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300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Footage of an interview with MisterJLA, set in his locker room at an undisclosed location. In the background, a beautiful gold belt can be seen, enclosed in a glass case.
JLA is seated on a bench. He appears to be mildly annoyed and bored.
JLA:For those of you who don't know me yet, (listen up, both of you) I am the Undefeated DCMB World Intercontinental Hardcore United States Television champion. (Points to
the display case) To get this prestigious title, I defeated moderators, junior members, and spammers alike. No one was safe from the fury of my finisher, Final Justice.
You wired me awake
And hit me with a hand of broken nails
*The Hulk rushes in, and knocks the ref to the mat, but it’s too late. JLA had his leg wound up, and he connects with the Final Justice
An unholy “THUD” can be heard around the arena when the move connects, and The Hulk falls to the canvas in a heap.
You tied my lead and pulled my chain
To watch my blood begin to boil
*As Grimm turned and prepared to apply the Grimmlock to Howler, Charlie hit the ring and hit the Tower of London on Darth! Before Grimm could respond Charlie nailed him
with a Tower of London as well!
Lothar ordered a disqualification as the Company entered the ring and tied up the Dark Lords in the ring ropes and proceeded to lay a beatdown on them!
But I’m gonna break
I’m gonna break my
I’m gonna break my rusty cage and run
*Captain Howdy dragged the Insane Liberal back to the ring and tossed him inside where Darth set him up as Grimm climbed the turnbuckles!
Monroe: "Oh my Gob! They just piledrived the Insane Liberal STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!!"
Grimm: “There will be. . .no mercy."
Too cold to start a fire
I’m burning diesel burning dinosaur bones
*As Lagarto stood over his fallen opponent with the referee signaling for Lagarto's disqualification, Lagarto began removing his mask. Pulling his mask off, Lagarto revealed
himself as. . .
Monroe: "Chris Oakley! It was Oakley all along!"
I’ll take the river down to still water
And ride a pack of dogs
*Chris Oakley leaves the Bond Brigade locker room to get some food. As he walks down the corridor he is suddenly hit from behind! Laying on the floor clutching the back of his
head,he glances up and sees a figure towering over him.....
NM:"You just got your first challenger Oakley!"
As Nowhereman walks off, the camera pans back to the left and upwards to reveal the massive El Superbeasto. Superbeasto grins and looks down at Oakley, still on the floor.
"Senor Oakley, I would like to accept your challenge as well!"
Superbeasto picks Oakley up off the floor and delivers the Chokeslam to Oblivion!
I’m gonna break
I’m gonna break my
I’m gonna break my rusty cage and run
*Then Joe Mama picked up Captain Sammitch and set up the standing suplex. But, instead of pulling him over to finish the suplex, Joe Mama drove him headfirst to the mat with a
devastating Brain Buster.
Hits like a phillips head
Into my brain
*As James Fantastic smashes his guitar on El Superbeasto, PenWing runs to the ropes. He jumps on top of them, and spring boards into the air, grabbing the giant luchadore's head
and bringing him down with Sudden Death.
It’s gonna be too dark
To sleep again
*Fantastic runs to the apron, jumps onto it, and leaps off to deliver The One and Only.
Cutting my teeth on bars
And rusty chains,
*PenWing, with his arms still locked around Snarf, gets them both back to their feet and delivers another Meeko-plex. The crowd errupts. PenWing delivers a third Meeko-plex.
I’m gonna break my
Rusty cage and run
*Captain Sammitch races down the ramp and the crowd cheers. Snarf turns around too late, and Sammitch hits him with a Staff Meeting.
When the forest burns
Along the road
*SD-6 makes it's way to the ring. Captain Sammitch and PenWing, wearing the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' titles around their waists, hold the ropes open for Meeko and Nuriko to
enter the ring. Two-Ton Tommy enters after them, and James Fantastic follows. Meeko is handed a mic.
Meeko: For the last few months, I have been working behind the scenes to build a new coalition based on friendship, loyalty, and trust.
Like god’s eyes
In my headlights
*PenWing throws down the mic and targets Captian Sammitch with Sudden Death. At the same time, Nuriko gives Meeko Sudden Death, and Two-Ton Tommy dishes out a Tommybomb to James Fantastic. PenWing drops his Tag Team Donkey Lovin' title on Sammitch, and the three exit the ring together as the shocked crowd crowd booes them
When the dogs are looking
For their bones
*On the Cheese-o-Tron, a camera follows Grace through the halls of the CheeseDome. She stops at a women's restroom with a sign the reads, "Out of Order." Grace opens the door
and heads for the last stall to find a bound and gagged Louie Bastardo tied to the toilet.
Marcum: It's Louie Bastardo!
Grace: The boys are already taking care of them! The Company will be out of business in just a few more minutes!
Louie: The COMPANY!? You think it was the Company that did this to me!? It was SD-6!
A look of shock comes over Grace and the Bastardo Family stops the beat down they have been giving to the Company. And look up at the Cheese-o-tron.
And it’s raining icepicks
On your steel shore
"Oh, it was terrible! I was in that toilet stall for hours! Hours! And you know what the worst part was?"
The Family leans in collectively listening to Louie's tale.
"That Fat Retard and his boyfriend kept sneaking into the other stalls to have sex! It was disgusting!"
I’m gonna break
I’m gonna break my
I’m gonna break my rusty cage and run
Meeko: Louie Bastardo! The family's reign of terror is over! As PenWing likes to say, Sudden Death starts now! WE are SD-6!
As the Rehash video ends, fireworks go off in the CheeseDome and we hear Mike Monroe welcome us "Fans, this is Rehash!" 
MisterJLA (Champ) (57%, 33 Votes)
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Urg (43%, 25 Votes)
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PJP (78%, 45 Votes)
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Balls Nasty (22%, 13 Votes)
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Wednesday (Champ) (52%, 30 Votes)
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Captain Howdy (48%, 28 Votes)
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Johnny Evil (Champ) (49%, 28 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (51%, 29 Votes)
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Nowhereman (Champ) (38%, 22 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (28%, 16 Votes)
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El Superbeasto (34%, 20 Votes)
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The Dark Lords (Grimm/Darth) (50%, 28 Votes)
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The Company (50%, 28 Votes)
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Sneaky Bunny (Champ) (68%, 39 Votes)
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Nuriko (32%, 18 Votes)
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Joe Mama (Champ) (50%, 30 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch (50%, 30 Votes)
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Legbreakererses (71%, 41 Votes)
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James Fantastic/Tommy (29%, 17 Votes)
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King Snarf (Champ) (41%, 24 Votes)
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PenWing (59%, 34 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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