*As we come back from commercial, Lying From You playing and Johnny Evil is standing in the ring with Ariel. There is a stand in between them with some signs set up on it.*

JE: I know there is lot of speculation about the ways there will be to win the Chicago style match at Robblemania, and I will get to that. First, I'd like to address the members of RDJL. As long as you're on Spandex Monkey Man's side, you're a target. You're a medium for me to use to send messages. I've already done so with Bibbo, and tonight I'll do it again when I send the Hulk through a poker table. Now, I realize some of the words I've used are a little big for the Hulk's comprehension, so allow me to put it in terms he can understand:

*JE clears his throat and takes a deep breath.*

JOHNNY EVIL SMASH PUNY HULK!!

*Ariel laughs and the crowd boos.*

Now, on to Robblemania. On the signs behind me, I have all the different ways there will be to win the Chicago Style Match. To the best of my knowledge, none of these methods of victory have ever been used in a wrestling match. My lovely assistant, Ariel, will display the appropriate sign with a pointing ability that Vanna White and Barker's beauties can only dream about. Victory method number one is Performing one of your opponent's finishing moves on any wrestler who is not involved in the match. Next, trapping your opponent in a yellow car that is not a Taxi. For the purposes of the match, a light truck or SUV will count as a car. Semis or other large trucks, however, will not. Next, is getting Michio Kaku to sigh a copy of one of Stephen Hawking's books. That way, the show will count as educational. Particularly appropriate for the match, you can win by getting your picture taken next to a man in a hot dog suit. Conversely, you can win by taking your opponent's picture with fitness guru Richard Simmons.

Monroe: GOOD GOB! NOT RICHARD SIMMONS!

Marcum: Hey, our mics are on!

JE: You can also win by stealing your opponent's female assistant's left shoe. Sandals will count as shoes in this instance. Next is forcing your opponent to say Notwedge is cool backwards three times. Another way of winning is to lock your opponent inside Joe Mama's locker. Also, you can win by getting ANY cubs fan in the building to admit that the Cubs probably won't win the World Series this year. I know, that's basically impossible, but no one said this would be easy, just gimmicky. Now, you've already agreed to the match so there's nothing you can say about the methods of victory I've chosen. So, I guess that's it.

Ariel: Johnny, you forgot. You said I could pick one too.

JE: Oh, yeah. What did you pick?

*Ariel shows the last sign and it says "Say 'I've never wrestled under the name Spandex Monkey Man' without lying.*

JE: Well, I'm not going to argue with that one.

*Ariel and JE laugh as JE's music starts up.*

Monroe: That's totally unfair!

Marcum: Not unfair, just plain evil!