Johnny Evil vs Mick Roly-Poly
*Mick Roly-Poly makes his entrance to the sound of screeching tires and familiar music. The crowd cheers when he says the name of their city over the microphone for some reason. Then the lights go out and EVIL IS COMING appears on the screen as the opening of "Won't Back Down" plays, fireworks shoot up the ramp in time to the drumbeats, the lights come back on and...*
HEEEEEEERE WE ARE
BORN TO BE KINGS
WE'RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE...
*The crowd goes crazy as the vaguely UFO-like golf cart drives up to the ramp, but it's empty.*
When I pretend everything is how I want it to be
I look exactly just like you wanted to see
When I pretend I can forget about the criminal I am
Stealing second after second just 'cause I know I can..
*The crowd is pretty confused by this point, then Johnny Evil steps around one side of the VUFO-LGC and Ariel steps around the other side as YET ANOTHER song starts to play...*
AM I more than you bargained for yet?
I've been dying to tell you everything you want to hear
'Cause that's just who I am this week...
*JE poses, ducking down a bit and flexing as Ariel holds his NW mask up in one hand and the Original JE hood up in the other, more pyro goes off as Fall Out Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down" continues to play, then they make their way to the ring."
Marcum: Wow! What an entrance!
Monroe: I've seen better.
Marcum: Sure you have.
Monroe: This is not just a no DQ, falls count anywhere match. Any of Mick Roly-Poly's or Johnny Evil's personalities can become involved!
Marcum: And it looks like they're starting off with the big guns! The Bastardo Family's Johnny Evil vs Cowboy Jack!
*CJ seems ready to lock up, but BFJE counters with a tae kwon do combo. CJ scrambles out of the ring, reaches underneath and pulls out a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire, he then lights it.*
Monroe: Johnny Evil is crazy, but I don't think he's crazy enough to want to get in range of that!
*And, he's right. JE and Ariel take off up the ramp and duck behind the curtain. CJ goes after them. But, before he's halfway up the ramp, NotWedge comes out from behind the curtain! The crowd goes nuts as he climbs into the Vaguely UFO-like Golf cart and drives it right at CJ! CJ jumps off the ramp, but in his haste he sets himself on fire. He screams in pain and goes under the ramp. NW gets out of the VUFO-LGC to go after CJ, when Oh the Humanity climbs out from the other side, he has a sock with a face on it as he stalks NW.*
Monroe: It's Mr. Tubey!
*NW suddenly turns around and kicks OtH in the gut and picks him up and slings him over the shoulder. He grabs his head with his other arm, takes a couple steps, spins and...*
Marcum: It's the WEDway PeopleMover!
Monroe: No! It's the Reverse Monkey Death Drop!
*...right on the ramp. NW covers OtH but OtH kicks out at the last possible moment. NW stands up and pulls OtH to his feet. He grabs OtH's mask, pulling it off by mistake. OtH pulls off his outer shirt, revealing tie dye underneath.*
Marcum: It's Dud Love, the Dirty Hippie!
*They go at it again, DLtDH catches NW off guard and goes for his Big Kick to the Shin. He connects, and hits a double arm DDT, NW's mask goes flying. DLtDH goes for a cover, but Ariel puts the Original Johnny Evil hood onto JE, and he kicks out. JE gets up and puts DLtDH into a full nelson and makes him face the screen, suddenly an episode of the Wiggles appears on the screen. DLtDH screams in terror at the sight of the worst thing to come out of Australia since Young Einstein.*
Marcum: That's evil, even for him!
*OJE slams DLtDH to the ground and takes off his hood, once again the Bastardo Family's Johnny Evil. DLtDH struggles back to his feetas Ariel steps up with a chair in her hand. BFJE his DLtDH with the Making of Flubber! He then goes for the cover, but DLtDH kicks out at the last moment. BFJE can't believe it.*
Marcum: Good Gob! No one's ever kicked out of the Making of Flubber!
Monroe: Even as Dud Love, Mick Roly-Poly is still the hardcore legend!
*Mick Roly-Poly struggles back to his feet, only to get hit by ANOTHER Making of Flubber. Instead of going for the pin right away this time, he has Ariel lay the chair on MR-P's face, and he slams it down with a devastating axe kick.*
Monroe: That variation of the Making of Flubber is even more damaging than the original!
Marcum: And he's not done!
*JE hits MR-P with another axe kick/Making of Flubber. The crowd gasps at the impact. He does it again and makes the pin. MR-P doesn't move at all.*
Marcum: He's done it! The hardcore legend is no more!
*EMTs come out with a stretcher.*
Monroe: I don't know if he can fully recover after a beating like that!
Marcum: I don't think things will ever be the same for him, or for Johnny Evil!
Now he's the hardcore legend!
Monroe: But what will happen now that Johnny Evil's other personalities have been reawakened?
