Let me ask you something....is England ready to rock?

I said, are you ready to ROCK?!!!!

{Insert screaming 80's guitar riff}

Because you demanded it! One night only! The RKMB's own rock&roll superstar himself!

Ladies and Gentlemen...God save the Queen from....

Quote:



Nowhereman



1) What is your full name?

Ah, now that would be telling. Lets just say the name most people who have met me in the last few years only know me by the name CC.........its a rock n roll type thang!

2) Where do you currently reside?

I could tell you the town I live in but it would mean nothing to anyone here except backwards7 & Lord BATTY. Lets just say that the town I live in is positioned on the border or Kent & London & actually classifies as both. Its a bit city & a bit country..........we have a lot of pikeys.

3) Don't bring Brad Pitt into this. So tell me, in your opinion, what is it to be British? What makes your culture stand out from the rest of the world, and how do you think England fits in with the whole?

I never think of myself as British, as far as I am concerned I'm English. Its kinda hard to explain the difference, but history between the nations that make up Britain will show there has always been a divide, or at least a friendly rivalry.

As far as being either British or English, I dont really know what makes us different to any other nation or what makes us stand out other than inaccurate, out of date generalisations. For such a small country, there is a wide variety of differences as you progress from the southern most coast to the north. My take on the country would prolly be completely different to a guy from Liverpool or Somerset for example.

4) You know one of the biggest things I noticed about traveling to your country? The fact that you guys call 'English Peas' just 'peas'. I'm simple like that. But, this isn't about me. It's about you. So, let's talk about a familiar name: Nowhereman. The name of a short-lived US tv series. But, most importantly, a name that is synonomous with 'surly, drunk Brit' here on Rob's boards. What made you choose the moniker?

The story has been told before, but for those not in the know, or just too gay to remember, here we go. When I was a teenager (many centuries ago) I used to create my own superheroes. One character I created was sposed to be me, even having my name as his alter ego. The characters name was Cobra, but after a year or two I made up some story in my head that he had to change names cause he was fucked over by the government & I called him Nowhereman, inspired by two sources.

The name obviously came from the Beatles song & the character idea was taken from Captain Americas brief time as Nomad, man without a country. When I started posting at the DC boards it made sense to use that as my id.........then of course came Captain Howdy, but that's another interview entirely.

5) Captain Howdy is a great name. That should be your porn name, or something. And, while we're on the subject of possible careers, what is it you do for a living? Are you still managing a Pizza Hut?

I'm a deputy manager in a Pizza Hut delivery store. Within that shop I am a jack of all trades. I manage shifts, do paperwork, deliver, make the food, clean the ovens, do all sorts of maintenance & look after the computers.

Been doing it a lot of years but its only the last few years that I have finally started to give a shit because its the first time in my career that I have had managers who respect me. My last manager started it & I have a lot to thank her for,and my current manager continues the trend. They are both wonderful people & also great friends who I have known for a decade or so as we all came up through the ranks together. People have tried to persuade me that I will be a good manager but I dont want that as I am happy being a second in command.

6) Totally understand. I mean, what's Han Solo without Chewbacca? And speaking of big, scary motherfuckers that are good with engines, I know I've seen pics of you here on the boards posing with some smooth cycles. Are you a motorcycle enthusiast? What are your main passionate hobbies?

I love my bikes & have since I was 17 & got my first bike. Never really had the urge to learn to drive as I just fell in love with bike riding,and still dont own a car license to this day.

My style of bikes has changed over the years from being big into choppers to my current love of sports bikes. Only style I dont like is off roaders. My main hobbies apart from that are motorsports, especially Formula 1, music (listening, not playing), movies & karaoke. Just got back today from seeing the British Touring Car Championship at the Brands Hatch track which is only about ten to fifteen minutes ride from my house. Used to collect comics for something like 17 years but lost interest in it.

7) Motorsports and comics are a bizarre mix of hobbies. The only thing you could get out crossing the two would be that 'Team America' horror from Marvel in the 1980's. Yow. Hope you missed that one. Moving on, what's a dream career for you? What would you do for a living if you could do anything at all?

I really dont know exactly what job I would want but either the music or motorsport industry would suit me. Its too late for me to be a racer or a rock star, but I am sure there is some job I could do to get me in those fields. I have done some radio DJing but with the style of music I love, I doubt I could get a job like that on a mainstream radio station.

8) Fight Club time: If you could get into a fist-fight with anyone on these boards, who would it be?

Easy, Jack the lil death...........I challenged the cunt & he wussed out.

9) Eight questions before you pulled out your signature word. That's got to be a record. So, tell me... 'Cunt' : Adjective, favorite catchphrase, or, way of life?

The funny thing is I would never use the word cunt to describe a womans naughty bits, only as a form of insult. I basically believe there is no such thing as an offensive word as its just a word,how can it offend? I do use it in real life but its usually just in friendly banter, so people are pretty muched used to it with me.

I will say it only became my catchphrase when people started mentioning me using it, just like the exclamation mark thingee! I now feel obliged to use them all the time..........you cunt!

10) I love you, too. I love you so much, I'll ask this next question as straightforward as possible: Is there a God? Why or why not?

Nope! Just does not make any sense to me that there would be after some of the things in my life. Why would a loving god let a family lose their father when he had a child of two (me) & a child of nine months,when murderers,rapists & their ilk are allowed to live? If there truly was a god,surely he/she would make sure things were better on this shit ball we call Earth.

11) A guy I met in Manchester called the Welsh 'sheep-shaggers'. What's that all about? Where's the rivalry come from?

Wales is very much considered the remote part of Britain. Kinda behind the times & a surprise that they even have electricity. Wales is very much a countryside type of place so its similar to Australia/New Zealand or America/Canada with its friendly rivalry of the bigger country putting down the smaller one. You also have to remember that despite my hatred of the game,the UK is a big football (soccer) oreintated place, and all four nations (England, Ireland, Scotland & Wales) all have their own national teams when entering international events such as the World cup, so this obviously breeds more rivalry.

12) asks: Doctor Who or Red Dwarf?

Red Dwarf hands down. Used to watch the Doctor as a kid & enjoyed it (especially the Tom Baker era) but it was never something I was a massive fan of,and into adulthood I kinda drifted away from it. Red Dwarf on the other hand was something I hated when I saw the first series but as I got older I began to understand what it was all about & fell in love with the show.

13) I've seen pics of you, Franta, and Roy Batty stumbling blind drunk through the streets of the UK. Ever been to America? In general, what's your thoughts on the U.S.?

Want to go to America but its just too damn expensive, especially since 9/11 & theres all these new Visas we have to get as well. Overall my thoughts on America vary. Some of it I love & some I hate. I do find that despite all the cultures that make up the country, as a whole most Americans (not all) are ignorant of the world outside their own borders.

The main reason I avoid the deep thoughts forum is because its just too American for me with all that political crap being thrown around. I dont hate America or Americans just the same as I dont hate any other nations,but there is definetley some traits that piss me off!

14) We Americans tend to piss ourselves off regularly, so, don't feel bad. Next question....Famous women: Who get's Nowhere's little anarchist to scream 'God Save the Queen'?

I'll try to stick to famous people who are well known outside the UK. Charlize Theron, Debra Winger (when she was younger), Lea Thompson, Anna Friel & Torrie Wilson all float my boat!

I dont tend to go for the generic beauties,and as a rule,I dont tend to like big breasted women,especially false breasts.....but that isnt a solid rule as Torrie Wilson shows.

15) Guiness pint-match: You vs. Joe Mama? Who's sleeping under the table?

I hate Guiness, and not even a big fan of lager, although I do drink it. I am a spirits man, specially Jack Daniels. The fact that I metabolise alcohol real quick means I dont get drunk quickly unless I drink a lot in a real short time, and even then I sober up real quick. Thats one of the reasons I dont drink much anymore. That & the fact I ride my bike nearly everywhere.

16) I'm going to ignore the fact that you dislike Guiness, and just pretend you were drunk when you said that. Anyway, what's your favorite movie of all time? I know you are an avid 007 fan. What's the attraction?

If I had to pick one movie it would have to be Star Wars as it was the first movie I saw at a cinema, so it has a special place in my heart. Being a Bond fan is something I grew up with. I started watching them as small kid & enjoyed them, and as I got older I still enjoyed them.

I think the main attraction of Bond is kinda like Batman, he is the guy you can aspire to be, unlike Superman and his ilk. What red bloodied male wouldnt wanna be Bond?

17) Pariah and Chris Oakley, right off the top of my head. And, considering I even know those names, let me ask you a very sensible question: Why do you come here? What keeps you coming back to Rob's Boards? Any favorite poster you want to mention?

The freedom of these boards is prolly the main reason. Also just waiting for the next Speedy/Jack/Oakley style explosion, is good for the soul.

I dont think I need to mention any names as the guys that are my peeps know who they are, and if I left any names out, they'd cry like little babies that I have forsaken them (Joe Mama springs to mind here).

18) That's funny. When I think of Guiness, Joe Mama springs to mind. And....you don't like Guiness. And, you don't like Joe Mama. Hmmm...I'm beginning to see a pattern here. So, if Joe isn't your pint of bitter, who is? Who is your hero?

I dont really have any heroes. Idols, yes, heroes, no!

19) Well, I appreciate you not feeling the need to elaborate and actually telling me who your idols are. Cunt!

If you had the opportunity to explore the stars with a crew of your choice, but, knew you could never come back to Earth, would you go? Why or why not?

As long as I knew we would all be secure as far as food etc, why not? Plus the fact my crew would be all women as I am a sane man!

20) In the legendary novels The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, author Douglas Adams states the answer to life, the universe, and everything is, simply, "42". What's your answer?

The easy answer would be 69 (whoaaaa!) but I am not an easy person. In my estimation there is no meaning to life or time as they are both abstract concepts!

Was that deep enough for ya?

Cunt!





Touche', my dear Nowhereman. Touche', and cheers for a fantastic interview...