We come back from commercial to find King Snarf in the ring. A folding chair is in the ring, and a man in a suit stands next to a machine. King Snarf raises the mic and begins to speak.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, it is I, King Snarf. First, some good news! Despite certain attempts to discredit my good name, the RDCW board of directors have signed a rematch. Now, who's defending the title against whom is of little relevance.
Now, onto more somber news. Tonight, my integrity has been attacked by both PenWing and Chris Oakley.
Monroe: His integrity? Kind of a small target if you ask me.
Now, to clear my good name, I have decided to take a polygraph test to prove I am a man of honesty. Allow me to introduce noted lie detector operator, Horace Picklefeather.
King Snarf sits in the chair, as Mr. Picklefeather attaches some wires.
HP: Okay, Mr. Snarf, please answer yes to the first to questions so we can establish the machine is working properly. Is your name King Snarf?
KS: Yes. *ding*
HP: Are you a woman?
KS: Yes? *bzzt!*
HP: Very good. Now onto the real questions. Have you ever committed forgery?
KS: No. *ding*
HP: Are you planning to take over the Family Business?
KS: No. *ding* Okay, let's speed things up a bit. I, King Snarf, am no cheat or scoundrel! *ding* I am loyal to the Family Business! *ding* And I certainly didn't engage in any underhanded shenanigans after I lost the title! *ding* And I retired TK-069 and he cried like a little baby afterwards! *ding* And let me close by saying I wish PenWing the best of luck in our rematch. *bzzt!*
King Snarf looks up at Picklefeather who nods. King Snarf stands up.
KS: And there you have it folks! I am honest and....
Just then a voice from off-camera breaks in- Hold it, hold it, hold it!
It's Old Man Oakley, storming down to the ring!
OMO: You listen here, whippersnapper! My younger counterpart is going to thrash you tonight, and I'm going to embarras you right now! If you can pass this, ANYONE can! Strap me in!
Oakley sits in the chair and Horace attaches the wires.
KS: I see. You're familiar with the process? Then let's start. Is your name Old Man Oakley?
OMO: Yes. *ding*
KS: Are you a woman?
OMO: Yes. *bzzt!*
KS: Now let me get this straight; you claim to be from the future, right?
OMO: Yes. *ding*
KS: Now, if someone was from the future, they'd know the outcome of tonight's match, right?
OMO: That's right. *ding*
KS: So, then, YOU know the outcome of tonight's match?
OMO: Of course! *bzzt!* Uh, well, I have gotten forgetful in my old age... *bzzt!*
KS: Let's face it, you're just an old crank! And a pervert!
OMO: I'm no crank! I really am from the future! *bzzt* Okay, but I am affiliated with the Oakleys, and I'd like to see Chris win. *ding* But I am not a pervert. *bzzt!*
KS: Not a pervert. But you fantasize about women, right?
OMO: Of course. *ding*
KS: Do you fantasize about men?
OMO: Never! *bzzt!*
KS: What about animals?
OMO: No! *bzzt!*
KS: Old man, do you have erotic fantasies about barnyard animals?
OMO: No! *bzzt*
KS: Let me ask you something else. We know Chris Oakley's stance on the subject, let me ask you- have you ever committed gay incest?
OMO: No. *bzzt!* Well, there was one time at summer camp... *bzzt!* Uh, I experimented in college? *bzzt!* Okay, every weekend! *ding* And Rob Kamphausen videotapes it! *ding* Alright, I'm done with this nonsense. I hope Chris kicks you ass tonight! *ding* Now unhook me. I don't enjoy this sort of public humiliation. *bzzt! bzzt! bzzt!*
King Snarf, pleased with himself, mugs for the audience, not noticing that Old Man Oakley has stood up and taken the chair in his grasp, hate burning in his feeble old eyes, looking to cave Snar's head in. Oakley starts to swing, only for King Snarf to quickly turn and duck. He boots Oakley in the stomach, causing him to drop the chair, and delivers a haymaker, knocking the old man down in one punch, to a mixed reaction of cheers and boos.
Monroe: I would like to remind everyone that polygraph's are not 100% reliable. Having said that, that was one of the more entertaining segments I've seen in some time. King Snarf and Chris Oakley are gonna have a hell of a match tonight!
