Tag Team Match: The Legbreakers vs Punch/Counterpunch

The first of two matches between the RDJL and the Bastardo Family was an exercise in double-teams and brawling. Bibbo and I-Man were tough competitors, scoring several near-falls. But the Legbreakers’ new-found focus, coupled with Louie Bastardo and Grace handling strategy from ringside, was the difference in this match. Winged Creature used his Wings Of Fury (moonsault-into-a-747) on Bibbo to set up Stupid Doog’s Big Bark (top rope flying headbutt). The pair Took Out The Trash for good measure and scored the win.


Women’s Boobie Belt Title Match: Meeko vs Sneaky Bunny

Mind Candy’s “Fortune Teller” played as Sneaky Bunny walked alone to the ring. She entered and mocked the crowd with a big smile on her face, motioning a “title belt”across her waist. Then she curtsied to the crowd and the ref and waited for her opponent to arrive. Then “Strike It Up” started and Meeko walked out from the back. As she made her way to the ring, her stride and the look on her face showed a woman with a purpose.

Monroe: It looks like Meeko’s got payback on her mind! I’d hate to be Sneaky Bunny right now!

Madman: I’d love to be the meat in that Hottie Sandwich! All Meeko’s proven is that Sneaky Bunny is in her head!

Meeko walked up to a still-grinning Sneaky Bunny and started to shout at her, culminating in a slap to Sneaky Bunny’s face. Though the red mark was immediately visible, it did nothing to wipe the smile off Sneaky Bunny’s face. Instead, as the bell rang, Sneaky Bunny broke her grin long enough to spit in Meeko’s face. The momentary distraction was all she needed, as Sneaky Bunny immediately went to work, driving her fist into the side of Meeko’s head where she had hit the turnbuckle weeks ago.

Madman: See? Sneaky Bunny’s got a great strategy – work on Meeko’s weaknesses and save the high-flying moves until she has the advantage firmly in her favor. She was trained well by the Bastardo Family!

Monroe: These are just more cheap shots by a Bastardo!

Sneaky Bunny managed to suplex Meeko twice before Irish whipping her into the ropes. But, as Sneaky Bunny jumped up to deliver either a Huracanrana or a drop kick, Meeko grabbed onto the ropes and Sneaky Bunny’s move worked against her, sending her hard to the mat. Meeko took this opportunity to kick her opponent, driving her foot into Sneaky Bunny’s side. Meeko picked her up and delivered three German Meeko-plexes to Sneaky Bunny. Then she went for a pin, but Sneaky Bunny kicked out at the two count. As Meeko bent forward to pick up Sneaky Bunny again, she was caught off-guard as Sneaky Bunny locked in a Fireman’s Carry and delivered an East Coast Hammer from her knees, stunning the Women’s Champion.

Madman: Amazing! Sneaky Bunny is improving moves to regain the advantage! I wonder if Joe Mama is taking notes in the back! That was a great variation of his finisher!

Monroe: I’ll bet he’s just so proud!

Sneaky Bunny used the moments to lock in a Figure Four Leg-Lock on Meeko, but the Champion was able to get to the ropes, forcing the ref to break up the hold. But Sneaky Bunny was relentless and dragged Meeko away from the ropes to lock in a Boston Crab. As Meeko screamed in pain and worked her way to the ropes again…

Sneaky Bunny: Scream, you bitch! Why don’t you scream for Sammitch and PenWing to save you?!? You’ve had this coming for months!!!

Meeko finally made it to the ropes and Sneaky Bunny once again broke the hold. As Sneaky Bunny picked up Meeko, perhaps to use a Bunny Flop, Meeko started punching her in the ribs. This time it was Sneaky Bunny who was whipped into the ropes, but history repeated itself as Sneaky Bunny locked onto the ropes and moved to a ring corner as Meeko’s attempt at a Meeko-Canrana sent her to the mat. Sneaky Bunny hopped up onto the top turnbuckle and hit a Taxidermy on her fallen foe, which gave her the pin and the Women’s Boobie Belt. As “Fortune Teller started up again, Sneaky Bunny went from ring corner to ring corner, holding up her newly won title belt. Finally she left the ring and headed back to the Bastardo locker room.

Madman: So far, the Bastardo Family is a perfect three-for-three in their matches! Every one of them was won cleanly, and now Sneaky Bunny is bringing the Women’s Boobie Belt to them!

Monroe: There’s still the Inter-Cunt-Inental title and the Heavyweight Cheese Title left to be defended, and I think both Captain Sammitch and PenWing are favorites in those matches.

Madman: Meeko’s already shown that she can’t win without someone to help her. Why should those two be any different?


Eurotrash Title Match: Nowhereman vs Charlie

Nowhereman came down to the ring on his motorbike, cheered by the fans. However the cheers turned to boos when Howler and The Highwayman attacked him. The pair pummeled him for several minutes before Highwayman hit him with a Corporate Sponsor. However, Nowhereman came back from this with a vengeance, hitting the pair with a double Fucking Cuntline before climbing into the ring to face Charlie, who had arrived during his teammates' attack on the Eurotrash Champion.

Charlie started the match proper by slamming Nowhereman with a series of hard chops and kicks, before hitting him with a Zeitgeist. Nowhereman weathered the assault, however, and came back with a Cunt-Fu Kick before climbing to the top rope and hitting a flip off. However, his subsequent pin attempt failed as Charlie kicked out on one.

Marcum: Charlie's doing great! He's taken everything Nowhereman's thrown at him!

Monroe: Don't forget The Company’s attack on Nowhereman before the match! I think that might also be a factor!

Charlie's toughness would continue to serve him well throughout the match, as Nowhereman dominated, attacking Charlie from a number of different angles and keeping the comparative novice on his toes. However, Howler entered the ring and hit Nowhereman with The Lockdown whilst Bill Williams distracted the ref. He then hauled Nowhereman to his feet and subjected him to a punishing Downsizing.

Marcum: The champ's been Downsized!

Charlie then climbed the turnbuckle and hit Nowhereman with a Flip Off of his own. However, Nowhereman kicked out on one, and proceeded to hit both Howler and Charlie with a Fuck Off, taking control of the match. He went for a pin, but Charlie's arm was draped over the ropes and the ref broke the pin up. Charlie struggled to his feet and hit Nowhereman with a Big Business, before following up with Kapitalizm. This did not last, however, as Nowhereman grabbed the rope to break the hold, and then hit Charlie with a Poof Smasher before going for the pin. It looked like the match was over for Charlie, but Highwayman entered the ring to break the pin up, as Howler entered the ring from the other side to distract the ref.

Nowhereman then completely flipped out, grabbing Highwayman and performing multiple Poof Smashers and Fuck Off's before grabbing his ebony baseball bat and attack Highwayman with it. However, in his rage he forgot about Charlie, who hauled himself to his feet and hit Nowhereman with a low blow. However, Charlie was too exhausted to follow up, and made the mistake of pausing in his assault to regain some of his strength.

It was not long before Nowhereman got back to his feet and hit Charlie with a Fucking Cuntline, before once again ascending to the top rope to hit a Flip Off and pin. This time, Charlie failed to kick out, allowing Nowhereman to claim a punishing victory.