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Monroe: Last week, the Family got down to Business, taking out their opposition.
Marcum: That's Family Business, Monroe!
Monroe: I hate to say it, but the Family Business is flat out dominating the RDCW. What will happen this week? Stay tuned, the Havoc starts now!
Spandex Monkey Man (Champ) (63%, 15 Votes)
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Winged Creature (38%, 9 Votes)
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Allied Powers (71%, 17 Votes)
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Punch / Counterpunch (29%, 7 Votes)
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Joe Mama (Champ) (80%, 20 Votes)
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Rex (20%, 5 Votes)
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Wednesday (Champ) (64%, 16 Votes)
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Charlie (36%, 9 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch / PenWing (Champs) (64%, 16 Votes)
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El Superbeasto / Johnny Evil (36%, 9 Votes)
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James Fantastic (76%, 19 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (24%, 6 Votes)
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Nowhereman (Champ) (81%, 21 Votes)
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King Snarf (19%, 5 Votes)
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*Deep within the bowels of the Cheesedome, a camera follows Chesty Larou as she approaches the cellar.*
Chesty: Darth?
*Chesty knocks on the door, and it opens. Cautiously, Chesty enters the cellar. The room is dark, lit only by a red glow.*
Chesty: Darth, are you in here?
*The camera picks up Chesty's breath as it leaves her mouth. To show how cold the room really is, camera lowers to show Chesty's hardened-*
Chesty: Hey! My face is up here!
*Chesty looks around the room, but Darth is nowhere in sight. Chesty turns back to the exit and yelps in shock as she sees Darth standing there.*
Chesty: Excuse me. Darth, I wanted to ask you about your match last week. It was a terrible loss to Howlerama, and the way they left you hanging there...
Darth: It takes more than rope to defeat a Sith Lord.
Chesty: But- but isn't that exactly what happened last week when Slick Willie Williams-
Darth: What? When he lassoed me from behind? Make no mistake, Chesty Larou, there will be a reckoning. Slick Willie Williams placed himself in that match. He placed himself in that ring. He tipped the scale in his favor. And he did so illegally. Slick Willie Williams was not invited to the hanging. His interferance will not be forgotten.
Chesty: Are you- are you blaming your loss on Slick?
Darth: I lost that match because I failed to take into account what having Slick Willie Williams at ringside would mean. I underestimated his deceptiveness. It won't happen again.
Chesty: Will you demand a rematch against Howlerama?
Darth: There is no need. Howlerama cannot defeat me without...help. To waste my time with them any further would be futile. But, know this: There will come a time when we will once again meet in the ring. When that time comes, they will know the power...of the darkside.
*Darth slips into the shadows leaving Chesty once again trembling in his wake.*
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Backstage, we see all four members of The Company in their locker room. Whilst Howlerama and Balls Nasty are relaxing, Charlie is clearly pissed off (so what's new?)
Howler: Relax will ya? Save it for the hardcore match.
Charlie: Piss off. What's the bloody use of a title fight when Mama interferes?
Howlerama and Balls share a look
Highwayman: Don't tell me your still pissed about the match last week? It's history. Over. You won, and you're still angry?
Charlie: I could'a taken him. Seriously, you saw me in there, I was smokin'. Best damn form I've been in for weeks, and then what? King Snarf and Joe Mama interfere, bloody cheat me. I didn't win 'cos of [i[my fighting. I won 'cos they interfered. Bastards.
Howler: Hey! They're on our side, remember? You got issues, you keep your mouth shut. Penwing and Sammitch are theirs, so we keep off. In return, we get their help with our problems.
Charlie: Yeah, right. You guys should be tag champions!
Highwayman: And we will be. But after Family Business has won it's war.
Charlie pauses, then nods slowly.
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Nowhereman is backstage talking to Captain Howdy
NM:"Howdy,what the fuck are you doing tagging with that idiot JLA?"
NM:"The guy cant even wrestle. You are doing all the work & he's taking all the glory!"
Cap:"Look,you wasnt interested in tagging so the opportunity came up & I took it!"
NM:"But what about the hardcore belt?"
Cap:"Look NM,I lost my title shot for the belt but that dont mean I have given up on it. So far we have won both our tag matches & theres a damn good chance we will get a tag title shot soon!"
NM:"But surely you could picked someo...."
Cap:"Do I question you on your decisions?"
NM:"No but....."
Cap:"Just what exactly are you doing at the moment anyway?"
NM:"The Bastardos think they are something special & I aim to show them they aint. I took down that turn coat Stupid Doog two weeks ago,and last week I once again put El Stupid Breasto out of commision & tonight I'm gonna shut that idiot Snarfs mouth once & for all!"
Cap:"Well you know I got ya back if the Bastardos decide not to play fair!"
NM:"Yeah,I know,but dont worry,there aint nothing those wankers can do that I cant deal with myself!"
NM:"Snarf is going down quicker tonight than he has ever done in Robs office!"
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JLA is seen looking through the corridors of the Cheesedome, with his DCMB Belt thrown over his shoulder.
JLA: Nowhereman! Where art thoust swine?
Nowhereman: JLA, you bender! Quit trying to sound British! It's not going to earn you points with Howdy!
JLA:That's just what I wanted to talk to you about! I heard you're talking sh...rubbish about me! Knock it off, you bugger!
Howdy and I are undefeated as a team! First it was The Playboys, then Team GOP! With my ring skill, and Howdy's...tenacity, we can't be stopped!
NM: Bollocks! I watched your matches, Howdy does all the work! All you do is that stupid kick, and help Howdy with the double powerbomb! You'd be...nowhere...without him!
JLA: Pish-posh, old boy! Howdy sets 'em up, and I mow 'em down! That's the plan, and it's been working fine. Now piss off and stay out of my business!
NM: Wanker!
JLA:Buggerer!
NM:: Gaylord!
JLA: Fish and chips indeed!
NM: Wha...?
JLA: I don't know. Just stay out of my business, or I'll have to add your Eurotrash belt to my collection!
JLA walks off, and Nowhereman shakes his head in disgust...
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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JLA proceeds to walk through the corridors of the Cheesedome, when he is approached by backstage interviewer, The Crotch!
TC:Champ, great win tonight for the Allied Powers over Team GOP! Many of your critics didn't think you had it in you to fight two fellow neocons...
JLA: Neocons or not, I want more gold! In the ring, I put all loyalties aside. Right now, Howdy is my tag partner, and we are headed straight to the top.
TC: Speaking of which, your next tag match has been announced: it will be against Punch/Counterpunch!
JLA:Counterstrike?
TC:Uh...no, Punch/Counterpunch.
JLA: Never heard of them. What's their gimmick? One punches and the other counters it or something?
TC: 
TC: No, the team consists of two brothers: Bibbo and the I-Man. They have a devastating finishing team move, where the brothers execute a double spin punch...
JLA:You are beginning to bore me, little man. But, you have told me all that I need to know. Howdy and I...and the Allied Bombing... will be ready!
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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*Back to the ringside area, as Ennio Morricone's "Ecstasy of Gold" is playing and the ring itself has been converted into Louie's Lounge! The assembled membership of the Family Business stands in the Lounge. Some are seated and having drinks, while others stand in anticipation of the upcoming pronouncement from Louie Bastardo. Louie speaks.
LB: "Finally, what you see before you tonight, is the greatest assemblage of talent that the RDCW has ever seen before! United, with one goal, one purpose in mind. That being the destruction of SD6!"
*Crowd booes loudly. Behind Louie, Joe Mama smiles and pats the IC belt on his shoulder. Slick Willie Williams and Howlerama raise their glasses for a toast with several divas.
LB: "So tonight, with that in mind, we have announced that next week on Havoc there will be a match. Not just any match. A big, big, BIG match. In one corner, the Family Business. In the other corner, SD6. It's going to be a ten on ten elimination tag match! Now I know what you're thinking, there's only six members of SD6, and only four of them are men. Well, what we decided is that if you can dig up six more people to fill out the match, then you can have the partners of your choice! Personally, I don't think you'll be able to do it!"
*Crowd starts the ASSHOLE! chants. Louie smirks. Johnny Evil climbs up on a turnbuckle and flip the crowd off. Charlie follows suit. Balls Nasty laughs and downs a shot of Jack Daniels. Sneaky Bunny and King Snarf laugh and joke to themselves.
LB: "So now, representing the Family Business! Howlerama! Charlie! Balls Nasty! El Superbeasto! The Legbreakers! Johnny Evil! Joe Mama! and King Snarf! Never, never will you again see a team this powerful and talented. So SD6, bring whoever you can find. Homeless Pete from the shelter in downtown Roboken. Ugly Bob from the corner of 53rd street. Hell, you can bring Johnny Noteeth and Timmy Da Fish if that's all you can find."
*The Family Business laughs as the crowd gets riled up. Some throw garbage into the ring. One man in particular attempts to jump the barricade, but is restrained by RDCW security.
LB: "Family is family, and business is business. Rarely do they come together successfully. But next week will be one of those rare occasions. Let's all now drink a toast."
*Several divas deliver drinks to the Family Business as Grace stands next to Louie.
LB: "To absent friends, to success, to the Family Business, and to the end of SD6! Salute!"
*They all down their drinks as "Ecstasy of Gold" begins to play again.
I make stars, baby!
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*"Ecstacy of Gold" is interupted by "Strike It Up", and Louie's smile turns to a frown as the five active members of SD-6 walk onto the stage.*
Meeko: Louie Bastardo...
*The crowd booes at the mention of his name. Meeko smiles.*
Meeko: You created the Family Business to destroy SD-6, is that right? You know Louie, that's funny, because I created SD-6 to stand up to the Family Business. And that's exactly what we've done!
*Pops from the crowd.*
Meeko: First, Captain Sammitch and PenWing not only won the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' titles, but they successfully defended them twice. And the last time was in a TLC match against the Dark Lords, the Legbreakers, and the team of King Snarf and Joe Mama!
*The crowd cheers for the tag champs.*
Meeko: And after that, PenWing defeated the former Heavyweight Cheese champion, King Snarf, in a hell in a cell match, to become the new Big Cheese Champion! And Snarf, you can cry all you want, but the fact is PenWing did reverse your sacred headlock into Sudden Death!
*More pops from the crowd.*
Meeko: Louie, here's another fact for you: You've made so many enemies in the RDCW that the only difficulty in putting a team together to face the Family Business is having to tell someone they can't be a part of it!
*The crowd roars.*
Meeko: Joining the four members of SD-6 standing here before you will be...Chris Oakley!
*Pops from the crowd.*
Meeko: Nowhereman!
*More pops from the crowd.*
Meeko: Spandex Monkey Man!
*More pops from the crowd.*
Meeko: The Dark Lords! And if I recall, didn't Darth mention something about meeting Howlerama in the ring again? Well, I'm very curious to see what he does to you next week...boys.
*The crowd cheers.*
Meeko: And, ladies and gentlemen, the newest members of SD-6...
*"Have a Cigar" by the Foo Fighters starts playing, and Meeko announces as they walk onto the stage-*
Meeko: My new tag team partner, Terri Savitz, and the final member of our ten-man team, "The Surgeon" Tommy Savitz!
*The crowd errupts at the introduction of the newest members of SD-6.*
Meeko: Louie, you wanted a war? Well here it is, because anytime, anywhere, (the crowd chants) SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
*"Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers as SD-6 and the Family Business stare at each other from across the ramp. The music can barely be heard over the crowd's cheers as Havoc goes to break.*
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-05-19 9:34 PM.
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Lightweight Faggot Division (non title) Spandex Monkey Man (Champ) vs. Winged Creature
Winged Creature was no match for the mighty superhero as Spamm made quick work of the Legbreaker after his partner Stupid Doog was ordered back to his locker room when he tried, unseccessfully, to drive Spamm's cart into the ring. Spamm took advantage of the distraction to roll Creature into a small package for the pin.
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-05-22 8:39 PM.
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Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Division: Allied Powers (MisterJLA and Captain Howdy) vs Punch / Counterpunch (The I-Man and Bibbo.)
JLA is seen talking on a cell phone in his locker room…
JLA: “Yes, I understand this is a long distance call. Yes, I know I’m calling overseas. But this an important business transaction, and I must…”
JLA: (to himself) “Lost the connection again! I must get through to…”
Just then JLA sees Howdy enter the locker room. JLA quickly hides the phone.
JLA: “Hello mate! We’re up next in our match with punch/counterduck!”
Howdy: “It’s punch/counterpunch, gibbon! And I hope you’re taking this match seriously! Those two are a force to be reckoned with!”
JLA:: Oh yes, “The Crotch”, cretin that he is, told me all about them.”
Howdy: Really then? What did he tell you?”
JLA: He told me about how they are brothers, and how they use some double spin punch maneuver.”
Howdy: “That’s it? Did he tell you that they were ranked the #2 tag team in the RDCW?
Howdy: Twice?
JLA: Well, not exactly...
Howdy: Did he tell you that they are robots? 
JLA: Uh...
Howdy: Did he tell you that they have the fury of two quarter-century old virgins???
JLA: Boy, can I relate!
Howdy: What's that?
JLA: Nothing. We better get going. Don't worry. I know The Allied Powers will prevail!
The Allied Powers make their way to the ring, to the sound of Rob's Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music. punch/counterpunch are in the ring, waiting.
After nearly getting assaulted by more than one fan, JLA enters the ring first, while Howdy stands on the ring apron. JLA takes a microphone. The I-Man is in the ring, glaring at JLA.
JLA: Well ladies and gents, again the Allied Powers are getting snubbed on a title shot. So tonight, we get to beat down punch/doublepunch, or whatever their name is.
Look at these two. They're so bad with the ladies, they make King Snarf look like Hugh Hefner!
JLA starts to do the popular old school dance, "The Robot"
JLA: Look at me! I'm from Bibboa! I'm a robot!
The I-Man loses it! He nails JLA with a clothesline to start the match, and follows up with multiple punches to the head. Special Guest Referee Typhoid Dave signals for the bell, and the match has begun!
Next, The I-Man decided to slow the match down, and locks JLA in a sleeper hold. JLA fights out of it, but is greeted with a back suplex. Then a belly-to-belly suplex. Then a powerslam. JLA is hurting!
Again, The I-Man changes the pace, and applies a Boston crab. After JLA gets to the ropes to cause the break, The I-Man throws JLA into the punch/counterpunch corner, and tags in his brother, Bibbo.
Bibbo spins JLA around, and hits the Bibboplex! He quickly goes for the cover, but only gets a two count...JLA somehow managed to kick out.
Frustrated and surprised, Bibbo picks JLA off the mat, and unexpectedly, connects with a Ace O' Spades powerbomb!
Again he gets a two-count, but Howdy breaks the pin up, prompting The I-Man to run in and attack Howdy.
Typhoid Dave tries to regain order, and in all of the confusion, JLA crawls to his corner. He waits for Howdy to return, and he tags in his partner.
Howdy immediately charges in and unleashes fists and chops onto the legal man, Bibbo. Howdy follows up with a piledriver, a DDT, and neckbreaker: Howdy is targeting Bibbo's neck!
Bibbo answers with a punch to the gut, and drives a knee to Howdy's head. Howdy is sent reeling back, and Bibbo delivers a tombstone piledriver! He then climbs the ropes, and lands a splash from the top! Next he Irish whips Howdy and greets him with a backdrop.
Howdy staggers to his feet, and while he does this, Bibbo is measuring him up at the opposite side of the ring. Once Howdy is on his feet, Bibbo charges at him, hoping to hit him with a running shoulder block.
At the last possible moment, Howdy sidesteps Bibbo, and Bibbo collides with his brother, knocking The I-Man off the ring apron!
Typhoid Dave rules this does not count as a tag, so the knocked out Bibbo is the legal man!
Howdy staggers over to his corner and tags in JLA.
JLA wants to administer The Final Justice, but Howdy wants to be tagged back in.
A confused JLA does so, and Howdy orders him to place Bibbo on his shoulders.
JLA hesitates a bit, but does so, while Howdy climbs to the top rope.
He launches himself off the top rope, hitting Bibbo with a clothesline.
JLA and Howdy have just demonstrated their new tag move, The Allied Assault
JLA leaves the ring.
With The I-Man still knocked out after colliding with his brother, Howdy gets the three count.
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-05-22 8:40 PM.
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Inter-Cunt-Inental Division (non title) Joe Mama (Champ) vs. Rex
Rex is waiting in the ring when “Faded” starts up. A visibly pissed off Joe Mama runs to the ring, dropping his belt along the way. As he slides into the ring, Rex starts in on his opponent, focusing on Joe Mama’s ribs. Rex flings him into the ropes and clamps a bear hug on the Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion.
Monroe: It looks like Rex is making quick work of Joe Mama! He shouldn’t have rushed back into action!
Madman: The only thing Rex is doing is making the Champion angrier!!!
Joe Mama’s face is a mask of rage as he drives his forehead over and over into the bridge of Rex’s nose. Rex breaks the hold and Joe Mama starts working on Rex’s head with a series of chops. At one point, Rex moves his hands away from his broken nose to block another shot, but Joe Mama pauses to spit in Rex’s face and Irish whips him into the ropes. Rex ricochets off them and Joe Mama drives him to the mat with an Enforcer. Then the Champion takes some time to kick Rex in the sides and the head before the ref pulls him away from his opponent.
Monroe: Joe Mama seems to be forgoing any type of technical wrestling in favor of punishing his opponent. But why? Rex isn’t involved in next week’s match…
Madman: Who knows? Maybe he wants to send a message to his opponents…
Joe Mama pulls away from the ref and slaps Rex into the Joe Mama-Lock. Rex taps out and the bell sounds, but the ref has to get Joe Mama’s attention and demand the hold be broken before Rex is freed. As “Faded” plays, Joe Mama motions for a microphone and then, mic in hand, turns to the crowd.
JM: Cut my music!!!
“Faded” abruptly stops.
JM: I guess you’ve all figured out that reports of my injuries were greatly exaggerated. Maybe you’ve caught on that I’m back at 100%. Thing is, while I was in the hospital nursing my injuries, I heard what a few people in the back were saying.
Marcum: Dammit, Monroe, what did you say?
Monroe: I’ve got no idea what he’s talking about!
JM: It seems that, after my match with Sammitch, several of the wrestlers who are not part of the Family were flapping their gums about me. Would I come back? What shape would I come back in? And what would happen if I DIDN’T come back? There were more than a few wrestlers jockeying for a spot in a supposed tournament to decide the next Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion. A certain member of SD-6 and one of the so-called Dark Lords actually discussed how my injuries would force me to retire, making Family Business, in their words “easy pickings”.
Now, I don’t know whom these two thought they were talking about. But let me be perfectly blunt: I’m back, I’m completely healthy and, next week, I intend to compete in this huge match that has been set up. And I WILL beat the HELL out of you! You might think that you’ve succeeded in evening the odds against Family Business. You might think that you’ve succeeded in creating a team perfectly designed to take on the combine forces of the Bastardo Family and the Corporation. You might even think that Captain Sammitch somehow softened me up enough that I won’t be much of a factor in the match. But let me assure you of one thing: The only thing you’ve succeeded in doing is making me VERY angry!!!
PenWing, I had a lot of respect for you before there was ever an SD-6 or a Bastardo Family. You were a fighting champion, willing to take on all comers. And maybe you’ll be a fighting champion, taking on all comers when you win the Heavyweight Cheese Title. But you aren’t the Champion – you know it, I know it, and even these self-deluded fans know it. So you don’t have the ability to grant me a title shot. But I will take the next best thing – sometime soon, you WILL face me to see who truly is the #1 Contender for the Heavyweight Cheese Title. Because I’ve torn up enough of the RDCW to know that I’ve earned my shot. And NOBODY – especially not someone who won a match based on a bureaucratic FLUKE - is standing between me and what’s mine! You may want to have a long conversation with Sammitch, PenWing, and you’ll definitely want to take notes. Because, when it’s time to face me, you’ll need all the help you can get!!!
And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Grimm! Mr. “I-Came-Back-From-The-Darkside-And-Brought-Darth-With-Me”. Mr. “Former Monster of the RDCW”. Mr. “Coffin-MAAAAAAAAAATCH!!!” Don’t doubt for a second that I heard you planning and plotting to put my title around Grimm Jr’s waist! You talk awfully tough for a guy whose last match with me ended with him being carried out in a coffin with a stake hand-driven through it! You want a rematch, Grimm? You name the time and place, chump, and I’ll be there. Because the Family isn’t going away! And I’m not going away! The only place any member of the Family – or Family Business – is going is straight to the top of this promotion. And if the Family’s Enforcer has to permanently eliminate some roadblocks to get there, then so be it!
You people have been warned. The Enforcer’s back! And I’m fixing to take out as many people as Family Business needs to to achieve our goals!!!
Joe Mama drops the microphone as “Faded” restarts, then he leaves the ring and heads to Family Business’ locker room.
Monroe: It looks like Joe Mama’s returned with a new fire in his eyes, Marcum!
Madman: All I know is I’d hate to step into a ring with him when he’s this angry! And it looks like he’s gonna be angry for a long time!!!
Hardcore Porn Championship Wednesday (Champ) vs. Charlie
Charlie used everything he could think of except the kitchen sink, and maybe even that would not have been enough. Charlie broke Wednesday open with a Pittbul DDT onto a steel chair, but after taking a beating just prior to this move, he was not able to get the pin quickly enough. After Wednesday kicked, out, Charlie set up a table outside the ring. Wednesday put up a fight to stay in the ring, but with both wrestlers standing on the corner turnbuckle, Charlie sent both of them through the table with Big Business. Lothar came close to counting them out, but just before he reached ten, both champion and challenger were back in the ring. So Charlie began to set up a ladder, presumably to hit the Wall Street Drop. However, Wednesday slowly got back to his feet, and whith Charlie still holding the ladder, he superkicked it into him.
Monroe: See you next Tuesday, Charlie!
Wednesday then set up the ladder and climbed all the way up, only to flip off of it to get the pin with an increadible Seven Days.
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Captain Sammitch/PenWing vs. El Superbeasto/Johnny Evil
Monroe: It's deja vu at the Cheesedome as PenWing starts off the match against Johnny Evil!
Marcum: And that's where all comparison ends! Once El Euperbesto gets into this match, it's over!
PenWing and Johnny execute a series of fast paced moves. They throw everything they can at each other, from flying clotheslines to drop kicks to Irish whips. Finally, PenWing gets Johnny isolated in SD-6's corner, and tags in Sammitch. Sammitch begins working Johnny over with a series of holds, never letting his Evil opponent get free to execute one of his devistating high flying moves. Sammitch tries to lock in the Sammitch Submission, but Johnny manages to get a hold of Sammitch and whip him into his corner. PenWing makes the blind tag, climbs the corner turnbuckle, and flies at Johnny with a crossbody for a two-count. Johnny doesn't just break the count, he gets control of the mementum and tries to lock in Countdown to Extinction. But PenWing is able to stay out of the hold, and he goes for the Sharpshooter. Johnny kicks PenWing into the Family corner. Quickly getting to his feet, Johnny leaps at PenWing. PenWing ducks, and Johnny connects with El Superbeasto, who catches him and places him on the ring apron.
Marcum: This is it!
Realizing that El Superbesto is legal, PenWing rolls to the middle of the ring and resets himself to face the giant luchadore. PenWing tries to spear El Superbeasto's leg, but the luchadore knees PenWing in the face.
Monroe: Buhgawb! PenWing is bleeding!
El Superbeasto falls on PenWing with the Giant Elbowdrop.
Monroe: PenWing is convulsing in the ring! Lothar needs to stop this match!
Not finished, El Superbeasto walks to the corner turnbuckle, and begins to climb.
Marcum: El Superbeasto is about to finish off the false champ once and for all! The Doctor will have no choice but to give the title back to King Snarf after PenWing is permanently put out of action!
Lothar tries but stop El Superbeasto, yelling at him to cover PenWing and end the match. This only slows down the might luchadore, as he does not want to get his team disqualified. Sammitch enters the ring and, and in response, Johnny tries to enter to cut him off, but Lothar only sees Johnny going through the ropes, and he puts all of his effort into stopping him. Sammitch goes straight for El Superbeasto, giving him a low blow and then climbing the ropes to face him.
Marcum: This is desgraceful! We need a new senior official!
Sammitch stands on the the top ropes, ballancing himself against El Superbeasto. He gets one arm around the luchadores head, and with the other, he grabs his tights and starts to lift him up and fall back. As Sammitch executes the most daring superplex ever attempted in the ring, PenWing opens his eyes and summons all of his strength to just roll out of the way as El Superbeasto lands in the exact spot he was lying just a moment before. Unable to withstand the impact of the gian luchadore, the ring collapses. Lothar falls out of the ring, on top of Johnny Evil, and PenWing rolls on top of El Superbeasto. Sammitch gets back to his corner as before Lothar can turn around, but he's forced to stand on the ring steps.
Monroe: A Sammitch Superplex to El Superbeasto!
Lothar makes the count and signals the bell. "Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers as Sammitch tries to reach PenWing to help him up. But Johnny Evil throws a chair at him. Sammitch catches it, and Johnny hits the Making of Flubber.
Marcum: Sammitch is Flubber! I love it!
"Lying from You" by Linkin Park starts playing as Johnny stands over Sammitch and laughs. Paramedics race to the ring to take PenWing to the hospital.
"You fucked up my car!" Match - London Street Fight James Fantastic vs. Chris Oakley
Monroe: BuhGawb! I have never seen a more brutal street fight!
Marcum: And these two are supposed to be teammates next week!
Monroe: What was Meeko thinking? These wrestlers hate each other almost as much as they hate the Family Business!
Marcum: Obviously, Meeko wasn't thinking much at all! Is there really any wonder why the Family Business is as strong as it is?
Monroe: Hopefully, James Fantastic will be able to forgive Chris Oakley for what happened to his car. But what will be the ramifications of this match? What about all the cars that were damaged as a result of James' fantastic fury?
Marcum: And that little girl! She'll be scarred for life after what Oakley did with the tire iron!
Monroe: I almost forgot about that! Folks, we're sorry we couldn't show you the match, we had some technical dificulties during the match.
Marcum: "Technical dificulties?" Is that what you call it?
Monroe: The cameraman should not have gotten so close to the action!
Marcum: Oakley threw the tire iron from twenty feet away! How was he supposed to know that would happen?
Monroe: It was a street fight!
Marcum: The only good thing about it was that it weakened two members of the oposition! Next match!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Eurotrash Championship: Nowhereman (Champ) vs. King Snarf
Everclear's "When It All Goes Wrong Again" starts playing and King Snarf struts down the ramp to booes from the crowd. Those booes quickly turn to cheers as "Creeping Death" by Metallica blasts over the speakers and Nowhereman makes his entrance through the crowd. He raises the Eurotrash title as the fans cheer.
Monroe: Snarf is looking very cocky tonight. He'll find himself in a lot of trouble if he underestimates the Eurotrash champ!
Marcum: What King Snarf is looking is confident.
Both wrestlers quickly get down to the business of beating the crap out of each other, and their hate shows with each blow. Nowhereman uses his size to his advantage as he whips Snarf into the corner and follows with a splash. But Snarf resorts to defending himself with a low blow, and he sets Nowhereman up for the Bastard Bomb. Nowhereman breaks out of the move and begins attacking Snarf with a series of moves out of the Cunt Fu hand book.
Monroe: No amount of confidence can stand up to the Cunt Fu master!
Nowhereman finally takes Snarf down with the Fucking Cuntline. He then climbs the ropes for the Flip Off and the win. However, as Lothar hands Nowhereman his belt, Johnny Evil sneaks into the ring and sends Nowhereman on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Monroe: That's Evil!
James Fantastic and Two-Ton Tommy race down the ramp. However, Howlerama are right behind them, and after catching them by surprise, they hit double Big Business fall away slams. Darth is waiting for them when they return to their feet, and he hits a double Sabre Slam! The Legbreakers appear behind Darth, and they nail him with chairs to the head, turning him into a bloody mess.
Marcum: No one can stand up to the combined might of the Family Business!
The crowd cheers as Captain Sammitch runs down the ramp with his bo staff. He makes short work of the Legbreakers, but with his back turned to the stage, he doesn't notice Charlie running at him with a chair.
Mornoe: It's total Havoc out here!
Chris Oakley comes through the crowd to surprise Charlie, and the two duke it. Oakley hits the Red Alert and stands over Charlie to gloat. Balls Nasty calmly walks down the ramp and stands right behind Oakley. Oakley turns around but is quickly taken out with the Tavernsmasher.
Marcum: Face it, there is no one back there who-
It is then that we hear "Spandex Monkey Man!" as Spamm runs down the ramp. He goes right past Balls Nasty, who has a puzzled look on his face. Spamm races into the ring, catching Johnny Evil a bit off guard, and hits the Might of the Monkey. This gives Snarf enought time to recover from the Flip Off, and he quickly begins to go to work on Spamm in the ring.
Marcum: As I was saying, the little guy tried, but he just doesn't have what it takes to stand up to the champ!
Tommy Savitz runs down the ramp. The surgeon goes straight for Balls Nasty and delivers the Anaesthetist onto the steel ramp before putting him through the Operating Table. He then locks him in the Surgeon's Knife.
Monroe: His former tag partner might disagree with you!
Having seen enough, Joe Mama runs down the ramp. The Bastardo Family enforcer breakes the surgeon's hold on Balls Nasty and begins to go to work on him. Moments later, Tommy Savitz finds himself in the Joe Mama Lock, and King Snarf has Spamm secured in the dreaded Headlock. Both wrestlers pass out are thrown to the ground as Louie Bastardo, Grace, and Slick Willie Williams walk onto the stage to look over the carnage.
LB: What you have just witnessed is a preview of the devastation that will occur next week! The Family Business is on it's way to taking over the RDCW and no one will stand in our way! Not SD6, Not Nowhereman, not even Rob Kamphausen himself can stop the Family Business!
"Ecstacy of Gold" plays as Havoc comes to an end.
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