DCMB Title: Champion MisterJLA vs URG

Madman Marcum is seen ready to approach JLA. Marcum is covering his johnson, as he is obviously afraid of saying the wrong thing, and getting hit with the Final Justice

MM: Uh...JLA, tonight you are facing URG, for the DCMB Title. What are your thoughts?

JLA: Funny you should ask. For the second time, I'm facing someone who struggles with the process of thinking. For my first title defense here, I fought the moronic Hulk. Now URG.

URG, I hope you am listening, because am tonight I am going to am kick your am ass am. Cretin.

MM: Do you think URG isn't smart enough to wrestle you?

JLA: Exactly. I'm the thinking man's champion. When the Hulk had me on the ropes, I outsmarted him to defend my title. Pig Iron gave me a good fight too, but my brilliance was the deciding factor. URG may be a tough caveman, but in a battle of wits with me, he's overmatched. Not to take anything away from me, but he'd be overmatched in a battle of wits with a can opener.

It takes more than caveman strength to be a champion...a real champion like myself. For close to five years, I was undefeated at the DCMB. I unified several championships to create the title you see today. A Cro-Magnon like URG could have never had the foresight to accomplish what I did, so he naturally can't take away my title.

MM: So you're predicting a win?

JLA: Of course. My opponent may land a few shots, but all I need is to land one: one Final Justice and I'm walking away with my belt, just as I always do.

I have to get going. My legions and legions of fans are waiting for me, and for some reason, I'm scheduled to take the ring first tonight. Where I come from, the champ is always introduced last, but in this Mickey Mouse league, URG has top billing over me. Do you know why that is?

MM: <Trying to hide a smirk> No, champ. I have no idea.

JLA: I guess that figures.

MisterJLA's music hits, which is really Rob's theme music, which is really a rip-off of Killer Instinct's theme music. JLA walks down to the ring, and using his great reflexes, ducks numerous thrown soda cups and other debris.

He hears something behind him, whirls around, and gets clocked in the head with a caveman club! It's URG, and he has bloodied the champ with a vicious shot to the skull with an overhead swing of his club!

Guest referee PJP separates the two, but the damage has been done! JLA is sprawled out in front of the ring, with blood flowing from his head!

PJP orders URG back to his dressing room. He then makes a special announcement: In light of the circumstances, the match will now be a no-DQ event! The title is still up for grabs, and the match must now start, according to RDCW rules!

URG storms the ring, with his club in hand! As JLA struggles to his feet, he gets hit in the stomach with the weapon! JLA is now doubled over, and URG drives the club into his back, sending JLA to the mat!

JLA grabs a hold of the ropes, and uses all of his strength to pull himself up. URG knows this is the moment that will decide the match. He backs up, and runs full speed at JLA. He raises the club over his head, and brings it down...

But JLA has caught it!



As URG tries desperately to regain control of the club, JLA lands the Final Justice!



URG crumples to the mat, and JLA falls to the side of the challenger, his right arm landing on top URG.

1...2...3

PJP raises JLA's arm, and JLA has survived another close match.

Post Match

MisterJLA wraps the DCMB Title around his waist, grabs a microphone, and hold three fingers in the air.

“3-0! 3-0! I’m undefeated in the RDCW!”

“I’ve learned a valuable lesson, too. I learned that it pays to have allies. Today I got jumped because no one is watching out for me.”

“Also, since I’m dominating the singles division, I’ve just decided it’s time to move on to another challenge.”

“I want to be a Tag Team Champion. I will still defend my DCMB Title, but only once a month. My new focus is tag team wrestling.”

“And for my partner, I chose the contemptible Captain Howdy!”


PJP vs Balls Nasty

Monroe: PJP dominated the match early as his thirst for revenge fueled his attack on Balls Nasty. With Rex cheering him on, PJP looked unstoppable. But, as he was ready to set up the PJPDriver, Bill Williams led the Company down the ramp. Outnumbered, Rex stood no chance against Howlerama outside of the ring, and they laid him out with a Hostile Takeover. Meanwhile, Charlie slid into the ring and hit PJP with the Tower of London. The ref called the match, but that didn't stop Balls Nasty from getting back to his feet and punishing PJP the Kentucky Falls. Balls and Charlie then stared at each other for a moment before Charlie exited the ring and the Company headed back up the ramp.


Hardcore Porn Title: Wednesday vs Captain Howdy

Madman: Wednesday is killed by a giant wasp but manages to win because of a technicality that says no matter how the match ends, only a person named after a day of the week can win today!

Narrator: Actually…

Monroe: Captain Howdy wasted no time bringing the fight to Wednesday. With no ring rust, it looked like Captain Howdy would win the Hardcore Porn Title from the Champion. But Wednesday was able to weather the worst of his opponent’s attacks and use a reversed Irish whip to execute a See You Next Tuesday. Wednesday wasted no time in using Seven days to pick up the win and retain his title. However, the bell had barely rung when MisterJLA blindsided Wednesday and hit him with Final Justice. TK-069 ran out to help his teammate, but MisterJLA and Captain Howdy had escaped…