it with a mule kick to the groin and throws Tommy headfirst into the ring steps. Then he grabs a handful of Tommy’s hair and continuously slams his head into the top step.
Inside the ring, SPAMM is pressing his advantage over King Snarf. After a series of martial arts moves, he hits a Spandex Superkick right on the point of King Snarf’s chin. King Snarf falls to the mat, dazed, as SPAMM climbs to the top rope.
Monroe: It looks like we’re about to see The Might Of The Monkey, Marcum!
Madman: This can’t happen! The Bastardo Family deserves to win this Tournament!!!
SPAMM is about to finish the move with his trademark cry when the Cheese-O-Tron comes to life. On-screen are Johnny Evil and Ariel.
JE: Hey…superhero! Get down from there!
SPAMM doesn’t move. King Snarf begins to stir.
JE: I’m serious, get down from there! I’ve got something that might interest you!
SPAMM gets off the top rope. Joe Mama drags a bleeding and unconscious Tommy Savitz into the ring.
JE: Now that I’ve got your attention, let me show you something!
He turns to Ariel, who holds up a single red, high-heeled, knee-high boot. The crowd gasps. SPAMM’s eyes widen behind his mask. King Snarf stands up and joins Joe Mama. Both have a pleasantly surprised look on their faces.
JE: I was practicing for our big match at Robblemania XXI…guess who my sparring partner was?
The camera pulls back and we see that Johnny is in the Bastardo Family’s locker room.
JE: Guess what else? I won. You can come get her, if you want. All you have to do…
Johnny knocks on a locker door marked “J. Mama”.
JE: …is find her!
Johnny and Ariel start laughing. SPAMM turns to King Snarf and Joe Mama, who both look surprised but happy. He looks at the unconscious body of Tommy, pauses for a moment, and them starts running backstage. Johnny is still laughing as SPAMM disappears into the back.
JE: Well of COURSE I don’t have her in your locker, Joe! That’d be too easy for him! I gotta go…bring that tournament trophy to the Bastardo Family, gentlemen! I’ll see you at the party! Oh, and King Snarf? I left you a little present in your hotel room. Not a superhero’s sidekick, but definitely someone who could be saved by the bell!!!
The Cheese-O-Tron goes out.
Monroe: This is disgusting! The Bastardo Family has cheated to win this tournament!
Madman: Look at their faces! King Snarf and Joe Mama had no idea this was going to happen!
KS: A very pleasant…
JM: …but not completely unpredictable…
Both: SURPRISE!
King Snarf takes a few steps away from Joe Mama, who pulls Tommy to his feet by the back of his neck and trunks. Then Joe Mama throws Tommy to King Snarf who uses a half-bulldog to lock up the headlock. As King Snarf works his finisher, Joe Mama lifts up Tommy’s legs and locks in a Joe Mama-Lock. The ref checks Tommy, and then calls for the bell. As “Faded” starts, the ref raises both King Snarf’s and Joe Mama’s arm in victory. The entire Bastardo Family comes out to celebrate. Sneaky Bunny rushes over to hug Joe Mama, and then gives King Snarf a hug. The pair lifts her up and put her on their shoulders as Louie Bastardo claps them on their free shoulders. The Legbreakers dispose of the fallen Tommy Savitz and then congratulate their teammates. Joe Mama tells them, “We got the trophy, but you’re getting the titles!” As the Family continue their celebration, Havoc fades out.
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