RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 3-22-05

“Faded” plays over the speakers as Joe Mama walks to the ring. Sneaky Bunny, King Snarf, and the rest of the Bastardo Family are conspicuous by their absence. Joe Mama grabs a microphone, barely looking at Monroe or Marcum, and enters the ring.

JM: I’m out here to respond to Captain Sammitch’s laughably biased revisionist history. For those of you out there who have trouble understanding words that have more than two syllables, that means that Sammitch tends to make things up as they suit him. The reason I’m out here solo is because, when the rest of the Family, specifically King Snarf and Sneaky Bunny, heard the ramblings that Sam-bitch and his boy-servant, Penny, passed off as the truth, it was all any of us could do to keep those two under control. And, at Robblemania, the Family doesn’t want either Meeko or PenWing using an attack tonight as the excuse for why they failed to win their matches.

First of all, Meeko, you’re awfully cocky for someone who hasn’t defended her title in over a month, which, by rights, should have forced the Championship Committee to strip you of your title. Maybe it was the lingering concussion talking, I don’t know. Be that as it may, Sneaky Bunny doesn’t need me to speak for her. I think, at No Way Out Of The Closet, she did all the speaking she needed. But the fact is, when she mentioned competing for the Women’s Boobie Belt to her “friends” PenWing and Captain Sammitch, they found every reason to put her off and keep her out of contention. Isn’t it interesting, then, when I CHOOSE to speak on her behalf, I have their undivided attention? The truth of the matter is that you’ve been protected for far too long by your boyfriend and slave. At Robblemania, you WILL be forced to show just what kind of Champion you are when you face the one competitor that you’ve spent your entire reign avoiding. And you WILL be found wanting!

PenWing, all jokes about your hockey fetish aside, I don’t want to spend much time talking about you. Everyone in the RDCW knows about the…untenable situation you find your career in. There isn’t a wrestler in the back, a fan in the stands, or a suit behind the scenes that doesn’t know you’re just making the best of a bad situation. You’re Meeko’s property, so you do what you can to make it appear as your choice. But the Family knows better and, at Robblemania, King Snarf has promised to put you out of the misery you cover up so well.

As for you, Sammitch…I don’t think you truly understand what you’ve gotten yourself into. You see, I never liked you. Our “alliance” was built on mutual need, not respect. Frankly, you sicken me. You are a sad, delusional little man. You babble about “Bastardo Family interference”, but we’ve never interfered in any of your matches. You complain about “Bastardo Family celebration” – I guess your “professional” jealousy truly is toxic. Otherwise, why would you complain about anyone – besides you – enjoying the fruits of their labors? You “tolerate” us? Little man, you don’t have a choice in the matter! The Bastardo Family has proven itself to be one of the most dominant forces in the RDCW, whether you like it or not! We are in the business of winning titles and, so far, we’re a perfect two for two! And what’s this crap about “It's only personal if you make it personal”? Are you finally admitting that you’ve decided to make things personal? Because there wasn’t a single thing about your title demand that anyone would call “professional”! Face facts, Sammitch...you know that the Family’s Legbreakers are gunning for your Tag Team Donkey Lovin’ titles, and it scares the Hell outta you. So, because we’re handling our business as “business”, you’ve created a personal feud in a desperate attempt to psyche yourselves up and try to avoid your inevitable downfall! Hey, whatever works for you, boyo! But last week should’ve shown you that the only thing on the Bastardo Family members’ minds are the gold you wear and the attempts you’re making to steal ours. Last week, King Snarf and I ousted you from the Fear And Loathing Tag Team Tournament. Next week, at Robblemania, we’re finishing what we’ve started. You and your boy are going down! And, this time, Sammitch, you won’t have Nowhereman or anyone else to come in and save you when I lock you up in the Joe Mama-Lock! No one’s coming to your aid when I drive that thick skull of yours to the mat with my East Coast Hammer! And no one can help you when I…well, you’re not the only one with a few surprises up your sleeve. So play up to the fans, Sammitch, and try to forget that, at Robblemania XXI, you’ll have no friends, no family, no one to save you when you face the inevitability that is Joe Mama!

And, as for the Fear And Loathing Tag Team Finals, I only have one thing to say. Spandex Monkey Man…Tommy Savitz…last week, the Bastardo Family dispatched two people who’ve been running their mouths about the Family. This week, we face another pair who shot their mouths off one too many times. We hope you took notes and did your homework on us. Because, last week, we tasted the blood in the water; this week is the feeding frenzy! Tonight, we’re taking you two out!!!

Joe Mama drops the mic as “Faded” starts again. He steps out of the ring and walks up the ramp to the back. The crowd is booing, but he doesn’t acknowledge them

Madman: It looks like the Bastardo Family is as focused as ever! I’d hate to be in Spandex Monkey Man’s or Tommy Savitz’ shoes!

Monroe: I have to agree that this has been the most focused and aggressive that Joe Mama, or any member of the Bastardo Family, has been!