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King Snarf (70%, 23 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (30%, 10 Votes)
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Allied Powers (97%, 32 Votes)
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Team GOP (3%, 1 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (Champ) (84%, 27 Votes)
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Tommy Savitz (16%, 5 Votes)
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James Fantastic (28%, 9 Votes)
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El Superbeasto (72%, 23 Votes)
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Nowhereman (Champ) (53%, 18 Votes)
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Stupid Doog (47%, 16 Votes)
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Meeko (46%, 16 Votes)
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Stareena (54%, 19 Votes)
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Darth (33%, 11 Votes)
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Howlerama (67%, 22 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch / PenWing (41%, 14 Votes)
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Johnny Evil / Charlie (59%, 20 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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*We cut to ringside and our primary announce team of Mike "The Mouth" Monroe and Madman Marcum as Havoc's opening pyro and theme music winds down.
Monroe: Fans, last week, Grace kidnapped, tortured, and put Nuriko indefinately out of action!
Marcum: I'm as surprised as you are, Monroe! I never thought she had it in her!
Monroe: But how will SD6 react to this?
Marcum: If they're smart, they'll pack their bags and get out of Dodge!
Monroe: Somehow, I doubt that's what they'll do. Stay tuned to Havoc, folks, because it starts right now!
*Cut back to the ring as James White begins to announce the opening match of Tuesday Night Havoc!
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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*The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the fans roar to their feet and sing along as PenWing makes his way to the ring.*
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Everybody
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Alright
PenWing: Are you happy now, Louie? Did Grace dish out the revenge you were hoping for? This week the TKOs were supposed to return to action. Instead, the number one women's contender will be out for months rehabbing her knee. And yes, she's in a whole hell of a lot of pain. But, I don't think you're going to like the result. I don't think Grace is going to like the result. And I most certainly don't think Sneaky Bunny is going to like the result of this attack. Because tonight, in this very ring, Meeko will be returning to singles compitition. And let me tell you something, I have never seen her as pissed off as she is right now.
*Pops from the crowd.*
PenWing: As for my own match tonight, Captain Sammitch is looking forward to returning to the ring, and he'll have something to say about that later.
*More pops from the crowd.*
PenWing: That leaves the main reason I'm out here. (PenWing smiles) King Snarf, you made some very interesting accusations. You say I voided my contract by writing on, what was it? Oh, right, page 34a of my "official" RDCW application, in a space reserved for the RDCW only. The first thing that I can't believe I need to point out here, is that there is a difference between an application and a contract. See, an application is what you fill out when you want to apply for work. A contract is what you sign when your application has been accepted. Now, I know it's hard to believe, Snarf, but all I did was sign and date the contract as written by the RDCW. I never wrote anything additional on it, because that's not how contract signings work.
*This gets a chuckle out of the crowd.*
PenWing: But, if I must disprove this claim... Please show the application from last week.
*The Cheese-o-tron displays the application Snarf used as proof of PenWing's ineligibility to compete in the RDCW.*
PenWing: Just so everyone knows, this is actually a copy of my application. I would ask how Snarf got his hands on it, but... Anyway, please display Snarf's own application beside mine. And in case you're wondering, Snarf has his sources, and I have mine. I also had a handwriting expert varify what I am about to say. If you look not so carefully at these two documents, you will see that the word "Okay" doesn't really match my own handwriting. However, it does match quite well with Snarf's handwriting. In fact, if you look at the second paragraph where he is describing himself, he actually writes the word "okay".
*The crowd breaks out in laughter.*
PenWing: The handwriting expert had the same reaction. He told me he's seen some stuff pulled, but usually the forgers try to make their handwriting actually look like someone else's. And Snarf, it didn't take an episode of "Dragnet" to point that out to me.
*More laughs from the crowd.*
PenWing: I made it clear last week that you will get your rematch. So, here I am, waiting to hear back from you. Any time! Any where! Any way you want it!
PenWing with the crowd: SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
*"Gonna Fly Now" starts playing and PenWing makes his exit to the roar of the crowd.*
Last edited by PenWing; 2005-05-10 6:56 PM.
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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*Deep within the bowels of the Cheesedome, standing outside the cellar, is the lovely Chesty Larou. She knocks on the cellar door.*
Chesty: Darth, do you have a moment for an interview? (Knocks again) Darth?
Darth: Yes.
*Chesty lets out a yelp and turns around to see Darth standing behind her. She lets out a sigh.*
Chesty: You scared me. Um... Darth, last week you challenged Howlerama to a gallows match, but at the end of the show, it was Howlerama who managed to hang you. Do you have any comments on that?
Darth: There are no excuses for failure. They had the element of surprise, and they used it. This time...
Chesty: Yes, about this time- I mean tonight! About tonight, you will be facing both Howler and Highwayman in the ring at the same time. My understanding is that this match can only be won by hanging your opponent. Do you have to hang both members of Howlerama to win?
Darth: Only one needs to be hanged. (Darth grins)
Chesty: And what about the Company, or for that mater the Bastardo Family? That is, the Family Business? Are you at all worried about outside interference from them?
Darth: It would be ill advised for nonbelievers to involve themselves in this match.
Chesty: What about believers?
*Darth looks down at Chesty.*
Darth: Even believers need to beware the power, of the darkside.
*Chesty trembles at Darth's words and he walks away. She eyes him as he turns the corner. It's not clear if she's trembling in fear or in awe of the Sith Lord.*
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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Posts: 5,813 |
After a commercial break and a promo for the next RDCW PPV, we cut back to ringside and see Chris Oakley wearing a T-shirt that reads "SCREWY BASTARDO,MANAGER OF HAS-BEENS". Chris stands in his corner beside Ian Bond,holding a microphone and looking like he knows the punch line to a joke the rest of the crowd isn't even in on.
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you will be witnessing a funeral....tonight,Peasant Snarf's reputation as an RDCW superstar will be buried once and for all,and yours truly will hold the shovel that digs its grave.
Camera pans over to Ian Bond,who passes Chris an undertaker's shovel with the words "PEASANT SNARF SUCKS" engraved on the spade.
Of course,there's still the outside chance that King Barf may not even show up for our scheduled grudge bout--especially after his fellow Bizarro Family members find out the little secret I learned about him earlier today. You see,I happened to pass by the Tub of Lardo Family locker room,and noticed it was empty;I guess it must have been time for their weekly nose-picking seminar. Anyway,I took a chance and walked into the dressing room,and when I did,I found this on the top shelf of Crap Snarf's locker.
Camera zooms in to a luchador's mask clutched in Chris' hand;we hear a shocked gasp from the crowd as they recognize the mask worn by Hombre Lagarto. Over at the broadcast booth,Madman Marcum and Mike "the Mouth" Monroe are looking at each other like they've just seen a ghost.
That's right,folks,Peasant Snarf is the REAL Hombre Lagarto,and besides this mask,I also found a half-dozen pages of notes in his handwriting describing what he calls his "master plan" to drive Louie Bastardo,Sweet Willie Williams,and El Superbeasto out of RDCW and take over the Bastardo Family with the help of Howlerama...
Camera cuts to the Bastardo Family dressing room,where a clearly ticked-off Snarf is watching Oakley on the monitor and muttering threats to tear Oakley's head off. Grabbing two pairs of brass knuckles,he storms out of the dressing room and bolts toward the ring,pausing just long enough to punch out a cameraman who has the misfortune to get in his way.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
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Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353 |
We come back from commercial to find King Snarf in the ring. A folding chair is in the ring, and a man in a suit stands next to a machine. King Snarf raises the mic and begins to speak.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, it is I, King Snarf. First, some good news! Despite certain attempts to discredit my good name, the RDCW board of directors have signed a rematch. Now, who's defending the title against whom is of little relevance.
Now, onto more somber news. Tonight, my integrity has been attacked by both PenWing and Chris Oakley.
Monroe: His integrity? Kind of a small target if you ask me.
Now, to clear my good name, I have decided to take a polygraph test to prove I am a man of honesty. Allow me to introduce noted lie detector operator, Horace Picklefeather.
King Snarf sits in the chair, as Mr. Picklefeather attaches some wires.
HP: Okay, Mr. Snarf, please answer yes to the first to questions so we can establish the machine is working properly. Is your name King Snarf?
KS: Yes. *ding*
HP: Are you a woman?
KS: Yes? *bzzt!*
HP: Very good. Now onto the real questions. Have you ever committed forgery?
KS: No. *ding*
HP: Are you planning to take over the Family Business?
KS: No. *ding* Okay, let's speed things up a bit. I, King Snarf, am no cheat or scoundrel! *ding* I am loyal to the Family Business! *ding* And I certainly didn't engage in any underhanded shenanigans after I lost the title! *ding* And I retired TK-069 and he cried like a little baby afterwards! *ding* And let me close by saying I wish PenWing the best of luck in our rematch. *bzzt!*
King Snarf looks up at Picklefeather who nods. King Snarf stands up.
KS: And there you have it folks! I am honest and....
Just then a voice from off-camera breaks in- Hold it, hold it, hold it!
It's Old Man Oakley, storming down to the ring!
OMO: You listen here, whippersnapper! My younger counterpart is going to thrash you tonight, and I'm going to embarras you right now! If you can pass this, ANYONE can! Strap me in!
Oakley sits in the chair and Horace attaches the wires.
KS: I see. You're familiar with the process? Then let's start. Is your name Old Man Oakley?
OMO: Yes. *ding*
KS: Are you a woman?
OMO: Yes. *bzzt!*
KS: Now let me get this straight; you claim to be from the future, right?
OMO: Yes. *ding*
KS: Now, if someone was from the future, they'd know the outcome of tonight's match, right?
OMO: That's right. *ding*
KS: So, then, YOU know the outcome of tonight's match?
OMO: Of course! *bzzt!* Uh, well, I have gotten forgetful in my old age... *bzzt!*
KS: Let's face it, you're just an old crank! And a pervert!
OMO: I'm no crank! I really am from the future! *bzzt* Okay, but I am affiliated with the Oakleys, and I'd like to see Chris win. *ding* But I am not a pervert. *bzzt!*
KS: Not a pervert. But you fantasize about women, right?
OMO: Of course. *ding*
KS: Do you fantasize about men?
OMO: Never! *bzzt!*
KS: What about animals?
OMO: No! *bzzt!*
KS: Old man, do you have erotic fantasies about barnyard animals?
OMO: No! *bzzt*
KS: Let me ask you something else. We know Chris Oakley's stance on the subject, let me ask you- have you ever committed gay incest?
OMO: No. *bzzt!* Well, there was one time at summer camp... *bzzt!* Uh, I experimented in college? *bzzt!* Okay, every weekend! *ding* And Rob Kamphausen videotapes it! *ding* Alright, I'm done with this nonsense. I hope Chris kicks you ass tonight! *ding* Now unhook me. I don't enjoy this sort of public humiliation. *bzzt! bzzt! bzzt!*
King Snarf, pleased with himself, mugs for the audience, not noticing that Old Man Oakley has stood up and taken the chair in his grasp, hate burning in his feeble old eyes, looking to cave Snar's head in. Oakley starts to swing, only for King Snarf to quickly turn and duck. He boots Oakley in the stomach, causing him to drop the chair, and delivers a haymaker, knocking the old man down in one punch, to a mixed reaction of cheers and boos.
Monroe: I would like to remind everyone that polygraph's are not 100% reliable. Having said that, that was one of the more entertaining segments I've seen in some time. King Snarf and Chris Oakley are gonna have a hell of a match tonight!
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Backstage, James Fantastic and Two-Ton Tommy are relaxing. James is playing around on his guitar, whilst Two Ton Tommy is clearly in a state of considerable emotional turmoil
JF: Come on, Tommy relax. You got the night off, didn't you?
TTT: I should've been there. I should've stopped her.
James sighs, and sets his guitar down
JF: Look, it's not your fault, okay? Nuriko can look after herself, and besides, Grace would probably've taken you to. Then where would we be?
TTT: Where we should have been.
JF: Look, Nuriko's gonna be fine...
TT: That's not the point, dammit!
Tommy thumps the wall, and Fantastic sighs again
JF: Look, you've got other responisbilities now, okay? You're part of SD-6 now, and we're a team. That means we look after each other. You saw how pissed Meeko and Penwing were, right? We're all looking out for Nurkio now, so don't take it so personal.
TT: Then we all failed.
JF: Look, we knew the danger when we signed on, didn't we? Nuriko knew something like this might happen, same as I knew I'd get my ass handed to me like last week. If you're worrying about failing Nuriko, then don't. Look, why don't you take some time off and hang with her? We'll cover whilst you're away.
Tommy cheers up a bit
TTT: You're a good man, James.
JF: Wasn't always, was I? Now get out of here and visit your girlfriend.
TTT: She's NOT my girlfriend.
Fantastic grins, and Tomym sighs as he heads out of the locker room
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64 |
MisterJLA is confronted by backstage interviewer "The Crotch" before the DCMB Champ gets into a limo...
TC: "JLA! MisterJLA! What is your reaction?"
JLA: "Reaction to what, you simpering idiot? Can't you see that I'm trying to get into my beautiful limo? That's right, it's mine. All mine. You ride in style when you're the Champ. What do you want to talk about? My glorious debut as a tag wrestler? Well, I would like to say that I'm humbled and honored, but I knew Howdy and I would win the match. With my ring savvy, and Howdy's...uh, I don't know, ability to wear down our opponents by taking a proper beating, I knew we couldn't lose. The Playboys are tough, I'll give them that, but they were outclassed by me."
TC: "You mean outclassed by you *and* Howdy, right?"
JLA: "Oh yeah, sure, whatever. Now I have to get going. I'm off to celebrate at my strip club of choice, where I might get a handie from my favorite girl if the bouncer isn't paying attention...I MEAN, I'm off to have free sex with a beautiful groupie of mine who is built like a centerfold."
TC: "But wait, JLA, I never got your reaction to the news of your next tag match!"
JLA: "I suppose you'll have the honor of telling me who my...our opponents will be. Will it be the Tag Champs? Will the Allied Powers FINALLY get our shot at the gold?"
TC: "Finally? You guys just won your first match..."
JLA: "..."
TC: "No, you and Captain Howdy will face...Team GOP!"
JLA turns pale!
JLA: "But...I...I am a neocon! Howdy will never trust me! He might even try to turn on me before the match!"
Just then JLA sees Captain Howdy get ready to ride away in his motorcycle...
JLA: "Hey, partner...I guess you heard the news! You and I are scheduled to face those two no-good capitalist imperialistic swine, Team GOP! Um..."Four More Years" what a load of bloody rubbish, eh mate? Why, I know the Labour Party can kick their..."
Captain Howdy: "Oh, stop trying to sound British, you tosser! We all know you're a two-bit neocon! I don't care about that! But you better be ready to kick their conservative arses when the match starts!"
JLA: "Pip-pip, old man! We will put the mockers on any hopes of Team GOP giving us a solid rogering!"
Howdy gets on his motorcycle and speeds away, while muttering under his breath about how big a prawn JLA is...
"The Crotch" goes his own way as well. With no one around, JLA walks around the limo, and gets into his car: a '86 Yugo.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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*El Superbeasto is backstage with King Snarf Rules.
KSR: Superbeasto, tonight you're facing Jimmy Faboo, ex Bastardo, ex Bond Brigadier, and now a member of SD6, who are at war with the Family Business. Your comments?
ES: Fantastico, you are nothing. You were nothing with Senor Bastardo's help, and you have continued to be nothing. You walk around and act like you are big deal, when you have never held titles, never beaten anyone, never sold out arenas. You are bug waiting to be squashed. Superbeasto will squash you and send you back to tiny island of Not-So-Great Britain.
KSR: What about the charges of Chris Oakley that Los Azules are preparing to return and face off against you again?
ES (laughing): Oh, Los Putas. I send them to hospital months ago and Oakley thinks I worry about them returning? Let me say this to Oakley. Looks directly into camera Senor Oakley, the only reason you are not in hospital next to Los Putas, is because of Nowhereman. If Nowhereman had not saved you at Rehash, you would be cripple like them. Senor Oakley, if King Snarf does not finish you tonight, I will.
KSR: Speaking of Nowhereman, do you have any comments about your match against him last week when you tapped out. . .
ES (grabbing mic and shaking up KSR): I DID NOT GIVE UP!!! Nowhereman tried to take my mask, and I move to stop him! Stupid know nothing referee signals for bell! I no quit! Remember, Nowhereman, I come for you again! I take your title and squash you! VIVA LA RAZA! VIVA EL SUPERBEASTO!!!!!!!
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
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<'Let's Get It Started' blares over the speakers and the crowd erupts as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring accompanied by Meeko and PenWing. Although he slips between the ropes easily enough, Sammitch appears to be leaning on his staff slightly. His facial expression suggests he might be in pain, but Sammitch fights it off as he takes a mic from Meeko and after a long pause, begins to speak.>
CS: Good evening.
<The crowd breaks into applause but quiets down as Captain Sammitch raises a hand.>
CS: There's a line, you know. There's a point after which something's just not right. And I'm here because that line was crossed last week.
Monroe: Sammitch is obviously referring to the savage beating Grace inflicted on Nuriko at the end of last week's Havoc.
Marcum: He sure doesn't look happy about that! I just wanna know what he plans to do!
CS: Louie, we kidnapped you. I'll concede that we weren't too polite in doing that. We tied you up and left you in the women's restroom. Yeah, not quite dinner and a movie.
<Laughs from the crowd.>
CS: But at what point does that justify brutally beating Nuriko with a damned sledgehammer? Tell me that, Louie. Tell me that.
Monroe: Good question.
Marcum: Don't be silly! That's what you can expect when you push a man of will like Mr. Bastardo too far!
CS: I won't lie - there's definitely no shortage of bad blood between your people and our people. There's more than enough animosity between us to justify the fights we've gotten into, the damage we've done to each other, and even some of the things we've done to each other outside the ring. But what you did to Nuriko was wrong. Just plain wrong.
<The crowd begins clamoring restlessly.>
CS: Two weeks ago, I took on Joe Mama and we pretty much beat the hell out of each other. We fought to a standstill and sent each other to the hospital. And you know what that did to me? I don't like Joe any more than I did before that match. But I respect his abilities, and I respect that he saved everything he had for the ring.
Marcum: You have to respect Joe Mama! He's one of the greatest wrestlers the RDCW's ever seen!
CS: However, I have no respect for anyone who feels the only way they can get their point across is to inflict bodily harm outside the ring. I don't care if it was Grace wielding that hammer, Louie. You and everyone associated with you are just as responsible for what happened. And all of you are going to have to pay for it.
<The crowd erupts into applause, but Sammitch raises his hand and quiets them again.>
CS: In case you're all nervous now, we're not going to stoop to your level and try and 'get' you in the locker room or the back hallway. You want us? You know where we'll be. And I hate to tell you this, Mr. Williams, but even though you're a latecomer to this whole thing, you and your people are, by your own choice, on the wrong side of this.
Monroe: The Company may have gotten in over their heads by forming this alliance...
CS: Tonight, myself and the real RDCW Heavyweight Champion, PenWing, are facing off against Charlie and Johnny Evil. As members of this Family Business or whatever the hell they want to call it, these two unfortunate individuals will be the first to face us after what was done to Nuriko. And I can promise both of you, gentlemen, that regardless of the outcome of this match, tonight will be rather unpleasant for you.
<More cheers from the crowd.>
CS: We are SD-6. You have the choice to respect us or not, to oppose us or not, even to attack us or not. But every choice has consequences, and you had better be prepared for those consequences. Because any time, anywhere...
crowd: SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
<'We Will Rock You' plays amid thunderous applause as the charter members of SD-6 exit the ring...>
Monroe: Captain Sammitch has thrown down the gauntlet right here in the ring!
Marcum: But is he still too injured to follow through on his words?
Monroe: We'll find out soon!
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Grudge Match: King Snarf vs Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley entered the ring, looking confident that victory was to be his. He stood in the center of the ring, arms crossed defiantly, as “When It All Goes Wrong Again” played. But King Snarf didn’t come out. King Snarf’s entrance music cued up again but, again, the former Heavyweight Cheese Champion was a no-show. Chris Oakley demanded that the bell be rung and the ref start the ten count. The ref complied. As the ref counted “eight”, King Snarf entered the ring area through the crowd, slid into the ring and locked Chris Oakley in his headlock. Chris struggled to reach the rope, but came up short and was forced to tap out.
Allied Powers vs The GOP
The newest tag team of MisterJLA and Captain Howdy scored a second upset in as many weeks, this time against The G-Man and Wannabuyamonkey. A distracted ref and Final Justice allowed the DCMB-Champ and the Hardcore Legend to hit their Double Powerbomb for the win.
Lightweight Faggot Title: Spandex Monkey Man vs Tommy Savitz
Monroe: Now, folks, we have a match between two former tag partners, Spandex Monkey Man and Tommy Savitz!
Marcum: SPAMM needs all the practice he can get for when he next faces off against Johnny Evil!
The match started off at a furious speed, with both wrestlers trading moves back and forth almost faster than the eye could follow. Neither could really claim an advantage, but Savitz eventually took the lead, hitting his former partner with The Anaesthetist before hitting him with a running leg drop. He then attempted to lock in The X-Ray, but SPAMM crawled to the ropes to secure a rope break.
Monroe: If the rest of the match is like this we're in for a hell of a time folks!
Spamm attempted to hit Tommy with a Spandex Monkey Slam, but Tommy reversed this into a Huracanrana, before climbing the turnbuckle and hitting a diving leg drop. He then Irish whipped his former tag partner into the turnbuckle and hit The Operating Table, but SPAMM kicked out on two. Undeterred, Tommy locked in Cardiac Arrest, but Spandex Monkey Man broke the hold and hit a Spandex Supersault, but Tommy dodged the move and SPAMM crashed onto the mat. However he bounded up and hit a charging Tommy with a Spandex Superkick. Nevertheless Tommy kicked out of the subsequent pin on two.
Monroe: My god! Tommy just kicked out of Spandex Monkey Man's finisher!
Marcum: Big Deal!
Spandex Monkey Man seemed exhausted, and had to use the ropes to get to his feet, whilst Tommy bounded to his feet and went straight for him. However, SPAMM grabbed him round the throat and hit him with a Spandex Monkey Slam before dragging him back to his feet and hitting him with a Super Slam. He then draped himself across his recumbent foe, and managed to get a three count to win the match.
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SD-6 vs Family Business: James Fantastic vs El Superbeasto
*Havoc returns from commercial break and we hear Del Castillo's "Back From the Grave" playing, El Superbeasto already in the ring, accompanied by Louie Bastardo and Grace.
Then James Fantastic's music kicks in and the SD6er makes his way to ringside, playing his guitar as pyro goes off around him.
Throughout the match, Fantastic attempted to use his speed and agility to keep the giant luchador in check, but El Superbeasto's massive size and power proved too much for his smaller opponent this night.
Fantastic hit a pair of Classy Kicks, attempting to knock the massive beast to his knees, but Superbeasto remained on his feet, though slightly shaken. Fantastic launched himself off of the top rope, attempting a Fabacanrana, only to have Superbeasto reverse the move into a devastating powerbomb!
Superbeasto went for a pin, but Fantastic managed to get his shoulder up before the three count! Superbeasto picked him up and wrapped his arms around the SD6er. Superbeasto then proceeded to deliver multiple Giant Headbutts to his foe!
Superbeasto released Fantastic, who dropped to the mat in a daze! Superbeasto went for a Giant Elbowdrop, but Fantastic recovered enough to roll out of the way and the luchador hit the mat!
Fantastic speedily attempted to apply the SD Rocker to his foe, but the giant was too large for him to lock in the hold properly and Superbeasto shrugged him off into the ropes.
Louie Bastardo attempted to interfere by grabbing Fantastic's leg, but Fantastic was too quick for him and stomped at Louie's hand, which was quickly withdrawn.
This prompted Meeko down to ringside, and she began pounding on the mat, attempting to rally the fans behind Fantastic. All the while Grace stared at her icily.
Superbeasto recovered and again locked Fantastic in a bear hug, holding his much smaller foe high into the air. Fantastic pounded away at the giant's head, in an attempt to make him release the hold, but Superbeasto redoubled the pressure, working on the rocker's back.
Meeko had the fans chanting Fantastic's name, while Louie Bastardo screamed for them to "Shut up!" Fantastic managed by escape by poking Superbeasto in the eyes, causing the giant to drop him. Fantastic bounded up to the top rope and with a "WOO!" went for the One and Only.
But Superbeasto was again too powerful for his foe and reversed the move into a backdrop. Recovering from the eye poke, Superbeasto grasped Fantastic by the neck and delivered a thunderous Chokeslam to Oblivion which rendered his foe unconscious.
The crowd grew silent as Meeko gasped, holding her hands to her face. Superbeasto covered his foe as the referee counted him out.
Meeko rolled into the ring to check on Fantastic as the Bastardo Family members celebrated. Shoving Meeko out of the way, Superbeasto again picked up Fantastic and prepared to deliver another chokeslam! Meeko yelled at the giant, which prompted him to grab her with his other hand! The Giant Luchadore prepared to chokeslam both SD6 members when the crowd began cheering wildly.
Marcum: They want Superbeasto to chokeslam Meeko!
Monroe: Would you be serious? They're cheering for Tommy!
Marcum: Whut?!?
Monroe: Tommy! It's Tommy! He came back to help out his friends!
Two-Ton Tommy ran into the ring and immediately swung a steel folding-chair into the giant's back, causing him to release his grip. Tommy worked over Superbeasto with the chair, causing him to leave the ring as Fantastic and Meeko slumped back to the mat.
Superbeasto, Louie, and Grace left the arena as Tommy checked on his friends in the ring.
Eurotrash Match: Nowhereman vs Stupid Doog
Cuntface Crippler for the win. Just because I like writing that finisher.
Women’s Division: Meeko vs Stareena
Although Meeko fought a hardy (as opposed to a Hardy) battle, her ring rust was all-too-evident. Stareena was able to maintain the advantage for most of the match, ultimately winning with a Shooting-Stareena Press.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Gallows Match: Darth vs. Howlerama
Back from break, a makeshift gallows has been assembled consisting of two upright posts extending from opposite corner turnbuckles and a crossbeam on the top. There is a noose hanging from the center of the crossbeam. "La Grange" plays, and Howlerama, accompanied by Slick Willie Williams and his usual pair of divas, makes there way down the ramp. Howlerama enters the ring and inspects the gallows. The lights go out, replaced by a red glow, and the "Imperial March" plays as Darth rises from beneath the stage. Slick ushers his divas to the other side of the ring, and Darth makes his way down the ramp and into the ring. Howlerama wastes no time, as they immediately attack Darth with a series of double team moves from Consumerism (Super Double Powerbomb) to Hostile Takeover (3d), and finally, the Big Bucks (Super Double Powerbomb).
Marcum: Darth made a big mistake demanding this match! Howlerama is too fast for him to take on alone!
Slick throws a chair into the ring as, together, Howler and Highwayman lift Darth to his feet and drag him beneath the noose. Howler supports Darth as Highwayman sets up the chair and stands on top of it. As they begin to lift Darth up to the noose, he awakens. Darth grabs both of their heads and falls back for a double DDT.
Monroe: Darth doesn't seem at all phased by the beating Howlerama gave him!
Darth starts to work over Highwayman with a series of punches and chops. Finally, Darth lifts him up across his shoulders and puts him in the Sabre Stretch. Satisfied with Highwayman's screams of pain, Darth ends the torture with the Darkside Slam. He then moves on to Howler, giving him the same treatment. But when Darth tries to put Howler in the Sabre Stretch, he manages to fall out of his hold. Darth turns to face him, but Howler strikes back with an atomic drop.
Marcum: I am shocked! Darth actually appears to have balls!
Outside the ring, Slick is holding a lasso. He starts swinging it, and as Darth lunges at Howler's throat, Slick throws the lasso, securing it around Darth's neck. Slick yanks on the rope, and Highwayman, now back on his feet, Stands And Delivers (Superkick), sending Darth falling to the mat with a loud thud. Howler takes the rope and throws it over the crossbeam while Highwayman gives Darth a beating. Howler begins pulling on the rope, and Highwayman joins him. Darth has no choice but to get to his feet, as he is pulled to the crossbeam. Darth continues to struggle with the noose, but Howlerama give one more yank with all of their weight, and Darth is pulled up to the crossbeam. Slick slips into the ring and throws the end of the lasso around the crossbeam, helping Howlerama secure the noose in place, and the ref has no choice but to call for the bell as Darth hangs above the ring.
Captain Sammitch/PenWing vs. Johnny Evil/Charlie
The match got off to a quick start with PenWing and Johnny Evil executing a series of fast pace moves. PenWing managed to execute a Drag 'n’ Whip only to have Johnny kick out two. In return, Johnny hit the Surprise in the Sky, but was unable to get the cover quickly, allowing PenWing to kick out at two. Johnny dragged PenWing to his corner and tagged in Charlie. Charlie began beating PenWing with a series of chops and punches. He then tagged in Johnny, who continued to work PenWing over in their corner.
Marcum: For two guys who used to hate each other, this is some amazing teamwork! I think this should make it clear why Louie and Slick chose these wrestlers to be part of the Family Business!
Charlie was tagged back in the ring, and he set PenWing up for the Pitbull DDT (Reverse Lifting DDT), but PenWing somehow reversed the move into Sudden Death, and crowd roared to their feet chanting as the ref began to count.
Monroe: Is there any move PenWing can't turn into Sudden Death!
As the ref got to eight, PenWing tagged in Captain Sammitch, who ran at Charlie with a forearm. Johnny was able to make the blind tag, and he climbed the ropes for another Surprise in the Sky, Sammitch was able to counter it with a Sammitch Spin. Sammitch then grabbed Johnny and began executing a series of six Sammitch Suplexes as the crowd counted. Sammitch went for the pin, but Charlie hit the Wall Street Drop (Diving Knee Drop) to break the count. Again, the ref started counting. Both wrestlers were able to tag in their partners at seven, and PenWing and Charlie began trading punches.
Monroe: You can feel the hate these teams have for each other! They seem to have forgotten this is a wrestling match and are treating it like a street brawl!
Finally, Charlie grabbed PenWing's arm and whipped him into the ropes. He followed it up with a clothesline, sending PenWing over. Charlie tried to leave the ring, but Lothar wouldn't let him. As Charlie argued, Johnny started signaling to someone in the crowd.
Monroe: What's Johnny doing?
King Snarf and Joe Mama climbed out of the crowd.
Marcum: He’s back! The Enforcer is back!!!
Monroe: I thought he had broken ribs?!? There’s no way he should be back in action!
Marcum: It looks like your sources gave you the wrong information, Monroe!
As King Snarf started going to work on PenWing, Joe Mama hit Captain Sammitch with a Brain Buster. Then Joe Mama turned on PenWing and started to scream, “Who’s the REAL Champ, PenWing? It’s ain’t YOU!!!” as King Snarf worked his headlock on the SD-6 team member. Johnny Evil gave PenWing the Mission to Mars outside the ring as King Snarf and Joe Mama disappeared into the booing crowd With his teammates safely hidden, Johnny returned to his corner. Lothar counted the champs out and awarded the victory to Johnny Evil and Charlie.
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