<'Let's Get It Started' blares over the speakers and the crowd erupts as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring accompanied by Meeko and James Fantastic. PenWing is noticeably absent. After holding the ropes for Meeko and then James, Sammitch hops into the ring and picks up a mic.>
CS: Good evening, fans!
<Pops from the crowd>
CS: I'm here tonight to inform you that due to the punishment he took last week, my friend PenWing - the real RDCW Heavyweight Champ - may not be able to compete in the main event this evening.
<Murmurs from the crowd>
CS: Now I know you're all worried for him. We are too. But we're confident that PenWing knows how to take care of himself. He hasn't arrived at the Cheesedome. He might show up, he might not. But whether he does or not, the show will go on. And the Family Business had better bring its A-game tonight, or they're gonna take some serious losses.
<Huge pops from the crowd>
CS: Now I know you're all expecting me to deliver some impressive ultimatum to our opposition right about now. But this match is bigger than just me. It's bigger than SD-6. It's bigger than... let's say... Joe Mama, who continues to make a big stink about who's the 'number one contender'. You should know better, Joe. You always poke fun at Oakley for getting ahead of himself with things he says out here. But I gotta tell ya, you're jumping to some big conclusions when you tell us you're the number one contender. You know as well as all these fans that PenWing is the real RDCW Heavyweight Cheese Champ.
<Thunderous applause from the crowd. Some begin chanting PenWing's name.>
CS: And for all your talk about not having been 'softened up' enough by me in the ring, you didn't mention how I'm still here, and how I happen to be at a hundred percent too. For all you know, you could be looking at the number one contender!
<More pops from the crowd>
CS: But again, this isn't about me. Or you. Or Penwing or SD-6. This is about two of the greatest collections of talent ever brought to this ring. Tonight, it's you or us. You can thank Meeko for putting together such a great Coalition. You'll not only have to face off against all of SD-6, but you'll have to contend with the guy you've been laughing at all this time, Chris Oakley. <Some cheers from the crowd> You'll have to deal with the eccentric yet dangerous Spandex Monkey Man. <A few fans start chanting 'Spandex! Spandex!'> You'll get to take on Nowhereman. <The cheers intensify> And, oh yeah, before I forget. The Dark Lords.
<The crowd erupts into a frenzy.>
CS: So Joe, Snarf, Louie, and all of you Family Buffet stooges, come on out to this ring later tonight, and bring your game with you. You'll need it. Oh, and that other title dispute you mentioned? PenWing and myself will be defending the Donkey Lovin' tag titles right here, in this very ring, on the next Havoc.
Marcum: What? Next Havoc? What kind of a match is it gonna be?
CS: It'll be PenWing and myself, Howlerama, Two-Ton Tommy and James Fantastic... and Joe Mama and King Snarf.
<The crowd erupts again>
CS: See you later tonight, everybody.
<The applause drowns out 'We Will Rock You' as the three members of SD-6 exit the ring and leave via the ramp>
Monroe: It looks like all hell is about to break loose tonight!
