Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Division: Playboys vs. Nowherman/Captain Howdy
The night opened with what may have been one of the most brutal matches in tag team Donkey Lovin' history! It all started with Wednesday and TK arguing over who should start the match. The Daddy Mack wanted to lay to rest all claims that he was washed up, but Wednesday declaired that being the Hardcore Porn Champion, he should be the one to start. Fortunately, the Divas were able to calm both wrestlers down, and after Stareena whispered something into Teek's ear, he backed into the corner. Captain Howdy motioned for Nowhereman to start the match, and the Hardcore Porn and Eurotrash champs quickly went to work on each other. Wednesday quickly found himself in trouble early, as the Cunt-Fu master worked him into the corner. Nowhereman and Captain Howdy then took turns tagging in and out while they continued to weaken the Hardcore Porn King. Butterrican tried to interfere, but TK held her back.
Monroe: What is TK doing?
Marcum: Can't you see that he doesn't want the Divas to get hurt before their title defense?
After Wednesday could no longer stand under his own power, TK signaled to Stareena, who climbed the ring apron and begain climbing the ropes. The ref quickly ran over to her and ordered her off. TK then removed the Lipstick Lesbian title from Butterrican's waist and entered the ring. He ran straight to the corner and nailed Captain Howdy with the title. He then dropped it on the mat and gave Nowhereman the Orchepocalypse. Kicking the belt out of the ring, TK pulled Wednesday over Nowhereman and rolled out of the ring, returning to his corner. Stareena then backed away from the ref, who turned to see the pin and began to count, but Nowhereman kicked out at two. Wednesday began to get to his feet, and pulled Nowhereman up. Nowhereman then Irish whipped Wednesday into the ropes, but Wednesday held on. He then lept to his corner to tag in TK, who went to work on Nowhereman. The Daddy Mack punished Nowhereman with a series of fast paced technical moves. He then hit the Kansas City Flap-Jack, but Captain Howdy broke the pin. Pissed at TK for knocking him over with the belt, Captain Howdy got hardcore on his ass with a steel chair, and the ref called for the bell. Wednesday grabbed Stareena's belt, and ran at Howdy, but Nowhereman tripped him up and put him in the Crippler Cuntface. Captain Howdy motioned for Nowhereman to bring Wednesday to his feet, and he handed Wednesday the chair. After a moment, Wednesday realized what was in his hands, but it was too late as Howdy superkicked the chair into Wednsaday's face.
Monroe: Captain Howdy just told Wednesday he'd see him next Tuesday!
Marcum: With Rehash on Sunday, I doubt Wednesday will want to wait that long!
DCMB Championship: MisterJLA (Champ) vs. Pig Iron
Pig Iron fought hard, but in the end he was no match for the Final Justice of Mister JLA!
Hardcore Porn Division: Balls Nasty vs. Ghost Hog
The mysterious Ghost Hog gave Balls Nasty a run for his money, forcing him to use his most devistating move, the Camero Cut, through a table that Ghost Hog had set up inside the ring. After the win, PJP came out and hit the PJPDriver on Balls, right onto a steel chair that had been lying in the ring.
