Main Event: Rob Kamphausen vs Billionaire Vince

Monroe: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our Main Event! RDCW’s Owner, Rob Kamphausen versus the CEO of WWE, Billionaire Vince!!!

Madman: Remember, folks, this is a street Fight-style match! The only stipulation is that NO ONE from EITHER roster can come anywhere near ringside! Anyone who violates this rule will cost his Boss the victory!

Monroe: And remember what’s at stake! It’s the entire RDCW put up against Billionaire Vince’s money and a weekend with his Divas! Let’s get to ringside!!!

Billionaire Vince’s entrance music plays as the WWE’s CEO struts to ringside like a man who has already won his match (or has something large stuck up his arse). He enters the ring, points at everyone and bellows “YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!”

Rob's Killer Instinct Theme Music plays and the crowd shoot to its feet! Out walks the man with the money behind the greatest promotion in wrestling today! He pauses at the head of the ramp and takes a moment to enjoy the fanfare He points to Vince and then points to his groin.

Monroe: Shades of Raul Mondesi to the Red Sox fans in Fenway’s right field seats!

Madman: Gah-DAMN I’m excited!!! Go get ‘im, BOSS!!!



Rob walks to the ring. The ref has to move Vince back to allow Rob entry…into the ring, that is. Rob stands at each corner and points at the fans, who get even louder – if that’s possible! Then the ref motions for the bell and the match gets underway!

Billionaire Vince gets the early advantage, turning a collar and elbow tie-up into a headlock. As he tightens his grip on Rob’s…head…he calls out (to no one in particular), “I’m a genetic jackhammer!!!” He lets the grip go, allows Rob to face him, and then slaps Rob in the face, screaming “YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!!” Rob responds by driving fists into Vince’s gut, backing him into a corner, and deliver chop after stinging chop to Vince’s chest!

Crowd: !!!

Vince manages to get out of the corner and deliver a clothesline to Rob, knocking him to the mat. Vince drives an elbow into Rob’s chest and tries for a pin, which Rob quickly kicks out of. Vince picks him up and Irish whips him into the ropes, trying for (but missing) a big boot. Rob ducks it, but gets hit with another clothesline. Another pin is quickly kicked out of. As Rob gets to his knees, Vince starts posing for the booing crowd. But Vince’s arrogant expression is replaced by a look of shock and pain. His face goes gray as Rob locks in…

Madman: It’s the HAND OF GOB!!! THE RIGHT HAND OF GOB!!!

Sure enough, Rob has locked Vince’s “genetic jackhammer” in a Killer Claw that would do Killer Kowalski proud. Vince tries to free himself from the terrible grip without actually moving. His eyes fill with tears and he is whimpering as Rob stands up.

Rob: Tap out, or I’ll twist my wrist!

BV: (high-pitched whimpering)

Madman: It looks like Vince won’t be doing much genetic jack hammering for a while!!!

Monroe: Waitaminnit! What’re those two idiots in the crowd doing???

The two familiar looking men jump into the ring area. With some difficulty, they enter the ring and hit both promotion owners, causing Rob to break the hold. The ref is trying to sort things out as the two men scramble to get a mic.

Monroe: It’s the HUCKSTER AND THE NACHO MAN!!!

Madman: FUCKING WHO???

Monroe: Remember Billionaire Vince’s botched parody angle? Back when he was obsessed with Hillbilly Championship Wrasslin’?

Madman: Those wrasslers were REAL???

Monroe: Apparently so.

The Huckster and The Nacho Man stand in the ring.

H: Brutherrrrrrrrrr…we haven’t worked in over ten years!

NM: Oooooh YEAH!!!

H: We sold out to Vince and got tossed aside when he was done with us!

NM: Diggit!!!

H: I’ve eaten so much Slim Jim that I’ve stopped having solid bowel movements!

HM: Snap into it!!!

H: So we’re gonna take out our revenge on Billionaire Vince! And, when we’re done, Rob is gonna hire us – or we’ll kick his butt!

NM: Will work for food, brother! YEAH!!!

The pair moves to attack Vince, but the Huckster seems to have a heart attack. It becomes clear that it’s just heartburn from the Slim Jims, but it staggers the big guy. As he drops to one knee, Rob delivers a Crapping Wizard to the Huckster! The Nacho Man tries to surprise Rob, but falls prey to an Enforcer! Rob tosses both men out of the ring, where security drags them away…

NM: SNAP INTO IT!!!

H: Please hire us!!! We’ll clean toilets!!!

Rob waves goodbye to the men. Vince tries to use the distraction to hit another clothesline, but Rob locks in the HAND OF GOB(!!!) again, eventually turning it into a body slam. As Vince writhes in pain on the mat, Rob runs at the ropes, bounces off, and hits Vince with a BIG LEGDROP!!! Rob goes for the pin.

REF: 1…

Monroe: Rob’s gonna win!!!

REF: 2…

Madman: Dammit, I knew he would!!! I KNEW HE’D WIN!!!

REF: 3!!!

Rob Kamphausen has won the match!!! The entire RDCW roster streams out to the ring. As the ref helps Billionaire Vince out of the ring, the roster enters and both Grimm and PenWing lift Rob onto their shoulders! Rob's Killer Instinct Theme Music plays as the crowd and the wrestlers celebrate. Rob is moved onto the shoulders of Joe Mama and Captain Sammitch, then onto Nowhereman and Darth! Chris Oakley and King Snarf high-five and then run out of the ring, up the ramp, and to the back. When they return, they’ve got all the WWE Divas with them. The wrestlers part, creating a path for the ladies to enter the ring. They surround Rob and every RDCW faction’s manager approaches Rob with larges suitcases marked “BV”. Everyone knows what’s in those suitcases – Rob opens one, looks around smiling, and nods. The wrestlers erupt with cheers!

Monroe: Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been an AMAZING INVADED!!! PPV! We want to thank you for tuning in!

Madman: Enough talk, Monroe! Let’s get in there and CELEBRATE!!!

The announcers leave their broadcast positions and enter the ring to join the party as INVADED!!! ends.