Hardcore Porn Match: Wednesday vs. Nowhereman
"Bring the Pain" hits and Wednesday makes his way to the ring, armed with his trusty lead pipe. He enters the ring and raises the Hardcore Porn title for the fans. That's when "Creeping Death” by Metallica starts playing, and Nowhereman rides down the ramp on his bike. He circles the ring and parks the bike on the ramp. Nowhereman then enters the ring. The two wrestlers waste no time, as Wednesday attacks Nowhereman with his pipe. But Nowhereman blocks it with his arm, and a "clunk" is heard. A bat slips down his other arm into his hand, and swings at Wednesday, who blocks Nowhereman's arm. The two struggle with each other, with neither wrestler able to use his weapon to get a hit. Wednesday finally uses Nowhereman's size against him, and falls back into a roll, flipping Nowhereman over him and onto the mat. Wednesday then flips up, and tries to give a superkick to Nowhereman's face as he gets to his own feet, but Nowhereman manages to catch Wednesday's leg, and he whacks his knee with the bat. Nowhereman releases Wednesday, who falls to the mat. Nowhereman then steps on Wednesday's knee.
Monroe: This is looking very bad for the Hardcore Porn King!
Wednesday summons the strength to kick Nowhereman's knee with his other leg, and then quickly maneuvers himself to strike the knee with his pipe, causing Nowhereman to go down.
Marcum: Both wrestlers are crippled now! Hey, maybe they could team up with Crippled H to form the Crippled Club!
Wednesday slowly gets back to his feet, but Nowhereman is a little faster, and he hits Wednesday with the Fucking Cuntline. Nowhereman then gets ready to set up the Poof Smasher, but Charlie comes out of nowhere with a steel chair and hits Nowhereman in the head, sending him to the mat. Lothar stats yelling at Charlie, but he drops the chair, kicks Lothar in the stomach, and gives him Big Business.
Marcum: Charlie just fired the ref!
Monroe: Someone needs to teach him a lesson in manners!
Charlie picks up the chair and looks over to Wednesday, who is getting back to his feet.
Marcum: It's about to be lights out for Wednesday!
The crowd then erupts as TK runs down the ramp.
Monroe: Buhgawd! It's the Daddy Mack himself! TK has returned!
Charlie turns to face TK as he enters he ring, and Wednesday knocks the chair out of his hands. TK then grabs Charlie for the Orchepocalypse, right onto the steel chair. A number of referees finally race down the ramp, too late to stop the chaos and save the match, and "Everything Is Raw" blasts over the speakers as TK hands Wednesday the Hardcore Porn title and raises his arm in triumph.
Marcum: I can't believe my eyes! TK must have found the fountain of youth!
Monroe: I told you that wasn't TK! The Daddy Mack is Back!
“You Fucked Up My Car” Match: James Fantastic vs Balls Nasty
The Cheese-O-Tron came alive with a live feed from the Cheese Dome parking lot, where four soft-top convertibles were set up as a makeshift ring. Balls Nasty was the first competitor to arrive for the match. Seeing the camera, he stood on the trunk of one of the cars and started to berate James Fantastic, Grimm, Darth, the RDCW fans, and a few people that no one recognized. As a matter of fact, aside from the names, most of Balls Nasty’s tirade was bleeped out.
Monroe: There’s no need for that! This is an all-ages program! There are kids in the crowd!
Madman: I think I just heard him say your name!
Balls Nasty was so involved with badmouthing everyone he ever met that he didn’t notice James Fantastic running at him until it was too late and James bulldogged him through the first convertible. After getting a few punches in, James Fantastic jumped out of the car and started to taunt Balls Nasty. Balls crawled out of the wreckage and, in a blind rage, ran at James, who sidestepped him and pushed Balls Nasty into the side of another car. There was a dull THUD!!! as Balls Nasty’s head smacked against the car door and he slumped to the concrete, stunned.
Monroe: That’s the way you fight Balls Nasty! Let him do the work for you! James Fantastic has this match well in hand!
Madman: I’d hate to be near Balls Nasty when he wakes up!
James dragged Balls Nasty to the next car. But, as James was trying to lift his opponent onto the hood of the car, Balls Nasty came to. An illegal choke allowed Balls Nasty to gain the upper hand, which he used to bludgeon James Fantastic and use a Tavernsmasher to drive the young man through the second car. Balls Nasty pulled James’ body out of the car and carried him to the center of the “ring”, where he alternated between punching him and Irish whipping him into the sides of cars.
Monroe: C’mon! It’s obvious that James Fantastic can barely stand, much less compete! Put him through a soft-top and let this match be over!
Madman: Let Balls Nasty finish his work! James demanded this match, and now Balls is going to finish it at his leisure!
Finally Balls Nasty pulled James Fantastic onto the top of a large convertible’s hood and set him up for a Jackknife Power Bomb. But Balls nasty was distracted when both Grimm and Darth walked into the parking lot and stood, staring at Grimm’s Robblemania XXI opponent. Balls Nasty started yelling at Grimm, which gave James Fantastic the time to shake the cobwebs off and free himself from Balls Nasty’s grasp. James quickly grabbed Balls Nasty’s wrist and used a basic fireman’s carry to send him through the soft-top and win the match.
After the match, as James Fantastic celebrated his victory, Balls Nasty pulled himself out of the car and ran off to go after Grimm and Darth. But James’ celebration was short-lived because, from out of nowhere, Chris Oakley hit him with a WMD from the hood of a car. Chris used the element of surprise to give James a beat-down, then pulled him onto the final car and delivered a Red Alert through its soft-top roof.
Charlie vs Son of Mxy
In Charlie's final match before his bout with old foe Nowhereman at Robblemania, The Company man showed how dangerous he could be, despite losing the match. However it was an unusually clean match, with no genuine interference from The Company.
The match started at a furious speed, with both wrestlers exchanging a furious series of chops and kicks. Eventually Son of Mxy was able to score a Running Elbow Smash, but Charlie bounded up almost immediately and went for the Zeitgeist. He then went for the pin, but Mxy's leg was draped over the ropes and the ref broke the pin up.
The Third Generation Superstar then took charge of the match, hitting Charlie with a series of venomous moves before going for the Son of Mxyplex. However Charlie's manager Bill Williams leapt up onto the ring apron and distracted the ref long enough for Charlie to break out of the pin. A furious Mxy then went over to Bill and hit him with a Running Elbow Smash, knocking him onto the floor. However, this set up Son of Mxy for a clothesline by Charlie.
With Son of Mxy on the floor, Charlie went for a Kapitalizm. Mxy was able to get hold of the ropes to break the hold, but Charlie dragged him back into the middle of the ring and re-applied the hold. Mxy was able to break out of it again by kicking Charlie in the back of the knee, and hit a Mxyplex. Charlie was able to break out of the pin, but Mxy kept up the pressure, eventually kicking him into the turnbuckle and scoring a Son of Mxyplex to score the pin and win the match.
