RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 04/05/05

As we come back from commercial, Ennio Morricone's "The Ecstasy Of Gold" is playing and the entire Bastardo Family is walking to the ring. Louie and Grace are taking the lead, followed by El Superbeasto (Fear And Loathing Trophy in his hands), The Legbreakers, Johnny Evil, Sneaky Bunny, Joe Mama, and King Snarf. Louie and Grace enter the ring, followed by El Superbeasto (who steps over ropes without losing his grip on the trophy). As Grace steps out to grab a microphone, the procession pauses at ringside. The Legbreakers hold the ropes open as Johnny Evil motions to Sneaky Bunny "ladies first". Joe Mama and King Snarf lift her onto the ring apron and she enters the ring. Johnny Evil is the next one to go in. Then Joe Mama and King Snarf hold the ropes open for the Legbreakers, who enter the ring. For a few moments, Joe Mama and King Snarf argue over who should enter next ("You." "No, after you."), but that's settled as Joe Mama steps through the ropes, then holds them open for King Snarf to go through.

Madman: You see that? Everyone understands their role and works towards team unity. You won't see that kind of professionalism in other groups, will you, Monroe? Certainly not in SD-6!

Monroe: Let's just get this over with!

LB: I hate to say "I told you so", but I TOLD YOU SO!!! Six matches featuring the Bastardo Family, six victories...a clean sweep! We set out to retain our titles, and we did just that! We set out to win the Women's Boobie Belt, and we succeeded! Is there any doubt now that we are the superior group in the RDCW? Better than Bond's Botch-jobs! Better than Williams' Bankruptcy! And certainly better than Meeko's weak attempt to duplicate what the Family already is! With my brains and money, Grace's scouting and strategy, and these wrestlers' God-given talents, there's nothing we can't do! No belt we can't win!

The crowd boos as Louie gives King Snarf the mic.

KS: I just wanna give a shout-out to my Snarf-a-holics and say WOOOOOOOOOO!!! Penwing and Son of Mxy, I look forward to your big resignation speeches, especially after PenWing's big on-air meltdown! What can I say? You faced off against the "Legend-Retirer", the greatest Heavyweight Champion in RDCW history and, even with every friend you could muster, you lost! I can sympathize with the frustration...maybe someday you'll un-retire and I can face you again! WOOOOOOOO!!!

Monroe: They're making a mockery of their Robblemania matches! King Snarf got himself disqualified to win!

Madman: The fact is, King Snarf won his match, even with what used to be SD-6 sticking their noses where they didn't belong!

King Snarf offers the mic to El Superbeadto, who politely declines, as do the Legbreakers. Johnny Evil takes the microphone.

JE: Always a Best Man, never a Bride, eh SPAMM? The fallen hero, who was decimated in a match that the RDCW couldn't even show for fear of making their viewers ill - and now you set up a "Shotgun Wedding" for your "good friend" Tommy and his new ball an' chain Rosaliterri! That must be great for team unity - two people in a marriage of desperation and you having to swallow a lot of pride. Well, SPAMM, if you think I've finished with you and that group of hershey-squirts you call a "faction", you couldn't be more wrong! The lessons WILL continue!

Johnny offers the mic to Sneaky Bunny, who takes it, curtsies, and ruffles Johnny Evil's hair. The Family, with spirits already high, laugh at the action.

SB: I asked for my title shot from Meeko, and she refused me at every turn! I demanded my title shot, but was waved off by her boyfriends! If I knew back then that all I had to do to get my title shot was bounce her thick skull off a turnbuckle, I would've done it months ago! You had your chance to beat me fair an' square an' show what kind of great Champion you are, and you failed! I'm the Women's Champion, Meeko, and I didn't need any man to make it happen! But look on the bright side, Meeko: SD-6 is a great name for a boy-band! I see platinum records in your future! Just don't let them wrestle...they're not very good at that! Especially now that the honeymoon is over...one question though: is PenWing Justin or Nick?

The Family busts out laughing at Sneaky Bunny's remarks. Joe Mama, laughing and wiping tears from his eyes, takes the microphone, which Sneaky Bunny is handing him.

JM: For months, people like PenWing, Sammitch, and Jimmy Flubbedit have been whining about the Bastardo Family celebrations to the point where they tried to have one tonight (and didn't THAT go over like a lead balloon!). They bitched and moaned and complained about the "arrogance" of the Bastardo Family! And they accused us of bragging about our accomplishments! Well, boys, I've only got one thing to say to the group of you: IT AIN'T BRAGGING IF YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Captain Sammitch, you and Meeko had the best shot at us that you were ever going to have! I set up the matches so that all you had to worry about is your opponent! No looking over your shoulder, and no attempts to plan any sneak attacks! Just a one-on-one match to show who was the better wrestler! And YOU BOTH lost! Fair and square, each in the center of the ring! Now Meeko can downplay it by saying that you were "underdogs", which only means that she never deserved her title and you never deserved a title shot! And you can use words like "obsession" when what you mean to say is "laser-like focus". But that doesn't change the fact that you and your "friends" are nothing but over-rated losers who have been handed their opportunities instead of working for them! As a matter of fact, I'm a little hurt that you choose to mock my naming some new moves after you at Robblemania - I'd think you'd be flattered that I'd make my victory special for you! The stand-off for the fans, letting you re-enter the ring, ultimately beating you with a Brain Buster that I'd temporarily named after you...I thought you'd show a little gratitude!

The Family is laughing at the fans who are chanting Captain Sammitch's name.

JM: Now it looks like SD-6 is finished before it ever started! PenWing pulled a Carrie at the prom, and chose to align himself with the cast-offs and rejects of the Bastardo Family. So much for friendship, loyalty, trust, and meetings in the ol' treehouse, eh Sammitch? Well, the Family would pity you, or at least have a great laugh, but WE DON'T CARE! Our BUSINESS is titles! We succeed like we do because we have a singular goal that we work towards! We don't make the BUSINESS of winning into something personal - we just win! Maybe you should learn something from us as you sit in your clubhouse with your friends, losing games of Spin-The-Bottle and wondering why you will always live in the Bastardo Family's shadow! Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got matches to prepare for and more celebrating to do!

"The Ecstasy Of Gold" plays as, one-by-one, the Bastardo Family members leave the ring and walk to the back. The crowd boos at them, but they're not paying them any attention.

Madman: That was great! That was just great! Words of wisdom from the greatest faction the RDCW has ever seen! You could learn a lot from them, y'know!

Monroe: I just wonder who'll stand against them now that SD-6 seems to be finished. Perhaps the RDJL will fill in the power void!

Madman: RDJL??? You mean SPAMM and his crew???